Mandel Maven's Nest Lilith Watch:
Critical Guide to Jewish Women on TV, in the Flicks and Pop Music
Jewish Women on TV
Jewish Women in (and Missing from) the Flicks
Jewish Women in Pop Music
To find specific reviews by Nora Lee Mandel search by title, scroll TV shows as listed by season since 1999, and films in alphabetical order of English title.
Unlike everybody else, I am very careful in my analyses of films and TV shows to identify Jewish characters through actual evidence in dialogue, actions or supporting visuals (like the ubiquitous menorah-on-the-shelf prop). I look at how the character is explicitly identified, but have had to expand to implications, particularly by a Jewish-type-sounding name, though I find that no one else makes these distinctions.
I’ve had to also take into account how the audience reacts to them based on external assumptions, particularly if Jewish actresses portray them, either as identified by general knowledge or perception of physical characteristics or personality or other stereotypes of the actor/actress’s Jewishness, however defined by ethnicity or observance or some kind of Jewish identity so that their characters implicitly become Jewish because they have been cast. (Such as “tough Jews”, as David Mamet calls them, at least for male portrayals, particularly when non-Jewish actors play Jews, though I intend to read and comment on his essays "The Jew for Export" and related ones on the impact of Hollywood’s anti-Semitism.) I am repulsed by using octoroon/Hitlerian family tree definitions of "being Jewish" for any actor/actress, but certainly there are people who Americans think “look Jewish”, though that usually means some general European ethnic-ness, that could just as easily be Mediterranean or Eastern European, which gets even more complicated by the portrayal of Israelis.
The true diversity of how Jews really look is rarely reflected, like my redhead, freckled siblings, where my brother can “pass” in Celtic bands). I am therefore just as intrigued if actors/actresses who are perceived/identified as Jewish get to play non-Jewish roles.
My particular focus is on romantic relationships, as popular culture so rarely portrays Jews with Jews, let alone in a positive light. (updated 6/28/2008)
Why LilithWatch? Much of my thinking about the contemporary, post-"Molly Goldberg" image of Jewish women in popular culture was inspired by the archetypal "Lilith" on the long-running sitcoms Cheers/Frasier (played by Jewish actress Bebe Neuwirth). I used to do popular culture reviews examining how Jewish women are faring in television, rock 'n' roll etc. for LILITH Magazine, the national independent Jewish feminist quarterly.
Since the Lilith Fair women's concert tours 1997-1999 (and returning in 2010), the name “Lilith” has gotten associated even more with feminism, viz. the "Wichita Linebacker" episode of Veronica Mars, written by John Enbom and Phil Klemmer, which identified "Lilith House" as the locus for the stereotyped, protesting "militant feminists" at the fictional Hearst College. (Though starting in the third season, Supernatural treated Lilith like a Super Demon whose death then was the Final Seal that brought on Armageddon at the end of the fourth season.) (updated 11/8/2009)
Jewish Women on TV
I got tired of people always citing "Mrs. Seinfeld" to me as proof there are still Jewish women on TV, whether one considers a nagging elderly mother as a positive image or not. So I started covering leading characters who are Jewish women in Friends, Babylon 5, Buffy the Vampire Killer, Once and Again, Will and Grace (which I found too silly a show to keep monitoring even as she did end up back with her supposedly Jewish doctor husband), etc. My comments on The Nanny have been quoted in the catalog for the Jewish Museum exhibit Entertaining America: Jews, Movies, and Broadcasting, edited by J. Hoberman and Jeffrey Shandler, published by Princeton University Press, in Shandler's essay "At Home on the Small Screen: Television's New York Jews", and then in Joyce Antler's excellent academic study You Never Call! You Never Write!: A History of the Jewish Mother (Oxford University Press, 2007). No, I didn't write up Dharma and Greg where "Dharma Finkelstein" is Jewish only for the novelty of the name, like Whoopi Goldberg; Entertainment Weekly claimed that Jenna Elfman was specifically hired for the role because she didn't look Jewish.
Then with so few lead Jewish women characters, even the usual Dead Jewish Mothers, I turned to monitoring supporting roles, though I hadn't earlier covered the likes of the best friend on Mad About You, or the bat mitzvah of “Muffy” (played by Jami Gertz), where Devo performed, on Square Pegs (David Browne in The New York Times review of the DVD of the series on 7/13/2008 calls her “the proto-yuppie”). But then with so few of even those, I looked for recurring Jewish women characters. With so few of even those, I'm now looking at guest turns. While I don't watch many sitcoms, I do watch Law and Order to catch the Jewish Mother Murdering Matriarchs, fitting in with how executive producer Dick “Wolf maintains this consistency is by making most of the victims wealthy white people, which he believes viewers are more interested in watching. He limits the number of shows containing minority victims, including blacks and Muslims, to four or five episodes a season out of 22 to 24.” (per “Law and Disorder” by Rebecca Dana, The Wall Street Journal, 7/12/2008.)
With so few of those, I’m watching shows with Jewish male characters to see if they comment about their Jewish mothers or even date Jewish women, plus watching shows set in NYC to see if they ever have Jewish women characters, or shows in work settings like hospitals where in the real world it is common for Jews to be working. Like in NBC's Kings that though it was based on the Biblical book the closest it came to a Jewish woman was an odd "Sabbath Queen" as Death in a nightmare episode. So now, I'm also now looking at made-for-TV-movies, time permitting. With so few definitely Jewish women on TV, I’m even commenting on putative Jewish women, who I define as those with clearly Jewish-sounding names with implied Jewish-ness unless specifically denied, particularly if the audience is viewing them as Jewish, and also even characters pretending to be Jewish. (updated 3/22/2010)
I do detailed transcriptions, when I have time, of full dialogue and scene descriptions because I’m annoyed by the snarky or too casual inaccuracy, such as at Television Without Pity, particularly in reference to Yiddish expressions or religious rituals, that get widely disseminated as definitive, let alone are blithely prone to assumptions and acceptance of stereotyping. So I figure there should be one place on the Web that presents the facts and context about Jewish women characters, by TV season to monitor changes over time, which I mostly define by the Emmy Awards criteria, so now starts around July 1. (updated 7/8/2010)
I have not kept up 100% with most kids' shows, such as on Nick or Disney, unscripted reality shows (like ones that switched a Jewish mother to a gentile family or The Real Housewives of New York City or NYC Prep, let alone My Antonio), "procedurals" (those fiction investigation series without continuing story or character arcs), or Family Guy, or Kyle Broslofski's Jewish mother satired on South Park. (updated 8/14/2009)
For a feminist analysis of prime time TV, which takes into account racial but not ethnic minority women on TV.
2010/2011 Season - Jewish women characters were on 100 Questions and Hung.
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold in the 7th Season
18 To Life – Bellow Mother and Daughters
2009/2010 Season - Jewish women characters were on Bored To Death, The Deep End, Fringe, The Good Wife, Leverage, Inspector Lewis, Mercy, Nip/Tuck, Private Practice, Psych, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Three Rivers, United States of Tara, Ugly Betty, and Who Do You Think You Are. Putative Jewish women characters were on Californication, Gray's Anatomy, Heroes, House, Party Down, and White Collar.
Being Erica – Erica Strange – 2nd season
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Susie Greene etc.
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold in the 6th Season
Glee - Rachel Berry
House, M.D. – Lisa Cuddy in the 6th season
NCIS - Ziva David in her 5th season
Z Rock – Dina Malinsky, Joan Rivers and others in the 2nd season
2008/9 Season - Jewish women characters were on C.S.I., Diamonds mini-series, Eli Stone, Gossip Girl, Hallmark Hall of Fame, In Plain Sight, Nurse Jackie, Saving Grace, The Unit, and a Lifetime Movie of the Week. I happened to also catch a Jewish actress on the "make-over" show What Not To Wear. Putative Jewish women characters appeared in 90210, Californication, The Cleaner, Desperate Housewives, E.R., Gossip Girl, Hawthorne, Monk, and Sons of Anarchy.
Being Erica – Erica Strange
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold and others in the 5th season
House, M.D. – Lisa Cuddy in the 5th season
The L Word - Jenny Schecter in the 6th, final season
NCIS - Ziva David in her 4th season
Rescue Me – Valerie in her 2nd season
The Sarah Silverman Program in her 3rd season
The Starter Wife - Molly Kagan post-mini-series
Z Rock – Dina Malinsky, Joan Rivers and others
2007/8 Season- Jewish women were on The Cleaner, Eli Stone, Law and Order: SVU, Lipstick Jungle, and House, M.D.. Putative Jewish women characters appeared in Big Shots, Californication, Cashmere Mafia, Canterbury’s Law, Desperate Housewives, Terminal City, and Ugly Betty.
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Susie Greene etc.
The L Word - Jenny Schecter in the 5th season
Mad Men - Rachel Menken and Bobbie Barrett
Mandrake – Berta Bronstein
NCIS - Ziva David in her 3rd season
Nip/Tuck– Rachel Ben Natan
Pushing Daisies– Charlotte “Chuck” Charles
The Riches – the faux Cherien Rich in her 2nd season
The Sarah Silverman Program in her 2nd season
Weeds – Bubbe Botwin
The Wire - Rhonda Pearlman in the 5th season
2006/7 Season- Jewish women characters also appeared on C.S.I., Desperate Housewives, E.R., Grey's Anatomy, House, M.D., John from Cincinnati, Justice, Numb3rs, The Nine, Nip/Tuck, Rescue MeRome, Standoff, State of Mind, The State Within, Ugly Betty, The Unit and Waking the Dead.
Brothers & Sisters – Nora Holden
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold and daughter Sarah in Season 3B and Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold and daughter Sarah in Season 4
Heroes – Hana Gitelman
The L Word - Jenny Schecter in the 4th season
Mad Men - Rachel Menken
NCIS - Ziva David in her 2nd season
Rescue Me – Valerie in her 1st season and Beth Feinberg
The Riches – the faux Cherien Rich
The Sarah Silverman Program
Weeds - Yael Hoffman
The Wire - Rhonda Pearlman in the 4th season
2005/6 Season - Jewish women characters also appeared on E.R., Girlfriends, Grey's Anatomy, Nip/Tuck, Sea of Souls and Veronica Mars
Beautiful People - Annabelle Banks
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Susie Greene etc.
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold and daughter Sarah in the 3rd Season
Everwood - Delia Brown in the 4th season
The L Word - Jenny Schecter in the 3rd Season
NCIS - Ziva David
Sopranos - Julianna Skiff
2004/5 Season Jewish women characters also appeared on Grey's Anatomy, Judging Amy, Law and Order, Nip/Tuck, Veronica Mars and Waking the Dead.
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold
Everwood
Joan of Arcadia
The L Word - Jenny Schecter in the 2nd Season
Numb3rs - The Late Mrs. Eppes
The O.C. - Rebecca Bloom and the Nana in the 2nd Season
Pilot Season
Queer as Folk - Melanie Marcus in the 5th Season
The Wire - Rhonda Pearlman in the 3rd season
2003/4 Season Jewish women characters also appeared on CSI, Judging Amy and Law and Order: Criminal Intent.
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Anna
Everwood
Gilmore Girls - Paris Geller
Joan of Arcadia
The L Word - Jenny Schecter
Line of Fire
Miss Match
Nip/Tuck - Mrs. Grubman
The O.C. - Anna Stern and the Nana
The Practice
Rocked With Gina Gershon
Sex and the City - Charlotte Goldenblatt
Skin
Sopranos- Fran Felstein
Street Time - Rachel Goldstein
Wonderfalls
2002/3 Season
Breaking News
Everwood
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Gilmore Girls - Paris Geller
Law and Order
Sex and the City - Charlotte York
Street Time - Rachel Goldstein
That Was Then
The Wire
2001/2 Season
7th Heaven
2000/1 Season
1999/2000 Season
2010/2011 Season
So many crime series set in Florida, yet so few Jewish women! At least in the first season of The Glades, in "Mucked Up", by Lois Johnson, we heard about the bat mitzvah of "Esther Feldman", only because the Latino forensic medical examiner was pleased to be invited so he could network with her father the judge, even though he had to leave early for the case. (8/7/2010)
The season started off with the usual sexy Jewish women on TV – Israelis. Hung (on HBO), in the second season premiere "Just the Tip", by series creators Colette Burson and Dmitry Lipkin, the specially endowed teacher and part-time male prostitute "Ray" has just finished having recreational sex with his naked neighbor "Yael Koontz" (Alanna Ubach) in his broken house, but she has complaints different from his clients: Ray, I'm too old for this. Ray: We should probably stop. She shakes her head: Stop what? You mean sex? There's no problem with good healthy sex. It makes for a fun vibe in the neighborhood. . .I'm not in the army any more. I'm too old to have sex on the floor. He: You were in the army? She: Yeah, the Israeli army. You've heard of it?. . Get a bed and some carpet. Your floor is giving me scabs. And you call that a skylight? Ever hear of hiring a professional? I don't remember that she even had a name in the first season or was definitely identified as Israeli, so maybe that's why he, too, was surprised. (7/4/2010)
In the unfunny NBC sitcom 100 Questions episode "Have You Ever Had a One Night Stand", by co-series creator Michelle Nader, "Wayne" (David Walton) walks into his favorite NYC bar during Fashion Week and espies blonde "French-Israeli" (i.e. presumably Jewish) super-model "Arielle Goodman" (played by Beatrice Rosen, known as Béatrice Rosenblatt in her earlier French work) from his rich past: I saw her in Monte Carlo. Prince was doing jello shots off her stomach. I've wanted her ever since. She remembers meeting him there, but warns him: I'm going to make you work for it. . .I want you to woo me, Wayne. The good, old-fashioned way. When he proffers plane tickets for a romantic getaway, she demurs: You still think money is the way to a woman's heart? I wanted something from your heart. . .Figure it out because you have one more shot. His friend "Mike" (Christopher Moynihan) recommends he write a poem – in her native language, which stumps him. I once heard her talk in a wacky language. The friend gets a negative response to his query: Was it pretty? . . .OK, that was Hebrew. They write a love poem together, and do an online translation into some kind of gibberish. "Mike" is at dinner at the bar with "Arielle": I can't believe you are making me do all this because I don't have any money. She clarifies: I'm doing this to get back at you because you hurt me. . .We had plans in Monte Carlo and you didn't show up. I waited nearly 10 minutes. She's impressed he wrote a poem in her "native tongue": Wayne, that's exactly what I wanted to hear! Let's go to my hotel and get in the tub and maybe you can read it to me. But when he takes pity instead on the drunk female friend he had bet about getting a one-night stand that night, "Arielle" is left alone at the bar, where "Mike" finds her: He told me had to take a rain check. He rejected me for a second time. So he tries out the Hebrew poem on her and she grabs him for a passionate kiss. No surprise - "Mike" is played by the series co-creator. This show was so dumb, no wonder I don't watch many network sitcoms even for the sake of monitoring how Jewish women are portrayed. (7/8/2010)
18 To Life (a Canadian Broadcasting Corp. summer import to the CW) In this Montreal-set sit com, created by and mostly written by Derek Schreyer and Karen Troubetzkoy, about 18 year old next door neighbors rushing into marriage, "Ben Bellow" the groom is from a secular Jewish family, whose father converted. Mom is "Judith" (played by Ellen David, who has also gone by the name Ellen Cohen), and also has two daughters, the younger "Wendy" (played by Arielle Shiri) living at home and "the big sister from Downtown" "Monica" (played by Kaniehtiio Horn). The joke is that the gentile family is easy-going, leftist hippies, while the Jewish family is conventionally straight-laced, so both are initially against the marriage. As "Judith" protests the engagement in the first episode "A Simple Proposal": Why are you doing this to us? . . .We're not going to stand by and watch our only son ripped from our arms!.
Here's the CBC's character descriptions of the Jewish females:
"Tom's mom, Judith, has a way of making Ben believe all her ideas are his, which makes her the real power of the house. Though her primary role has been Ben's Wife, Judith has had a few jobs over the years. When Ben was struggling to complete the bar, she ran a successful mail order business from home that more than paid the bills (though Ben's conveniently forgotten this episode of their lives). Still, she is much more comfortable exuding control from places that are hard to see. Judith is a traditionalist, and if the term may bother her feminist neighbours, well, she'll pour it on even thicker to rile them."
"Tom's older sister is the practical one, when she's not over-imbibing. The consummate latté-swilling city gal, Monica will bend over backwards to convince Tom of his mistake. Yet to discerning eyes, Monica's Sex-In-The-City lifestyle doesn't look too hot. One day Monica will discover she's actually upset her little bro beat her to the punch. But until then, she'll aim plenty of scathing barbs at Tom without spilling a drop of her latté."
"If there's one person who could prevent Tom from growing up, it'd be his little sister Wendy. Theirs was (and still is) a relationship of Three "T's" - teasing, tickling, and torturing. A rebel in sheep's clothing, Wendy relishes taking Tom down a notch or three. Growing up, Wendy and Tom enjoyed playing "blame the other", a game at which Wendy was particularly adept. But they're also fiercely loyal. Wendy's a precocious teen, possessing an adult vocabulary and insight that at times can be disconcerting. Though she has big ambitions in life, for now she enjoys being a kid, something she hopes Tom doesn't forget himself."
Are Jews in Montreal known to be right-wing conservatives? In the third episode, "It's My Party" by Jenn Engels, "Judith" fondly reminisces about meeting her husband at an anti-nukes rally – when he was attacking the demonstrators. "Monica" is portrayed as money-conscious, planning to "invite all of Mom's rich friends" to the bridal shower, rating the guests by net worth, and anticipating which expensive gifts she can take as her cut for planning the party; the mother of the bride sarcastically calls her the fraught sobriquet "princess". "Judith" confesses she hadn't told her friends about the marriage: Then maybe I wouldn’t have to tell them when my 18 year old son gets divorced., then relenting and inviting them over for a "Mazel Tov!" when she hears just how the bride has loved him since childhood.
"Goy Story" by Skander Halim, who also wrote Pretty Persuasion, was full of exaggerations that seemed to be intended to be realistic, not satiric, but I recognized echoes of how my nephew finessed between his mother and his bride:
"Judith" has invited the couple over for dinner: So Jessie, how do you like the matzo ball soup? "Jessie" responds sweetly sarcastic: It needs some bacon bits. "Tom" quickly adds: She's kidding! "Judith" is casual: I knew that – joking's in our DNA! She and her husband kibbitz about various Jewish comics, but she moves on: You know, Jessie, there's probably a lot you can learn about our people. "Jessie" takes a big breath: You know, guys, there's no way I would ever conv- "Tom" interrupts quickly: converse about something like this without keeping an open mind. "Judith": So you'll both come for dinner next Friday? Because I've invited Rabbi Goldstein, that's the rabbi who converted your father. . .So what's the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman? A plaintiff!
The couple talk in the library. "Tom": I'm just saying, if you come right out and say you're never converting, there's going to be huge drama. "Jessie": If I don't press and crease my jeans there's huge drama with your mom. . . So you want me to let her think there's even a possibility? That doesn't solve anything. It just delays the inevitable. "Tom": Yes, but the inevitable takes so much longer when it's delayed. "Jessie": But isn't that incredibly disrespectful to your religion? "Tom": Disrespectful to the rabbi, maybe. But to the religion, solid. It's just a white lie. Not even white – translucent. [The rest of the episode revolves around hiding and revealing various lies – including the ridiculous one that somehow his dad has been hiding from his wife all these years that he didn't go through with the circumcision.] "Jessie"s mom lectures her against organized religion as oppressive, so insists on joining them for dinner, where she turns her nose up at paper plates and plastic utensils – how classy and wasteful! "Judith" explains: It just so happens that the rabbi keeps kosher and we do not. It's a religious observance. The in-law snorts: Good to know you kill trees to go to heaven. . . Why are you trying to brainwash my daughter? "Judith": I am merely trying to expose her to a different way of thinking. I mean she's an open-minded, intelligent girl, like – there must be someone. What's [her father's] mother like? "Judith" excuses her elder daughter as she proudly serves dinner: Here comes my famous kugle!. . .Wendy is at a Young Conservatives rally. The mother-in-law whispers: Do you see Jessie? This is how they rope us in.
The Rabbi addresses "Jessie": Judith said you expressed an interest in our faith. "Jessie": Actually, I think she expressed that interest for me. Her mother interjects: I just have to get this out there. It is possible to live a life without being bound by religion. "Judith": If you like to drift around aimlessly with no direction or purpose. The in-law: All right, Jessie is not converting! "Jessie": All I'm saying is that, while I respect your religion, I'm not really comfortable with the intention of this dinner. Her mother: Some of us feel religion has wreaked havoc the world over. Suddenly, the older sister "Monica" shows up and her brother asks her not to make things worse: Tom, please, what kind of manipulative, self-serving bitch do you think I am? But she starts hinting at her father's lies, asking the rabbi about the brit and circumcision, for a silly discussion that leads to exposure all around, including "Tom" blurting out about his wife: She has no intention of converting. Never did! "Monica" grins at the shouted chaos: Best family dinner ever. L'chaim! (updated 8/22/2010)
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold in the 7th season (on HBO) While I still haven't gotten around to commenting here the previous season of my favorite Jewish couple on TV, this season's opening episode "Stunted", written and directed by series creator Doug Ellin around a theme of macho posturing, had what I think was the first time one of the boys commented admiringly about their marriage. As "E" faces his own nuptials, he stops "Ari" from his sarcastic jokes about his wife: You're the perfect picture of marital bliss. The Mrs. is seen a couple of times on the phone demanding that "Ari" join her at a school parent/teacher conference: I like it when we do these things together! She's almost mollified with a promise of a fancy dinner when he cancels again – almost.
"Buzzed" by Ally Musika introduces jealousy for one of the first times in the series, as the Mrs. catches "Ari" congratulating a comely, ambitious colleague in the office– when he was supposed to be shopping with her for a vintage chandelier. (updated 7/27/2010)
2009/2010 Season
I have an extra category in my commentaries on Jewish Women in (and Missing from) the Flicks, and I could add "missing" for a TV show this season. In the confusingly mixed-message series Drop Dead Diva on Lifetime: Television for Women (summer Sunday nights. 1st season on DVD), I kept wondering if the plus-size lawyer "Jane Bingum" (played by Brooke Elliott), known for being brilliant and aggressive, was Jewish before her dead body was inhabited by the soul of a vacuous skinny ninny. But I couldn't figure out why she sounded Jewish until I saw Janice Rhoshalle Littlejohn's TV Guide interview with the show's creator Josh Berman from 7/27/2009: "Berman says the series is less about being big in a model-size world than about the struggle for identity. 'I don’t know anyone who hasn’t felt like an outsider at some point, whether it’s a weight issue or an ethnicity issue or religion. . .My grandmother, who I based the character on, was actually a Holocaust survivor—she was 14 years old in America and all by herself—so talk about feeling like an outsider.'” . (updated 7/8/2010)
United States of Tara (Showtime, Monday nights at 10:30 pm and On Demand) in its second season gave us the oddest putative Jewish woman on TV yet, surpassing the faux Cherien Rich. "Dr. Shoshana Schoenbaum" (spelled several ways even on the official site) first appeared in the 2nd season's "You Becoming You" by Dave Finkel and Brett Baer. Referred to as the former Manhattan therapist of the gay neighbor and writer of a self-help book, she becomes an additional alternative personality projection of Overland Park, Kansas suburban housewife "Tara"s dissociative identity disorder, complete with New York accent and Yiddishms. (6/2/2010)
I missed the first half of the first season of Party Down (on Starz, Friday nights and On Demand if your cable system is more reliable than my TimeWarner Cable), so I've been catching up to find hints if the woebegone "comedienne that happens to make ends meet as a cater-waiter” "Casey Klein" (played by Lizzy Caplan) is supposed to be Jewish. The closest hint I've gleaned so far is in the 2nd season's "Nick DiCintio's Orgy Night", by John Enbom, Dan Etheridge, and Rob Thomas, when she tries to explain to her ex-boyfriend his new girlfriend's feelings for her pet fish through commentary one can infer comes from the classic Jewish children's book The Carp in the Bathtub, by Barbara Cohen and Joan Halpern. Another actress reduced to naked waitressing commiserates with him: I got 'too Jewey' once…and I was auditioning for The Diary of Anne Frank. (5/8/2010)
A putative Jewish woman showed up in NBC's Heroes, "Lauren Gilmore" (played by blonde Elisabeth Röhm, whose character suddenly became Jewish in Law and Order back in 2005 and whose "Bitsy Epstein" didn't strike me as even putatively Jewish earlier this year in the "New Beginnings" episode of the new 90210). In "Once Upon a Time in Texas", by Aron Eli Coleite and Aury Wallington, she gratuitously complained that because of her secretive work with the company, that was then bagging and tagging those with special abilities, she had to lie to her mother why she couldn't attend her nephew's bar mitzvah.
The actress said in a TV Guide interview she will be a recurring temptation for an office romance this season of "Villains" for "Noah Bennet" aka “Horn-Rimmed Guy” aka HRG, who here turned down her offer to turn their co-worker friendship into a motel tryst: "She’s just a bad-ass kind of guy like him, but a girl. . .[they] have a past, that I can’t say is exactly romantic, but there’s definitely love between us. There was a period in time when they were incredibly close – nothing happened but they were really close – and you could see that there was a real bond between them. [Something] was almost going to happen, but he was still married at the time. So she erases her memory of when it started to become a little hot and heavy between them. . .What I love about the storyline, is that it’s the question of soul mates. If you know nothing about somebody, do you still sense them? Once her memory is erased it’s still undeniable. I think we are meant to be with certain people. Whether we remember all the details, it’s just a deeper connection. . . and because I worked with him, I really understand him, and that sort of brings him to life in another way. . .The emotional relationship between HRG and Lauren is really well-written and really well-realized. And then of course there’s all the intensity of the plot and the action that goes along with their mission together professionally. So it’s got a little Mr. & Mrs. Smith to it." When she returned in "Chapter 10: Thanksgiving", by Adam Armus and Kay Foster, she's living in D.C. and working for the C.I.A.. They meet in the supermarket where she helps HRG shop and then prepare dinner for his daughter, his Ex, and her boyfriend, even as he keeps telling them she's just an "old friend". She's wry when the Ex first presumes she's the hired help: Mistaken for a domestic. That certainly breaks the ice.. Later she defends him: I think Thanksgiving dinner was his way of showing [the daughter] that she has a family who loves her. When he suggests they follow up with Christmas dinner, she deflects: How about a movie? and gives him her phone number. She made another putative Jewish reference in "Chapter 11: The Fifth Stage" written by Tim Kring. She and HRG are setting out on a movie date (She: Who said anything about sex?) when she agrees to help him out: Working for the CIA has a few benefits, like waterboarding terrorists, some pretty decent bagels, and the ability to triangulate cell phone calls. He confesses to her that she had the memory of her feelings for him erased: You chose the high road. She: So now you're single, playing the field and you thought you could re-ignite the flame?
In "Chapter 13: Let It Bleed" by Jim Martin, "Lauren" may be the first political liberal in the series. When a restaurant owner recognizes her sardonically as "The Iron Maiden", HRG explains: Just a little nickname you earned back in the day. It's a compliment. But later she stops him as he ratchets up interrogation of a suspect: Noah Stop! Torture doesn't work! I may have been the Iron Maiden back in the day, but I have changed. You may think I'm shoving my liberal agenda down your throat, but you are losing your target with your emotions. . .These medieval tactics are getting you nowhere! (updated 1/6/2010)
The Simpsons celebrated their 20th anniversary, 450th episode in "Once Upon a Time in Springfield, by Stephanie Gillis, with a twist on the usual putative Jewish woman – she sure seems Jewish, but she's not. "Princess Penelope", voiced by Anne Hathaway with a very thick Long Island patois, is set to marry her life-long crush "Krusty the Clown", My Borscht Belt Baby, under a chuppah, when Krusty’s father, "Rabbi Hyman Krustofski" surprisingly announces: “We are gathered here today to marry a Jew and — a Congregationalist? Is that even a thing?. (updated 1/15/2010)
In House, M.D.this season, "Dr. Chris Taub" (played by Peter Jacobson) is back on the team, and while it's still not 100% sure if his wife (played by Jennifer Crystal Foley, daughter of Billy Crystal) is Jewish, the "Ignorance is Bliss" episode by David Hoselton skirted suggestively with a couple of Jewish women stereotypes about money and castrating their men. When a colleague rags him about what his wife thinks of him again quitting a lucrative practice, he ruefully notes that he's been relegated to the living room couch. He finally brings it up with her after a long day at work, while she's reading in bed: We have to talk about this. She: It's late, I'm tired. He: I know it's a big pay cut, but I'll always have a chance to make money, but I won't always have a the chance to do this job. She: That's what you think? That it's about money? He: So it's about that I didn't consult you before I took this job? She:That was offensive. But it's not about that either. He:So then – can ;you give me the first letter? She:When we got married, you were an intern working 30 hour shifts doing grunt work and we both put up with it because we knew it was leading to something better. In your private practice you called the shots. But now you're 40 years old and you're still doing grunt work. He: Is that what this is about? You think I'm a wuss? She: He made you miss Thanksgiving dinner. And to prove her point his beeper goes off. He then puts in action "Dr. House"s maxim of "Everybody lies.": he takes a photo of "Dr. House"s bruised face from his colleague's punch and tells his wife she was right, that he was the one who told off the boss and insisted on ground rules. She's first worried: Is he OK? Are you going to be fired? Arrested? Wow! And then she gives him a big sexy kiss and he gets mighty lucky.
In "Black Hole" by Lawrence Kaplow, they are arguing, he thinks about couples therapy. She: We're arguing over the fact that we never do anything together any more. . .I love you but if you start talking to me again like I'm on the witness stand I swear I'm going to break your neck. . .What do we do gether just the two of us? He tries to keep it at going out to dinner, but she keeps arguing, and complains about her to his colleagues. Later they exchange sexy texts, including while she's grocery shopping – but unbeknownst to her, when she arrives at the hospital for some afternoon delight in their car, "Dr. House" is the author. Her husband covers up by pleading for trust. Though she's a bit suspicious that he's made out in the car with someone else (and the episode continues to show hints that he still might be untrustworthy), at least there was one of the biggest visual clues yet that she too is Jewish. After he proposes to re-new their vows, they together look through their wedding pictures where he is wearing a yarmulke at a presumably Jewish wedding.
It continues to be a mystery that the series keeps portraying "Dr. Taub" as a ladies' man, when, come on, Jacobson is quite plain compared to the lovely Ms. Crystal Foley, and he's no longer a rich plastic surgeon. But in "Open and Shut" by Sara Hess and Liz Friedman kept the story line going, what with a patient who is in an open marriage. She's surprised he tells her about the patient: You're bringing this up because. . .? It's more interesting than your other cases? . .You don’t usually mention your patients. . . Is an open marriage something you want? . . All this time. . . There's somebody else? Be honest. . You want to. . .But it never occurs to me to act on it because I'm married. You are enough for me. Aren't I enough for you? By this point she's weeping over her restaurant dinner. Later he insists to a colleague that Rachel is worth it. because I'm 5'6", have a receding hairline. His wife later confronts him: Know what the worst part was when you had that affair? It wasn't the sex. It was the lies, realizing that the narrative of my life was totally wrong. You weren't struck in surgery, you weren't out. . .I don't want to go through that again. She then proceeds to set stringent rules for his affairs, and he's taken aback by her permission. She responds: It's what you want isn't it?. . .You want that thrill. . .But I love you and I really believe that you love me and we've got a llive together. At this point, I either walk away or I try to accept who you really are. "House" gives "Taub" a hearty "mazel tov" at getting his wife's blessing. But later "Rachel" weeps while meeting "Taub" at their car. I can't do this! I'm sorry. He claims he doesn't need anyone else. But later he kisses a nurse in the same garage. (5/15/2010)
Lisa Cuddy on House, M.D. in the 6th season: Once again in this series "Dr. House" made a comment about "Dr. Cuddy" being Jewish without any acknowledgment on her part. In the unusual "5 to 9" episode by Thomas L. Moran that focused completely an A Day in the Very Busy Life of Dr. Cuddy, there was no Jewish paraphernalia glimpsed in her apartment or any Jewish references made by her. However, when she asks "Dr. House" for advice on her tough, brinksmanship negotiations with an insurance company, his rejoinder is: Despite what you may have learned at Hebrew School or from Jimmy Cliff, sometimes the bigger they are, the harder they kick your ass. (2/10/2010)
A putative Jewish woman was in the second episode of White Collar (on USA) In "Threads" by Clifton Campbell, there were only clues that the beautiful witness to a murder by an Israeli counterfeitor during Fashion Week in NYC might be Israeli, whose many tangled necklaces possibly included a Star of David. Played by frizzy-haired Carmel Amit with a possibly Israeli accent, "Tara" explains she was at the party because she wants to be a model: I came here to get an agent, make contacts, not this. She helped the FBI by recognizing that a contact was speaking Hebrew on the phone. When she wears a sexy dress to trap the bad guy, she tries to allay her nervousness: If only I could wear it on a runway. Her handler keeps reassuring her how beautiful she looks and encourages her: Who's to say you won't one day? (11/3/2009)
Even in the third season of Showtime's Californication I'm still only classifying “Marcy Runkle” (played by Pamela Adlon, née Segall) as a putative Jewish woman, though she described a nice dress as "a schmata", in "Mr. Bad Example" by Gina Fattore and Matt Patterson. Maybe if I was more convinced I'd bother to describe in detail her drug and sexual escapades (including bedding her teen crush Rick Springfield) and transcribe her profanity-laced dialogue. (updated 1/20/2010)
In the two-part 5th season episode "Hostage Takers" by Raymond Khoury of the 2006 British spy thriller Spooks, but shown this year in PBS syndication as MI-5, a dead Jewish wife was the reason the analyst "Neil Sternin" (played by Matt Day) betrayed the U.K. He helped a Mossad plot to thwart the U.K.'s effort to sell nuclear technology to the Saudis because his wife had been killed in a terrorist attack in Tel Aviv. He is so motivated for revenge that he even leaves his computer to kill another agency geek who has discovered his role, before killing himself. To balance the uneasy trust issue of Jews with dual loyalties, the Jewish government bureaucrat who supported the deal, along with his wife, are among those taken hostage by Mizrahi Israelis posing as Al Queda types. (2/10/2010)
On NBC's Mercy "There Is No Room for You on My Ass" St. Patrick's Day episode, by Peter Elkoff and Colleen McGuinness, "Heather" (played by Kate Middleton) the wife of "Mike", one of the very Irish Flanagan brothers, is suddenly and quite gratuitously revealed to be Jewish. This provides fodder for a lame joke where he claims that the family meeting in a circle isn't an intervention for his PTSD sister, but could be "like that dance at Jewish weddings". Even his wife is incredulous that he means the hora. "Heather" loudly defends her sister- in-law: What the hell did she do that was actually so terrible? She shot an armed robber. She beat up some skel who pimped out her kid. Instead, as long as the family is gathered together, she screeches nastily to her husband: Let's talk about something that is terrible. Like his porn addiction! He is a chronic masturbator and it is ruining our marriage! He yells back: Well, I have got to have sex with somebody! Unnecessary and unfunny. (3/22/2010)
In the Pilot of Deep End, written by David Hemingson , "Rachel Blau" (played by the ubiquitous Noa Tishby) is a potential client for the Los Angeles law firm from a Tel Aviv-based foundation working for peace in the Middle East that is "hunting for stateside representation". She talks fast Hebrew to a handsome young associate, who happened to be wearing a yarmulke because he was just back from a brit. She calls the Aussie a nice Jewish boy like you. . . We're cut from the same cloth, which is the only thing I care about in selecting a law firm. Except the closest "Liam" can bring himself to telling her he's not Jewish is to sheepishly say I like bacon. When he brings the papers to her hotel to sign, she supports TV's stereotype of beautiful Israeli women by sexually assaulting the guy. He protests: This is inappropriate. . . I actually worked kind of hard on this. She purrs: Let's just confirm that. . . Ooo., as she discovers the uncircumcised truth with her busy hand. She sends him a bottle of champagne and a note about silence is golden. (1/23/2010)
The Secret Life of the American Teenager, in its third season episode "Til It's Gone", story by series creator Brenda Hampton, teleplay by Elaine Arata and Jeffrey Rodgers, managed to find the most cliché Jewish woman possible. "Dr. Jeff Zegay" (played by My Boys hunk Reid Scott) is in bed with his older girlfriend, a blonde Evangelical Christian pastor's widow, as his phone keeps ringing – it's his mother and he keeps ignoring it. The girlfriend suggests: We could have sex while you talk to your mother on the phone. He's sarcastic: Ooo, a Jewish boy's dream! but she doesn't get the sarcasm. He explains that his mom calls him a lot ever since his brother died. And then post-coitus his mother walks into his bedroom! Played by Annie Abbott with a Yiddish inflection: This is the widow? I thought you were dead Jeffrey! You didn't answer the phone! "Jeff" is surprisingly calm: I was going to call you in the morning. Mom: You should have answered the phone! The girlfriend: I told him to answer the phone. Mom smiles: Good! Thank you. Your husband and my son have only been gone six months, but I like you. Life goes on! Do you have children? . . .Do you want more? .. .Something to think about. Good night. And next time, pick up the phone or you know what will happen! After she exits, the girlfriend moans with embarrassment. "Jeff" is still calm: Don't be. She's a liberal Democrat. No judgment. Unless you're a Republican. . .Oh no. . I’m glad we had sex before I found out. But she confesses to cheating on them by voting for Obama, just like she cheated on her late husband.
I guess Hampton and Rodgers figured they then compensated with "The Rhythm of Life" episode. I had specifically been watching this season to see if Mayim Bialik's eccentric and forceful guidance counselor "Dr. Wilameena Bink", with her internet degree and controversial past of going to the prom with a student, was Jewish and I thought early on she clearly established she wasn't. So where the heck did this impassioned speech come from that shamed all the gossiping mothers and daughters standing around at the Mother and Daughter Dance she organized that she opened with a very funny version of "The Chicken Dance" and closed with this monologue: It has been a wonderful evening, but it's time to say good night. But not so fast. I have a few things I need to say before we go. My grandmother and her sister spent three years in a concentration camp when they should have been in high school. And they survived. They survived, they said, because every night, rather than sink down in to the horrors that were going on around them, they imagined that they were once again dancing in their living room while their father played the violin. And they found the courage and the will to live, driven by the memories of dancing with their mother, and wanting so much to have just one more dance. When they told me that story I thought wouldn't it be great if I could get a bunch of girls together with their mothers and dance? Create some kind of special memory that just might get us all through high school? That's possible isn't it? To take each other by the hand – mothers and daughters and dance away the pain that goes on every day in our hallways? Granted, it's not a concentration camp and there's no war going on here, but there are wars and there are wars. If you've ever been made fun of or you've ever made fun of another girl, join me on the dance floor won't you? If you've ever wanted what another girl has and resented her for having it, join me. If you want to do what the other girls are doing because you don't want to feel insecure or left over, stupid or inferior, join me. If you've ever wanted a guy just because he was going out with another girl because you wanted to hurt her, join me. If you've ever wanted a guy not because you're interested in him but because you wanted to beat out the other girl in some sort of bizarre race for the guys, join me. Join me, mothers and daughters. Join me in stopping the meanness and competition that goes on every day in our hallways. Not only do women have the power to unite and stop all the wars going on in the world and I believe we have the power, but have the power to stop the wars within. And there can be no peace until there is peace within. This is for Grandma Sadie and my Great-Aunt Pearl. And she grabs a mom's hand to lead them in a circle dance to "Hava Nagila". (updated 2/20/2010)
The sci fi conspiracy series Fringe (on Fox) has had continuing dark hints of revived Nazi science since its first season. But "The Bishop Revival" by Glen Whitman and Robert Chiappetta was the first to link it to targeted Jewish genocide. The episode opens at the Milton-Staller (presumably inter-faith) wedding in Brookline, MA. "Nana Eve Staller" (played by Magda Harout) arrives with her daughter and brushes aside plea to take it easy in order to get inside quickly. Meanwhile, her daughter-in-law welcomes her son's bride "Shelley": I'm so happy you're joining our family. David is lucky to have you. Family is very important to me. That warmth becomes ominous foreshadowing. The grandmother is horrified by the sight of an uninvited young bespectacled blond man and points at him accusingly: It can't be! It can't be true! It's him! It's him! And then she and all 14 of her direct descendants collapse choking to death as their blood turns blue (an illegitimate grandchild is unaffected). The investigators find she has concentration camp numbers tattooed on her arm. Later the audience can see a photo of the staff of a pre-war German lab – and there's the face of the same guy who released the poison in the air.(2/10/2010)
Nip/Tuck also had a woman Holocaust survivor in the penultimate episode of the series "Edith and Walter Krieger" by Brad Falchuk. So what don't "Edith" (played by Hildy Brooks) and "Walter" (played by Harold Gould) don't like about themselves? (That's each episode's usual opening line.) She speaks up first: We want our tatoos removed. . . It just occurred to me when I was watching a documetnary on the TV about Buchenwald and suddenly I was overwhelmed. And I thought, well, we have lived such a great life, we've survived so much since there. So I want to erase this obsession with terrible things from the past.. "Walter": You can see she's a remarkable woman! Their daughter "Allison" (played by Amy Pietz) interjects: That's not what you said in the car, Dad.. He tries to hush her, but she persists: How can I keep my mouth shut when Holocaut deniers are more vocal than ever? When so many survivors have passed? Why would you two want to erase one single reminder? "Edith": My daughter is upset and I understand. She has a different perspective. "Walter": At the end of the day I want what Edith wants. She is my inspiration. This will be her chance, a second chance at some joy and I can give it to her. Yes, take it off. The doctors warn of the difficulty of doing plastic surgery on elderly patients with thin skin. "Edith": Doctor, after what we've been through, this is bupkis. “Raisins & Almonds" plays as they hold hands during the surgery. But the recovery does not go smoothly – he has delirious flashbacks in German. When his wife visits him in recovery she asks: You said over and over – what did we do to the children? What were you talking about? There was something in your voice. Like you were one of them. Walter, please tell me you weren't one of them! I didn't sleep all night. He admits he was "just a tattooist", justifying his role as those who were tattooed got to live. I promised God that if He gave me a second chance, I would live like a Jew. I lived with the people that I harmed., explaining he tattooed himself. "Edith" is aghast: It's not all right. I was your penance? "Walter: Why I was given this gift I do not know, but God gave me you. "Edith": God is a joke! "Walter": Does it count for nothing what I have become? I've been a good man. You always talk about forgiveness. She weeps. The daughter steps in when the doctor recommends painkillers: Why should he get any painkillers? He didn't give his victims any painkillers! She brings in a member of their temple who volunteers at the Wiesenthal Center, "Lena Gold" (played by Bryna Weiss), who has reported "Walter" to O.S.I in Washinton. If the evidence warrants Mr. Krieger, or whatever his name is, will hopefully be deported to stand trial for his crimes. The daughter tries to get her mother to leave, saying "Lena" will wait with "him" to get picked up. "Edith": I’m not going anywhere. The daughter retorts: Fine – stay with your Nazi! Her mother pleads: He's my husband! The daughter warns: You're not the only one he has to answer to. "Edith" shakes her head: Mein kindt – how are you ever going to live with yourself? "Allison" and "Lena" storm out. The doctor asks "Edith": Where does it come from? How do you do it? This capacity to forgive? She shrugs: How do you not? So this whole story was really a backdrop to the doctor's own complicated family problems. (2/28/2010)
Set in Brooklyn, HBO's quirky comedy Bored To Death had a string of putative Jewish brunettes for most of the season circling around lead character, blocked writer/amateur P.I. "Jonathan Ames"(played by Jason Schwartzman), who frequently identified himself as Jewish, albeit "agnostic". There was his ex-girlfriend "Suzanne" (played by Olivia Thirlby), or his best friend "Ray"s girlfriend "Leah" (played by Heather Burns), or his agent "Caroline Taylor" (played by Bebe Neuwirth), or maybe the naked bed bunny "Miriam Thompson" (Jennifer Blank) of his publisher. But in the last episode only the hippie chick "Stella" (played by Jenny Slate, previously mostly known for an F-word slip on Saturday Night Live) was explicitly ID'd as Jewish. It's been renewed for a 2nd season so maybe she'll become a regular character next year.
She first appeared in the penultimate episode of the season "The Case of the Stolen Sperm" by Jonathan Ames (yes, he named the lead character after himself) and Donick Cary, working at the Park Slope Food Co-Op and wearing a pink "Legalize Marijuana" T-shirt. After noting that the neighborhood may have more lesbians than San Francisco, she is affronted by "Jonathan"s request for info about a particular member couple, let alone at an attempted bribe: This is a food co-op, OK. People expect privacy! We have ethics here. The people who work here are like family! Who do you think you are? I'm not going to betray their trust for money! He points to her shirt: I might have something else that would interest you? And in the next scene they are toking together. She: I like a man who cames with a one-hitter. I can tell that this is good stuff because I'm kind of missing everybody in my life right now, but I don't mind because it's like a beautiful sadness. "Ray" joins in: When I get high, I realize that I clench my anus. "Stella": That's not healthy. . . ."Ray": Yeah, but smoking helps me unclench it. "Stella": See, that's why pot should be legalized. She hands over the address. "Jonathan" assures her he has more of this organic pot to share and she un-ironically concurs that they should get together, particularly when she gets the new vaporizer she's ordered: The volcano –they use it on cancer patients in Germany. It's very healthy. It's what Woody Harrelson uses. She gives him a comforting hug before getting back to work.
In the season finale "Take A Dive", by Jonathan Ames and Martin Gero, she calls "Jonathan" to offer really good pot from L.A., medical marijuana. It could help with your writing. At his apartment that's been left bare since his ex left, she offers to build him new bookshelves, based on her experience with Habitat for Humanity, and initiates a body contact game of one-on-one basketball. When that vaporizer arrives, she suggestively advises him on how to use it: Just squeeze down on that nipple and suck in the marijuana. . . It's healthy because it's invisible vapor. . . I'm really glad that you could hang out. There was a pollen in the air today that smelled like kissing. Do you know that smell? And they kiss. By the time they're seen post-coital she's grinning: I think I'm still coming. My whole body is vibrating like a tuning fork. He's in tune: I'm glad I'm not vibrating but I do feel really good. As they cuddle, she asks why he can't write his second novel: I don't mean to give you advice. But my writing teacher said you should only write about what you love. I'm not a writer, but that's what I try to do when I paint. What do you love? She supports him to write about his cases, then: Wanna vaporize some more pollen? He grins: I want to vaporize you. And they go for a second round.
On his blog background to the series, Ames explained her dialogue: "Jenny Slate as Stella is just great in the vaporizing and love-making scenes. I love the way she talks about the pollen in the air and then later asks, "What do you love?" I had her bring up the pollen because one time when I was living in Princeton there was this tree that was giving off the most erotic odor and I would become very aroused. I thought of climbing the tree and sort of making love to it, but chose, rather, just to inhale deeply as I walked past. Also, I have Stella mention that her body is vibrating like a tuning fork because I've noted that the female orgasm and its effect on the body is markedly different than what happens to a man's body after an orgasm. A man often feels drained and depleted, not to mention confused, but women seem to be energized, at least in the way that a tuning fork continues to hum for some time after its initial outburst of sound. The Volcano vaporizer that Jonathan and Stella use, I've been told, is the best on the market. Later, as a gift, the production gave me the vaporizer and it's now on my kitchen table like a trophy. Thanks to HBO, I have a television, bookshelves, and a vaporizer! Thank you HBO"
The character "Jonathan" later talks about "Stella" to his friends in what may be the most unique description of a young Jewish woman on a TV series ever, and has convinced me to seek out series creator Jonathan Ames's novels and maybe even his essays: I actually kind of like this girl Stella. She's sexy as hell, smart, Jewish, has a great vaporizer. Which his friend "Ray" deflates with the usual problematic conflation for Jewish women on TV: Sounds like your mother. "Stella" comes to his boxing fight against a critic and she kisses him in the ring after his victory. Later, he asks her over to celebrate, but she begs off sex due to her usual post-coital urinary infection. He asks her to just hang out without sex, but she kindly defers: No, it would be too frustrating. We'll see each other in a week. I'll increase my drinking to a ton of cranberry juice. She gives him a friendly kiss, but with a lot of admiration for his feat: You were an animal!"
In reference to an earlier episode, he described his background: "Half my roots are Czech-Kafka-Jewish roots and the other half are Ukranian-Russian-Jewish, and my great-grandfather, on the Russian side, Nuchum Schwartz, whom I'm named for and who was born in Russia and emigrated at the end of the 19th century to New York, used to go to the same Russian baths that I go to." (updated 12/20/2009)
CBS's undistinguished, Pittsburgh-set hospital show Three Rivers (Sundays at 9 pm) suddenly turned beautiful young nurse "Alicia Wilson" (played by Teri Reeves) Jewish in "Good Intentions" by Sunil Nayar. Her refusal of a shyly proffered, hard-to-get gift of a genuine Maine lobster roll from the smitten transplant coordinator -- That's sweet, but I'm Jewish. . . It's a bottom-feeder. But thanks for thinking of me., pointing to a Star of David necklace that she hadn't been wearing earlier, was sweet, but was just a light-hearted plot diversion about his romantic inexperience. A couple of episodes later in "Alone Together" by Frank Military a grateful patient's wife suddenly quoted the Talmud to the transplant doctor about "when you save one life it is as if you saved the entire world" despite no indication she was Jewish. (11/8/2009)
The breezy grifters-turned-Robin Hoods in Leverage played on two TV Jewish women stereotypes in "The Two Live Crew Job" by Amy Berg and John Rogers. "Olivia Mercer" (played by Chrisse Roccaro), the heavily accented daughter of a Holocaust victim, and her brother plead for the return of their father's stolen Gustave Klimt painting, complaining of the owner: "He even bribed a judge!" But the muscle in the competing gang of thieves is the gorgeous "Mikel Dayan" (played by the Israeli star Noa Tishby). She's described as ex-Mossad, she used to work both sides as an ex-mercenary. . .She'd mop the floor with you. She killed a guy once with a mop. . She broke the mop in two pieces. . . When she faces off, she only speaks Hebrew – until she teases You wouldn't hit a girl would you? She looks mighty fine in a sweaty fight, taking her ripped shirt off amidst broken steam pipes. But she gets distracted by a kiss before being handcuffed. Later she and her hunky counterpart compare scars. When she shows off one from a grenade wound in Somalia, he points to his from a sniper in Myannamar, which reminds her of having been a sniper there in 2003. (9/1/2009)
TV crime shows the past season have been full of Madoff-like, Ponzi-scheming hedge fund managers who are also invariably Jewish – though not in the third season of Damages that is centered around such a fictional case. The "He Dead" episode of comic summer series Psych, by Saladin K. Patterson, found a satirical angle when the botoxed widow "Alice Clayton" (played by Christine Baranski) announced We don't hide anything except money, illegitimate children, and the fact that we're Jewish. (8/21/2009)
Grey's Anatomy again tried to make up for being the only major U.S. teaching hospital without Jewish doctors by playing the card of “Dr. Christina Yang”s (Sandra Oh) have a step-father who is Jewish in "I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watchin' Me", by Tony Phelan and Joan Rater. She's frantic to be on the list of residents who survive a hospital merger: The list is life. Her doctor boyfriend is shocked that she would quote Schindler's List in comparing her situation to the Holocaust. She retorts: I'm Jewish. I'm allowed. And yet again in the lame holiday season (and deservedly low-rated) "Holidaze" by Krista Vernoff, "Dr. Yang" again claimed to be Jewish in refusing to sing along with a morale-boosting round of the secular holiday song "Let It Snow" in the operating room. The African-American chief resident appropriately put her in her place: Don't play the race card with me! (updated 11/20/2009)
Who Do You Think You Are is the U.S. version of the U.K. show that has been airing since 2004. A particular motivation for executive producer Lisa Kudrow to bring the show here with a sponsor, was to follow the Holocaust story of her father's family. While neither in her promotional visit on Oprah nor on her episode did she say if her mother was Jewish or her identification with her Jewish heritage, even if non-Halachic, (which would have been interesting for her to mention when Friends was on first-run and there was much discussion of the Jewish identity of the brother/sister duo and as her public image contradicts the usual image of a Jewish woman), her journey through the past and present was one of the best Holocaust-education programs I've seen on network television, especially for avoiding stereotypes and focusing attention beyond the concentration camps, as detailed in the documentary Einsatzgruppen: The Death Brigades. (More detail when I get a chance.) (4/20/2010)
CBS's The Good Wife pulled out one of TV writers' recent favorite Jewish women: Orthodox but with a past, i.e. Baal teshuva. In "Unorthodox" by Robert King and Michelle King, the titular lawyer is nonplussed to discover that the daughter "Anna Stern Loeb" (played by Natalie Gold) of the senior partner she is currying favor for is living in an Orthodox neighborhood. (Though the series is set in Chicago, this sure looked like the Brooklyn brownstone neighborhood where it was filmed.) The daughter notes their surprise at finding her there and explains why: I was in rehab out in Westchester. There was volunteer there, a yeshiva student. And he had this amazing LP collection. . .They were good LPs. Isaac was talking about passion and music and the Torah, and I just fell in love. That's the problem with love – you can't make it do what you want. Her legal problem is that a lady tripped in front of their house and their homeowner's insurance won't cover the exorbitant punitive damages being sought: It could take away our future. . .Just when you think you've found your place in life, comes this. She is meanwhile rushing around to finish her housework before Shabbat, but just as she asks for her dad's help, her Hasidic husband walks in, played by Daniel London, who for some reason is getting typecast like this lately. He protests: We don't want it. We’re not in touch with him. (though it turns out that the plaintiff's attorney is aiming at dad's deeper pockets.) Outside the house, the cynical investigator is not convinced of her transformation: Last year she was club-hopping with Tara Reid. Wanna know what she'll be doing next year? Club-hopping with Tara Reid. The husband belays his suspicions enough to ask if the lawyer is Jewish, as that would help her understand the issue. Instead, he's sympathetic towards her disgraced husband who helped the community with a skinhead problem. So the couple tours her around the eruv whose broken wire on the Sabbath led to the law suit. (I have a discussion of eruvim in fiction, re: Chabon's The Yiddish Policement's Union, and real life.) Of all the suspicious statements by the plaintiff, her claim that she shopped at the neighborhood's kosher market due to its large supply of gluten-free products, which are usually parve, was actually credible, as I do too – but it would have been closed on the Sabbath. While the lawyer looks enviously at the couple as they hold hands before going into court, "Anna" starts to cry on the stand when the plaintiff's attorney puts her cell phone records into evidence – there's been calls on Friday nights, so she could have called to have the wire repaired: A call to my father. We've been estranged. The attorney presses that she hid the calls from her husband, who stalks out of the courtroom. Despite the lawyer's protest that the wife wasn't being selfish, the husband explains: It's a betrayal. She lied to me. She's betrayed everything. . .Have you forgiven your husband? Then how can you tell me to forgive? The lawyer is sympathetic to "Anna": "It's going to be hard.. "Anna" concurs: It's the small things. He doesn’t trust me. Like with my dad the first time after rehab. He looked at me differently, like I was a time bomb. The lawyer tries to be reassuring: I'm sure he wants it to work. "Anna" smiiles ruefully: I'm sure he does. You can't just throw a marriage away, can you? And the couple holds hands after the jury finds in their favor. (11/15/2009)
"Fleas" by Amanda Segel Marks stuck in a rather bizarrely gratuitous metaphor when the son defended keeping secrets from his mother about blackmailers as being (not exact quote) "like hiding Jews. . .you know, from the Nazis". (3/16/2010)
Private Practice in "The Parent Trap" episode, by Craig Turk, had yet another Orthodox woman, mostly as an excuse to talk about sex. The pediatrician "Dr. Cooper Freedman" (played by Paul Adelstein), whose Jewishness is rarely referred to, and whose lack of knowledge about birth control policy among the Orthodox was really naïve (let alone executive producer Shonda Rimes in both her medical shows) was examining an infant while a toddler looks on: You have these two little ones and four others, what under 8? How're you doing? "Rachel Gold" (played by Rebecca Field), with her head covered and a long skirt: I'm great! I'm very blessed. Dr: Doesn't mean your're not exhausted. You get no time to yourself. . . She: It's Shimon. . .He's not interested. . It's not proper. I shouldn't be talking to you about this. It's not proper. And I don’t' think you can help. The doctor asks his friend the shrink and his girlfriend the doctor recently turned sexologist for advice, and they compete for solutions. He has the wife meet with both of them: It's not the first time Shimon hasn't been interested since we had a baby. But it's lasted longer this time. I started thinking. . . The two doctors keep interrupting each other and ask if he's emotionally distant, as they assume a stereotype. The wife smiles: Not at all. Shimon's wonderful. They ask about physical changes. The wife: Well, he hasn't een sleeping well. He's up poking around the refrigerator. And maybe I'm imagining it, but he's getting a bit. . . The doctors think she means flabby, or couvade, the sympathetic pregnancy syndrome. I'm sorry I'm not being clear. That's not what I want at all. I love my husband, but I can't have him. . . The sexologist is confused: I thought you wanted help with your sex life? The wife struggles: We have 6 kids, who I adore. But if I have to raise, or if Shimmon has to provide for any more, we can't have more kids. So this couvade, is there any way to keep it going permanently? The doctors argue a solution and come up with birth control. "Shimon Gold" (played by Dennis Apergis) listens: I work 2 jobs, 6 days a week. And Rachel is consumed. She makes our home. She juggles school books and doctors and meals and birthdays and so many things, I lose track. "Dr. Friedman": Exactly. So at a certain point, whether it's 7 or 9, do you think you'll want to stop? Husband: The Torah tells us "Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue it." We interpret that to mean that we can't do anything to try to prevent a pregnancy. I love my wife and neither of us wants to give up, you know. Doctor: What if we found something that wasn't technically birth control? Husband: We have chosen to be faithful [to Torah – I think, can't read my handwritten transcription]. Who would we be fooling? The doctor finally figures out he needs to talk to a rabbi, but, oddly, bring in his own, not an Orthodox one. Even this rabbi can explain to the doctors: It's a mitzvah for us. Married people are supposed to be having sex. . . Judaism is unique among the major world religions in that it promotes sex not just for procreation, but for pleasure. [Isn't Hinduism a major religion in the world?] You see, you should come to shule more often. You'd learn all sorts of good things. . .But you want to know about birth control. You should read the story of Onan. We're pretty down on anything that has to do with destruction of the seed. It's all about interpretation. Depending upon how observant they are, some Jews feel that if you've had at least one boy and one girl you've been fruitful enough. Others take a harder line. . .Rabbis have been debating these rules for thousands of years. . But it does look like your patients are looking to end-run the Lord. They sound like they want to live by the letter of the law. The doctors debate various birth control methods. "Dr. Friedman" suggests a semantic solution: If it doesn't say birth control on it, the Golds would be fine with it. They together advise the couple: Ultimately, it's not a medical decision. It's a personal one. The shrink meets separately with "Rachel": Dr. Friedman told me how tired you are. . .Your problem is very common in young mothers. Among other things, it's iron-deficiency anemia. This should help. If you feel you need it, that would be up to you. She hands over the round plastic pill package that "Rachel" immediately knows is birth control. She walks out with it to the waiting room full of all her kids. (12/20/2009)
ABC's Ugly Betty had one of its rare Jewish women, for a series set in NYC, in "Be-Shure" by Gail Lerner. "Jean" the pharmacist (Faith Prince) is very helpful to both "Suarez" sisters when they come in for pregnancy test kits: I didn't work at Barnard Health Services for 25 years for nothing. But she's also been invited to holiday dinner by their father. She brings along a menorah her niece made: I thought it might be nice to light it along side the tree. Dad enthuses about a multi-cultural celebration. In the midst of her English rendition of the candle blessing, she drops the menorah when a pregnancy test stick falls amidst the gathering. Later Dad sympathizes about the broken menorah. "Jean" is philosophical: It's fine. Between the Long Island nieces and the Brooklyn nephews, I have handmade menorahs coming out of my tuchis! Would have been nice to light it though. Dad invites her to celebrate a combined Easter and Passover. "Jean" agrees, with presumed foreshadowing of stereotypes unlike this episode: I'd like that. Just don't tell my mother. She'd kill me if she knew I was dating someone who wasn't Jewish.(12/20/2009)
In the second season of PBS's Masterpiece Inspector Lewis (the spin-off from Mystery's Inspector Morse series based on Colin Dexter novels) the usual loud, brassy, aggressive, liberal Jewish woman lawyer was in "Life Born of Fire", written by Tom MacRae. "Nova Rose Cohen" (played by Kate Miles) makes a point of explaining that her mother picked her first name but she has a Jewish father, in the midst of vociferously representing the Oxford gay community to be allowed their Gay Pride event on campus. She had also represented a nightclub owner to buy a decommissioned church from the college. Though dealing with all kinds of gay stereotypes, at the end her "partner" is revealed to be a male investigative reporter. (9/14/2009)
Being Erica – Erica Strange in the 2nd season (commentary forthcoming)
Rachel Berry on Glee (on Fox, Wednesdays at 9 pm) It was several weeks after Jewish bloggers assumed "Rachel" (played by Lea Michele) was Jewish that the scripts confirmed it. The talented and aggressive, diva and insecure, funny and obnoxious daughter of two fathers, "Rachel" hinted she was in the fourth episode, "Preggers", written and directed by Brad Falchuk, by speciously pleading that she deserved to play Maria in West Side Story because she could relate to the Jewish Natalie Wood from the film version. From a briefly seen photo in the pilot, we saw that her two dads are white and African-American, though she then brightly explained To this day we don't know which one is my real dad. and the actress in interviews has said the back story is that one is Jewish, though we won't see him until at least the third season. According to an interview with series creator Ryan Murphy in TV Guide 6/7/2010: "I like feeling their parenting influence without meeting them. At least for another season."
In The Hollywood Reporter interview with Leslie Bruce on 8/11/2010 there were no Jewish references: "Michele: Rachel was me when I was younger and working in musical theater. I was very determined and I did a great show every single night. I never missed a performance. Since then, I've mellowed out, but there is a part of me that's very Rachel Berry. She is so different now than when we started. Initially, she was very "Pretty in Pink": making her own clothes, and wearing tons of necklaces with big theatrical makeup. We were figuring out who she was and we realized her personality was enough. She didn't need the gloves and pearls." A year later, there was a veiled Jewish reference in an interview in the same publication, 8/26/2010, "On the set as Glee begins its second season" by Mary Murphy: "Michele was a Broadway actress who'd never had any long-running role on television, and was constantly being rejected either because she wasn't a classic Hollywood beauty or because she was too ethnic -- or for myriad other reasons. Now she's a mega-star."
While in the 7th episode, "Throwdown" by Brad Falchuk, the Glee director specifically noted to the grinning girl: All you have is each other. It doesn't matter that Rachel is Jewish. Because you're all minorities – you're in Glee!, so that in a show themed about divisiveness they can all join in singing Avril Lavigne's "Keep Holding On", most of the speculation about her was due to Michele, the Bronx-born, Jersey Girl actress with a Sephardi father, who told The Daily News' Richard Huff in "'Glee' star Lea Michele thrilled by leap from Broadway to new Fox show" posted 8/30/2009: “'I never really thought there would be a place on television for me. . .I have a very specific look. I’m Jewish. I’m Italian. . . I remember looking up to Barbra Streisand, and thinking, 'Finally, someone who has a Jewish nose, who didn't get a nose job'. . . Michele said she hopes that being on TV, in some way, might make her a role model. 'I love me and my body and my Jewish nose. If that is inspiring and can give young girls a sense of confidence, that's great.' " As she told Access Hollywood posted 9/9/2009: ""I got my dream song! I got to sing a Barbra Streisand song. I can't say which it is but it's one of her most popular songs. Ever since I was a little girl, a Jewish girl, it's like always been playing through my head. So I had the opportunity to sing that on the show." From a Q & A with The Washington Post's Ruth McCann posted 9/23/2009: "Q: Do you have an ideal musical role? A: I want to be in Funny Girl. And I want [Glee creator] Ryan Murphy to direct it. Q: Would you do it on Broadway? A: I would do it in a basement in Brooklyn, if somebody would let me do it! It’s the best role ever — any Jewish girl would want to play Fanny Brice!"
But it wasn't until the marvelous 8th episode "Mash-Up", by Ian Brennan, that her being Jewish became a plot point. Here's the details of the episode, because the very uniqueness for a teen TV show to have an attractive Jewish couple is why it was such a sweet and funny target for satire, fitting in the titular theme of blending two unlike songs into one. And then, of course, why it couldn't last in TV Land as the One and Only.
"Noah 'Puck' Puckerman" (played by Mark Salling), the bullying football player with a Mohawk who was identified in an earlier episode as Jewish, narrates the scene: I know this looks weird, but wait until you see what happens next. "Rachel" is singing Christina Aguilera's "What A Girl Wants" to the mirror with a hairbrush mike as "Noah" accompanies on her guitar. He complains: My ears are starting to hurt. Can we take a break? Wanna make out? She quickly assents and next they're rolling on her bed. Then flashback as "Noah" narrates:
I know it's wack, but I also remember what our history teacher told us last semester: 'Only Nixon can go to China'. I have no idea what she meant, but it reminded me of when my family ordered Chinese food and sat down together for our traditional Simchat Torah [pronounced with the hard "H"] screening of Schindler's List. That's really when all of this started. It wasn't the most normal tradition, but we did it for my mom. She said it made her feel more connected to her Jewish roots. [As shoots ring out from the TV, his younger sister runs away screaming.] As she was giving me my sweet 'n' sour pork, she said something that really hit home. Weepily: 'You're really no better than them, Noah. Why can't you date a Jewish girl?' That night I had the strangest dream. [He's lying in bed looking quite sexy without a shirt as Rachel appears at his window looking fetching in a nightie, wind blowing her hair against the moonlight and wearing a very large Jewish star necklace.] I knew it was a dream because there's no way Rachel could have climbed up the wall outside my window with no shoes on. When I woke up, I knew it was more than a dream. It was a message from God. Rachel was a hot Jew and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants.
Next seen is a dreaded Slushie being carried down the hall as students scatter hoping not to be the target. The hand stops at Rachel and she closes her eyes and mouth in anticipation of being dunked – but it's "Noah" offering it up:Hey, I picked this up for you. It's grape. I know that it's your favorite because the last time I tossed a grape one in your face you licked your lips before you cleaned yourself off. Hey, I was wondering if you want to get together to work up some mash-up ideas?
He continues narrating: Things happened pretty fast from that point. Getting her to make out with me was easier than I thought. Guess she's kind of desperate. But she's imagining he's the hunky quarterback "Finn" instead. When in reality he turns back into "Noah" she backs off. "Rachel": I can't do this. "Noah": Why – we're a couple of good-looking Jews. It's natural. He closes his eyes and comes in for another kiss. She: I can't give myself to – someone who isn't brave enough to sing a solo. If you don't have the guts to do that, then how are you going to be bold enough to deal with the ups and downs of loving an admittedly high maintenance girl like me? He: Are you questioning my bad assedness? Have you seen my guns? He holds out his arm. She: Noah, I'm sorry. Your arms are lovely, but I just don't see us working out.
In Glee the next day "Noah" volunteers to sing My personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon. – and picks up the guitar and sings a lovely version of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" to her, as she beams and grins, and she joins in on the chorus with the rest of the group. They are later arm-in-arm down the hallway, but he's thoroughly bored by her conversation about Tommy Tune. He asks for a comment on his song and she offers a technical analysis of his high B. But just as she says You're a great performer, Noah. I just want to say how proud I am to have you on my arm in front of the whole high school-- and he gets Slushied. Next, she's washing his head in the sink. He concedes: You're pretty good at this. She: I've had a lot of practice. You're actually a lot luckier than me and Quinn because your head is shaved. He: I'm really sorry I ever did this to you. She: It's OK. He: No it isn't. No one deserves this feeling. You know what the worst part is? It's not the burning in your eyes or the way the Slushie drips all the way into your underpants. It's the humiliation. I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. Rachel, I'm sorry, but today when the clock chimes 3:30 – She: You're choosing football over Glee, which means we probably can't be together any more. He: Yes, dammit, I feel like such a bad Jew. She kisses him on the top of his head, gets off his lap and out of the bathroom.
But at 3:30 pm she waits – and grins as he slowly does enter the Glee room: Are you sure about this Noah? Choosing us over the team means you might get a Slushie in your face every day. He: Bring it. They hug. Later, he watches football practice from the stands. She joins him: You miss it. He: Hell no. She: I hope you didn't choose Glee over football because of me? He: Why? She: Because I don't think this relationship is going to work out. He: Cool, I was going to break up with you anyway. She:No you're weren't. He: Yes I was. You won't even let me touch your boobs. He turns back to look at "Finn" playing on the field: Finn right? He's never going to leave Quinn, not with that baby in her belly. [which is his actually] She: You like her don't you? I can see you staring at her when I'm staring at Finn. Is that why you joined Glee, to be closer to her? He: Like I said, they're never breaking up. God, what's the matter with me? I'm a stud and I can't even hold onto a chick like you? No offense. Why don't girls like me? She: Because you're kind of a jerk. No offense. I just think you want it too much, which is something I can relate to. I want everything too much. Our relationship was built on a fantasy, like every other one in my life. I think I just agreed to us being together because I thought it would make Finn jealous. I just hope we can still be friends. She puts a hand on his shoulder, but he shakes her off: We weren't friends before.
The "Ballad" episode by Brad Falchuk continued to poke fun at "Rachel"s excesses, with Jewish references, while being sympathetic. While it opened with "Finn" finding himself admiring her butt, she only has eyes for their teacher "Mr. Shuester" when they sing a romantic duet together in class. He sees the warning signs when she gives him a novelty gift, a tie with a large clef and many stars: So whenever you look at it you can think of how you're making me a star! She comes over to his house, but even he's surprised at his wife's reaction: You're making her clean our bathroom? She's practical: I've been dealing with these school girl crushes for years. Why shouldn't I get something out of it? He immediately drives "Rachel" home, and even though he makes her sit in the back, she considers it "golden alone time" to practice "their" ballad – she starts singing Jennifer Page's "Crush". He asks about "Puck", who she dismisses He was too limiting, as are all the boys in high school. I need a man who can keep up with me intellectually and creatively. He remonstrates: That's a tough road for most high school boys. She agrees: That's why I have my sights set much higher. But his crush from a couple of years ago, "Pepper" (played by Sarah Drew), is aiming at her, and confronts her in the girls' bathroom: Hey Barbra Streisand. We need to have a little talk. "Rachel" rebuffs her as the school crazy. . . There's nothing you can say that will change how I feel about Mr. Shuester. Ours is a love for the ages. Your threats will just make our love grow stronger. But "Pepper" goes on quite the insightful rant, which she credits to what she learned from therapy etc.: Lesson Number 1- you and Shuester – it won't work. . .We're not so different you and me. We're both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we can never have! Mr. Shuester is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the feeling that we're not worthy of being loved! You need to find some self-respect Rachel! Get that mildly attractive groove back! At their next rehearsal, "Mr. Shuester" is emphatic that she's been inappropriate, even as she tries to tell him that she's prepared to sing Elton John's "Sorry Seems the Hardest Word" because I know how much you love it. . . I've been such an idiot. Mooning over you and cleaning your apartment. He is understanding about adolescents: I know it's not always easy for you, Rachel. I know there's some things about yourself you think you'd like to change. You should know there's some boy out there who's going to like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don't like. Those are going to be the things he likes the best.
"Hairography" by Ian Brennan continued to both zing at "Rachel" and sympathize with her. Gay "Kurt" is surprised that pretty ex-Cheerio "Quinn" talks to him for the first time when she propositions him to make over "Rachel", which appeals to his multiple personal angles: I admit that I like a challenge as much as the next guy, but Rachel somehow manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time. "Quinn": My point exactly. You are as concerned about the Glee Club succeeding as I am and she's a distraction. Look at her – she's wearing a pants suit. And a bright blue one no less. Don't you think the judges are going to take one look at her and may want to knock her down a peg or two? "Kurt": And to think I thought you were a dumb blonde. Deal. Next "Kurt" is with "Rachel" in her bedroom and waxing her eyebrows. "Rachel": Kurt, why did you volunteer to give me a new look? "Kurt": One, I'm a sucker for makeovers. Two, you need something to distract from your horrible personality. Most of the time I find it hard being in the same room with you. . .You're extremely talented Rachel, watching you perform is amazing, but sometimes it's hard to appreciate what a good singer you are because all I'm thinking about is shoving a sock in your mother. "Rachel": What kind of make-over did you have in mind. "Kurt": You need to broaden your appeal. I want every boy in school to do a double take when you stroll past. "Rachel": There's really only one boy I'd like to impress. Can you keep a secret? I'm in love with Finn. "Kurt" is startled – he is too. He changes his approach. I understand completely. I happen to know for a fact that Finn is attracted to loose women. "Rachel": What? Finn is so wholesome. "Kurt": let me put this in musical theater parlance. In Grease what did Sandy do to get Danny Zukow? She had to ditch the poodle skirt and slap on a cat suit. In short, she had to dress like a 'ho'. Maybe if your look was better, more desirable, Finn would be in your arms right now, instead of Quinn's. Next we see "Rachel" flaunting a lingerie look in the school hallways. "Finn" stops her but is speechless. "Rachel": Hey Finn, I didn't see you there. Did you want to ask me something? "Finn": Yeah, I just forgot, um, I got distracted. "Rachel": Well I'm glad I got your attention. I wanted to know if you wanted to come over on Friday night. As someone who has had long luxurious locks since I was a toddler in the pageant circuit I figured I could give you some tips on our hair number. "Kurt" meets up with her: Objective achieved. Commence Phase 2. On Friday, "Rachel"s grand entrance to "Finn" in her bedroom is dressed in an off-should outfit, like "Sandy" in the movie and she turns on the finale song, which "Finn" had sung at his Glee audition, and dances suggestively up to him. He stops the music and her. I'm going to say this as nicely as I possibly can, but you look like a sad, clown, hooker. This look, it just isn't you. Maybe when I saw it I was caught off guard that you looked all adult and stuff, but it's not what's really great about you, Rachel. I actually like the way you usually dress, sequined leg warmers and stuff. "Rachel": I thought this was what you liked. "Finn": Not at all. Funny, I was just having this conversation with Kurt last week and he asked me. . . Flashback: "Kurt": So what kind of girls do you like? "Finn": Well, I like them when they're natural and stuff. Not a lot of make-up, no skin-tight clothes. Back to the present. "Rachel": I feel like an idiot. "Finn": . . .But I really like you, Rachel. I gotta go. Nxt she's seen slamming "Kurt"s locker and confronting him: You set me up! With Finn. "Kurt": Looks like someone is running for Drama Queen again. She: How could you do that! I thought we were friends. He: And what made you think that? You should be thanking me. All I did was make you realize that your schoolgirl fantasy of running off with Finn was nothing but a fairy tale. She: You like him. That's what this is. And you were just trying to eliminate the competition. He: I was just trying to help him understand that you are not a viable second choice. She: You think I'm a second choice? He: A distant second choice. She: You think I'm living in a fairy tale. If I were second or if were 50th, I'd still be ahead of you because I'm a girl. He: OK, here's the dope, princess. There's no hope for either of us. He loves Quinn. They're having a baby together. We're nothing but distractions. The sooner we realize that the better. And later, they both watch sadly as "Finn" and "Quinn" walk down the hall arm in arm.
Following "Once Upon A Mattress" written by Ryan Murphy (which I haven't yet transcribed its negative view of "Rachel"), "Sectionals", written and directed by Brad Falchuk, continued to explore the issue of "Rachel"s similarity to the iconic "Tracy Flick" from Election, who is aggravating in how super determined she is to succeed, yet is very good at what she does, but who in the real life of the business world is seen negatively as a tough, or "bully", broad – a frequent Jewish women's stereotype, particularly seen in lawyers on TV shows. "Rachel" is first seen purposely trying to sow suspicion among the glee members: Did any of you think it was weird the way that Puck rushed to Quinn's aid at rehearsal yesterday? They claim friendship, but "Rachel" persists: But it seemed like more than that. I never told you guys before, but I'm a little psychic. I can't read minds or anything yet, but I do have a sixth sense. Something is definitely going on there. She calls after them as they flee to confer about how to keep "Quinn"s secret: It's nothing to be scared of. It's not like I'm Carrie or anything. "Artie": If she finds out she's going to tell Finn. She's a total trout mouth. "Kurt" proposes locking her up in his basement until after sectionals, but "Mercedes" points out: We can't – we need her to sing! "Kurt": Damn her talent! "Mercedes" sweetly distracts "Rachel" as she walks by: Hey hot mama! Then "If she tells Finn he's going to flip! "Kurt": And they we really have no chance at sectionals. "Rachel" continues to plot, but with a Jewish angle that fan sites didn't get accurately. She sweetly nags "Quinn" at her locker: Hey I know it's not my place, but have you had your doctor run the full genetic test panel on your unborn child? I only ask because my cousin Leon and his wife got pregnant and then they found out he was a carrier for Tay-Sachs. (We were tested before getting pregnant.) "Quinn" is worried: What's that? "Rachel": It's a genetic disorder, pretty terrible from what I understand, if one of the parents is a carrier than there's like a 50% chance that the child has it, or something like that. Leon's baby was fine. But it was still pretty scary though. "Quinn": My doctor never mentioned that. "Rachel": I'm such an idiot. They would only mention that if one of the parents was Jewish. Only Jews carry the gene. [sic] I'll see you in rehearsal. "Quinn" to "Puck": You have to take me to get those Jewish baby tests. "Puck": Is this even a real thing? I have Fight Club tonight. But "Quinn"s concerned this could endanger the adoption. When the choir learns they are on their own to do a set list, "Rachel" comes forward: I would be thrilled to contribute a ballad from my repertoire. "Mercedes" challenges her: You know what Miss Bossy Pants – Enough. I worked just as hard as you and I'm just as good as you. You always end up stealing the spotlight. "Rachel": Do you honestly think you're as good a balladeer as I am? She turns to the temporary faculty advisor and whispers: Ballads are kind of my thing. But "Mercedes" is allowed to try out and she explodes with, of course, "I'm Not Going" (an iconic African-American woman's song from Dreamgirls). "Rachel" concedes with a grin: Obviously everyone adores you. While it wouldn't be my first choice, I can't wait to hear you sing that song at sectionals. You're amazing, Mercedes, and you deserve it. I'm going to hug you now. "Finn" is impressed by her magnanimity: I know that was hard for you. "Rachel": It was the right thing to do. I wanted to bring the team together . . .But I want you to be happy Finn. I don't want you to suffer. I have to tell you something. Which leads to "Finn" hitting "Puck" at the next rehearsal. "Quinn" asks: Who told you? "Kurt": Obviously it was Rachel. "Rachel" lies, but looks guilty: What, I didn’t do anything. "Finn": Yeah, it was Rachel. She tears up as "Finn" stalks out and apologizes to "Quinn": I fully understand if you want to beat me up. If you can, just try to avoid my nose. "Quinn": I'm not mad at you. What you did was just what I wasn't brave enough to do – just tell the truth. "Rachel": I was selfish when I told him. I wanted to break you two up. I thought he would want to be with me. "Quinn": And now neither of us have him. As the bus readies to leave for sectionals, "Jacob Ben Israel" (played by Josh Sussman with a big Isro, who in an episode of Bones was called "Afro Geek") volunteers to replace "Finn" – and immediately cuddles up to "Rachel", who pushes him away. She tries to cheer up the choir about drawing 3rd out of 3: My extensive auditioning for community theater has taught me that we either want to go first or last. If we’re first, then everyone has to measure up to us and if we’re last, then we’re the freshest in the judges’ minds. "Kurt": And did you ever get any of those parts? She first tries to cheer up "Mercedes" that her ballad is performed: It's a really popular song. But when even the deaf choir steals another song, she stands up in the middle of the audience and barks to the members: Meeting in the Green Room in 5 minutes! She rallies the troops after the Cheerios admit to spying, but also loving glee: There's no point in us arguing any more. We have to go on in an hour. . .Mercedes do you have anything else in your repertoire? "Mercedes": But it's not as good as anything you're gonna sing. . . .Look Rachel, The truth is you're the best singer we've got. "Kurt": As much as it hurts me to admit it, and it does, she’s right, Rachel’s our star. If anyone is going to go belt it on the fly, it should be her. "Rachel": Well I do have something I've been working on since I was 4. "Finn" comes in to save the day and politely asks "Jacob" if it's cool if he can have his place back. "Jacob": Quite. I was just here because I was hoping to get into Rachel's pants. "Finn" then channels 42nd Street to "Rachel": Don't worry about me. This is all up to you now. You wanted the solo. You wanted the chance to be a star. This is your chance. Don't screw it up. She surprises the audience by entering from the rear of the auditorium with Barbra Streisand's signature star-making song from Funny Girl "Don’t Rain On My Parade", an iconic Jewish woman's song, to her own standing ovation. And about a week later, the actress was nominated for a Golden Globe. (And at the end of the season Emmy nominated.)
In "Hell-O" by Ian Brennan the show choir's arch-nemesis, the cheerleaders' coach "Sue Sylvester" targets her: Rachel is the kind of girl who wants things too badly. And wha she wants is Finn. and she instructs two Cheerios to go after her boyfriend. Skirting the requirements to do a song with "Hello" in the title, "Rachel" angrily sings the All American Rejects' "Gives You Hell" to the conflicted "Finn" in rehearsal. In the show tunes section of a record store, she is approached by "Jesse St. James", the hunky senior at their competing choir Vocal Adrenaline with faint praise for her take on "Don’t Rain On My Parade": You totally lacked Barbra's depth. . .But you have talent., as he flirts with her through Lionel Ritchie's "Hello." The Cheerios snicker at her in front of "Finn": Did you see what she wore? She looked like Pipi Longstocking. But Israeli. When "Finn" complains: You do talk too much and usually about yourself. even as he's trying to make up with her, she retorts confidently about hitching her future to "Jesse": I know who I am! How many chances at this am I going to get? But even as the choir insists she choose between Glee and (the duplitious) "Jesse", "Sue" further manipulates her emotions at a gathering of "The Old Maid's Club".
In "The Power of Madonna", written and directed by Ryan Murphy, "Rachel" tries asking for advice from the popular girls about having sex for the first time: Can I ask you guys something private? "Santana" cuts her off with an odd Jewish reference: Yes, you should move to Israel. The school's virginal counselor says she talk to her mother. "Rachel": But I have two gay dads. The counselor then suggests her rabbi. Rachel: I really don't feel comfortable discussing this with Rabbi Greenberg.
In "Bad Reputation", by Ian Brennan, "Rachel" declares she's going to get down and dirty. . .Rachel Berry is going to get musically promiscuous. First she admits to how her being overly critical of others' "imperfect performances" builds up like a volcano, I just can't help it, and then it just comes bursting out. (not exact quote – I can't read my handwritten notes!) "Puck" helpfully agrees: It does suck when you do that. She: I'm right but it doesn't do much for my reputation. "Puck" at first moves in for a kiss: Jesse will never fully understand what it means to be a Jew. . .Why should I stay if there's no change of us making out? The wheel-chair-bound "Arnie" uses her as a point of reference in a plan to change his reputation: We have to do something more terrifying than Rachel's personality. "Jesse" tells her what he learned about her from asking around: Compulsive need to be right. (I didn't get the full quote here either.)
In "Laryngitis" by Ryan Murphy, "Rachel" does some soul searching when she can't sing:Who am I without my voice? I'm like this spoiled, annoying, only child. "Finn" plotzs at her feeling sorry for herself, but she persists: I'm like Tinkerbell. I need applause to live. This is about as close to self-actualization as she gets when she thanks a quadriplegic: Thank you for showing me that just because I'm not any good at anything other than singing doesn't mean I 'm not any good if I can't sing. And then she offers him singing lessons. "Jesse" strokes "Rachel"s ego in "Dream On" by Brad Falchuk by assuring her that being a star is definitely in her future: It's not a dream – it's an inevitability. While Idina Menzel, probably in response to fans' acclamation, was revealed to be playing her birth mother, it's doubtful that her "Shelby Corcoran" is Jewish.
"Funk" by Ian Brennan continued this series' dual approach to "Rachel" – attacking and supporting her at the same time. Her ex "Jesse" lures her in optimistic slo-mo to the school parking lot, only to be egged by his vegan-taunting compatriots, topped off when he smashes an egg on her head: I loved you. When she broods over the mothers of the little baby chicks coming after me, the frequently taunted "Kurt" gives a mixed message defense of her: Rachel's one of us. We're the only ones who get to humiliate her. "Finn" is more politic: We can't let Vocal Adrenaline turn Rachel into an omelette. Even when they plan musical vengeance, a cheerleader taunts her for keeping "Jesse"s number in her phone.
In "Journey", written and directed by Brad Falchuk, "Rachel" lands the hunk and his declaration of love continues how the series both criticizes and admires her for characteristics that are frequently associated with bright, aggressive Jewish women in popular culture: You're a leader, Rachel. The way you're on everybody is really annoying, but it is very motivational. And she gives him a big kiss there in the school hallway. (updated 8/27/2010)
Ziva David on NCIS in her 5th season (on CBS, out on DVD) Oddly, a cover story in Entertainment Weekly 10/23/2009, by Lynette Rice, about the series' #1 ratings on broadcast first-run this season and in repeats on USA cable channel was called "The World of 'NCIS': Why It Keeps Getting Bigger: 'NCIS' and its little sibling, 'NCIS: Los Angeles,' are conquering the country", but gave no credit for its success to the character of "Ziva", nor the actress playing her. (TV Guide quickly made up for that lack with a light-hearted 11/2-8/2009 cover story with her, "NCIS Takes The Cake" by Chris Willman, that I'll pull quotes when I get a chance.) The Wall Street Journal, in "Deconstructing TV's No. 1 Show 'NCIS' isn't young, hip or edgy, it just has the most viewers", 12/11/2009, by Amy Chozick only referenced the actress and her role as "adding to its international appeal".
While "Ziva" was being tortured in Somalia by a Yale-educated terrorist in the season opener "Truth or Consequences" written by Jesse Stern, her hunky colleague "Tony" is furious that her father the "tight-lipped" Mossad director hasn't let NCIS know about her: The man's got to have some feelings about putting her back in the field!. The tekkies de-code clues on her computer to her location by de-crypting a "Chad Gad Ya" clip, which they oddly identified as "a Hebrew nursery rhyme", though it's mostly in Aramaic and is usually sung at the Passover seder. When "Tony" comes to rescue her, she demurs: I did not ask for anyone to put themselves into harm's way for me. I do not deserve it. , "Tony" ignores the martyrdom implications and instead puts a Christian spin on her sacrifice: What are you doing out here, some sort of monastic experience? Doing penance? "Ziva" persists: It is justified. . . You try to save yourselves. I am ready to die.. . As an inside joke, Israeli star Noa Tishby cameo'd as bespectacled American-accented "DEA Agent Claire Connell" who tried to get her job at NCIS.
The next episode, "Reunion" by Steven D. Binder, dealt more with her daddy issues. She comes to "Gibb"s' house, bringing a thank you gift of a special chisel: When you left me in Israel, I felt betrayed, but I had a long time to think about things – a very, very long time. And you were right to leave me there. . . I had forgotten who I could trust. We were a team and I would like that again. He demurs: You need to talk to The Director. She persists: It is your blessing I came for. . .and he's not the only one I need to talk to. When she does meet with The Director, he challenges her if she's discussed her desire to return to NCIS with her father. She bristles: I am not sure how his opinion is relevant. He persists: We rescued you. Not Mossad. Not your father. She: Have I not been a valuable asset to NCIS? Then what is the problem? He's precise: David, you were never an agent. You were the Mossad liaison officer. That requires you to have a relationship with Mossad. Have you even spoken to your father? She: No. He's stern: You're damanged goods. How damaged I need to know before I can even figure out what to do with you. You pass the psych eval battery and we'll talk. No promises. When "Tony" hears about her meeting, he smirks: No one's ever accused you of having tact.
The Goth tekkie "Abby" is her only woman friend so she can unload a frank tirade on her (and I never got around to transcribing the complexities of her relationship with "Rifkin" the oddly-named Mossad agent, maybe because I never got over that they changed the actor playing him between introducing him in photographs at the beginning of last season and then when he showed up in D.C. at the Sweeps Weeks conclusion.): What the hell is wrong with you? How could you have doubted Tony? After all that you two have been through together? You really think he killed Rifkin because he was jealous? You weren't thinking! That's right – you weren't thinking! . . .I could understand your initial reaction. . .You were in an emotional time for you and people act irrationally. But to tell Gibbs that you didn't trust Tony? I could also understand he did just shoot your boyfriend to death. In your living room. All right, I'll give you that one. But this is Tony we're talking about – all soft and goofy on the outside and 100% rock on the inside and after everything you accused him of, he risked his life to go save you. You shoud be ashamed of yourself! The in hindsight is starting to make a bit more sense. The ball is in your court. It is Tony – 1, and Ziva – zilch. It's your move, and it better be a good one. . .If I wasn't so worried aobut you. . She unveils a big "Welcome Home Ziva" banner. Separatey, "Gibbs" asks the director: What does Eli David think?. . .We need Ziva. Back in the office, she thanks "McGee" [though I can't quite read my handwritten transcription exactly right]: These three months have been a challenge, but that's all in the past, and the past's past. But he gives a blunt retort: So why have you been avoiding Tony? So she confronts "Tony" -- in the men's room: When you shot Michael, I almost killed you where you stood. "Tony": I wasn't standing. "Ziva": No you weren't. You were lying on the ground. Without adequate back-up, completely violating protocol. . .but that does not matter. Just as it does not matter how it worked out for Michael. He: So what does? She: That you had my back that you have always had my back. And that I was wrong to question your motives. He: So why did you? She, very atypically tearing up: I trusted my brother Ari. I trusted Michael. I couldn’t afford to trust you. . . I guess I had a long time to think about things. He apologizes and she gives him a peck on the cheek: Your instincts were right. You're a cop and I should never have faulted your thinking. . . Later she's at "Gibbs" house: We need to talk. . I sensed your hesitation. .I understand what you did in Israel.. He tries to interrupt about her brother Ari, and there's a flashback. She: You know what happened that night. He: I want to hear it from you. You had orders to kill your brother. She confirms. He: That's a problem. She doesn't understand and he's annoyed that she doesn't. She: When I volunteered for that mission. . . He interrupts: You killed your own brother Ziva! She: It was because I hoped my father was wrong about Ari! I did not want some else blindly following orders. I volunteered to protect him. He: You lied to me. She: No, when I told you Ari was innocent I believed it. But yes I would have lied to you. He was my brother and you were nothing. But I was wrong about Ari and about you. I pulled the trigger and saved your life. I was not following orders. He was my brother and now he is gone. Eli is all but dead to me and the closest thing I have to a father is accusing me. . . She weeps. He: OK. So with her "new" father and American identity will she lose her Jewishness?
In "Endgame" by Gary Glasberg, "Tony" disturbingly compared Israel to North Korea when he claimed "Ziva"s Mossad experience was like that of the North Korean operative they were tracking: Both pretty ladies. Both trained assassins. She does sympathize with their prey's background as revealed through her code name: In Hebrew it means the bull, sure, stubborn, that's why she's so good. "Tony" concurs: You should know. . .You're a dangerous woman. Later, "Tony" appears to be jealous of "Ziva"s mild flirtation with a fellow investigator, but she's surprisingly revelatory in her denial: He's a field agent, a nomad. I've had enough of that in my life. I came to NCIS to settle down, to make a home for myself. The last thing I need is [him]. And then she giggles when she thinks "Tony" calling him a Texas longhorn is a sexual entendre, not getting that it's (mostly) a sports reference.
The holiday episode "Faith" by Gary Glasberg had a brief, character-appropriate reference. As "Ziva" closes in on a suspect in a "redthroat" bar, as she calls it, he taunts her: I bet a pretty little thing like you never killed nothing before. and nastily invites her back to his place. She grimly says "Happy Hanukkah" then decks him. Later "Tony" asks her How many languages do you speak? She: Including the language of love? 10. When they are surprised at the true murderer, she's the one who points out that fratricide goes back to Cain and Abel in the Bible.
But in "Flesh and Blood", by Frank Cardea and George Schenck, the process I predicted of "Ziva" being seen less and less as Israeli, let alone Jewish, now that the series is #1 in the ratings as she studies for U.S. citizenship (she teased with her boss about her studies of the U.S. Constitution) continued here where she is guarding a member of the Saudi Royal Family. Suprisingly, only her knowledge of Arabic and her attractiveness are issues. She surreptiously listens in on his heated private conversation with his brother, then reports on what it's like to protect the flyboy playboy: The Prince is a chauvinistic royal pain in the tush!. . .You may have to hire someone to protect him from me! Her boss wryly mutters He's not used to anyone saying that about him. And nothing else about her came up in their close contact?
In "Masquerade", by Steven D. Binder, "Ziva" and "Tony" debate legal issues in combating terrorist tactics (the case is about South Americans), and her view seems to have changed somewhat since her Mossad days and her new citizenship studies. He argues: It's not all black and white when it's splattered with red. She: Or when your way of life is threatened. She points out that her captors in Somalia used similar justications for their actions. . . This country holds itself to a higher standard. It is a nation of laws which are to be followed not only when it is convenient or easy. I have seen first hand what happens when convenience wins out. Tony interjects: He was a terrorist. She chuckles: I'm sure he would say he was just protecting his way of life. . .His actions were indefensible regardless of his reasons. That is my point. "Tony" quietly points out that she never talks about her experiences. She shrugs: What is there to talk about? He persists. She: What [her captor] did was bad enough. Becoming like him would be worse.
In "Jack-Knife", by Jesse Stern, a hunky ex-Marine shows up again to work with her on a case and he grills her how she can be a probationary agent without U.S. citizenship. She charmingly concedes: There are a few strings being tugged. Later when they pose as long-haul truckers, she is flummoxed by all the slang: What language was that? But she is surprisingly sympathetic in helping him work through a PTSD attack as driving their rig echoes his dangerous convoy service in Iraq. When she then stares down a careening truck, he's a bit flabbergasted: And you people think I'm crazy.
"Ziva" isn't completely losing memory of her past as she works toward her American citizenship. On "Mother's Day" by Tony Wharmby, "Tony" gripes about the heat as they are on assignment in Arizona. She remonstrates: Stop complaining! In Israel this feels like winter. "Tony" counters patriotically: We're in the good old US of A. Where like to embrace central air, not melanoma.
In "Patriot Down" by Gary Glasberg, "Ziva" is busy preparing for her naturalization interview, so interestingly her sense of identity is less as an Israeli. "Tony" jokes about visiting the cafeteria of a unit with a murdered member: I mourn, I eat, I'm Italian. and "Ziva" rejoinders: Jews and Italians are similar that way.
The season ended with "Ziva" taking her citizenship oath in "Rule Fifty One" by Jesse Stern. As the episode opened she was excited: "Tony": This can't be happening. It cannot be happening. How could they let you in? "Ziva": I passed the exams. I will officially become a citizen of the United States of America. "Tony": I've never been more disappointed in my government. "Ziva": Hey! That is my government now. "Tony": Not till Friday. "Ziva": You should hear the oath I have to take. I basically have to renounce all my ties to Israel. (So she can't be a dual citizen? Maybe that's an NCIS requirement.) "Tony" stops being sarcastic and reassures: You will still be you. And I'll be there to hear it. But when she is seen with a large group of new citizens, he's off on a special, secret assignment instead. Let's see how ethnic she gets to stay next season. (updated 5/29/2010)
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Susie Greene etc. (on HBO, repeated frequently On Demand again, and in syndication on TV Guide Channel.) (my commentary forthcoming) Disclaimer: I only learned in late 2009 that Emmy-nominated executive producer David Mandel is my second cousin once removed.
Comedienne Susie Essman, while promoting her book What Would Susie Say?, commented on her alter ego in a "At Home" 10/8/2009 The New York Times interview with Joyce Wadler "Yes, She Does Windows": "Ms. Essman took her cue of who Susie Greene was from the ultra-modern home the character had on season one. 'I took one look and said this is a Beverly Hills housewife whose husband is in the business. She gets her hair blown out three times a week, gets every kind of facial. She wears lots of animal prints. Each individual piece is frequently O.K. — it’s the combination that puts it over the top.' . . .As for Susie Greene, Ms. Essman thinks she is misunderstood. 'People think she’s a yelling, angry, crazy woman, when the truth is it’s justified, she’s provoked. . .I love Susie Greene — she is so freeing. I analyze things from every which way. She just reacts without any kind of censor. Everything is an indignity, and she is absolutely sure of herself in every single response. . . All those doubts held me back for years: I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, is this the right dress to wear? Susie Greene thinks she is drop-dead gorgeous and everything she chooses to put on is drop-dead gorgeous. Imagine being like that.''”
In an interview with TV Guide 6/7/2010, Larry David was asked by David Kronke in "One Cranky Summer": "Having watched Susie incessantly insult you on Curb, it's a little odd to see her defend you so often during The Discussion [panel discussions she hosts after the reruns on their channel]: "She's my friend and a very intelligent actress. So I'm glad she's defending me. Naturally, I feel like a lot of my actions are defensible, so they should be defended by someone." If I were an obsessively diligent analyst, I'd check those discussions for further explications of hers and the other Jewish women characters. (updated 8/8/2010)
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold and others in the 6th season (on HBO) (commentary forthcoming)
Dina Malinsky, Joan Rivers and others in the 2nd season on Z Rock (on IFC. Out on DVD) (commentary forthcoming)
2008/9 Season
Though I haven’t read the Gossip Girl books by Cecily Von Ziegesar to know if they have Jewish characters, even the producer conceded at a March 2008 Paley Television Festival panel how ridiculous it is that there are no Jews on The CW’s Manhattan-based TV version: "The only question we get more than 'Where are the gays?' is 'Where are the Jews?'" Josh Schwartz said, before immediately hitting on "Gay Jewish Monkey!" as a solution. So I suppose the Jewish wedding of Wallace Shawn as "Cyrus Rose" to one of the mothers in the middle of the 2nd season was supposed to make up for that. That pairing produced the first Jewish woman in the series, getting one line in "Seder Anything" by Amanda Lesher. Of course, it was his stereotypical mother "Ida" (played by Marilyn Barnard), who disapproved of the marriage and her family interrupting the reading of the Haggadah, which her new daughter-in-law confused with Hadassah. A putative Jewish female popped up in “New Haven Can Wait” by Joshua Safran and Alexandra McNally, at a not-very-credible Dean’s reception for Yale applicants. In response to the Dean’s Latin-named “Quiz” about who living or dead, real or imaginary, they would most like to have dinner with, an enthusiastically geeky “Ms. Steinberg” (played by Molly Camp), undoubtedly named in honor of series producer K.J. Steinberg, selected Artemis the goddess of the fruit and the hills. As a freegan, I believe in all living things being equal to all people. . . also screw ‘the man’ at the same time. (updated 5/1/2009)
In the second season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, the cyborg “Cameron” (Summer Glau), who has inputted the Bible, gave uber-mom “Sarah Connor” (Lena Headey) an unusual exegesis of the rape of Dina (she pronounces it with a long “i”) in the “Brothers of Nablus” episode by Ian Goldberg, starting with the titular nomenclature for the tribe who Jacob’s revengeful sons brutally punished, a strategy for deception the cyborg finds educational. There was also an odd reference in the season premiere of HBO's Big Love, "Block Party" by Mark V. Olsen & Will Scheffer. "LaDonna Flute" (played, ironically by Israeli actress Noa Tishby) is the tribal lawyer for her husband's casino negotiations. Saying she spent time on a kibbutz, she asks the polygamists if they're like the meshugana guy on trial and what the Book of Mormon says about "dark-skinned people." Nip/Tuck had an atypically nasty stereotype that it had avoided in the previous five seasons when writer Jennifer Salt incorporated unusually unconventional looks at Jewish women and plastic surgery. But in "Allegra Caldarello" by Sean Jablonski, "Dr. Christian Troy" looks forward to giving up his practice due to what he thinks is his imminent death: No more rhinoplasties on self-hating Jewesses. (updated 3/9/2009)
Hawthorne in the first season finale "Hello and Goodbye", written by Sarah Thorp, Anna C. Miller and executive producer John Masius, stuck in its first woman with a putative Jewish name-- a brunette, bespectacled cancer researcher "Dr. Cohen" (played by Kitty Swink). That's more in this Richmond, VA set hospital than in Miami Medical, among other medical series. (6/2/2010)
I had been trying to figure out if Maggie Siff was again playing a Jewish woman character as “Tara Knowles”, the ex-girlfriend/now doctor of the hunky young motorcycle gang leader in FX’s Sons of Anarchy, what with “Agent Scott Kohn” stalking her, though towards the end of the season she mysteriously claimed to be half-Irish (in “Hell Followed” by Brett Conrad). In “Fun Town” by Kurt Sutter, the head of the rival, Aryan gang sneers about the Jewish doctors at the hospital to the Lady Macbeth-like matriarch “Gemma Teller-Morrow” (played by Katey Sagal) and her own questionable heritage. She drily concurs that there’s some of “that mixed in on the Russian side”. Gee, those Jewish peddlers really got around to land in such a desolate Western town. (10/31/2008)
Then there was an exchange I’ve been curious would come up since Numb3rs began with its Jewish brothers and dad. In the 5th season’s “Conspiracy Theory”, by Robert David Port, Rob Morrow, as “Don Eppes”, complains to his father (Judd Hirsch) that the prosecutor girlfriend he’s been getting serious about mocked that he’s been seeing “first a shrink, then a rabbi, all in one year”: It’s not like I asked her to convert. Dad praises differences to keep a relationship strong, but this is one of the few times in years I’ve even heard a Jewish male character refer to this option on a TV show. The girlfriend finds a sweet olive branch – she got them tickets to a debate about ethics with his rabbi at a local synagogue. (12/8/2008)
Jewish heritage was also oddly brought up in NBC’s My Own Worst Enemy, “High Crimes and Turducken” episode by Mark Rosner. As the lead character is struggling with his own dual identity, his father-in-law walks into Thanksgiving for a big announcement. . .I’m Jewish! I hired a researcher to find my birth mother. She was Doris Silverman, a 19-year-old Jewish girl from Detroit. While his daughter comments: I think he’s enjoying it because he knows it would kill Mom., he reflects that It’s not that I have anything against the Jews, they’re the chosen people. It’s that I think I belong somewhere. That I’m connected in this world.
In Desperate Housewives, with mother “Bree Hodge” (Marcia Cross) sarcastically complimenting rebellious daughter “Danielle Van De Kamp” (Joy Lauren) on being “dressed so ethnically” in peasant blouse and skirt, were we supposed to think that she had converted to Judaism, in the “Kids Ain't Like Everybody Else” episode by Joe Keenan, because she’s married environmental lawyer “Leo Katz” (Andrew Leeds) and announced on her first visit home after three years of negotiations that her five-year-old son “Benjamin” would be bar mitzvahed? (10/13/2008)
As usual, Jewish names are assigned to girls and women to be punch lines in a joke. The first episode of the revived 90210, “We're Not in Kansas Anymore” attributed to writers Rob Thomas, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah and Darren Star, made a point of having the officious student reading the TV news to the school be pretentiously named “Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez” (played by Hallee Hirsh). The TV.com synopsis described her as a look-alike for actress Gabrielle Carteris who is presumed to be the daughter of the former editor of the school paper Blaze “Andrea Zuckerman”, a regular from the original 1990 – 2000 Beverly Hills series who for years was the only young Jewish female character I knew also played by a Jewish actress, though I only watched it occasionally. Too bad the hunky teacher disparages her by implying she has already become her mother: Hannah looks 30 years old. (She’s listed as recurring in the 2nd episode “The Jet Set” but I didn’t notice her there). (updated 10/24/2008)
I presume that most viewers assumed that the patient "Barbara Feingold" in the "Love is a Battlefield" episode of the last season of E.R. by Karen Maser was Jewish, because she was the on again/off again wife of Bronx-accented Garry Marshall as "Harry". But she was played by Debra Mooney who usually plays gentile grandmothers and there were zero Jewish references. (updated 1/27/2009)
Even in the second season of Showtime's Californication I still wasn't sure that “Marcy Runkle” (played by Pamela Adlon, née Segall ) is more than just a putative Jewish woman, even as I tried to stay awake through the boring, frequent omni-sex and coke scenes for clues-- the passing reference to her having gone to NYU wasn’t determinative. (updated 11/22/2008)
I don't watch any of CBS's C.S.I.s regularly, but the Jewish women references in "19 Down. . . (Part 1)", by producers Carol Mendelsohn and Naren Shankar, may have been a new manipulative low in crime shows. First, I just thought it was ironic that the only young, attractive Jewish couple I'd seen on TV in years were the blonde victims, "Joel Steiner" and his fiancée "Tiffany Cohen", who we never even got to see alive on their way to a Pearl Jam concert. The guy was ID'd by the only lead about his death, his Star of David pendant, that his mom (played by Caroline Aaron, who frequently plays Jewish mothers, notably recently in Love Comes Lately) tearfully described as her bar mitzvah gift to him, and that he then had a copy made for his fiancée. But this was really building up to comments by their jailed murderer, who explained to a forensics class via web cam how easy killing is like taking a nice Jewish girl on vacation. . then l'chaim. He's questioned: No one tried to escape or fight back? The killer: Tiffany fought a little. At first. Another questioner: How did you control them? Then, here it comes, a tortured Holocaust connection: Not with force. I'm going to go back to the Jewish theme here, doctor, though I want you to know that I've had Catholics, Protestants, and one atheist. By the way, they all prayed eventually. Anyway, during the Holocaust, when the first arrivals at the death camps realized they were going to be killed, they flew into a panic. So the guards, the Nazis, started telling them that they were going to be put to work and their skills were going to be used. And they all calmed down to go obediently into the showers. So if you bring a human being to the brink of death and then you offer a chance to survive, they'll grab it and they'll thank you for it. And then you can do whatever you want. And believe me I did. "Mrs. Steiner" then crashes the class screaming Where is my son! After she's removed, the killer coolly comments: When Mrs. Steiner had her moment, it got me thinking how much I miss being out in the world. The Jewish reference was gone from the concluding Part 2 until the crime was solved and "Tiffany" was remembered by her star necklace (after a bit of torture porn tape replay of her serial killer). Aaron popped up later in the season as a putatively Jewish woman in Mr. Monk and the Magician as "Aunt Sheila Dorfman". At her murdered nephew's wake, she goes on about having just come back from a tour of Italy with her mah jong group, proving, "Mr. Monk" comments: Apparently it's heredity. . . The man would not shut up! His assistant "Natalie" rejoins: A dominant trait. (updated 2/21/2009)
Diamonds, written by David Vainola, inspired by the non-fiction book Diamond: A Journey to the Heart of an Obsession by Matthew Hart and shown in the U.S. on ABC as a two-part mini-series, had an atypical angle on Jewish dominance of the diamond business. "Maya Winfield" (played by blonde Angelique Pretorius as a total airhead) is her South African diamond-dealing daddy "Moishe"s "most prized possession" and he promises her a special diamond for her engagement to a scion of a competing, also Jewish-owned company, even as he complains about the big wedding she wants. And she gets the ring, the wedding and the groom. (9/14/2009)
While I haven't gotten around yet to watching the Lifetime Movie of the Week take on the December Dilemma Will You Marry Me?, Loving Leah, the 235th Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation, was a surprisingly sweet Jewish love story, fancifully using Levirate marriage as a premise for romance, parallel to the many pioneer or arranged marriages of convenience in other Hallmark movies, like the adaptation of The Magic of Ordinary Days. Avoiding the usual stereotypes, writer P’Nenah Goldstein, for the press notes, described how she adapted her play: "I’d describe the stage version of Loving Leah as broad comedy with touching moments. On the screen, I’d say it’s a drama, with comic undertones. The reason for the difference? In television, it’s very hard to play comedy because you have no laugh track. In the theater, the audience provides an audible laugh track, and those laughs are – you hope – infectious. But in television – unless you’re filming a sitcom with a studio audience – it doesn’t work that way. So I pulled back on the broad comedy and played up the drama. It’s interesting, though – that approach only works because we’ve got a top-notch cast. They’re able to strike comedic notes effortlessly, and that’s so important."
Lauren Ambrose as "Leah Lever" gave real life to a widowed Hasidic woman blooming after first marrying at 18 – not just because the character was already reaching outside the community by wanting to go to a secular college and going to see old movies at revival theaters, but because she retains her observance and finds accommodation with a modern life (she abandons her wig and gender segregation, but still dresses modestly, keeps kosher and shomrei Shabbat). When her mom is taken aback by her transformation, she defends herself: It's still me! Guided by a woman rabbi at what is only identified as a "Reform Temple" (Ricki Lake as "Rabbi Gerry Schwartz", who also is a producer on the film) in the neighborhood, she neither deserts her observance nor retreats into it, and inspires her brother-in-law/2nd husband, the secular Prince Charming doctor Jake (Adam Kaufman) to renew his faith (by the end he's also touching the mezuzah she's put up by the door and joining her at Shabbat dinner). (At least here's the rare fiction where a handsome Jewish professional gives up the beautiful blonde shiksa girlfriend; in real life he's parenting with Without A Trace's Poppy Montgomery.) She similarly defends her independence to him when he tries to restrict her: You're not responsible for me! He concedes: You're kind of sassy. You got spunk, kid. (I think he was doing The Mary Tyler Moore Show reference to match her old movie fandom – she feels guilty that she was off seeing The Way We Were when her 1st husband/his brother "Ben" died suddenly and she compares their platonic marriage to the sleeping arrangements in It Happened One Night.) He then helps her study for the math SAT and teaches her to swim, though his guilt over his brother that briefly tears them apart would have been more credible if we saw more than just a few kisses.
Bewigged Susie Essman was more toned down than usual -- though she managed to offend Lubavitchers with a throw-away joke she made in promoting the movie on The View. According to Ben Harris in JTA's "Essman irks Chabad with TV comments" on 1/27/2009: "Essman commented on the appearance of female members of the Chasidic group. 'I learned that they're not very good dressers,' Essman said, describing what she discovered in making the film. 'The wigs, you know they wear the wig because God forbid a man should see your hair and be driven wild with desire.' Sara Esther Crispe, the editor of the Chabad Web site TheJewishWoman.org, said her community was buzzing about the segment and that she was hoping to go on The View to rebut Essman's comments, which she said were not only 'obviously incorrect' but degrading and insulting to all women. 'To reduce any woman to her mere physicality is insulting, it's degrading, and it completely denies the overall power that a woman has and her unique abilities. And I thought it was very sad that nobody stood up for that.'” Her "Malka" is a critical Jewish mother as "Leah" warns her husband: She can make my life a living hell. She's a professional. The author describes the character: "She represents probably every Jewish mother since biblical times, including many I’ve known myself." Essman, in the press notes, described her character: "I know who this woman is. I’ve known many Malkas in my life. She reminds me a little bit of my grandmother, who was my favorite person in the whole world. Malka’s tough, but loving. Nothing’s more important to her than her children. She loves her girls, and will sacrifice anything and everything for her daughters’ happiness. One of the lines in the script that really got to me is when Malka tells Leah to go back to Jake, because she wants her to be happy. A mother is only as happy as her saddest child. I wept when I read that line." Mercedes Ruehl as the mother-in-law "Janice" is also not a stereotype as a secular mother with no domestic skills, who knows her Hasidic in-laws looked down on her as Reform; she tries not to offend them and is willing to learn about the customs, but even she is surprised by her daughter-in-law: What happened to the Brooklyn you? "Leah" is very comfortable with her: I'm still here, just with some modifications. Both mothers help the way too G-rated romance win out. Natasha Lyonne as her pregnant with children sister "Esther" put on the Brooklyn accent a bit heavy, but she did attend Yeshiva High School in Manhattan so probably had some authentic inspiration, and was a bit of comic relief. (updated 1/30/2009)
Hallmark Hall of Fame also featured more typical TV images of Jewish women, as Holocaust victims in The Courageous Heart Of Irena Sendler. I'll get around to viewing it and commenting on it at some point.) (updated 5/14/2009)
Shirley Jones was putative Jewish mother "Lola Zellman" in the "Does Everybody Have a Drink?", written by Angelina Burnett and David Hollander, episode of A & E's addiction drama The Cleaner, garnering press attention, and an Emmy nomination, in her only TV appearance of the year for playing a lush nightclub singer who drunkenly flashes her breasts. Only her also alcoholic husband of 37 years, "Bernie" (played by Steve Landsberg) and her "nice Jewish boy" son "Michael" (played by Noah Bean) are actually identified as Jewish, though she does sing "Hava Nagilah" in their lounge act and makes nasty, racist comments about and to her son's Latina fiancée. She reminisces dating Rock Hudson and dancing at the Copacabana, but she's getting the DT's and jaundice. Their behavior drives their son to drink, as he crashes their performance: Everybody raise a glass to the worst goddamn parents a kid could have!. She breaks down after her husband refuses to enter rehab: Bernie's sent me away. I don't know where to go now!. . .I don't remember the last time I did something on my own! And The Cleaner leads her to son's door for reconciliation. (updated 7/8/2010)
Lynn Cohen was feisty and loving old Jewish wife "Mrs. Zimberg" in the "Chicken Soup" episode of Nurse Jackie, written by Mark Hudis. Her husband, played by Eli Wallach (Emmy nominated for this appearance), tells the nurse he doesn't want his wife ("My childhood sweetheart!") to know how ill he is and refuses another bypass, as he keeps insisting that her chicken soup will help him best. His wife concurs: He's had enough. Trust us. . . .They don't call chicken soup Jewish Penicillin for nothing. . .It's all about faith . . It's a cure-all . . .Back in ancient times, a Jewish mystic blessed the first pot, and to this day there's a little magic in every pot. True or not, it's a nice story. The husband boast: It's kept me alive two years longer than any doctor predicted. It's all I need. As they complete each other's sentences, his wife points out: The doctor that told Bernie he had less than six months to live, he's dead. Husband: Hit by a bus. Wife: Crosstown M14. Husband: They're nice buses, if you have to get hit by a bus. Wife: You could do worse. After he dies, "Jackie" comforts that the soup eased his suffering. The wife explains: That's all I ever wanted. I knew he was dying. We've been married for 100 years. How could I not know he was dying. The wife smilingly uses Yiddish (probably "Gai kakhen afen yam") against the annoying nursing supervisor who had wanted to discharge him, which she translates as meaning go shit in the ocean. (updated 7/8/2010)
In Plain Sight gave an odd twist in "Aguna Matatala", written by David Slack, in sympathetically taking the man's point of view for refusing to give a "get" to allow his wife to divorce. (My commentary forthcoming.) (9/14/2009)
Eli Stone, in "Sonoma" by Brett Mahoney and Alex Taub, had a Jewish woman character who is becoming familiar on TV, the descendant of Holocaust victims claiming a work of art. (My commentary forthcoming.) (9/14/2009)
As the season drew to a close, actress Mayim Bialik, teen star from TV's early '90's Blossom, made something of a career comeback, after finishing her PhD and having two kids, in fiction and "reality", in Saving Grace and TLC's American version of a BBC "make-over" series. My commentary forthcoming on how she held her own against the fashionistas' criticisms, as she specifically put the experience in Jewish terms in an interview with Celebrity Baby Blog posted 5/28/2009: "But they really taught me to emphasize the best parts of body and show off what I’m comfortable showing off. I’m a pretty modest dresser. I don’t wear pants, or like them; I’m a Jewish woman who’s made the decision to wear skirts, so I wear mostly skirts past the knee. I don’t like to go sleeveless – they had me in a sleeveless dress as one of the outfits on What Not to Wear, and I said on air, 'I’m really not comfortable showing this much skin.' So it’s really just a preference. They were willing to be flexible – if they showed me a mannequin wearing pants, they said I could also swap them for a skirt. I had an audition for Saving Grace as a Hasidic Jew, and had one long skirt still hanging in the closet that didn’t make it to the show, and I wore the long skirt and booked the part! I just filmed it last week. I emailed Stacy and Clinton and said, “Ha ha, you made me over so I could play a Hasidic woman!'” In that episode, "Mooooo", by Elle Johnson and Annie Brunner, used Grace's Oklahoma setting to play on last year's scandal at kosher slaughterhouse/meat-packers Agriprocessors in Iowa. She played the Orthodox "Esther Weinstein", the modestly dressed daughter of the murder victim, a meat inspector who died trying to prevent use of unfit animals. [My long-lived namesake Great Uncle Leo was similarly a veterinarian in the Chicago stockyards, pre-The Jungle.] As the only one in the community who will help the detectives, she guides them through the rules for Shabbat, kasruth and other observances so they can investigate, as the only Jew they even know is the coroner. Her father's prayer book that she pleads with them to find turns out to be a major clue. Owning up to a tattoo, she explains she's comfortable with outsiders because I left when I turned 18. I came back when I turned 22. . . I have a husband and seven kids. The men can keep their businesses and careers. The women build the future. We raise the children. (9/13/2009)
David Mamet, creator of The Unit, stuck in a Jewish woman in "The Last Nazi", a disjointed episode he wrote. The guys go off-duty to help the president do a favor for a major campaign donor of bringing in the Nazi doctor who killed his family and has been working incognito in Switzerland. Just as they are hustling him off to The Hague, presumably to the International Criminal Court, a young woman (played by Natalie Avital) with a prominent Jewish star necklace shoots him point blank in the street, then, before getting away with murder, lays on his body a black and white photo – her family? The donor's? Who the heck is she? I only caught the episode in repeat syndication so maybe there was some other context I missed. (5/15/2010)
Valerie returned to the 5th season of Rescue Me (on FX), perhaps satirically playing on Gina Gershon's sexy image by having her play even more dress-up, role-playing sex games with "Tommy", including as a librarian, in "Baptism" by Evan Reilly, but their relationship is foundering about the dog. Next, in "Frank" by series creators Denis Leary and Peter Tolan, "Tommy" wanted her to put on a French accent and interview him, like the sexy French journalist doing a 10th anniversary follow-up of the impact of 9/11. When she (literally) sniffs out the reason for this charade, in "Wine" by Tolan and Leary, she kicks him out, and presumably leaves the series.(updated 4/22/2009)
Being Erica – Erica Strange (a 2008 import from the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. on SoapNet) Played by Erin Karpluk, she is a 32-year-old Torontonian "too bright for the job" with a "great education and great friends", as described in the first episode "Dr. Tom", by creator Jane Sinyor. There's a hint she's Jewish from the list of major regrets in her life that she compiles for the titular mysterious new therapist: "Yom Kippur 1998 (Nazi)". After he time travels her to reconcile her past and present, her dad somehow becomes more religious, sporting an "I'm with Moses" T-shirt and a kippah. There's more hints in "What I Am Is What I Am" by Aaron Martin, when she is sarcastically described as "daughter of an insurance agent, granddaughter of a bricklayer" who has a Masters in English Literature. She misses Montreal bagels and takes a job with her "Uncle Ruby"s bridal company, who reminisces: I used to dress your mom up in your bubbe's lace curtains when I was six. Mother issues were hinted at in "The Secret of Now" by James Hurst. The magic shrink comments: Sounds like anyone you know who can get under your skin that you lose the power of speech? She retorts: My mother? (updated 4/13/2009)
The Starter Wife started out near the end of the previous year in Lifetime TV’s silly yet inexplicably Emmy-nommed romantic Hollywood satire 6-episode mini-series (available on DVD) with an ambiguously possibly Jewish woman as the spouse fired on the phone by her studio exec husband. Gigi Levangie’s novel emphasizes that the couple is not Jewish, but while the TV version, adapted by Sara Parriott and Josann McGibbon, never explicitly identified her as Jewish, it starred Debra Messing, notable as a Jewish actress who played a Jewish woman on the sit com Will and Grace (confusingly the wife and her gay friend are known as Will and Gracie in the book), and the husband “Kenny Kagan” was played by Peter Jacobson with his obvious usual Jewishkeit. Interestingly, in an interview with Felicia R. Lee of The New York Times, on 10/9/2008, in Debra Messing’s ‘Starter’ Role Has Staying Power, she noted: “I’m still not the obvious choice for anything, really. I’m not beautiful enough to be, you know, a leading lady in the conventional term. It’s about what has always been the standard, and I don’t look like the standard. I’ve got the flat chest. I’m more ethnic-looking than most people.”
When it was extended into a weekly series this year (lasting only the single season, available on DVD), not only had the ex-husband gotten more attractive and more ambiguously Jewish as re-cast in David Alan Basche, in the 5th episode, “Das Booty Call” by Tod Himmel, “Molly” made a startling announcement, based on zero previous evidence, to her new lover: I know what I said about animal lust, but I lied. I never got the booty call gene. I’m just a nice Jewish girl from Detroit.. And if I’m going to call for an appointment, it’s to get my teeth cleaned or my car tuned and not to have fabulous voracious sex with a man I hardly know. . .Who am I kidding?. . It’s not enough. I want to do dinner and movies and Santa Barbara and go hiking or walking, or more walking. And I know that’s not what you’re looking for, so I think we should go snip snip before I get too attached. So good-bye. And of course “Zach” (Hart Bochner) responds: I’m in. Are you going to make me take you out three times before we have fabulous and voracious sex again? This after her Best Friend Forever (played by the inestimable Judy Davis) warned her she wouldn’t be able to do a booty call: You’re not cold and hard inside. “Molly” concludes the episode writing in her diary: Sometimes sweet is way better than voracious. There’s been series before that suddenly announced a character was Jewish, but usually just as an excuse for a plot point and is quickly forgotten. I’m so unconvinced, that I only noted her references to being Jewish. (updated 3/9/2009)
Lisa Cuddy on House, M.D.
I have followed the character portrayals of actress Lisa Edelstein, who the audience clearly identifies as Jewish whatever role she plays. From New York Daily News Extras on the House by David Bianculli, 12/7/2005: "Another House Extra had to do with House (Hugh Laurie) and his teasing banter with his boss, Lisa Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein), whom he jokingly claimed was rumored to be a transsexual. 'She played a transsexual on Ally McBeal, noted Nora Lee Mandel of Forest Hills, N.Y., adding the year (2000) and the character's name (Cindy McCauliff)." (She also insisted in the "Forever" episode that she is in fact a woman.) Ileane Rudolph asked her in the June 26, 2006 TV Guide about her cartoon voice-overs: "A: For an American Dad next season I play a crazed woman from JDate. . . Q: Once you became an actress, did you consider changing your name? A: It's not very glamorous, and I lost out in the past because it was too 'ethnic'. But most of my parents' families were killed in the Holocaust, and it would be denying my family line. It didn't stop me. I have a great career. . . I'm off to Paris and Israel for a vacation with my family." Unlike many of the show’s fans, I was not completely convinced that she is playing one of her usually explicitly Jewish women on House, M.D. though the titular misanthrope cracked to her in the first episode of the 2nd season: What's with the male secretary? Jdate not working for you?, and at least one fan claims to have glimpsed a menorah at her home, but I didn’t notice, so I didn't add her character here.
So it was that much more intriguing when her character in the 5th season finally came out – as a Jew. But I'll only comment here on her growing self-identification. In "Unfaithful" by David Hoselton, one of the season's most watched episodes, "Dr. Cuddy" is drawn to observances because she has adopted a baby girl. She invites "Dr. House": You doing anything this Friday? I thought you might be available for Rachel's simcha bat.. . "House" buts in: Jewish baby-naming ceremony. Time honored traditional dating all the way back to the 1960's. (though many online fans thought it's a baby shower). "Cuddy" persists: My house at 7. It'll just be the rabbi, a few friends and family. "House" sneers: Nothing like welcoming a new baby into the world with a completely naked display of hypocrisy. and goes on about "religious hokum". Later, she pleads with "Dr. Wilson" to keep "House" away: How do I keep House from ruining my precious display of religious hypocrisy? She later continues the debate with "House": There's nothing hypocritical about recognizing your heritage. "House": Are you keeping kosher now? Wearing four-cornered garments? Slaughtering heifers to the God Ra? Wait – is that one of your people's? Or Option C – you're a liar and a hypocrite! She stands her ground with him: For better or worse, you are a part of my life. It's a sincere invitation. I want you to come. He concedes: I wouldn't miss it for the world. She: I'm glad. But later when he again sneers: I detect a stink of leftover faith., she flares back: You were right. I don't want you there. It's a special occasion filled with love and acceptance and the last thing I need is someone there who is filled with loathing and contempt.. He quietly agrees. But he then persists with "Wilson": Your attendance is validating her hypocrisy. If she invited you to a ceremonial lynching would you go? "Wilson" shrugs: Everybody's a hypocrite. Why are you so obsessed with Cuddy's particular brand? You're the hypocrite! You want to go! You don't resent this baby – you want to be a part of it! If you want to go, go. Act like a human being. (interesting that the script writer didn't have him say mensch.) "House" and "Cuddy" are leaving for the evening, looking out at the snow, and she waits for him to say he'll be coming. Instead, he comments: Bad weather. Maybe you'll get lucky and your sister will decide the roads are too dangerous to drive on. She smiles: Fingers crossed. But when friends (with even the blond Aussie wearing a yarmulke) and relatives arrive that night, she's visibly disappointed he's not at the door, as he is seen instead at home piano riffing from "Sunrise Sunset" into the Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want" as part of "Cuddy's Serenade", which some fans thought had klezmer touches, that Hugh Laurie himself wrote for the episode.
Perhaps not coincidentally, this is also the first season we're hearing more from "Rachel" (played by Jennifer Crystal Foley, daughter of Billy Crystal), the putatively Jewish wife of "Dr. Chris Taub" (played by Peter Jacobson) who has mostly been a poster girl for forgiveness after adultery (such that she even saved up money in a secret account to buy him a car earlier in the season, in "Adverse Events" by Carol Green and Dustin Paddock. No wonder he called her "amazing".) In "The Greater Good" by Sara Hess, "Dr. Taub" hesitantly asks his wife if she thought they should have kids. Her quick answer: On our third date I told you I didn't want to have kids and you told me you were okay with that. . .This is not a whim for me. It's not a decision that I made lightly. I like our life. as she snuggles with him and turns the TV back on. She wakes alone to find him sleepless in a chair and asks: Do you think you can't be happy without a kid? He: I know I can't be happy without you. She comes out of bed to cuddle with him. (updated 2/21/2009)
Dina Malinsky, Joan Rivers and others on Z Rock (on IFC, available on iTunes for download, on DVD) I missed the first couple of episodes of this somewhat improvised, fiction-within-a-reality-situation about Z02, a Brooklyn rock band (2/3 are Jewish brothers), whose day job is kids’ parties as the Z Brothers, so I wasn’t sure if “Dina” (played by stand-up comic Lynne Koplitz as a blonde) was supposed to be Jewish until guest star Joan Rivers, being very Jewish, returned as her aunt in the 5th episode, after being featured in the opening episode (which I have managed to miss on every repeat, and I didn't watch Rivers on Celebrity Apprentice or her roast on Comedy Central). (In an interview on Vin Scelsa Idiot's Delight 12/6/2008 on WFUV, Koplitz talked in veiled terms about her affinity with the character – that it was the first time where they didn't want her to change her voice or loudness-- what some would infer as her Jewishness, as she also suggested downloading the episodes as a gift for every night of Hanukkah.) So “Dina” knew what she was talking about in the third episode when she asked to have her Manishewitz with vodka at the brit the Brothers were playing at. The character’s official bio is: “The manager of Z02 and the Z Brothers, Dina is a reformed rock n’ roll rebel with a dark past and a killer rolodex. She finds opportunities for the guys in every situation and will stop at nothing to see them reach success.” This makes her sound hard-edged, but she reminds me more of a potty-mouthed version of "Yola" the sweetly trying harder manager on The Chris Isaak Show. Like when she threatens the father of the newborn about the guest star, she has a distasteful past with from college: We had a deal. I was never going to tell Jennifer about the hooker in Vegas and you were going to keep John Popper far away from me. “Dina” has some reluctance regardless how far she goes each week—blackmail, sex acts, electrolysis, humiliations—to salve male and female egos as she tries to be as aggressive as possible on behalf of her clients, so somehow she’s always charmingly funny and appealing.
In the fifth episode, “Dina” negotiates with Joan to get her to consider using the band on the pilot of a new late night show. “Dina”: I’ll do anything you want! Joan: Anything? Will you do what I asked you to do at seder? “Dina”, reluctantly: Call my mother a whore? Joan: You know how angry that would make your Aunt Sadie? After the questions or before? “Dina”: I can make it the 5th question. Joan: You would say ‘Why is your mother different from the rest of us?’ and you would say? “Dina”: Because she’s a whore. Joan: You’re such a good girl! “Dina”: So will you give the band a second chance? Later, Joan tries to inspire the band with a story about going on stage despite boos and discouragement, and that her own mother begged Johnny Carson for her 2nd chance. “Dina”s so impressed she asks if it was true: Well, my mother had to go down on him. (Joan tells the real story of Carson’s crucial mentorship in the documentary about Jewish women comediennes Making Trouble.) But Joan being there does impress the jazz impresario to let them back on stage, which gets them back their regular Brooklyn gig.
In the 7th episode, “Dina” refers in passing a couple of times to her wild rock ‘n’ pass, from letting slip that she was once in Rick James’s infamous basement to her writing a song with another famous R & B icon: Every time I hear a certain Lionel Richie song my stomach still turns. I can’t say it legally, but let’s just say that prick owes me royalties. Later when she’s slugging a bottle of beer with the boys back at Southpaw in Brooklyn, she gets reflective: I’ve been screwed over at least a million times in this business. But that’s OK – I’ve screwed over at least 2 million schmucks in my day. She also claims to hand down family advice from Nana: She used to say the only way to get over one girl is to get under another. My nana was kinda a whore and little dykey.
In the eighth episode, Joan Rivers is back and giving the band a break to open for her at a casino. She reminisces about her wild days in the ‘50’s in casinos and D.C. (with Ike wearing only the top of his uniform), confusing “Dina”: I love you Aunt Joan, but I never know if you’re joking, or lying, or are a bit of a whore. Joan protests: Wait a minute—I’m not a whore! They have a frank, colorful discussion that I’m not sure ever came up on Sex and the City, discussing their preferences for different styles of penises -- uncircumcised (Dina, which is certainly a new way for a Jewish woman on TV to declare she won’t date Jewish guys) vs. circumcised (Joan- particularly that of rocker David Lee Roth). Right after “Dina” treats herself to a massage “for being the super-manager that I am”, everything goes wrong and Joan angrily takes back her offer to “Dina” for the band to be regulars on her talk show: How could you do this to me? You know that family means everything to me – you are no longer my family! At Passover next year, you will not be breaking matzo with me! “Dina” turns on the irresponsible band members: You got me disowned! Do you know how to make matzo? Then there’s a flashback to where Joan was during all the chaos – coming out of Roth’s dressing room and spitting into a hanky.
In the penultimate episode, “Dina” is now a wreck without “Aunt Joan”s support: Unfortunately, she’s not on my side any more. She’s cut me off and she’s not returning any of my calls any more. Getting her kicked out of a casino got her a bit angry. The band mates are shocked to see her cry, even as she insists it’s really allergies and claims I’m looking forward to [living in] the storage unit. Drinking and weeping in a bar, she watches QVC so she can see “Joan” pitching her jewelry and gets through to her on the air, but “Aunt Joan” is furious: You’re calling for money aren’t you Dina? I haven’t got any more money to put in your stupid band! . . Do you want a watch? How about a green one? Green for money! . . You ruined me in the casino and now you’re going to ruin me here at QVC! “Dina” weepily protests: But we’re family! “Joan” retorts: A family sometimes has to kill to survive. . .You’re all about money aren’t you? Don’t you come to my house for Passover! Don’t you dare come to my house for Passover! Do you understand? “Dina” politely thanks the bartender for putting on QVC instead of sports before she staggers off, crying that she used to manage a band and flourishes their CD. Meanwhile, the band is in the process of making the ultimate sacrifice for her – give up their rock ‘n’ roll dreams to just be kiddie entertainers under contract to John Popper. Appalled, she makes a last ditch effort to get them a record contract, and is attacked by the music executive for her aggressiveness: I will take Mace in the face for my band! Her weeping touches him and he agrees to listen to the CD: I love them, almost as much as I hate John Popper.. On a wild cab ride to the band’s rescue in Brooklyn, she lets forth with a stream of teary profanity against red lights, the driver and pedestrians—but she’s too late.
In the finale, money is an issue between “Dina” and her Aunt Joan. While Joan is walking her dog, “Dina” returns the money she borrowed and explains the boys’ kiddie music contract. Her aunt shrewdly notes: You’re $50 short. “Dina” protests: I had to take a cab. Joan persists: Family is family, but interest counts. Don’t tell the boys I took the money back – I want them to think I’m generous.. . You can buy me a dog. And the exchange dog poo jokes. “Dina” is so upset that she announces to her clients You’ve sacrificed so much for me, now I’m going to sacrifice for you. To the camera she announces: There are so many pressures in this business, the key is to always keep your self-respect. She storms in on Popper, strips and offers herself up to him in exchange for ripping up the boys’ contract: I only have 15 minutes so go ahead. But he’s more interested in competition with the mogul, and “Dina” sets up the deal. Aunt Joan comes to their celebratory signing party, and returns the money to “Dina”, over her protest, and guiltily offers to buy her a somewhat confusing gift: 6 months on JDate. . Do not tell them you are not Jewish. Go down on them as soon as you meet them, you’ll forgive you anything. “Dina” counters: I’ll take $100 for vodka, the rest you keep. Joan approves: You are so unlike your mother now! “Dina” grins: You’re not mad at me any more! Keep the money. I’ll get it from you when you’re dead.
Other just as aggressive women in the series are either possibly or definitely Jewish. There’s the trophy wife “Kitty” of mercurial music mogul “Harry Braunstein”, who throughout the series keeps getting the band in trouble because she keeps insisting on having sex at very inappropriate times with long-haired David, the self-designated lothario in the band. In what seems to be a satire of the satirical Flight of the Conchords, their #1 fan is “Esther” (played by Simone Lazer), who is thrilled, in the third episode, when David picks her out for sex. But just when he gets turned off when he finds out she’s a proud grandmother of “Isaac” (I couldn’t quite catch what she had done similarly to her grandson), she is angry to learn she was only going to be a “Slump Buster” for him. She revenges on him by telling his band mates that he cut his dick while shaving his balls.
(updated 6/10/2009)
The Sarah Silverman Program – 2nd season (Vols. 1 and 2 on DVD) In “Message to Your Grandma: Vote Obama” by Dave Itzkoff in The New York Times 10/7/2008, she described her sense of her Jewish identity: “Though she comes from a Jewish background, she said: ‘I have no religion. But culturally I can’t escape it, I’m very Jewish.’ Her appeal to older viewers, she said, is ‘because of my Jewy-ness.’” Previewing this season of her show: “Among other adventures, the new episodes find Ms. Silverman . . . suing the entire country of Mongolia for rape. ‘My sister, Laura, explained to me that she and a lot of Russian Jews have slightly Asian features because of Genghis Khan, in the 1200s, coming into Russia, and raping and pillaging, and becoming part of the bloodline. . . “So that actually came from a true story.’” Ginia Bellafante’s review in The New York Times 10/23/2008 noted: “Ms. Silverman’s shock lines have a more pungent effect in her stand-up routines than in the less confrontational environment of filmed television comedy, where they can seem even more vague and self-congratulatory. In a recent episode, after a man begins mistakenly speaking to Laura in Chinese, Sarah’s response is: ‘O.K. maybe you look the tiniest bit Chinese, but it’s not like I go around speaking Hebrew to every guy with an oily nose.’”
She gave an uncharacteristically relatively serious response about the show to an interviewer in the 11/3/2008 New York Post: “Mandy Stadtmiller: ‘Your Comedy Central show continues to be hysterical and get great ratings. Having done a lot of other TV shows before, why do you think this show has finally become the perfect vehicle for you?’ Silverman: ‘Part of it is that the cast and crew are made up of a group of friends that love each other and share a vision for the show. The other part is that said group is made up of very funny silly people.’”
Nominated for 2009 Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series (updated 2/10/2010)
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold in the 5th Season (out on DVD) is evidently popular enough that HBO has given her a line of souvenir items in “The Ari Boutique” though they don’t seem to reflect her taste -- Mrs. Ari T-shirt and Mrs. Ari mug.
She returned in the 3rd episode of the season, “The All Out Fall Out” by Rob Weiss, as she delighted in presenting “Ari” with an anniversary present – a bright red Ferrari, with vanity license plates. She assures him Don’t worry, I got myself something else to make up for it. He’s thrilled: Remember how much I wanted this when I was 25? She purrs and cuddles up to him: Well, maybe it will make you feel like you’re 25. They kiss passionately there in the driveway until the kids complain. But he meets up with a competitor on the way to work who teases: Oh, that’s right, you married into money. “Ari” retorts: We only use her money for the small stuff. Their drag racing escalates into dirty tricks at the office—until the competitor sends out an e-mail with a photo of the Mrs. from her actress days – presumably naked in Hard Bodies 3, crossing even “Ari”s line. “Ari” races to the competitor’s office: That is the mother of my children! Apologize now, in front of your entire agency!, hits him, describing it as a “bitch slap”, and again demands an apology. And he gets it. “Ari” walks out with a smile. At home, the Mrs. is all dressed up to go out, but he sweeps her up in his arms and announces to “Sarah” that she’s to take care of her brother and sister while Mommy and me have a little conference. The Mrs. laughs with pleasure:Are you still taking me to dinner? Ari: Doubtful. as he carries her away.
In the same episode, Fran Drescher, with an accent toned down from The Nanny, guest starred as “Mrs. Levine” who is in total control, all business and a tough negotiator, in her flashy plans for the outlandishly expensive Sweet 16 party for her profanity spewing Goth daughter “Candice” (Ashley Rickards), whose bandaged nose is not from her recent nose job, her dad ruefully explains, and her mom rues: She hurt her nose doing God’s know what. The daughter helpfully snarls I got it going down on my boyfriend. . .. When “Candice” propositions the guest entertainer, Mom snaps back: Don’t be a whore!
In “Gotta Look Up to Get Down” by Ally Musika and Rob Weis, “Mrs. Ari” matches her husband one-on-one, even as she tries to get him to stop doing business at the funeral of the guy who dropped dead while negotiating with him. I have never seen someone so giddy after a funeral. He reports on what he’s been offered: How would you like to fuck a studio head? She retorts: I don’t know. Is Ron Meyers available? But she’s suspicious when he calls a woman from a long, long ago liaison about how he would hire her at the new job and warns her I’m on speaker phone with my wife in the car. “Mrs. Ari” is more concerned about that than his job prospects: What were you afraid she’d say? Did you fuck her? He confesses his long-ago past but she keeps challenging him: Why have I never heard [her] name before. . . I don’t know if I could live with someone working for you who you had sex with.
Just as in “First Class Jerk”, by Doug Ellin and Rob Weis, his wife had sagely advised him about the multi-million dollar job offer even while she was playing tennis - Be your own boss. No one can tell you what to do., Ari’s daughter “Sarah” (played by Cassidy Lehrman) models her mom’s role in their family. In “Seth Green Day” by Ally Musika, she is in the kitchen making breakfast for her younger brother. She insists her dad can talk to her for advice as he would to her mother: I’m 15 and obviously more adult than you.. . A man is a man when he stops whining and asks a woman nicely. . .You pretended you were nice for you to get her to marry you.
(updated 7/2/2009)
Ziva David on NCIS in her 4th season (on CBS, Tuesdays at 8 pm, repeated frequently on USA) Since the team was disbanded at the end of the last season, we’re briefly supposed to think in the opening scene of the new season, in “Last Man Standing” by Shane Brennan, that “Ziva” (Cote de Pablo) has changed careers as she vamps in a tight backless dress in a Morocco nightclub, singing Tom Waits’s "Temptation" (the actress has recorded on a couple of tracks of Roberto Pitre’s Vivo En Vida). But as she eyes a suspicious attaché case, we know she’s once again under cover for Mossad, especially when the case explodes – practically in her face. The team fears the worse when TV coverage picks her up being carried off in a stretcher, but she quickly has a miraculous recovery. For the first time we meet a formidable influence on her life, her father “Eli David” (Michael Nouri with a creditable accent) as he’s on the phone with her boss: Thank you for sending my daughter home to me. . .How can a father raise his daughter to be a professional killer? Every day is a fight for survival. It’s my dream that my daughter will not have to make that decision for her sons and daughters. I would like my grandchildren to be doctors and architects to live a happy life, to grow fat and old. You want her back? Are we winning? I would like to think we are. Then there’s a bomb or an atrocity. Use her well. Ziva is the sharp end of the spear. When she returns to NCIS she just has a small facial scar, but smiles It’s good to be back. as she’s hugged all around.
”Agent Afloat” by Dan E. Fesman and David North set up the season for “Ziva” and “Tony” getting closer. When she comes on board to conduct an investigation on the ship where he’s been exiled, she finds his office bulletin board full of photos of their team, including many shots of her smiling in a bikini – were they from a case or a social activity? As they feel each other out about how they got on during the separation, he gets interrupted while pressing her about something upsetting that happened to her when she was temporarily back in Israel.
”Capitol Offense” by Frank Cardea and George Schenck continued the softening, Americanization of “Ziva” by female bonding with Goth-in-the-lab colleague “Abby”, presenting her with a chocolate cupcake: I owe you for letting me sleep at your place. While their male co-workers pant at their fantasy images, she calmly explains a burgeoning office friendship: My building was being fumigated and Abby was good enough to let me stay on her couch—in my pajamas. Even as she still comes out with malapropisms, calling a colleague “a control geek”.
Her boss "Gibbs"’ father flatters her out in the “Heartland”, by Jesse Stern, when he explains to her the importance of context: Back in Israel, you were considered a pretty girl. You step one foot in my country and you’re considered an exotic beauty. (Which begs the question of what is the actress considered in her native Chile?)
The series’ climb in the ratings for its best year is partly due to the snappy interplay among the colleagues. In No Mystery: Ratings Heat Up For ‘NCIS’ by Bill Carter in The New York Times 11/17/2008, “David Stapf, president of Paramount Network Television, the studio that produces NCIS [said] ‘It’s a fun show.’ Fun? The essence of the stories, which are not unlike those of the better-known CBS hit CSI, is murder. But the show does emphasize the camaraderie of a quirky band of investigators. [Veteran writer Shane Brennan, who took control this season as “show runner”] said that he looked for ‘the naturalistic kind of humor you find in any office where people work together.’. . . ‘He’s given the show a sense of emotion you can really respond to,’ Nina Tassler, president of CBS Entertainment, said. . . Mr. Brennan said. . . he concentrated on what he called ‘the core of the show, the ensemble cast.’ That meant finding stories that also contained memorable character moments. ‘The audience remembers the moments, they forget the plots.’”
“Nine Lives” by Linda Burstyn, Dan E. Fesman and David North, was full of the trademark double entendres as “Tony”s curiosity was whetted about why “Ziva” was so soon returning to Tel Aviv for a visit. When she’s yelling in Hebrew on the phone, he surmises: Your ‘Women of the Mossad’ calendar get lost? But it’s her airline reservations that have gotten lost. “Tony” surmises that she was in Israel for four months long enough to hook up with someone. “Ziva” shrugs with her usual amusing malapropism, dragging out the words for sexy effect: Why are you getting so hot and bothersome because I may be having a little fun? It’s usual for people to go on vacations all the time. “Tony” rebuts: “Normal people. “Ziva” plays along: I am normal people., which he retorts with his usual movie reference: You’re normal people like the people in Ordinary People were ordinary people. Throughout the episode “Tony” gets more and more suspicious about her hiding information from her friends, in parallel to the FBI witness withholding information on their case, as she inimitably remarks: No wonder he's keeping his cards so close to his breasts.. . I’m intrigued by how intrigued you are by this, Tony. . . Maybe that friend felt it was the best for everyone. He demands: Are you seeing someone? What’s his name? She laughs: It would be hard not to see someone in Israel. It is quite populated you know. “Tony” searches her desk for clues – and finds a photo of a smiling, curly-haired, shirtless hunk on a beach. He grudgingly tries to be supportive as she leaves for a first-class flight, even managing to eke out a farewell in Hebrew. That photo showed up again in the "Knockout" episode by Jesse Stern, when she showed it while bonding with a witness in protective custody. "Ziva" murmurs" He travels. A lot. The witness warns: Long distance relationships are impossible. "Ziva" wags her finger warily at the word "relationship": I don't know. The witness has noticed the hints of electricity between her and "Tony": Maybe you should be looking for something close to home? And "Ziva" just happens to interrupt "Tony" and the witness as he's pouring out his lonely heart in a stopped elevator.
In the opening of “Murder 2.0” by Steven D. Binder she’s furious that “McGee” still has sexy photos of her in a bikini as his screensaver: I told you destroy those twice!. . .You did not erase those photos! And I will not spare one of your eyes! . . .Today is not your lucky day!. . I am going to ruin McGee’s whole year! She later points out the educational uses of scrolling through a YouTube-alike to watch “The Evolution of Dams.”
In ”Cloak” by Jesse Stern, her Mossad training may be getting intertwined with her growing feelings for “Tony”. In the midst of a sting operation to uncover a mole where they were supposed to be overcome, she fights back against orders: It was a reflex. I heard a gunshot. I saw you. . .
In "Road Kill" by Steve Kriozere, she and "Tony" continue to banter. She muses: I remember my first fight. I was eight. Shmuel Rubinstein. He snickers: Sounds like a real stud. (Stereotyping much?) She in reverie: I punched and it was over. He's curious: What did Shmuel Rubinstein do to incur the wrath of Ziva? She: He said he liked me. Through the episode, the guys try to explain to her the joys of competitive air guitar, which she keeps dismissing as childish. He asks her if she ever just acts silly, stupid and brainless. She: Tony, you and I come from different places. In my world, you grow up fast. You have no choice. He responds: Now you do. When she stays behind at the office at the end of the day, she enthusiastically takes up the air guitar on the computer, for the signature freeze frame.
"Silent Night", by Frank Cardea and George Schenck, couldn't resist projecting American Jewish customs onto an Israeli in the show's holiday episode. "Ziva" tried to get "Tony" to open up during a stake out: Hanukkah's all about family. Is it the same for Christmas? This after she was toy shopping with "McGee" and noted: My mother preferred I play with dolls, but I preferred Battleship. In an episode with a theme of remembered war crimes, "Broken Bird" by Jesse Stern, the only Jewish reference was "Ziva"s contribution to the discussion of why Washington D.C. has no J Street: In Hebrew there's no J. A former colleague's remark that "Ziva" is on Facebook, in "Bounce" by North and Binder, seemed promotional - Have you seen her knife collection?, let alone when he turned out to be the murderer.
In "Hide and Seek", by Dennis Smith, she conflates her daddy issues with her attitude towards her homeland. When "Tony" reacts negatively to her remark that she's enjoying hiking for clues in the woods like she did as a kid, she retorts: Hard to believe we have forests in Israel? He sulks back: Hard to believe you had fun as a child. She relishes explaining: Our father used to blindfold us and we had to find our own way out. It was a lot of fun. There was an oddly inaccurate reference to her homeland in "Toxic" by Steven D. Binder. Her co-workers are surprised: You don't have spring cleaning in Israel? She explains, wrongly: We do not have spring. Israel is in the desert. Um, isn't Passover cleaning spring cleaning? (More synopses from the season forthcoming.) (updated 4/13/2009)
Jenny Schecter in the 6th Season of The L Word (on Showtime, repeated frequently and On Demand, and will be repeated on Logo Channel. Deleted scenes not covered here. On DVD.) “Showtime drama announces plan to axe major character” by Lila Holland, 12/05/08 , on TV.com: “Somebody's gonna diii-iie! The L Word is getting all Twin Peaks on us for its sixth and final season. Showtime has announced that the drama--centered on a group of lesbian friends and set in Los Angeles--will be killing off one of its main characters at the start of its January 18 premiere. . . Jenny Schecter is going to die! The body of the much-maligned character (played by Mia Kirshner) will be found floating in a swimming pool during the first moments of the premiere, and how she got there is anyone's guess. Accident? Suicide? Murder? If so, who's the killer? These questions and more will be answered, but it may take all season to get to the bottom of this mystery. Fortunately for Jenny fans, the brooding young writer will be making some calculated visits from beyond the grave. Producers have promised frequent flashback scenes of Jenny at her not-dead-yet best, and we imagine those scenes will prove instrumental in the solving of her case.”
In a 1/16/2009 interview with Jim Halterman of The Futon Critic at the start of the season: "Chaiken also said there were two factors that led the writers to decide that Jenny would be the one to bite the dust. 'The first was recognizing that over the last several seasons Jenny has become more and more of an aggravation to more people. She simply provokes people. I think not intentionally. I think that Jenny... I don't think she has a malicious streak I think that she has an inquiring mind and a kind of interest in seeing where people go in the face of challenging emotional provocations but I don't think of it as malicious... but she's pushed a lot of people pretty much to the end of their nerves. And the second factor that played into it is that she's obviously has had this same effect on the audience. There seem to be many people who love and adore Jenny as a character but possibly, even a few more, who occasionally call for her to be drawn and cornered in the public square.'"
In the "3 months earlier" flashback from her dead body in the opening episode "Long Nights Journey Into Day" written and directed by Chaiken, "Jenny" is effusing at the wrap dinner for her film: I want to thank my terrific friends. You guys have shown me so much loyalty, friendship and compassions. It's what Lez Girls is all about. It means the world to me, more than any lover. . .I am madly in love with someone and it's really changed how I feel about all of this. Thank you for putting up with me. but when she finds out the lover has had sex with her roommate she's vicious to "Shane": It's the ultimate betrayal. You've broken my heart. She threatens both of them, even as "Shane" declares her friendship and "Jenny" cries and goes on a tirade. She's so involved with this that she's oblivious that her producer "Tina" is fighting to prevent the studio adding a "hetereosexist" ending. Instead, "Jenny" entices "Nicky" into rough make-up sex. But after a big kiss, "Jenny" is typically nasty before leaving her bed and joining her friends for their usual breakfast: You are nothing but a self-absorbed, self-indulgent little brat. Our affair on set was nothing but a showmance. When I said you broke my heart, I wasn't talking about you darling.
In "Least Likely" by Rose Troche, "Tina" flatters "Jenny" than she has become a good script writer and could help change the film. She, typically, reacts selfishly when she learns that her neighbor friends want to expand their house to expand their family: How am I supposed to get any work done while all that racket will be going on next door? "Tina" breezily suggests ear plugs. Surrounded by fawning fan girls, "Nicky" threatens You're dead meat Jenny Schecter! "Jenny" is still stonewalling her roommate "Shane" from apologizing. When "Shane" starts moving out after another argument, "Jenny" confesses: You know it was you I was talking about when I said you broke my heart. When I said it, I felt like my heart was breaking. . .I realize I'm in love with you, just like all those stupid girls. And they fall into a passionate embrace.
This coupling shocks their friends in "LMFAO" by Alexandra Kondracke, who bad mouth "Jenny" amongst themselves. "Helena" mocks "Jenny"s claims the relationship can work within restrictions: Boundaries? Jenny doesn't even know the meaning of the word! Meanwhile, the negative of Les Girls is missing, which "Tina" has to carefully explain to her what that means until she gets it: This film is my whole life!. . I have nothing! My agents have fired me because they don't think I'm professional. If this film doesn't come out I'm fucked. I need this film to come out so I have this kind of chance again. Which makes it ironic that "Alice" would ask her advice for a film treatment that of course "Jenny" trashes. (More synopses from the season forthcoming) (updated 10/19/2009)
2007/8 Season
The first possibly Jewish woman character of the season showed up in Showtime’s pointless, male fantasy sexual throwback Californication (on DVD). The only substantive clue so far that the sexually adventurous, bossy, foul-mouthed, curly-haired brunette wife “Marcy Runkle” (played by Pamela Adlon, née Segall ) of the best friend “Charlie” (Evan Handler frequently plays Jewish guys) is Jewish came in the 7th episode “Girls, Interrupted” by Gina Fattore, where the lead libertine jokingly called the couple “You Hebrews.” (updated 11/22/2008)
There was a similar quizzical ambiguity with “Wendy”, the clueless, sexually demanding wife (played by Amy Sloan) of the Jewish guy friend “Karl Mixworthy” (played by Joshua Malina) on ABC’s one-season Big Shots. It wasn’t even clear if they both went to Scarsdale High School, as one clue mentioned in “The Way We Weren’t” by Emily Whitesell.
I thought the reformed succubus turned fashionista “Roxy Kaufman” (played by blonde Elaine Hendrix) might have been Jewish, as she Lilith demon-like house mothers others of her kind, in the second episode of the funny sci fi satire The Middleman (ABC Family, out on DVD) in “The Accidental Occidental Conception” by Sarah Watson, returning in “The Cursed Tuba Contingency” by Hans Beimler, but the name was the only clue. A Jewish name was used more amusingly in between in “The Sino-Mexican Revelation” episode by series/graphic novel creator Javier Grillo-Marxuach, as the titular heroes pretend to be Mossad agents at a diamond theft crime scene, representing “the motherland” that was the source of the jewel, and “Wendy Watson” (played by Natalie Morales) thinks fast on her feet to come up with the pseudonym of “Lt. Esther Finkelstein.” (updated 8/3/2008)
I gave a similar pass to the recurring elderly neighbor “Ida Greenberg” (played by Crawford Brown) on Desperate Housewives who wasn’t specifically identified as Jewish, but everyone else figured she was. We sweetly learned in “Welcome to Kanagawa” by Jamie Gorenberg and Jordon Nardino that she played in A League of Their Own-type 1940’s professional women’s baseball team, (recalls her friend, with an ironic choice of meat metaphor: She was a super-star. Arm like a cannon. People said she could throw a pork chop past a hungry wolf. She made the only unassisted triple play in league history in 1944), “Lynnette Scavo”s son “Parker” confesses that during the devastating tornado Mrs. Greenberg sort of saved my life. . . She said she’d be okay in the corner, as she put the “Scavo” children in the only safe hiding place. But “Ida”s curly-haired niece “Erica” was played to the greedy Jewish stereotype hilt by Meredith Scott Lynn: Did you guys happen to find a pearl necklace? It’s the only valuable thing Aunt Ida owned. [Shades of the imagined butcher’s ghostly wife in “Tevye”’s nightmare in Fiddler on the Roof?] As “Lynnette” explains “Ida”s dream to have her ashes spread on her field of dreams, the niece is dismissive: We’re kind of pressed for time. We thought we’d just put her in the family plot back in Omaha. . .That’s kind of crazy, don’t you think? “Lynnette” offers to carry out the request: If you don’t have time to respect her wishes, I will. The niece sneers: You know, you’re not family. So I think that would be inappropriate. “Lynnette” digs in: Look you’re taking her pearls. The least I can do is honor her wishes. The niece placates sarcastically: Look, at the risk of being bitchy, this is none of your business, so would you please just drop it? “Lynnette” retorts: For what it’s worth, you went past bitch ten minutes ago. The niece not only takes the cremation urn, but says to the homeless “Scavos”: I want to get out of here. You got a week (to vacate). While “Lynnette” steals the ashes to both comically and poignantly carry out “Ida”s last wishes, fan sites are specifically identifying these women as Jewish and it’s the daughter’s impression that will be the lasting one. (updated 5/23/2008)
Ugly Betty used a presumably Jewish girl’s name to make a joke. In “Zero Worship” by Dawn DeKeyser, “Betty” is trying to convince her boss to follow the Milan and Madrid lead in featuring non-anorexic models in the magazine’s fashion show and pages. She gets to him by saying how the contemptuous teen age girls who just toured her offices made me flash back to when I was a kid at Leslie Levine’s pool party. Every one of those kids had one of those teeny tiny bikinis. And there I was in my over-sized New Kids on the Block T-shirt eating chips inside with Leslie’s parents. A pool party in Jackson Heights? When her boss agrees, she exults: Suck that Leslie Levine! Set in Providence, RI, Canterbury’s Law producer/playwright Theresa Rhebek quizzically chose to name the ripped-from-the-headlines bitchy girl “Isabelle (Izzy) Shapiro” in “Sweet Sixteen”, who posts online a “List of People We’d Like To See Dead” and allegedly manipulates a disturbed guy into doing it. As she brags I’m a girl and I’m hot. and her wealthy, lying BFF commends her as cool and smart and funny, she’s played by blonde, blue-eyed, pug-nosed Brianna Steinhilber and has a struggling single mom “Lisa” who has mortgaged their modest middle-class house for the lawyer and bail (though she ambiguously manages to find Mom’s old pearls and engagement ring and grandmother’s jewels when she runs away, let alone the credit cards). There were no other signs or references I could pick up that the girl or her mother were Jewish. Similarly in the “Dudes Being Dudes” episode by Cory Nickerson of the otherwise charming no-Jew-in-Chicago-in-sight comedy My Boys, “Bobby” begs the central woman character “P.J.” to attend his sudden fiancée’s wedding shower: Mrs. Shapiro keeps winking at her and telling her how magical the wedding night will be. A similar name was used to imply a victim point in the 2nd episode of the 2nd season of Saving Grace, “A Survivor Lives Here” by Mark Israel and Talicia Raggs. In a series set in Oklahoma City and haunted by the bombing, “Grace” tries to help “Paul Shapiro”, the son of her friend who died there. But despite their name, his mother “Janice” (played by Dee Wallace) did not seem Jewish nor were there any Jewish references. (updated 10/5/2008)
In Terminal City (shown in Canada on CHUM in 2005, this season in the U.S. on Sundance Channel), mini-series written by Angus Fraser. the central woman stricken with breast cancer may be Jewish, as TV tends to focus on the BRCA1 gene connection to Jewish women. “Katie Sampson” (played by Maria Del Mar) is married to “Ari” who has a very strong Jewish identity inculcated by his Holocaust-haunted and Israel-obsessed child survivor father Saul, and their kids include “Sarah”, who is aggressively going after her Indian English teacher for an affair, and “Eli”, who upsets them all by considering conversion to Catholicism, among other spiritual adventures, including dressing in a formal suit like a Chassid, even though “Ari” gently joked that “Katy” doesn’t believe in the God she’s furious at for allowing her to have cancer (though she fantasizes that she would believe if she were cancer-free). So just when I thought she was probably Jewish, what with their reminiscing about first meeting “Ari” at a B’nai B’rith Youth conference, “Ari” emphasizing how she has retained her sense of humor and her comparing herself to Lenny Bruce, her funeral is held in a church, with the implication that was why his father didn’t approve of their marriage and didn’t accept her until their daughter “Sarah” was born, who, regardless, she imagines will carry on the tradition of candlelight blessings at Friday night Shabbat dinner. (updated 7/13/2008)
Grey's Anatomy again tried to make up for being the only major U.S. teaching hospital without Jewish doctors by playing the card of “Dr. Yang”s (Sandra Oh) step-father being Jewish in ‘Crash Into Me”, parts 1 and 2 by Krista Vernoff and Shonda Rimes, to have her object to operating on a handsome EMT Nazi with a large Swastika tattooed on his chest: My step-father’s parents died in Auschwitz. (Maybe they meant grandparents? Not sure the biographical chronology makes sense otherwise.) When he complains about her rough treatment of him, she sneers: Keep calm! It’s not like you’re in a concentration camp or something. He flim flams about whether the tattoo was just a youthful transgression: Remember, you have to treat me like anybody else. That’s the beauty of this country. But as “Dr. Yang” is really more concerned about her professional experience issues, the story-line quickly turned racial instead as the tough drill sergeant-like African-American Chief Resident “Dr. Bailey” determined to “rise above”: No one ever better call me The Nazi again. Even ABC’s summer reality series Hopkins barely had Jewish doctors, glimpsing them occasionally as background experts, even though My Handsomest Cousin was a pediatric neurology resident there during filming. Evidently, Jewish women doctors didn’t fit into their determined effort to show a diversified staff. (I'm watching the following season's Boston Med to see if the same producers keep improbably ignoring Jewish women there too.) Even more puzzling, in "Sweet Surrender" by Sonay Washington, there was no indication that "Jessica Smithson" (played by Mary-Charles Jones) was a Jewish girl dying of the genetic Tay-Sachs disease (or any other susceptible Gentile population). At least Monk in "Mr. Monk On Wheels" by Nell Scovell had a Jewish woman doctor "Dr. Levinson" (Jacqueline Wright) when he briefly had to go to the emergency room (updated 6/25/2010)
There was an odd comic relief reference to a Jewish girl at the end of the season in the pilot episode of the addict intervention drama The Cleaner on A &E. The young, blond Mohawk-haired slacker “Arnie Swenton” (played by Texan Esteban Powell) explains, in a script by producer Robert Munic, why he avoids violence: Not that it’s the very first time I got punched in the face. Danni Mitchelman in Hebrew School – man that girl had a punch on her. I saw stars for two days after that. We ended up dating in high school.
But in the same penultimate episode of the season where he collapsed back into addiction and had to be dried out, “Five Little Words” by Munic that was broadcast into the next season around the High Holidays, an unusual Jewish woman character was featured. Because the Ukrainian actor Mark Ivanir as the oddly-named father “Gaza Rashburg” usually plays Russian gangsters (such as seen a week later on NBC’s My Own Worst Enemy’s 1st episode) I wasn’t sure at first that the bulimic, pill-popping sorority girl “Mika” was Jewish (played by Tania Raymonde, who has dropped her last name of Katz, leading to some online speculation about her ethnicity), not that I had any idea that the real Alpha Delta Chi is actually “a national Christian sorority”, which probably the show didn’t realize either or check if they could use the name. So I didn’t realize Dad was instead an Israeli drug dealer (“one of the biggest drug dealers in the state” says a member of the team who blames him for his brother’s OD) until there was an exterior shot of his headquarters called “Rifka’s”, with a Hebrew sign that my brother-in-law Coby translated for me as “bakery” (just like my favorite spot for delicious cannoli near my Queens neighborhood turned out to be the front for a major Italian heroin ring).
In the opening at a raucous party, the sorority girl “Mika” is having black-and-white flashbacks to her humiliation at last year’s event where her almost naked body was marked up butcher-like, or as the plastic surgeons do in Nip/Tuck, at a “Hogs and Heifers” hazing showcase (that’s what the woman on the interventionist team later calls it) and was taunted with chants of “You’re so fat!” when she was a pledge. Back in the present, she’s shakily taking pills and forcing herself to throw up in the toilet, weeping the titular I wish I was dead. She tries to suggest a different hazing ritual to the sorority sisters, but the chief Mean Girl insists that it’s been a tradition for 30 years: We know how much it sucked for you last year. I mean we all went through it and you get to mark the girl this year. While “Mika” is still flashing back, Mean Girl pressures her today: What about our other tradition? Daddy’s little private pharmacy? I love it!, as “Mika” hands over pills. She reluctantly goes to the bakery and insists that Dad speak English when he greets her affectionately in Hebrew. He rebukes her: I missed you at dinner last Friday. Your mother made something special. (I couldn’t catch the dish.) She sneaks pills from his supply while he gets her a sufganyot (jelly doughnut) and then tries to get her to eat it. She defers that she had breakfast, but he’s concerned: It’s 3 o’clock, breakfast was a long time ago. She mumbles she’s late for class, he protests: You’re always running. Everything I give you, you act like you don’t want it, your car, your fancy car, whatever. She’s defiant: I don’t ask for it. Dad is getting desperate: Tell me something. What are you doing to yourself, Mammela? Just talk to me! Tell me! Pills have disappeared, you smell of alcohol, I know something is wrong, Mammela, let me help you! She turns away: Nothing is going on! Nothing’s wrong! Leave me alone! He persists: Why am I making you so unhappy? What is it? Is it the way I speak? Is it where we live? We’ll move! I’ll change, all right? She backs away: You are who you are. Your accent, where we come from, I understand. But the one thing you can change, you don’t. She switches to Hebrew, with English subtitles: You are a drug dealer. It’s true and that you do not change. That makes him very angry, and she walks away. Dad calls in a favor from the interventionist: My daughter’s sick. She steals my pills. She weighs nothing. She swills alcohol. All I know is that whatever my daughter is doing is killing her. The female member of the team talks her way into the sorority house and searches “Mika”s room, with an experienced analysis of clues: One bottle of vodka, lipstick on the rim, so she’s just sipping it. Laxative, ipecac, zip loc box. Her boss translates for us non-junkies: She’s using the plastic bags to store and weigh her vomit. This girls a full-blown bulimic. The spy has found blood as well, and images what tearful flash back to the fat chants against her on display last year “Mika” is having. Later, Mean Girl visits “Mika” in her room: It stinks in here! You haven’t left this bedroom in hours! “Mika” mutters: Yeah, I got sick. Something at lunch didn’t agree with me. Mean Girl counters: You ate carrots – 3 of them. “Mika” tries another tack: I’m exhausted. I was up until like 3. . . Mean Girl zeroes in: So which is it? Exhaustion or the food? There’s no way. . . “Mika” snaps back: What – there’s no way I could have food poisoning? No way I could be exhausted? I have a really sensitive system! Mean Girl turns sympathetic: Lots of girls go through this Mika -I’m concerned. I care about you! “Mika” rejects her overture: Just go away! Get out of here! She again flashes back to last year. Later, this year’s party looks the same, as the Mean Girl introduces the new scantily clad pledges to a crowd of rowdy frat boys: We present you the finest in campus flesh! “Mika” has more flashbacks to when she was exposedly marked up and Mean Girl announced: Any piece of meat that is too fat will not be tolerated! Will you help me corral these farm animals? . .Bring out our next little heifer! “Mika” remembers her saying last year: This little piggy has the face of an angel. Don’t you think this piggy can be prime cut? But then she turned around and whispered into “Mika”s ear: Don’t worry – as long as daddy supplies the house, you’re golden. In the present, “Mika” runs away, and talks to herself about all her insecurities while she weepily scarfs cookies down, including an ethnic reference: You’re too fat! Too stupid! You’re dark! They only like you because you give them daddy’s pills! After Dad pleads for help as a fellow father despite his line of work, the interventionist figures out For bulimics it’s a ritual. . .She wants to go some place where she’ll be found by her father. and finds her collapsed outside the bakery, just after she had mumbled another take on the titleI wish I was alive. He clears her stuffed esophagus ultra-dramatically in the nick of time, but warns Dad: Your daughter’s going to need long term medical treatment. She’s going to need therapy. This was certainly a more explicit look at bulimia than anything on the Family Channel’s Greek, which doesn’t have any Jewish women in its sorority. (updated 10/23/2008)
Kike Like Me (Originally produced for Canadian TV, shown in the U.S. on Sundance Channel) Jamie Kastner doesn’t speak to many Jewish women around the world as part of his exploration of whether he is Jewish and how Jewish identity is perceived, but he intentionally toyed with stereotypes when we see his wedding picture with a curly-haired brunette. (12/28/2007)
The Quest for the Missing Piece (Originally produced for Israeli TV, review forthcoming, as seen at the 17th Annual NY Jewish Film Festival at Lincoln Center/The Jewish Museum) and will doubtless show up on U.S. cable TV.) Oded Lotan includes Jewish women, particularly his sister, in this intriguing look at the tradition of brit milah and circumcision around the world from the point of view of a gay man. Unfortunately, he ends up climaxing with a Portnoy’s Complaint-like attack on his mother. (12/28/2007)
Flying: Confessions Of A Free Woman (7/4/2007) (emendations coming after 1/4/2008) (Screened theatrically at the Film Forum, but it is a TV mini-series, not a movie. Shown on the Sundance Channel in the U.S. May 2008.)
Making Trouble (Review forthcoming, as seen at the 17th Annual NY Jewish Film Festival at Lincoln Center/The Jewish Museum) (Produced by the Jewish Women’s Archive, a feminist answer to Broadway Danny Rose, let alone Woody Allen and his ilk, as Jackie Hoffman and other Jewish women comediennes sit around Katz’s to kibbitz, interspersed with expert interviews for archival and biographical looks at Molly Picon, Sophie Tucker, Fanny Brice, Joan Rivers, Gilda Radnor and Wendy Wasserstein.) (1/24/2008)
The Sarah Silverman Program – 2nd season (on Comedy Central) I haven’t gotten around to commenting on this set of her shows, as it’s hard enough to keep up with her video hits on YouTube: winning an Emmy for outstanding original music and lyrics for co-writing the satirical virally popular song “I’m F*cking Matt Damon”, right after she broke up with her non-Jewish boyfriend, that was originally produced for his Jimmy Kimmel Show, and influencing the presidential election in Florida (that almost made me sorry for my kids that they don’t have grandparents there to schlep to). (10/7/2008)
She briefly reprised her guest “Marci Maven” role for the third time in “Mr. Monk’s 100th Case” by Tom Scharpling, though her character has not been explicitly ID’d as Jewish. Structured as a reality show tribute to the famous “Detective Monk”, “Maven” was “interviewed” in front of her shrine to him as President of the Adrian Monk Fan Club though fan can mean one thing to, like you, and something completely different to, like, say, Judge Harriet Waxman of the Third District Court. Y’know, I can tell you something about Judge Waxman, she’s never been in love, so she’s shooting from that perspective. She points to two photographs of her with “Monk” decorating the altar: This is actually, really from a case we worked on together, a homicide. It took a lot of clue hugs, but we cracked it. But this one wasn’t as real.. (updated 9/28/2008)
Oddly, not a one of the women in HBO’s first season of In Treatment turned out to be Jewish over its 48 hours. Though set in an unspecified American town, it is based on Be’ Tipul (In Therapy), an award-winning television series that debuted in Israel in 2005, and is executive produced by Noa Tishby, an Israeli-born actress. According to press reports, it is basically the same Israeli show but with English-speaking actors. (The short-lived The Ex List on CBS the next season was also based on an Israeli show and also didn’t seem to have any Jews.) I was betting on at least “Amy” and “Jake” being Jewish, what with her mother named “Molly”, but when they discussed naming their baby after family, they revealed male relatives named the gentile-sounding “Otis” and “Sloane” and talked about celebrating Christmas.(updated 11/10/2008)
With the fictional TV season shortened by the writers’ strike, the trend for Jewish women on TV this season moved from Mossad agents to Hassids. Law and Order: SVU featured Jewish women in “Unorthodox” by Josh Singer. “Rachel Zelinsky” was played by Cara Buono, one of my favorite TV actresses from playing Italians on Third Watch and The Sopranos, answered questions about her ex to the detectives of the Sex Crimes Unit after her ten year old was found to have been raped: My ex got me into some crazy stuff. Religion. He became a zealot. He lost all interest in me. He spent all his time with the rabbis. We split up. He moved to Williamsburg. The now-Hasidic ex is bitter: This is all Rachel’s fault. These unspeakable things only happen in your world. At the yeshiva, the defensive receptionist is played by Zoe Lister-Jones who also played an Orthodox woman in Arranged. The detective follows the tutor suspect “Jacob” out, only to discover that he’s been meeting her, using her little brother as cover. She goes on a bit incoherently about why what they’re sneaking off to do together is forbidden in their culture: We just wanted a little privacy. (So, nu, why aren’t they married already?) As their alibi of spending the day at a film marathon checks out, the detectives are incredulous: He’d rather everyone think he’s a pervert rather than let everyone know he spent the day making out with his girl at the movies? Meanwhile, it seems that the ex has taken the rape victim up to one of those Hasidic enclaves in Rockland County, as “Mrs. Zelinsky” explains their “totally sheltered” restrictions in a voice-over of images of the community. They find the rebbe with the kid, not the ex: It’s my duty to save Dovid from his mother’s world. The detectives exchange looks with the rebbe after the trial: Maybe the Hasidim are onto something. Unplug the kids from their modern life. These days it may not be such a bad idea. I couldn’t tell if Rhea Pearlman’s “Roxana Fox” who was defending the teen rapist was supposed to be Jewish too. (1/18/2007)
In a continuing exploration of his cynicism, let alone his God complex, House, M.D., who in the previous three seasons has taken on nuns and other religious faithful, now faced in “Don’t Ever Change”, by Doris Egan and Leonard Dick, an ultra-Orthodox woman. The episode opened with “Roz” (played by Laura Silverman, whose sisters are a rabbi and comedienne Sarah, on whose Comedy Central show she co-stars) marrying her bearded husband Yonathan (played by Israeli-born Eyal Podell) in a traditional Hasidic wedding service, celebrating as male and female separated dancers lift up chairs they linked with a handkerchief, but she starts bleeding and falls. Secular Jewish “Dr. Chris Taub” (played by Peter Jacobson) becomes the religious expert throughout the episode as he had previously been ID’d as Jewish, noting that Hasidim fast on their wedding day, so maybe that contributed to her collapse. Discounting the possibility of poisoning by Cossacks, “House” suggests a suicide attempt, but “Taub” objects Suicide is a sin. “House” supplements his usual mantra (that I have a version of on the official T-shirt) People lie, people sin and in my world, people include Jews. . . Hasidic women marry young so they can start pushing out little Hasidlings. 38-year-old woman means a woman not on anyone’s hot list being pushed on to a guy not on anyone’s hot list. No way out. The female resident objects that a physical diagnosis fits better than an epiphany that her life is meaningless. “House” shrugs: Fine, check her innards for bad cells and her house for bad karma. Carbonic acid should be on the shelf right next to the self-hate and self-loathing. While searching the house, “Taub” rags on Hasidic arranged marriages, while the African-American “Dr. Foreman” defends the rationale of shared values. But what they find instead in the house is evidence of her earlier life in rock ‘n’ roll. She confesses that she used to be hooked on heroin when she was a record producer, but that she’s been clean for many months. I became ba'al teshuvah (Hebrew for "master of return", which refers to secular Jews changing their lives to become ultra-Orthodox) six months ago. I took one class, then another class. She left behind pop music is considered frivolous. Same as we don’t watch TV or movies. and she claims she told her husband about her former life, at least “in broad strokes.”
“House” adds “altered mental state” as one of her symptoms in his differential diagnosis. “Taub” protests She’s nuts but we can’t just give her 10 cc’s of atheism and send her home. “House” sneers: The woman didn’t just choose to keep kosher, she became a masochist. She went directly to the extreme of Hasidic Judaism of stringent rules. People don’t change. The husband is furious: I want a doctor who doesn’t think my wife is sick just because she’s religious. . . My wife’s body is sick. Her mind and soul are fine. “House” concludes a theological debate with him: So you will trust my diagnosis, and you'll let me treat her, because in this temple I am Dr. Yahweh. But his boss “Dr. Cuddy” warns him: If you’re dissatisfied with your life, changing it is a symptom of mental health. I get why that concept is strange to you. The woman resident concurs: Maybe she didn’t change. . How do we know that the real Roz isn’t who she is now and who she was then? Can’t we say that her previous life was true without making her present life a fraud? “Roz” surprises her new husband with an involuntary “Damnit” at a painful stress test, and he expresses his concern to “Dr Taub”: With the treatment she’ll be the way she was before I knew her? “Taub” provides odd comfort: You’ll find someone else. “Yonathan” protests: There isn’t anyone else. “Taub” is incredulous that he could feel that way after only meeting her three times while he extols how he still loves his wife after 12 years of marriage like on their wedding day (which is actually a sore point as he cheated on her so took this job to try and save his marriage), but “Yonathan” cuts him off: But the more you know someone the more you should love them.
“Dr. Foreman” muses while perusing her MRI: Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll and the 600 rules of God are all in there somewhere. (“Yonathan” had earlier corrected “House”s reference to the 613 mitzvot.) “House” joins them: How’s our mental Yentl? Her limbic system and pleasure centers are lighting up like a Hanukah bush. as “Foreman” explained the procedure to her – but while he was touching her in comfort, her brain waves were changed by her praying. “Taub” too is now sympathetic- They have something we don’t have., and “House” jeers: You drank the Manishewitz-flavored Kool-Aid. Find out where her wiring is klempt. Groggy under anesthesia she overhears the male residents talking about the woman doctor: Stop loshen horeh! (harmful gossip – though it’s a phrase that’s usually snidely used against women). At yet another procedure, her husband turns away, uncomfortable at seeing her uncovered, and the woman doctor tries to be comforting: Under the circumstances, I think Roz would sacrifice modesty to have you with her. But “Yonathan” gives a spirited retort: Please, you think it’s sweet that I care for her modesty, that it is archaic, but ultimately irrelevant. Our traditions aren’t just blind rituals. They mean something, they have purpose. I respect my wife and I respect her body.
“Roz” is feeling better from the new treatment and urges her husband to go home and get some sleep. He demurs and the couple exchanges flirtatious endearments about the matchmaker: I never told you, but you are much better looking than Mrs. Silver led me to expect. He gives the only explanation we’ll get about why he wasn’t yet married: She never liked me. When I was 8, I threw up on her shoes at my uncle’s wedding. But she again collapses and he alerts the doctors to just how bad off she is: She’s saying the sh’ma! She thinks she’s dying! Cute Aussie “Dr. Chase” is brought in to explain that she needs surgery to stop internal bleeding – but she refuses. I’m going to die anyway. I just want to share one Shabbat with my husband. I don’t want the surgery until after sunset. Her husband pleads with her: Roz, please, the Torah commands us to preserve life. She smiles: I waited 38 years to find what I wanted. I can wait another 8 hours. I’ll leave the rest to God. “House” is disgusted: She’s not a masochist. She’s suicidal. “Taub” reiterates She’s not suicidal. She’s made a commitment to her new life with her husband. She wants one meaningful experience in that life. She’s connecting with all the years she’s not going to have. “House” snorts: A better way to connect to all those years is to actually have them. He rags the frustrated “Dr. Chase” who protests that “she’s adamant” even though he had a rabbi call to try and convince her, is sarcastic about trying “twin rabbis”, but then suggests:You want more time? Joshua got God to make the sun stand still. No reason we can’t make God speed it up. And of course by God I mean you. So, presumptively with the husband’s connivance, they cover up the windows and lie to her about the Sabbath that starts at sundown Friday and ends at Saturday sundown with no “work” allowed in the duration, claiming that the drugs have made her confused about the time, as “Taub” transports her to a candlelight dinner with your husband. So you’ll pray, scarf some challah, then we can do this? She’s so weak that she has to be helped to raise her hands as her husband recites the Shabbat prayers. “Taub” isn’t sure what part of the prayers “Yonathan” is up to, but “House”, surprisingly, knows that he’s blessing his wife and quotes from Eshet Chayil, known as “A Woman of Valor”, as he refers to lines from the prayer: She laughs at the future because she’s an idiot. Her value isn’t beyond pearls because dead people have no value. “House” is furious: The woman’s not just a masochist, she’s a hypocrite. The commandment to preserve life comes before all others. “Taub” tries to defend her: Actually, she’s not a masochist and she’s not following all the rules. Just the ones that please her. “House” targets him: Right, she walks in crazy, explained how ritual trumps living, and you decide it’s a beautiful life style? “Taub”: She’s wrong, but if there’s more. . . “House: Then the only meaning is here . . “Taub”: But if she thinks God is there for her. If she lives her life believing that God is there. . . “House: Then she dies. Things aren’t there just because we want them to be there.
Which gives him the solution to her physical dilemma: Or what isn’t there!, as he chases her gurney down the corridor: Stop that Jew! Chase hates working on Shabbos, so let’s make it easier for him. . .Your contractor, and you know who He was, put your kidney on a cheap chain. . .You’ll have something to tell all the ladies at the mikveh. Mazel tov! Now you’ll be able to push out those 14 children. It was her dancing at the wedding that brought her condition to the crisis point. And at the end of the episode, “House” and “Wilson” (who is supposedly also Jewish – fans presume his mother was Jewish) wish each other “Shabbat Shalom.” (a common Friday night “peaceful Sabbath” farewell) The atmospheric music included “Nani, nani” by the Accentus Ensemble and melodies for the prayers, including the Niggun of the Alter Rebbe. (updated 2/8/2008)
The season finale of Eli Stone, “Soul Free” by Courtney Kemp Agboh and Andrew Kreisberg, had a woman rabbi wife (Jayne Brook as “Rebecca Green”) for a heavy-handed discussion of religious end-of-life issues through a legal fight with her terminally ill husband (“David Green” played by Richard Schiff). (I’ll transcribe the dialogue when I get a chance.) (updated 5/8/2008)
In the otherwise ethnically neutral NYC in NBC’s weak Sex and the City imitation, Lipstick Jungle, two old Jewish ladies popped up in “Chapter 2: Nothing Sacred” by Oliver Goldstick. Tracking down the black tranny who bought her first hat design from a rummage sale, the fashion designer is startled to see an old lady, accompanied by her yarmulke-wearing son, wearing it as they wish her “Shabbat Shalom” when they come out the front door. The woman explains It was a gift from that lovely tall girl down the hall. . .Very neighborly of her. Recalling a much funnier Curb Your Enthusiasm, the designer follows them to synagogue where her somewhat less old friend is shocked that the designer pulls out cash to buy the hat: You can’t wheel and deal in a House of God! . . Shame on you – snatching clothes off a widow’s back!. . .What are you an animal? She can’t attend services bare-headed! The designer’s billionaire boyfriend later turns up with the hat: I just made an 80 year old woman with a bald spot very rich and very cold. In the “Dog Eat Dog” episode of ABC’s very similar series Cashmere Mafia, either writer Lizzy Weiss, Tze Chun or Mike Weiss had the tough blonde cosmetics business boss “Lily Parrish” (played by Christine Ebersole, but presumably channeling Helena Rubinstein or Estée Lauder) angrily calling a contractor a “pisher” and “mezkheit”, to the non-comprehension of equally blonde “Caitlin Dowd” (Bonnie Somerville), who begged off that she’s an Irish Catholic whose only Yiddish is “shmear” and the self-referential “shiksa”. (updated 2/26/2008)
Hana Gitelman showed up again in Heroes the strike-shortened 2nd season only in the supplementary online graphic novel, in Episode 5, Chapters 69 and 70 called “Hana and Drucker’s Plot Discovered” and “The End of Hana and Drucker”, story by R.D. Hall and art by Tom Grummett. But her background seems irrelevant to exploration of the spiritual connections within the internet that she has melded with, and her ability can’t save her from virtual data overload. (updated 8/30/2008)
Bubbe Botwin in the 4th season of Weeds (on Showtime most nights of the week and On Demand) continued another trend for the portrayal of Jewish women this TV season as elderly or with Alzheimer’s or comatose, albeit with the series’ satirical touch, as “Bubbe” is described as “far, far away”. In the season premiere “Mother Thinks the Birds Are After Her”, (episode #38) by series creator Jenji Kohan, the pot-dealing-Mom-on-the-run “Nancy Botwin” (Mary Louise Parker) announced that they would be going to the beach house of her late husband’s grandmother – as she’s burned down their house with gasoline. The older son “Silas” (Hunter Parrish) is surprised: Doesn’t Bubbe hate you? Mom: She just hates that I’m not Jewish. It’s not personal. But the son is still hesitant: I only met her twice, and once was at dad’s funeral. She called me something like. . He fumbles at unfamiliar Yiddish. His uncle "Andy" (Justin Kirk) helpfully explains: She said you had a goyishe punim. That means you have a face like a goy. Mom persists: Well, she loves her great-grandchildren, so we’re going. The younger son “Shane” (Alexander Gould) : Dad once told me that bubbe killed the neighbor’s dog. His uncle is quickly defensive: No one could ever prove that! “Shane”: What’s she like? Uncle: She’s great, actually, and a bitch. But in a great, tough cookie way. So “Andy” is shocked at the sight of his grandmother (played by Jo Farkas) lying in a sick bed, and on top of that both that dad would have dismissed the home health aide, yet leave her to go to the track for awhile, and then that he would clean her tubes and bottom (“Andy” is a bit numb later when he notes that in the process I saw my grandmother’s vagina.). His dad (played by Albert Brooks) walks in just after they arrive, giving some commentary on Jewish women, and unless we get more information this season, we’re to presume his wife was Jewish and shared his attitudes. He explains why he calls his daughter-in-law: Not-Francie. Because Francie is the woman your father should have married. She’s wonderful. She’s an eye doctor. Beautiful, tiny hands that bring sight to the blind. She married a cantor and has four children, and she’s still the #1 Lasik surgeon in the entire north county. She gave me a discount and now I see perfect. She’s wonderful. Trying to ignore the pictures around the house of her late husband “Judah” with Francie, “Nancy” just happens, for no particular reason other than to set up a laugh line, serves a meal of some spaetzle-thing, to her father-in-law’s consternation: You’re sitting in my mother’s living room, eating German food and smelling like gas? She was in Auschwitz for Christ’s sake! What kind of monster are you? “Nancy” retorts: A terrible shiksa monster here to terrorize your clan. Get over it already, Len, it’s been 20 years. What do you want from me? “Len” protests: Hey, Judah stopped talking to me! “Nancy” retorts: Because you would only call me Not-Francie. Because you refused to come to our wedding. Because the one time we came down here after Silas was born, you told us the baby had eczema because Judah had watered down the gene pool. “Len” keeps calling her Not-Francie anyway. “Nancy” challenges “Len”: Your mom’s not doing well, and you’re not looking so fine yourself. To her brother-in-law she is rueful: I hadn’t counted on the dying woman in the living room.
In the next episode, "Lady's a Charm" (episode #39) by Victoria Morrow, after “Nancy” attempts to use Bubbe’s vibrator as a hair dryer, until she appreciates what it is (she muses- Oh bubbe – who knew?), Bubbe sets in motion a moral dilemma for the already very morally compromised family. “Andy” uses Bubbe as the excuse for why he had gone off to spend money his dad had given him and his brother instead of placing it on a bet on a sure thing at the track, such that “Lenny” angrily calls him a gonif- a thief. Bubbe told us to do it! She said you never win! and pleads for Bubbe to wake and support him. But just as “Lenny” snarls: Look at her – she’s a bag of broccoli!, she does speak and only her son understands her mumbled words: It’s Yiddish! She speaks Yiddish! She said ‘Kill me’!
Next, in “The Whole Blah Damn Thing” (episode #40) by Ron Fitzgerald, “Andy” appears in an old coat of his grandmother, sardonically noting: Bubbe likes her pelts. He explains Bubbe’s recent trip to Clarityville to his surprised sister-in-law: So she’s in there? The family debates “killing Bubbe” vs. “helping her find peace”. “Andy”: ’"Kill me?’, huh, what do you think she meant by that? Maybe it was her sled? . . . .No, well, yes, but no. I mean yes, and also no. Mostly yes, like in an incredibly merciful, dignified yes up here, in the foreground. With this deeply felt, sorrowful tinged with regret and guilt about the big fat yes, no back there a ways. The older grandson is doubtful: We don’t really have a lot of family. Do we really want to kill her off? “Andy” orates: That back there? That is as good as it gets for Bubbe. There’s no recovery. Pain and more pain and wanting that pain to end. His older nephew persists: So let’s just kill her? “Andy”: Let’s help her find peace. Nephew: By killing her. “Andy”: I wish you wouldn’t make killing her sound so much like killing her. The younger nephew pipes up: Show some balls! His older brother retorts: Yeah, death is no big deal, because life is just blah blah blah. And “Andy” begins one of his fan-favorite monologues to relate to Bubbe: Look, Silas, life is just blah blah blah. You hope for blah and sometimes you find it but mostly, it’s blah, and waiting for blah, and hoping you were right about the blahs you made. And then just when you think you’ve got the whole blah damn thing figured out and you’re surrounded by your blahs, death show up. And blah blah blah. Which convinces his nephew: All right, let’s do this. They nominate the younger one to negotiate with Grandpa: She said she wants to die. Grandpa bitterly mocks his knowledge of her condition, as they just arrived, but the kid defends his position, as he turns to his unconscious great-grandmother: I think you have the right to choose the manner of your death. Grandpa is sarcastic: Pulling the plug on her. Is that you have in mind. The kid shrugs: Pretty much. Grandpa persists: So tell me. Would you want to kill your mother? Just say that was your mother laying in that bed. “Shane” is stalwart: If she said kill me, I would. Grandpa continues: Well, as luck would have it, it’s not your mother that happens to be the woman that spent the wonder years kicking my ass. Calling me a loser, a liar, a bad investment, force-feeding me liver and applesauce. Hanging my dog – twice- accidentally so she said, but how did they get up there in that tree? “Shane”: I think you’re having problems letting go. Grandpa: Of course. I am having problems letting go. Because it’s my fucking mother. All eye balls and elbows and ready to play God. All right, Big Guy – here’s her ventilator, it starts here and ends here, so yank it. Give it a tug, a pop and she’s gone. Easy right? “Shane” is defeated: I can’t. Grandpa pats him on the head and back and goes out on the beach, where “Andy” joins him, to his discomfiture: What the fuck do you want? . .Fuck, say it! You want me to kill my mother! “Andy”: Goddamn it, yes! Yes I want you to pull the plug! I want you to cash in her chips. I want you to enter her in the dirt derby. You’re the one who told us what she said. You. It was Yiddish. You could have told any lie you wanted. You have said anything. But you told us. Grandpa protests: You can’t listen to that. It’s just talk coming out. She could have said anything. “Andy” counters: How many times has she talked? Grandpa: I don’t know. “Andy”: How many times has she said ‘I want to die’? Grandpa: I don’t know, once, twice, several times, never. I don’t know. What do you want me to say? That I wish she was dead and this would all go away? “Andy” affirms and Grandpa repeats – and they go back to drinking beer. “Andy”: So, do you want to be the one? Grandpa: This is some kind of fucking honor? “Andy”: No, she likes me. Grandpa’s eyes narrow: Nancy. “Andy”: Bubbe did say that bringing Not-Marcie into her house would kill her. Grandpa: Psychic, that woman. Back in the house, “Andy” lets her know: We’re just saying our goodbyes. We decided it would be best to pull the plug and let her rest in peace. Actually – we decided you should do the honors. And she excuses herself from her drug-dealing negotiations: I have to go kill my dead husband’s grandmother now. - and he sympathizes: Been there. “Nancy” faces Bubbe: I don’t really know a lot about you to be honest. I don’t really know your real name. If I thought about it, maybe I do, probably. Helen? I’m sure I’ll read it in the paper or on your grave. Anyway, I now Judah loved you and I know you loved Judah. And that’s good to know. I know you’re not hanging on for things you haven’t done because you did things you needed to do. . . You touched all their lives and you were loved and you collected many treasures that we will now have to figure out what to do with. I pray that you will rest easy, that you will not fear, that you will have peace and you will thank God it has come at last. Please don’t be mad at me. As her family stands around Bubbe’s bed, she tries several different circuit breakers until one kicks off. And Bubbe keeps breathing. As they stand around her bed, “Nancy” calmly directs her youngest: Shane, get your mother a pillow.
The opening shot of the next episode, “The Three Coolers”, by Roberto Benabib, is of a tall Jewish memorial candle, the kind lit when returning from a funeral, though it makes the younger grandson nervous: Isn't that a fire hazard?. Grandpa: It's on a dish. Shane: What if there's an earthquake? Grandpa: Well, I think the odds are in your favor that the two houses you live in won't burn down... although your mother is a wild card. The grandfather announces: Let’s pay respect to a courageous woman who escaped the clutches of Adolf Hitler to lead a long, productive life only to be snuffed out by a hypoallergenic pillow from Bed, Bath and Beyond. The days of sitting shiva are then marked off on the screen in Hebrew letters, as on “Day 1”, he explains the rules: Now, remember, soon we’ll eat and we’ll remember some more. “Day 3” they get visited by real estate agents: She was a lovely woman. On “Day 4” an agent asks how did she die? The grandson replies: Mom killed her. On “Day 5”, Grandpa plays her Auschwitz numbers for the lottery: Hey man, they’re obviously lucky – she survived! “Day 6” the male real estate agent flatters the family’s devotion, but Grandpa stops him: I’m touched by your outpouring of emotion, and I think Bubbe would have been too, but I’m going with the hot chick who walked in here on Tuesday. On “Day 7” he announces: Attention beloved mixed-marriage family. Shiva is over. Meanwhile, “Nancy”s drug dealer admires her killing technique: I had to smother a guy with a pillow once, too. My arms got tired. You? Nancy: Not so much. It was Tempur Pedic. Conformed to her face. Grandpa takes young “Shane” on a treasure hunt: There’s money believe me. Bubbe was convinced the Nazis were going to rise again. So when she got too old to prepare to shtup her way out of the camps, she started hoarding money for bribes. . . genocide can happen again. It must never happen again, to the Jews. . . Jackpot! Good old Jewish paranoia—the trick is to make it work for you. She was a very spry woman in her day., as he climbs up to find her cache. (quote isn’t 100% exact) Amidst all of these family remembrances, “Andy” suddenly says I miss Yael, she might have been the one, his Israeli ex-girlfriend. Grandpa then imparts a final lesson to his grandson before he splits: Your mother taking out my mother – it was the best thing that could have happened to me. You know why? Because Bubbe was my fucking cooler! I gotta get out of this place! I’ve been here too long. (as in the movie The Cooler) (updated 10/5/2008)
Faux Cherien Rich in her 2nd season on The Riches (on FX Tuesdays at 10 pm, repeated overnights. 2nd season on DVD.) It didn’t look like there was still going to be this fake Jewish woman on the series at the start of the season, as the family of travelers seemed to be on their way to Mexico. But in “Friday Night Lights” by Ellie Herman and Dmitry Lipkin, “Dahlia” couldn’t break her attachment with the real “Cherie”s mother, “Dr. Morgenstern” (played by Peggy Stewart), who even through her dementia can see she’s not “Cherien.” She not only brings “Mama” to a Texas hospital, after alcohol-induced hypertension, but picks her up on their way to continue pretending to be the “Riches”: I’m not gonna leave mama with some Jew-hating rednecks! Her husband “Wayne” is at first confused about their relationship: She’s not Jew. . oh, yes, she is a Jew! OK. (updated 3/23/2009)
Berta Bronstein on Mandrake started by giving us the sexiest Jewish woman character on TV who is not just a one-note – figures she’s imported from Brazil, via HBO, in a 2005 series available On Demand with English subtitles and Spanish dubbing, so the titular lawyer/fixer of rich clients’ problems (played a bit dourly by Marcos Palmeira) is pronounced “mon-DRAH-kay”. Set in Rio de Janeiro, he’s a compulsive womanizer, particularly falling in love, or at least coupling, in each episode with his clients’ nubile daughters or trophy wives.
The characters were created by Brazilian novelist Rubem Fonseca, evidently originally in the 1983 scatological social commentary noir High Art (A Grande Art), at least that was the first of his works translated into English, with some odd word selections, by Ellen Watson, and apparently continued in the 2005 Mandrake: The Bible and the Stick (A Bíblia e a bengala), that doesn’t yet seem to be in English [his alter-ego writer in Bufo and Spallanzani complains that his publisher wants him to write another popular detective novel, so I guess he gave in]; he’s reported to have been actively involved in the TV adaptation, with his son José Henrique Fonseca as the show runner. In the first book, told in the first person, “Berta” is already the title character’s ex, though he thinks of her frequently amidst his trio-plus of steady lovers, as a gold unicorn necklace she gifted to him is stolen during a brutal attack and leads him on a trail of revenge. His first mention of her is at his new girlfriend’s apartment, whining that “Berta” had bigger breasts and she always used to keep a bottle of white wine on ice for me. The new woman taunts back: Why don’t you go back to her? Drink wine and play chess all day. Should be a thrilling life. Especially with a woman who’s got big breasts. But she asks him to move in and gives him a BJ anyway, and in the next chapter we learn that he did used to live with “Berta”. He finds books on his shelf that belonged to her – “Millet, Friedan, Green, Dworkin, Steiner, Horter, Rich, authors she had insisted I read”, not that she’s quite this intellectual on TV. He also reminisces about how frequently they went to the movies: “The last movie we went to see before we broke up was an old Vincent Price flick, House of Usher, maybe in the hope that the Price-Poe combination could save our relationship. Berta was tall, thin and pale, with blues eyes and black hair. At home, after the movie, she attempted her Vincent Price imitation, modulating her voice and widening her big, expressive eyes. But she couldn’t quite manage it; she was too unhappy.” He goes to see her compete in the National Women’s Chess Championship: “Berta was playing with the same level of concentration that had exasperated me so often in the days I played reckless, headstrong chess—never, however risking the queen. Which was what Berta was doing at that very moment: losing the queen, apparently distracted, causing her adversary to tremble with excitement as she moved her piece. But it was the Würzberg ambush. I watched Berta’s triumph and then moved toward her, shouldering aside some of her more enthusiastic fans. Congratulations. Berta started, surprised, fighting the pleasure she felt to see me. She had suffered a great deal and believed some retribution was called for.” He goes on to ask her for a chess match, offering to play with handicaps, but she only agrees to a cup of coffee with him. She wonders if it’s all his girlfriends that make him look so awful and he denies that. She retorts: How can it be? The great fornicator – abandoned by women? And she walks out. He muses: “I’m going to throw away all her letters, I thought. One was more than twenty pages long, and every paragraph started with I love you. Berta. Her hands were cold the first time we slept together. And she hadn’t been able to stop talking in a high, reedy voice, like a frightened sheltered child. She had had a very strict upbringing, as a Yiddish meydele.” But he still keeps a photo of her in his bathroom: “a pale dark-haired woman sitting behind a chessboard,” much to his girlfriend’s annoyance, though he likes that the new one with the perfect body sleeps naked: “Berta Bronstein didn’t sleep in the nude, because she didn’t like anyone to see the little bulge that appeared when she lay on her side.” Later, he remembers how “Berta” saw through his “infantile imposture” about his family, as he has to visit who could be his future in-laws: “Berta was really amusing. No, Berta was not really amusing. But if she wanted me right now, I’d go running and jump into bed with her.”
So how does this strong Jewish woman change when she becomes a TV character? “Berta” (played by Maria Luisa Mendonça) is his “official girlfriend” who sleeps over and is familiar to his housekeeper. He frequently professes love to her, but he is simultaneously having frequent sex with “Bebel”, a nympho barely 18 year old, who is also drawn from the book. In “Berta”s official character bio, as translated from HBO Latino by my brother-in-law Coby, she “is a mature and sophisticated woman who maintains a love relationship with Mandrake. She loves yoga and is a great chess player, and she would be the woman in Mandrake’s life, if there was one.” One definition of sophisticated seems to be that the actress doesn’t have to bare her breasts as often as the other spectacularly endowed women in the series.
In the first episode “The City Isn’t What You See From the Sugar Loaf (A cidade não é aquilo que se vê do Pão de Açúcar)”, written by director José Henrique Fonseca, Felipe Braga and Tony Bellotto, that “Berta” is Jewish is immediately telegraphed, as she surprised “Mandrake” with her return from a long, boring trip to Europe: It must be to keep the nomadic tradition of the Bronsteins alive. She continually sloughs off his frequent declarations of love with verbal jabs and sarcastic expressions about his constant infidelities, as she gives him a blow job or straddles him. In the 2nd episode, “Valentine's Day (Dia dos Namorados)” written by the same trio, he has to help a client whose Jewishness is loudly pronounced as he is filmed, by director Toni Vanzolini, in the same frame as his handy menorah. But while the fixer flirts with his daughter “Deborah Graff”, he atypically doesn’t seduce her, maybe because the father has just criticized him: Responsibility - if you were one of us you would understand. When “Mandrake” begs off a call from another lover to celebrate the holiday, “Berta” mocks: Does that mean I was the chosen one?
The third episode, “Eva”, again by the three amigos, demonstrates that “Berta” is an intellectual, that he loves her for her mind, too, as whenever he sees a chess board he thinks of her, as directed by Arthur Fontes, after the episode opens with him playing strip chess with her. They are drinking wine mostly unclothed and “Berta” is restless to make love already. But he’s concentrating on the board: It’s not everyday I can beat Berta Bronstein. She protests she’s getting cold, and pulls him into bed and under her for very energetic sex. He does come back from the client visit looking for her, still looking at that chess board, and later she calls him with her moves. He muses that he’s obsessed with playing chess with her. They continue the match in their underwear and “Berta” is restless at the 15th move: Focus Mandrake or you’ll lose the game. . .You’re drunk! He crawls over to her begging to be held. She holds him in her arms and asks why he doesn’t seem to be himself. As he snuggles he confesses that he’s in love with another woman. “Berta” stiffens and her eyes start to tear: Is she younger than me? Every day a younger one. Is she 16? 12? He claims she’s her age (which didn’t appear to be true about her, yet another client’s daughter). “Berta” gets more emotional: Is she prettier than me? He purrs No – you’re gorgeous, you’re gorgeous. and he kisses her. [I’m gong to presume that the lousy English subtitling accounts for him calling her “Bebel” here, as I also think he means infatuation, not love.] But she then pushes him away: I won’t see you until you’re through with her! He protests: But it doesn’t exist! How can I be through with something that doesn’t exist? She’s getting angrier: Why did you have to tell me about this? If you told me then it exists! Next you’ll be telling me that only she cares about you! I want you to like only me! If not, no more chess games, no more getting drunk on wine, no more sex whenever you want it! And by the way – I hate wine! And she pours out the wine and smashes the chessboard. He wakes up in bed alone, and then his elderly Jewish partner/mentor, who was his father’s partner, warns him that “Berta” will shoot him one of these days.
But by the next episode, “Yag” by the same three, “Berta” is more conventionally like other Jewish women on TV - too intellectual about sex. As “Mandrake” comes home from a night of wild sex with another young woman, he plays a message on his answering machine from her: Where have you been? I came by just to smell your scent. And then I stayed to study, but I couldn’t concentrate. I kept thinking about our delicious fuck. You are the master of the missionary position. Look, I just left a surprise in your room. You can tell me later if you like it. Kisses. And she’s in his bed naked – reading the Kama Sutra. As he tries to make love to her, she’s full of instructions, this way, that way, he questions, she corrects, she gives names to the positions from diagrams in the book and prattles on with quotes about It’s the conjoining with your yoni. . .the opulence of sex . . . man’s oldest position. . . the reproduction of the fetal state. He begs: Isn’t there something we can do that’s less painful? She screams on about The female! The splendor! No Mandrake No! And when he next sees his legal partner, he tells him once again that he’s in love with another woman.
She’s similarly annoying about sex in the next, 5th episode “Detective”, by the same three writers. Dressed in a leather bustier, she’s driving him crazy with several very odd-looking sex toys. She says they’ll relax him but they do the opposite, as she turns one on: It’s a bi-polar massager, to be used by both of us at once. Somehow, they get turned on anyway, despite his protests when she queries about one Will it fit?, as he takes her from behind. She’s on her way out the next morning, being genial to the housekeeper, when she finds the very young “Bebel” on his doorstep while he’s in the shower. She’s very suspicious, but he can honestly answer that she’s the daughter of a client. Which excuse “Bebel” found riotously funny when they made love on the beach later that day. That night he’s just trying to watch TV in bed with “Berta” and she starts up again – but interrupts herself to complain first about his nose hair, then his eyebrows, and proceeds to trim them.
”Berta” comes over to stay for the weekend while her house is being fumigated in the 6th episode “Atum Vizcaya (Canned Tuna)” by the same three writers. But the phone rings – it’s “Bebel”, which really makes her angry. “Bebel” comes to the apartment and interrupts her yoga routine. But by the time “Mandrake” comes in they are together. He jokes: Is this a home invasion? “Berta” corrects: No, a yoga class. But she continues to be sarcastic about “his friend” - I thought this was my kingdom. “Mandrake” reassures her, calling her “my love”. So “Berta” invites “Bebel” to stay for dinner, but is very condescending to her about introducing her to the gourmet take-out cuisine of Indian food and éclairs, though she isn’t just a jealous hag. His partner “Wexler” is unsympathetic the next morning: You’re 40, take responsibility. . .You’re a lovable bastard. Later, “Berta” is at a restaurant with another man who questions why she is so tense and invites her to a yoga spa in California, as she laughs and very sexily flirts with him: I think it’s what you need. Why don’t you come with me? It will do a world of good for you. Later in “Mandrake”s apartment, the camera focuses on the chessboard, as a reminder that she’s not there.
He keeps looking at that chessboard in the opening of the 7th episode “Kolkata”, by the same three writers, as he’s dreaming about “Berta” and “Bebel” doing it together while he’s on a medically required 48 hours of celibacy. He’s playing a word game with “Bebel”, but she’s not as good at it as “Berta”, and “Bebel” mocks that chessboard. “Berta” sends him a Blue Moon card that now her female libido has been enhanced, then declares This is my night! when she comes to his door with a whip. She claims she needs it as an accessory: Another blue moon won’t occur until 2018. As the Gram Parsons’ song “Love Hurts” plays on the soundtrack, she whips his furniture, crawls on the floor to him, and then is all over him, even as he tries to stop her. I want it. I want it. But he explains he has to abstain. She tries to block him answering the phone: You’re not leaving me like this! So he invites her to the business party he has to go to, where the feature is an update of the kama sutra. She’s quite impressed that the speaker is so knowledgeable about tantric sex, and thoroughly enjoys the demonstration. “Mandrake” starts to get jealous, but she lectures him about his envy. The guru invites her back to his room, but she’s very drunk as he mumbles tantric foreplay. She stretches out on his red silk sheets as he lights incense. He asks if she’s flexible and takes off her leather boots as he prattles on about shiva and synthesis. “Mandrake” walks through the orgy rooms looking for her, and walks in just as he’s getting her naked, as she seems hypnotized by meditation. “Mandrake” gets her out of it as the guru is revealed as a fraud. She keeps insisting it was really only a yoga lesson, as she goes with “Mandrake” to check on “Wexler” at the hospital, but she asks: Are you mad at me? “Mandrake” insists I love you. as they kiss and he keeps a firm hold on her so she can’t get away again. “Wexler” is noncommittal as he professes to “Bebel” and “Berta” that I adore both of you. “Berta” kisses both men good-bye.
In the 8th episode “Ampara”, by the same three writers, “Berta” has come out to their lawyers’ restaurant hang-out with him and “Wexler” after “Mandrake” has been shot and visited him in the hospital. She puffs on a cigar to be one of the boys, as “Wexler” orders champagne for their special guest and flatters her: You have to notice that Berta is a treasure. “Mandrake” again professes her love for her, but she’s suspicious of his motives: What is it? Have you been up to no good? Then she tells him she’s pregnant.
Episode #9 “Brasilia”, by Tony Bellotto, was presented as the continuation of the 1st season in the U.S., but was the opening of the 2nd season originally. “Mandrake” has been telling clients that he can’t leave Rio because of “Berta”s pregnancy and he stocks up on baby name books from a bookstore. He calls her to say he’s coming for dinner, but when he gets there she’s in tears. Though the English subtitles were awkward, she announces that she’s having an abortion: We’re not having this baby. It wouldn’t work out. This is not the right moment. We are hopeful, but I don’t want to. You’re not ready to be a father. I’m not ready to be a mother. We would end up hating each other. I don’t want to lose you because of a baby. I would want a baby with you even more. I’ve already gotten everything set up to get taken care. It will be done tomorrow and I don’t want you to come with me and I don’t want you to see you again after. I’m going to Amsterdam and then I’ll travel. I’d rather you not be at home when I leave. She weeps and he’s stunned. Later in the episode, her words haunt him when he ends up with a call girl (who turned out to be an undercover cop), now that he can leave Rio. At the end he narrates: I still love you Berta, but I think she’s never coming back. I’ll just have to move on.
The 11th episode “Rosas Negras (Black Roses)” by Felipe Braga, is about the last we hear about “Berta”, the sexiest Jewish woman on TV. When “Wexler” asks about her, Mandrake says when he tried to contact her All I got was silence. He tells another ex, who is now a distraught client, that he’s still in love with the woman he almost married. Meanwhile, he gets a postcard from “Bebel” asking if he’s still married or did he get a still younger girlfriend yet. And in this and the last 2 episodes he finds he still can’t say no to women. (updated 10/5/2008)
Rachel Menken and others on Mad Men (on AMC, Thursday nights at 10 pm, repeated frequently and free On Demand on digital cable) Alex Witchel in ‘Mad Men’ Has Its Moment, profiled Matthew Weiner in the 6/22/2008 New York Times and provided an unusually candid look into what goes into casting a Jewish woman character. She describes his role on the series: “Weiner (pronounced WHY-ner) is the creator and show-runner of Mad Men, which means the original idea was his: he wrote the pilot; he writes every episode of every show (along with four other people); he’s the executive producer who haggles for money (he says that his budget is $2.3 million per episode and that the average budget for a one-hour drama is $2.8 million); and he approves every actor, costume, hairstyle and prop. Though he has directed episodes, most of the time he holds a ‘tone meeting’ with the director at which he essentially performs the entire show himself so it’s perfectly clear how he wants it done. He is both ultimate authority and divine messenger, some peculiar hybrid of God and Edith Head. ‘I do not feel any guilt about saying that the show comes from my mind and that I’m a control freak,’ he told me. ‘I love to be surrounded by perfectionists, and part of the problem with perfectionism is that by nature, you’re always failing.’ Weiner describes his parents as “Jewish scientists” - “His father, Leslie P. Weiner, is an acclaimed neuroscientist; the neurological care and research center at the University of Southern California is named for him. His mother, Judith, graduated from law school in the 1970s but never practiced.”
Witchel reports that: “Weiner let me sit in on a casting session, though he prefaced it with a recitation of everything I wasn’t allowed to say. He has reason to be paranoid about auditions; he is convinced they provide the biggest leaks about the show. If actors don’t get cast, they go on the Internet and spill plot details for spite. If they do get cast, their agents exultantly tell everyone in town what’s happening next. But that day, Weiner was prepared. A few roles needed to be filled, including a comic à la Don Rickles who is used in a Sterling Cooper [the fictional agency at the center of the series] ad campaign, and his Jewish wife, who doubles as his manager. Weiner had already seen a woman who interested him for the latter role; none of the actresses today knew that.
For the women auditioning, their “sides” (a scene without context) said their dialogue was with a character named Trent Cresswell. Though his name sounded like a porn star’s and seemed to have become a fast office joke, it was code, in this case, for one of the male leads. . . Weiner sat on a black leather couch, [casting directors Carrie] Audino and [Laura] Schiff at a table, videotaping each reading. Weiner was so engrossed during the auditions that he seemed to be listening with his spine. His eyes were unnervingly piercing. After the first actress left, he said, ‘I love her, but this woman is not in show business.’ ‘Yes, but it’s an interesting color,’ Audino began. ‘Listen, she’s really good,’ Weiner said. ‘But she’s got a class thing. It makes me nervous.’
The next woman came in. Long legs, long arms, lots of hair. The scene was a telephone conversation with Trent Cresswell that included the line ‘I like being bad and then going home and being good.’ Weiner said he heard it from a woman he sat next to once on a plane. After her first reading, the actress leaned toward Weiner. ‘What are you looking for?’ she asked intently. He didn’t take the bait. ‘Everything that’s in there,’ he said evenly. ‘It shouldn’t sound sexy; the words are sexy. It’s declarative. This is who I am.’ She did it again — exactly the way she did it the first time.. . .’Actors seem to feel the need to add more to make the show sound like it looks. They seem to want to make it period, but they don’t need to.’
Weiner liked the next woman, who happened to be a peroxide blonde, which he didn’t like. She can dye her hair, he said. But Audino and Schiff said no, she couldn’t, she had another job. Weiner got instantaneously angry. ‘I would hate to get attached to someone and find I can’t use them,’ he said, his voice escalating. Audino made some peace, offering the option of a rinse instead of a dye. ‘We’ll make it work for you,’ she said in a tone that simultaneously soothed him and goofed on him. ‘I’m warning you of a potential issue, maybe. Let’s not freak out about it.’ He heard both sides of her tone and calmed down as readily as he’d angered.. . .
Another actress came in to read the Trent Cresswell scenes. When she left, Weiner looked transported. ‘That’s exactly how it sounded in my head,’ he said, as Audino and Schiff chimed in support. Just as suddenly, Weiner changed tacks. ‘She’s been altered,’ he said with a tone of doom. ‘She looks very contemporary to me.’ She certainly had the phoniest looking breasts on the block, though given the costumes, that wouldn’t matter. Was it her nose? They queued up her audition on the laptop and Weiner zeroed in. ‘It’s her lips,’ he said. He was right. In 1961, no one got collagen shots. The last actress read, this one naturally gorgeous and thoroughly great.
After she left, Weiner reviewed the auditions on the laptop. The peroxide blonde came up. ’I’m looking for Jewish,” he said, holding his hands up to the screen to block her hair. ‘She looks to me like the Queen of Sweden.’ By now, it was 7:30 in the evening. “If you want them to be at the table read, we have to tell them tonight,” Audino said. “What I really want to do is take these home and show my wife,” [Jewish?] “Linda Brettler, an architect . . . She supported him when he was broke, and she is now his most-important sounding board. ‘Every single script goes through my wife. She inevitably says, ‘What is it about?’ We talk about it and I’m always angry when she’s talking.’ He didn’t look angry, he looked glad, as he always does when he talks about his wife. ‘She’s chewing gum and taking her time. She went to Harvard, she’s really smart and I just stand there literally with my hands out like — ‘What?’ I argue with her, and I always swear I’m not going to show it to her again because I’m so defensive. I mean, my writers come up with lots of good ideas, but she is really something.’] Weiner answered, looking miserable. Clearly, there wasn’t time. He went down the hall and rounded up half a dozen people to watch the tapes. They . . . voted for the naturally gorgeous, thoroughly great actress. Weiner seemed dispirited. ‘O.K., I’ll hire the beautiful woman,’ he said. Problem solved. For about 30 seconds. He shook his head. ‘I just don’t want it to look like a TV show.’ At 7:45 it was official. He chose the woman he saw before that day’s auditions.”
When this episode, co-written with Rick Cleveland and directed by Lesli Linka Glatter, aired as “The Benefactor”, the character “Bobbie Barrett” was played by Melinda McGraw and there was no specific confirmation she was Jewish, though it was always clear her husband was Jewish. So while I conservatively considered her a putative Jewish woman character, based on the evidence, Weiner always saw her as Jewish, as in this insightful interview with Alan Sepinwall of The Newark Star Ledger, posted 10/26/2008, he compares “Rachel Menken” and “Bobbie Barrett” and their relationship to the lead character: “’The common denominator maybe is my idea of what woman Don goes with. When we were casting Melinda McGraw for Bobbie, I told the casting directors I wanted Suzanne Pleshette, and I got her -- in spades. Rachel Menken, these are all individuals, but they're all types. . . .’ Q: On fans' dislike of Bobbie Barrett: A: ‘People were upset about Bobbie Barrett, that she wasn't Rachel Menken, and I'm like, she's not Rachel Menken, and he's not in love with her, and he says no. But he should never have slept with that woman. It was really just a medication. She offered him something he wasn't getting at home, but it was really just a medication.’ Q: I want [to . . . talk[] about the other somewhat sexually violent moment of the season, which was Don grabbing Bobbie Barrett by the reins.’ “
I don't see that as sexually violent.’ A: ‘I didn't necessarily either, but some people interpreted it that way. I know, it's fantastic, but I'd love to talk about it, because I really sort of didn't. To me, that is sexually violent in the sense that 9 1/2 Weeks is sexually violent. A sadomasochistic relationship is about power as much as sex. Bobbie Barrett is playing in the same world as Don, and I think what she's saying to him is 'I slept with you, so you have to do what I say,' and what Don is saying is, 'No, I slept with you.' As uncomfortable as it may be for people, they go on to have a relationship, and it's based on their knowledge of their inner selves. To me, you can look at is as a perversion or as violence, but there are sexual relationships based on power, it was specific to them, and I think Bobbie Barrett was extremely aroused by what that experience, by Don being in charge. . . .Even though Don was getting what he wanted, in a cold way, it's literally two people -- she was the aggressor in the car, and then he calls her on the phone with his kids there and lays down the law, but she drops this bomb and says ‘I liked being bad and going home and being good.’ You see Don being rolled into this thing. You don't know how much they're both using it for business to get what they want, but I saw it as, here's what always happens, and you can't have it both ways. . . I always take it from character. I'm not speaking from a philosophical sense about these characters. They're not symbols. The more you know about Bobbie Barrett, and the more you know about Don, it probably should have happened in the bedroom, it was in public, but that's the currency of their relationship. Yeah, there's violence to it, as there is to him tying her up, and to him telling her to stop talking, and to them treating each other like s--t, and bossing each other around and having sex in the car. It's a side of Don that is part of what people find attractive about him. I think that, as there is with a lot of sexual situations, there's an incredible huge flag of judgment that comes up on the surface with people, and then there's this bubbling thing in the background that is, ‘Why can't I stop thinking about that?’ And it's about the bedroom. You try to think just as animals, it's two people working it out that way. I'm not trying to be incendiary about it, or insensitive. Certainly, my god, that is not behavior that should be emulated in any respect, it is a complete violation. But with these two people and their relationship and the history they had with each other, it was very natural and believable, and also kind of showed a ruthlessness on both their parts. She could have gone in and not done what Don said, too. I believe it was titillating for her. That's what I meant, that's that the actress was told, that's what I meant it to be.’”
Weiner "dishes on the show's Jewish characters” with Jody Rosen in a “Mad Mensches” podcast from 10/24/2008. (updated 10/31/2008)
Jenny Schecter in the 5th Season of The L Word (on Showtime, repeated frequently and On Demand, and will be repeated on Logo Channel. Deleted scenes not covered here. Out on DVD.) “Jenny”s back from her “cruise” – and is even more the villain. “LGB Tease” by Ilene Chaiken opened the season with her re-writing “Lez Girls”, the adaptation of her roman a clef, and the thinly veiled characterizations are nastily centered around her and reflecting silly stereotypes of lesbians. But she’s cooing over a hedge fund billionaire, played by Wallace Shawn, who is bankrolling the film and gives her creative control, not just on the script but directing too. Still fixating on her dog, she mistreats her assistant into quitting (the final straw is insisting that the assistant can work around her Sunday schedule by attending a different church service in the afternoon) and barely acknowledges her former friends. She makes clear her revenge to “Tina”, who is ostensibly supervising the film for the studio: If it was up to you, I would never be allowed on the set. . .I’ve never been treated so badly before. You treated me like a pariah. You were trying to get ahead by using my creation. . .I will never take any of your sticky notes into account.
In “Look Out, Here They Come”, by Cherien Dabis, the producer orders “Jenny” to add more lesbian sex to the film, even as “Tina” objects to the unrealistic pairings: Nobody cares what you think Tina. Then she gets set up for what is clearly a take-off of All About Eve Her friends in the café shelter a young woman, “Adele”, who is reading the book: Jennifer Schecter is my favorite author. and is thrilled to be introduced to her roommate “Max”. Obnoxious “Jenny”, wearing a lot of make-up, comes in aflutter: It’s such a fucking nightmare. My assistant quit on me. and on and one with petty complaints about the producer’s daughter’s wedding and present she has to buy. “Adele” is over the moon to meet her literary idol, despite “Jenny”s rudeness, including getting her name wrong. The girl gushes that she adapted the book into a screenplay as a student project at the University of Southern Florida. She goes on how the book saved my life through difficult times. . . .I found everything I could read by Jennifer Schecter. . I’m so honored to meet you. “Jenny” enlists her to buy the wedding gift and starts ordering her around to accompany her shopping. “Jenny” makes an inappropriate entrance at the wedding when the bride is supposed to be coming down the aisle, and wearing a ridiculous ballooning black dress. “Adele” comes after with an inappropriately huge wedding gift box, topped off by a piece of cake that “Jenny” tastes and nastily rejects. “Jenny” dances with her sugar daddy, cooing Do you know you’re the only man in my life? She reports “Adele’s compliments: I think our movies is going to have an impact on people.William is so grateful to be involved with this movie.. He think it’s going to redeem all those vulgar things he did to make his money. “Adele” sycophants: Yes it will. You are just so amazing for showing him the error of his ways. “Jenny” offers her the assistant’s job and “Adele” gives her a big hug in excitement. “Jenny” is disdainful: Careful with the dress!
In “Lady in the Lake” by Chaiken, “Alice” is having a satirical dream about “Jenny”. She imagines they are Charlie’s Angels with gaydar guns, and the gun can’t figure out whether “Jenny” is gay, straight, bi or what. Fully awake, “Tina” sneers that “Jenny” is freakish with her new assistant, as “Adele” waits on her hand and foot at the gym. “Jenny” says she’s in training for a difficult breast cancer benefit run that requires considerable training, even as they all sign up in solidarity for their friend who died of breast cancer.
In “Let’s Get This Party Started”, by Elizabeth Ziff, “Jenny” is bragging: All the lesbians in Hollywood want to be in my movie. . .I was disappointed that Natalie Portman passed on the lead role. I thought the implication was as much about Portman being Jewish to play her, as anything about sexual orientation, but she objects to a beautiful woman playing her. “Tina” points out that the actress she wants is not fuckable. . .It’s important to have an actress who looks like she enjoys kissing a woman. The producer claims he’s already conferred with the financier, and he prefers this actress to Portman. The assistant makes excuses, that “Jenny” is fragile because she’s quitting smoking. But “Jenny” insists that “Adele” should call the financier again, and again., and squeals that she’s getting an expensive watch from him because he’s thrilled with the casting: She’s going to ruin my fucking movie! “Adele” wants her to go to a new club, the Shebar, and “Jenny” tries to get in by saying she’s a director who wants to use the club in her movie. The actress, “Niki”, who has been hired against her wishes also shows us, invited by the duplicitous “Adele”, and confesses that she’s not “out” in Hollywood, but how much she wants to be in her film – It’s my life! It’s so true! The character is me! “Jenny” capitulates: It means something that you are saying all these things. I don’t give a fuck that you’re gay. “Niki” enthuses more, promising: I will give everything to this role. . .I want you to want me. You are the director.
In “Lookin’ At You Kid”, written and directed by Angela Robinson, ”Jenny” presides over the first table read of the script of her film, announcing: My name is Jenny Schecter. I am the writer and I’m also the director. I’m thrilled to have all you guys here. It’s the culmination of so much for me. Later she eyes a young woman trying on costumes who is talking a mile a minute in Valley Girl-ese and aks: Do you have a girlfriend?, but later backs off, explaining I have to be a big girl and be serious about my work.. She tries to explain her character to the actress, but has to simplify her references, including explaining what Svengali means. She also starts demanding that her little dog should be in the film: I think he’s ready. While her friends snidely call “Adele” her “indentured servant”, she mocks “Adele”s taste but effuses I can’t imagine what life would be like without her. As the friends meet their actress counterparts, most of whom are “gay for pay”, they vent about the script. “Bette”, who is bi-racial, grouses about Jenny’s warped interpretation of me. . It’s fiction. . She really thinks Jenny’s idiotic drivel reflects me. . I am flabbergasted that she cast such a fucking white actress. But “Jenny”, who is getting a bit drunk, charges ahead in explaining a scene that self-servingly re-lives her gay awakening: You have just met the most alluring. . intoxicating woman of your whole life. . .You’re going like insane. . Then ;you remember that you have this man named Jim who likes to swim, so what are you going to do? She reenacts out the seductress’s role to the actress playing her, and kisses and fondles her all over, in the bathroom. And on into the bedroom, then into a closet, giggling as they undress, kiss and caress each other, as “Jenny” notes: The irony hasn’t escaped me.
In “Lights! Camera! Action!”, written and directed by Ilene Chaiken, “Jenny” is directing rehearsal, teaching the actress how to tongue kiss and finger a woman: It would be nice if you looked like you were actually giving her pleasure. . . than sewing up a hole in her jeans. . . You guys really don’t know how to fuck a woman! I am getting a lesbian sex coach to teach you! In a joke on the actually filming of this series, “Jenny” gets nasty about shooting in Vancouver, rather than in Los Angeles and rants to a studio executive: I don’t think you know how to treat artists! “Adele” saves the day by texting her sugar daddy. “Jenny” wants to celebrate by giving her a make-over, out of the wardrobe budget: The appliqué on the back your jeans was declared an abomination by the Geneva convention! “Jenny” marvels at the movie set: All this because of a few words I put on a page!-- and already she’s an hour and half behind schedule, as “Jenny” acquiesces when the lead actress makes objections, fumbles simple instructions like “action” and isn’t paying attention during scenes. She only pays attention when the actress, “Niki”, changes a line of “my script,” but “Niki” is incredulous that the character could have been that naïve. She petulant storms off to her trailer: We hooked up the other night, Jenny. Now you’re treating me like any other actress. “Jenny” calmly explains she’s avoiding gossip: But when you walked on the set today, I really wanted to kiss you. and she does, again, they smile and head to the couch. But they don’t realize that “Niki’s mike is still on and the whole crew is listening in to their conjugation. As the sugar daddy comes to the set, “Adele” claims to him that this romance “saved the movie”. The producer protests but “Jenny” tears up to “William” He’s being mean to me! . . .Niki is so fragile! “William” coos: Don’t be mean to my baby!. . .If there’s anyone who can take a fragile person and put her back together, it’s you. While “Tina” darkly notes that by fucking the star, she’s fucking herself, “Adele” gets her hair cut like “Jenny”s.
In “Lesbians Gone Wild”, by Elizabeth Ziff, “Jenny” again shows her ignorance of filmmaking, as she’s suspicious of the making of the electronic press kit and DVD extras, as she and her lead actress freak out: Get the fuck off my set! She flirts with “Niki” to get her in the mood for the scene, as they kiss behind the trailers. Later, though she’s due for a meeting with the producer, she kicks everyone out of the trailer so they can have sex. “Tina” explains to “Bette” where “Jenny” and “Niki” are: Oh, yeah. They fuck in her trailer every day during lunch. The whole crew knows, and Adele stands outside to guard. It's insane. While they are in bed naked making love, a scandal is swirling that “Niki” has been outed and the producers are panicked about the marketing problem. Meanwhile, “Niki” goes on about wanting children with “Jenny”, who is flattered: No one’s every said that to me before. . .Let’s get the fuck out of L.A. It’s a terrible place. Do you think that we should stop fucking over lunch? . . .Do you think that they might notice? “Niki:: Mm-mm. I don't care if they notice. . . Because. “Jenny”:What? What? What? “Niki”: I love you. “Jenny” responds: I’m going to give you a hicky right now. “Adele” craftily suggests the couple go to a club for “Turkish Oil Wrestling” and encourages them to get into the ring together. (I can’t tell which track on the soundtrack sounded vaguely Middle Eastern while they were in the ring together, which would have a leit motif similarity to earlier recollections of “Jenny”s Jewishness – or it could have to do with the outlandishly named sport, though fans have identified that it’s Prodigy’s “Smack My Bitch Up”.) Amidst the slo mo wrestling, they share a victory kiss, with “Jenny” finally reciprocating: I love you!
Jenny is still oblivious in “Lay Down the Law” by Alexandra Kondracke. “Tina” tries to fill her in on the crisis, but she’s going on about the right colors and jewelry for each character and insists: I’m not done with my meeting! But there’s photos all over the tabloids about the wrestling match and “Niki”s managers want to pull her from the film. “Jenny” insists: She’s fucking me. “Tina” retorts: Not unless you grow a dick. “Jenny” joins the weeping “Niki” in her trailer as she protests: They’re making me! I want to go with you so bad! “Jenny” yells at the manager: I don’t care about you! Do you think this is fucking 1952 where you can give her a beard and pretend that she’s straight? You should be ashamed of yourself! The manager is frosty: I’m not even going to go into the questionable ethics of you screwing your underage star of your film. “Niki”: But I love her! I do! The manager continues: But if you so deeply care for Niki and your mission is to make the first star-driven movie about lesbians, you’re not going to destroy the career of the star upon whose success this movie hinges. “Jenny” raves on to him as she comforts the weeping “Niki”: He’s not even a fucking human being – he’s an agent. When they are told to cover up “Niki”s hickey, “Jenny” retorts: Change your fucking tie. Meanwhile, “Bette” sympathizes with another actress, calling the film: Jenny’s masturbatory opus. “Jenny” is then barred from a premiere, even as she frantically texts “Niki”, while her assistant “Adele” lies and tells “Niki” to give a big kiss to the cute beard she’s attending with – putting “Jenny” into tears.
Filming is continuing in the next episode “Liquid Heat” by Chaiken. “Jenny” is directing a love scene between “Niki” and the actor playing her-about-to-be-ex. She’s explaining the characters and relationships, but does it in terms of her feelings, as the point when she was realized that she didn’t like sex with a “hairy man”. But “Jenny” gets upset when she realizes the “Niki” is getting turned on by making out with a guy. She shouts: But you don’t like fucking him! Then realizing what really happened there: Did you fuck him? “Niki” has a lame excuse: I was drunk. I’m so sorry. “Jenny” very hypocritically scolds the actor that it was unprofessional for him to have sex with his co-star: It was a vile and desperate act. You’re fired! He walks off the set naked. The producer and sugar daddy make her apologize to the crew, the first time she’s made such a concession: I know that you've been talking about me. So, I just wanna say, yes, it's true. I did lose my temper. And now I'm on my way to apologize to Mr. Fallen, and I have made a mistake. And the dumb-shit actor boy is no longer fired. Similarly, she at first refuses to hire a bully’s lover for a part, but then concedes. “Adele” continues to manipulate the two women, as they make up, kiss, apologize, declare their love and make love on the movie set, amidst every other couple on the set also having an orgy of sex.
For episode #60 “Lifecycle” written and directed by Angela Robinson, the editor at tv.com summarized a deleted scene that was posted on the Showtime web site, which “takes place in L.A. before the Pink Ride. Niki is filming with her new video camera, given to her by Jenny, of Adele packing Jenny's things for the ride while Jenny lounges on the bed. Niki complements [sic] Adele on her bone structure, causing Jenny to ask ‘Are you flirting with Adele?’ Niki responds, ‘Maybe.’ Niki throws Adele on the bed and tells Jenny that they kissed the other night. ‘It was really hot.’ Shane pops her head in the doorway to ask if the girls are ready yet. Niki then starts to flirt with Shane, saying the she's noticed Shane looking at her. ‘You think?", Shane asks. Jenny notions [sic] Niki and her camera to her and says, ‘They can't have you -- you're mine.’" At the start of the bike ride to raise awareness for breast cancer, “Jenny” and “Niki” kiss, though “Tina” is upset that they’re being seen together when they get asked for autographs. “Jenny”s view of the bike ride is that My pussy is so numb. “Jenny” later gives “Niki” a present for both of us -- a purple penis. “Niki” decides to film her with it, directing her to strip, while they tell each other they’re beautiful, and thereby probably fulfilling many fantasies of the male viewers of the show. Strapping on the penis, they yell y yell their declarations of love for each other. The image of them silhouetted against the side of the tent is captured on film as “Adele” takes the footage out of the camera. “Jenny” confides in “Niki”: My friends think I’m out of my mind for falling in love with you. . .Are we actually going to make it? “Niki” swears her fealty forever.
In #61, the penultimate episode of the season, “Lunar Cycle” by Chaiken, ”Jenny” is in the editing room, and annoys her friends: Please don’t fight! I can’t stand when sisters do that. But “Alice” snaps back: Don’t direct! But “Jenny” is all upset when the footage of her with the purple penis is shown to the producers: This was a private tape. . it’s not an abomination! Turns out “Adele”s purpose is blackmail. She lectures about the importance of the movie – and that she’s already talked to the financial backer: It mustn’t be tainted by scandal, by reckless (& ?) behavior of the few people entrusted with this opportunity!. . .The situation has become untenable! “Jenny” protests: They are trying to ruin this movie!. . .If anyone has any integrity, you can come with me. You can stand up to these people! Who wants to come with me? Who’s with me? “Shane” does go with her. She weepily begs “Niki”, but her manager points out she’s under contract. “Adele” takes over as director, even as “Jenny” insists it is still “our movie!”. As Alice Cooper’s “Only Women Bleed” plays on the soundtrack, she smokes a bong with “Shane” and moans over and over that “Niki” is “dead to me”. . .Never again will I avail myself to someone with such generosity and an open heart. [TV.com caught additional dialogue I didn’t: “’and show her the ropes and teach her everything that I know.’ Shane: ‘Don't let Adele do that to you, Jenny.’ Jenny: ‘I'm talking about Niki.’ Shane: ‘Oh, fuck Niki.’ Jenny: ‘I did.;” . . I’m not in love with her any more. . She’s dead to me. . .She’s like the wicked witch. She weeps as “Shane” declares she’s her best friend, then she declares to “Max”: Adele” has fucked me over.
In the season finale, “Loyal and True” by Chaiken, “Tina” updates “Jenny” on the movie’s distribution and how “Niki” is crying that her calls are not returned and keeps asking about her. “Jenny” is self-pitying: I don’t have a career any more. My agent’s just dropped me. I don’t want to be with someone who can’t be what she is. I’m fine. But do you think I should call her? “Adele” revenges on “Tina” for meeting with “Jenny”, but “Jenny” manages to get into the wrap party to interrupt her thank you speech: You stole it! Her friends even cheer her on: >I>We love you Jenny! “Jenny” defends herself: I realize the movie is out of my hands now. I hope people trusted with this responsibility will merit it. (not sure that’s accurate) She thanks her friends, kisses “Niki” and announces: I am madly in love with someone. It’s changed the way I feel about all of this. Thank you for putting up with me. I think she was saying this to the TV audience as well, as for the first time she not only sounded classy but looked classy. But then “Shane” is down on “Niki”, etc., just as “Jenny” is calling for her and looking for her—and finds her: Oh my God! What are you doing! “Shane” tries to apologize. “Jenny” protests: It’s the ultimate betrayal. You’ve broken my heart. And if that’s not bad enough, “Adele” has caved in on changing the ending of the movie, making the lead character go back to her boyfriend and declare she’s not gay. “Tina” is furious: This was the movie that was going to change all that! “Adele” is philosophical: The movie is full of lesbians! So over the seasons, Chaiken has changed “Jenny” from damaged to villainous to obnoxious and now she’s supposed to be sympathetic? At least we no longer hear vaguely klezmerish music when she appears on screen so her Jewish identity has pretty much been dropped as happens with most Jewish women characters over the long term of TV series. (updated 10/25/2008)
Rhonda Pearlman on The Wire (on HBO) is still with the African-American "Major Cedric Daniels". She gives him a kiss in the courthouse the first episode of this last season “More With Less” – just after blithely giving a murderous drug dealer directions to the criminal court offices. Then in “Not For Attribution” by Chris Collins and David Simon, she’s very efficiently undertaking the grand jury investigation of the state senator, making the high-powered witnesses cool their heels until she efficiently dispatches them. She’s excited that the newspaper is reporting that “Cedric” is being considered to be top cop: This is good news! How’s this not good news? Ah, he hasn’t been fully honest with her, because he goes to his almost-ex-wife the councilwoman, worried about the stuff that could come out about his past in the Eastern district that could reflect badly on her too. Next in “Transitions” by Simon and Ed Burns, “Rhonda” and her new boss are in no mood to follow the suggestion of the knowledgeable detective who walked her through the state senator’s corrupt accounts to take the real case with the real murdering drug dealer up to the Federal level. When The Baltimore Sun editor is surprised to accidentally catch news of the grand jury through a perp walk on TV and his new reporters are equally ignorant, he turns to the bitter, grizzled, old cop beat reporter who is packing up his desk after being summarily laid off in budget cuts, who quickly gives an efficient summary of “Ronnie Pearlman”s career (I hadn’t heard anyone call her by that nickname before), including that she’s now “shacking up” with “Cedric.”
In “React Quotes” by David Mills and David Simon, she is angry about the lack of newspaper coverage of the press conference for her indictment of a state senator, as is the reporter about not getting called for the perp walk. But it turns out the reporter she had left a message for left four months earlier. By the end of the episode she has fallen hook, line and sinker for “McNulty”s serial killer ruse and she eagerly gets a judge to sign the orders for the to-be-misdirected wire tap: Good hunting! She continues being enthusiastically duped by her ex-lover in “The Dickensian Aspect”, by Ed Burns and David Simon, as she petitions a judge to wiretap a reporter (who is just as duplicitous as “McNulty”) to no avail, and warns him: How many enemies do you need? It’s a bit uncomfortable as her current lover joins them in the courthouse lobby – and gets worse when he hands her copies of leaked grand jury testimony. The team continues to hide the truth from her when she happens to come by the squad “to cover loose ends” such that she ends up apologizing for intruding. Her boss pulls rank on her big case, saying he wants to handle the trial of the state senator himself. But she pulls out the copied testimony: We have a leak. (updated 6/26/2008)
Ziva David on NCIS -- (on CBS, Tuesdays at 8 pm. This season out on DVD.) Ironically, Cote de Pablo was nominated for a 2008 ALMA award (“Spanish for ‘spirit’ or ‘soul’ which represents the determined spirit of the Latino people in an effort to reflect the spirit as well as the scope of the awards program”). from The National Council of La Raza as Outstanding Actress In A Drama Television Series for her performance in this role. “Bury Your Dead” by Shane Brennan opened the season with “McGee” being sarcastic about her family: Since my parents raised a gentleman and yours a killer. . .Do you believe in miracles Ziva? She gives a wistful response amidst her worry for their colleague: It’s not a part of my training.
In “Ex-File” according to TV.com: “The Hebrew rap song Ziva listens to at the beginning of the episode is "Bela Belisima" by the Dag Nahash. The song praises Bela Froind, an [O]rthodox woman who stopped a public lynching of a terrorist on May 12th 1992. The Palestinian terrorist, Adnan Al-Afandi stabbed two Israeli teenagers in a market in Jerusalem, then the public attacked him. Froind la[y] on the body of the terrorist to prevent his murder until the police arrived.” In the script by Alfonso H. Moreno, “McGee” continues his analysis of her character, as in earlier episodes: Behind the torture and the contract killings, Ziva, you’re really just a. . She challenges him: A what? He, pointedly: A whom. A girl. In “Family” by Steven D. Binder, she similarly remonstrates “Tony” about him missing a woman he romanced while on an undercover operation. He: The heart wants what it wants. She retorts: Well, it shouldn’t. He: This from the woman who fell in love with the dead man walking.
In “Identity Crisis” by Jesse Stern, she is unexpectedly kind to a newbie woman colleague who admires her: I wish I had your confidence. “Ziva”: It comes from experience. In “Designated Target” by Reed Steiner, “Tony” is getting tired of “Ziva”s vernacular malapropisms: How long have you been in this country? Assimilate already! They later debate his grandparents’ immigrant experience vs. hers: As opposed to outsourcing, which is what you are. In “Lost and Found” by David J. North, “Tony” has to explain another pop culture reference: It’s a href="http://mavensnest.net/dames.html#lifetime">Lifetime, the cable network geared to women. You’d hate it. In a competition with “Tony”, she counters: I’m a trained assassin.
”Ziva” is learning American slang by taking a film course in “Tribes” by Reed Steiner. Entering a mosque, she is respectful to the Muslim father of the dead Marine: I am Jewish. I do understand traditions. During the unauthorized MRI examination of the victim to respect avoidance of an autopsy, she offers him tea and he at first demurs. He asks: You’re an Israeli Jew, no? She confirms. He notes I used to take my family to Haifa.. “Ziva”: I spent my summers in Haifa. He takes the tea, and he compliments her: You make it Arab style, strong. She chuckles: I like strong. Father: You like Muslims? She confirms. He: May I ask why? I don’t wish to offend you. Just curious. She explains: When you grow up in Israel, most of your neighbors are Muslim. My best friend was Muslim Arab. He was a young boy. We were very close. Father: You still close? “Ziva”: No he was killed when I was 12. By an Israeli missile strike on a hotel. Father: There’s been too much killing. She concurs. Sweet, but I’m not sure it makes a lot of factual sense.
In “Internal Affairs”, by Reed Steiner and Jesse Stern, are more references to “Ziva”s image, both her toughness and her malapropisms: I would hate to be misunderstood.. An FBI agent asks her: Does this happen often? “Ziva”s half-serious response: Once in a blue lagoon. He also challenges her about a suspect: Were you there to kill him? Her solemn response: It’s what I do. She colorfully solves a mysterious death: In Mossad, we call it a thumb tap as she mimes a gun shot to the head. In the Zone” by Linda Burstyn continued in the same vein. “Tony” brags about being in one of Saddam’s palaces after Baghdad was liberated. She shrugs: Me too – before Baghdad was liberated. Her competitive edge against women colleagues comes out as she discourages an uptight agent from getting the back-to-Baghdad assignment: as quoted by the editor at tv.com: “’Nikki, it is dirty there. Sanitation is very poor. And diseases – have you ever heard of leishmaniasis? It begins with a large, oozing sore, often in the face. And then it just.’(makes slurping sound) ‘Oh! I have photos I can show you.’ Nikki: ‘No! Thank you for your concern, but I still... really want to go.’ Ziva: In that case, I hope you can handle competition a lot better... than you can handle... handles.’ (Opens door for Nikki)” She’s so intent on getting the assignment that she flattens a stress ball that’s tossed to her, even as a competitor sneers My contacts are still breathing. Her boss isn’t convinced anyway: Sending an Israeli to Baghdad? I don’t think so.
But we see a very different side of “Ziva” in” Recoil”, teleplay by George Schenck and Frank Cardea, story by Dan E. Fesman. The plot is twisty, but I’m focusing on her emotional arc so I will post a detailed commentary at some point. (updated 10/5/2008)
Charlotte “Chuck” Charles on Pushing Daisies -- (on ABC, both seasons on DVD). The lead character’s childhood crush-next-door was immediately identified in the first episode “Pie-lette” by creator Bryan Fuller as “a Jewish girl”, and re-emphasized at the rabbi-led funeral of her father (whose death he had accidentally caused as he was just learning about his unique power to foil and cause death), though that was forgotten in the second and last season. All grown up, she is charmingly played in this delightful fantasy by wide-eyed Anna Friel. Presumably also Jewish are her beloved, eccentric, cheese-loving aunts “Vivian” (Ellen Greene) and one-eyed “Lily” (Swoozie Kurtz), the former “Darling Mermaid Darlings” synchronized swimming “underwater artistes” duo. Plucky and enterprising even while staying at home to care for them with their disabling personality disorders, she harvests honey for the homeless and reads a lot of books. Killed on a cruise as the “Lonely Tourist” to Tahiti innocently smuggling statues, she is awoken like Sleeping Beauty by the touch of her Prince Charming, pie-making “Ned” (handsome Lee Pace) – who to keep her alive can never touch her again. (His detective partner just dismissively refers to her as “Dead Girl”.) They devise various modes to cope as they gaze longingly at each other, from a Plexiglas divider in the car to large amounts of plastic wrap. But she spunkily joins in on his reward-seeking murder investigations, with a great deal of sympathy for the deceased. That she’s “an unOrthodox urban honey pioneer”, as described in “Pigeon” by Rina Mimoun, could have been a pun, as they rooftop danced together in full beekeeper regalia. “Smell of Success” by Scott Nimenfro had another pun. When the narrator relates that the aunts are making their way through slides of happier times from the past, “Aunt Vivian” sadly comments: Remember when we went to Hebrew Feta Fest? When I saw the picture the first thing I thought is that I miss Charlotte. The slide is of the grinning young “Charlotte” wearing a bright T-shirt lettered “Jews for Cheeses” surrounded by Jewish stars. (Will ABC be selling those shirts? I want one, even though we’re now lactose intolerant.) It sure looked like production designer Michael Wylie put a picket fence Hanukkah menorah in front of “Chuck”s house when “Ned” was diorama dreaming of holidays at their respective houses. When she’s mourning her father at the cemetery in “Corpsicle” by Lisa Joy, she helpfully points out to “Ned”: There’s no headstone for me yet. We wait a year. (updated 7/21/2009)
The Sarah Silverman Program (on Comedy Central, Wednesdays at 10:30 pm, repeated overnight and other nights. 6 episodes this fall, another 10 next summer. ) On Late Night 10/2/2007 promoting the show, David Letterman asked if her character was just a dumber version of herself. She demurred, explaining that her character is: An earnest, ignorant, arrogant asshole. She then went on doing shtick about her parents as “comedy gold”, with her dad’s radio commercials for his “Crazy Sophie’s Factory Outlet” clothing store especially inspiring her work, and here’s her kibbutznik sister’s rabbinical view. In a review of a study of jokes that includes a few JAP jokes “that could get [author Jim Holt] a stern letter from the women’s division of the Anti-Defamation League”, which in itself is a condescending protest, Joseph Epstein in the 7/11/2008 The Wall Street Journal explains how Sarah gets away with her un-PC humor: “hiding behind the mask of a faux naïve Jewish American Princess, [she] specializes in telling dangerous jokes—about black teenage pregnancy, the Holocaust, the crucifixion-and has lived not only to go on telling them but to collect handsome fees for doing so.” Nominated in 2007 for a Writers’ Guild of America award for Best New Series, and one of its online extras “Program Nugget” was nominated for an Emmy in 2008 in the “Outstanding Special Class - Short-Format Live-Action Entertainment Programs” category. She was also Emmy-nominated in 2008 for playing “Marci Maven” on Monk in the episode “Monk and His Biggest Fan”, repeating a character she had first played in the 2004 episode “Mr. Monk and the TV Star” - that I’m not sure why I didn’t comment on either time except maybe the character didn’t strike me as being explicitly ID’d as Jewish. (updated 8/4/2008)
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Susie Greene etc. (on HBO, repeated frequently On Demand again, and in syndication on TV Guide Channel. On DVD.) Gina Gershon was back only in “The Anonymous Donor” as “Ann” the sexy Orthodox Jewish dry cleaner, with the unbuttoned silk blouse and a chai necklace, whose customer relations are like: I could give a shit if it was Santa Claus. In this largely improv, heavily edited series that follows creator Larry David’s outline, Susie Essman was entertainingly back frequently as the foul-mouthed “Susie Greene,” reconciled this season as the wife of his best friend. She continued as the conscience who loudly and fearlessly chastises the inconsiderate and misanthropic “Larry David” character. Her most frequent conversational gambit is “Fuck you.” When she came over to complain about “Larry” damaging her daughter’s teddy bear, she gained an admirer in “Leon” the satirically ghetto brother of the hurricane victim family the Davids are sheltering: I like a woman with a smart ass mouth like that. A theme throughout the season was her preparation for her daughter “Sammie”s bat mitzvah. She has a very funny argument with “Larry” in “The Freak Book” as they try to settle on their cemetery plans, about who do they want to be next to for eternity. In “The N Word” her husband “Jeff” tries to argue hospital malpractice when an African-American surgeon is so upset by “Larry”s inadvertent use of the title slur that he ends up revengefully shaving him bald – but his claim that seeing him bald turned his sweet wife into a witch gets quickly undercut. Her persona is similarly amusingly satirized when, in “The Bat Mitzvah” finale, “Larry”s house guest turned replacement partner defends him by giving “Susie” as good as she gets in kind, satirizing both Black and Jewish women loud mouth stereotypes. That’s certainly something his WASPy ex-“Cheryl” didn’t do for him. (updated 7/24/2008) Disclaimer: I only learned in late 2009 that Emmy-nominated executive producer David Mandel is my second cousin once removed.
Nip/Tuck– Rachel Ben Natan (on FX, Tuesdays 10 pm, repeated overnight and later on Fridays and Sundays, goes a few minutes over an hour) Nip/Tuck in its 5th season episode “Duke Collins” by Lyn Greene and Richard Levine introduced another arc about an unusual Jewish woman, this time the Israeli Rachel Ben Natan (played by Maggie Siff, unrecognizable from notably playing another Jewish “Rachel” last season in Mad Men), who has been helping the plastic surgeons’ son “Matt” recover from meth lab burns. When I get a chance, I’ll transcribe her crisp dialogue about bearing the scars from a terrorist attack in a pizzeria: I sat across the table from a very handsome boy who blew himself up.
The next episode was named for her, by Jennifer Salt (who has tended to write the Jewish-themed episodes), where she could benefit from the Hetta Grubman Plastic Surgery Fund, set up by another Jewish woman, who left all her money for people who wanted plastic surgery but couldn't afford it. The episode opens without “Rachel” having to explain the usual opening question of “Tell me what you don’t like about yourself.” “Matt”: Rachel’s not a complainer, Dad. She’s been through enough surgeries so if she says the pain is bad, it’s bad. She cries out during his examination and he concurs: That’s what we call exquisite pain. She’s anxious:The pain is so bad, it’s causing me nightmares. I wake up all edgy and hopeless. As she protests that she is not seeking a facial reconstruction, the doctor goes through technical explanations of the surgery, but is interrupted by his partner who breezily notes that the X-rays shows there’s an extra tooth in her body: No wonder I’m having nightmares. The bomber is alive and well and living inside of me. During the surgery, as Azam Ali’s “La Serena” repeats during the episode, the doctors discuss the motivations of suicide bombers, as the lesbian anesthesiologist blames a testosterone-fueled misogynist society. As directed by Charles Haid, “Dr. McNamara” imagines the bomber justifying targeting “Rachel”: I looked around me at all the students eating their lunches, so arrogant, so sure that this cafeteria belonged to them, this cafeteria built on land that belonged to me, that was a source of happiness to them. I looked at her, no cares at all except her own selfish desire. Just before I pushed the detonator, I asked Allah to take out as many students as possible.
After the operation, “Rachel” frantically approaches “Dr. McNamara”: He’s still inside me! He can’t stay inside me! I haven’t slept in four days! A pill won’t do the trick. The doctor imagines the bomber gloating: She survived the blast but I can still ruin her life. “Rachel” desperately explains: After the explosion, there was a lot of detritus left inside of me, a lot of fragments. The doctors said they wouldn’t have to remove them, that the metal would naturally work themselves out over time. . . I don’t know who I am. I never raise my voice, I’m the one who makes jokes to get my way. Something’s going on I can’t control. Did you ever feel that your anger was a physical presence inside you, like you’re possessed? So many great things happened to me. I came here, I found my work, I made a certain peace with my new face. I actually had hope. The doctor reassures her: Rachel, you are a survivor. You have a powerful spirit. Nothing can change that. But the image of the bomber mocks his clichés: There are some wounds that do not heal. “Rachel” gets angrier: You’re not listening to me! After I found out about the tooth inside me, I did a body scan. The fragments inside me are not just metal. I’m riddled with human shrapnel! His bone and tissue are inside me! Please take him out of me! His anger and his hatred are destroying me! Please take them out of me! She weeps.
After the operation, during which is heard “Dunya” by Niyaz, “Dr. McNamara” hands her a box with the removed body fragments and his parents’ address in Ramallah, Palestine. (I remember in 1976 taking the wrong exit off the highway and driving through that town before Israeli soldiers stopped us and suggested we turn around.) She repeats the name and speaks to the box: My suicide bomber. My mother’s still mourning the fact that I don’t look like Natalie Portman anymore. Now your mother’s really proud. I thought it would be easier once he was out of me. “Matt” speaks the episode’s theme that links with the other characters involved in humorous and serious prejudices and betrayals: Hopefully this can be the last chapter, forgiveness. “Rachel”: I hope so. Forgetting is easy, forgiveness is really, really hard. The doctor reassures her that she doesn’t have to go through with her plan, but “Rachel” insists: I made a commitment to myself. The doctor: I’m in awe of your efforts, Rachel, I really am. “Matt” persists in asking his father to do further surgeries pro bono, as the doctor looks at a photo of her pre-bombing: She’s been such an inspiration to others and especially for me. But the doctor has questions for her, alone, and about his son. Are you doing this for yourself or for someone else? “Rachel”: Something’s shifted in me since my bomber’s gone. I’ve begun to think about a real life. I’ve even begun to fantasize about having a life with love in it. “Dr. McNamara”: Are you in love with Matt? Is he in love with you? (As if it weren’t enough in this series that his ex-girlfriends have included a tranny, a neo-Nazi and a Scientologist.) “Rachel”: We don’t discuss things like that. We’re just good friends. . . Your son’s a great guy but he’s not the only fish in the sea. . . .When I sent those remains off to Palestine, I slept through the night for the first time since the explosion. The trick is forgiving the unforgiveable. The beautiful closing song was “Forgiveness Hymn” by Yoel Ben-Simhon, from his CD with the Sultana Ensemble. Marlee Matlin was the usual tough Jewish woman lawyer as “Barbara Shapiro” on the “Magda and Jeff” episode by Hank Chilton, albeit here with the twist that she’s deaf, but seemingly for the sole purpose that a gay character could satirically bemoan Hollywood’s “Jewish mafia”, then apologize to her.
Surprisingly, in the penultimate episode of the season, “August Walden”, written and directed by Sean Jablonski, “Rachel”s surgeries have continued. She challenges “Matt: - Six of them – can you tell the difference? He claims “a little.” While his fathers are curious what’s going on between them in his silent room, they then explain to her how they’ve relieved most of her pain, restored about 60% of her sense of smell, and some cheek bone definition in her face. But “Christian” argues with “Matt”: Otherwise she looks exactly the same. The point is she’s never going to look any better than this. “Matt” challenges the premise: So then looks are all that matters? “Sean” tries to be appeasing, but “Christian” is direct: I’m just going to say it. I don’t care if she shits solid gold. You can’t underestimate the burden that comes with dating someone like this. “Matt” rebels: You two are just unbelievable. She nursed me through my recovery. She made me believe I was worth something. “Christian” switches tactics: Look, did you wear rubbers with her? Why? You’re a perfect catch for a girl like this. She forgets to take her pill one day and you’re trapped for the rest of your life. “Matt”: You guys are assholes. “Sean”: Look, you were vulnerable when you met her. You just got out of a bad relationship and we don’t want to see you getting buried in another one. “Matt”: No, you just don’t want your son dating a girl who’s walking proof that you two aren’t gods, that you can’t make everyone look perfect. You guys have been messing with people’s faces so long, I don’t think you know what ugly looks like any more. (Meanwhile the Hedda Grubman Fund has a waiting list.) “Matt” visits “Rachel” with flowers, the DVD of Munich to watch with her, and a book about Learning Hebrew, explaining to “Christian”: I’m taking a course at the Jewish Community Center. “Christian”: You’ll take any kind of Kool-Aid a girl will feed you, huh? “Rachel” jokes with the doctors: Ready for my close-up? “Sean” hems and haws: In serious cases, we hope for incremental improvement. It may take a few more surgeries than we anticipated. “Rachel”: I’m not going to do any more. Matt was the one who kept pushing and pushing. My plans have changed. . .I’m leaving. I’m going back to Israel. I haven’t told him yet. . .He thinks he’s a nice boy, but he’s very confused. I know what he thinks. He thinks I’m the answer. He thinks Judaism is the answer. He always thinks the answer is out there somewhere. He needs to go inside, that’s the only place it is. “Matt” walks in cheerfully: Hey you look good! “Rachel”: I’m going home, Matt, back to Tel Aviv. “Matt: Why? I don’t understand! “Rachel”: It’s not right between us, Matt, I just don’t love you. “Matt”: I thought what we shared. . . “Rachel”: Was lovely, yes. But I’m not attracted to you. I’m sorry but I’m not. Attraction has nothing to do with what someone looks like. It’s an inner chemistry. And it’s there or is isn’t. “Matt” a bit nasty: I’m sorry, but have you looked in a mirror lately? “Rachel”: I now what you must think. You think because I’m not beautiful that I have no right to be picky. Perhaps you thought I could avoid getting hurt by choosing someone too desperate to reject you. “Matt”: Screw you and all your bullshit about looks don’t matter. Like you’re some poster girl for inner strength. As if looks don’t matter. “Rachel” You won’t find some part of yourself that’s missing. You need to look inside. Only then will you be able to express love instead of need. “Matt”: I don’t need you. I felt sorry for you. The only chemical reaction you’re going to get from a man is pity. He walks out the door, picks up another woman patient and beds her (who turns out to be his half-sister, so he can add incest to his partnering woes). (updated 6/26/2008)
2006/7 Season
Of course one of the losers being beauty counseled by sexy ex-model "Gabrielle" in the "Beautiful Girls" episode of Desperate Housewives, by Susan Nirah Jaffee and Dahvi Waller, had to prominently have a Jewish name, "Isabelle Horowitz." Jewish women characters were also used for comic relief on the same night of season premieres on E.R. and Grey's Anatomy. On E.R., for the first time in 13 seasons front desk clerk "Jerry Markovic" (the very large Abraham Benrubi) as he's in surgery from a gun shot attack suddenly has a Jewish mother (the very tiny Estelle Harris, who played an archetypal one on Seinfeld, even though her son "George Costanza" ostensibly wasn't Jewish). Amidst a tense, emotional life and death episode, "Bloodline" by producers Joe Sachs and David Zabel, she's pushy, selfish, controlling and whining on and on about money issues and her son's non-Harvard career aspirations as she throws Yiddish words around, before finally seeing him in the recovery room: Oy vey, you gave me such a scare, my shaina boychick and kisses his hand in affection. He smiles tolerantly: I'm sorry mom. To shell-shocked colleagues and roommates recovering from the death of an intern's patient/lover in "Time Has Come Today" on Grey's Anatomy by executive producer Shonda Rimes, Sandra Oh's "Dr. Cristina Yang" continued her somewhat silly claim that because her step-father is Jewish I am a Jew. I know what to do when someone dies. I know food and death. Shiva is what I know how to do. What she really means is that when she was a child, her step-father sat shiva for his mother, so she lived in a house that observed the rituals for seven days and she inferred the rules from that experience: It's something you do when someone dies. . .People bring over food, family comes over. It's supposed to help with the grieving. It honors the dead. . . Yeah seven days of no leather shoes, no work, no sex, no sitting on things higher than a foot, no shaving, no clean clothes. So they all decide to sit shiva together. The horse was beat again in “Six Days” by producer Krista Vernoff. “Cristina” is asked if she has a father: I have a – step-father. I see him for Yom Kippur. (updated 1/12/2007)
A Jewish woman patient showed up on House, M.D. with the same condition as had been portrayed more ethnically neutral through “Megan Clover” though by Abigail Breslin, on Gray’s Anatomy earlier in the season. In “Insensitive” by Matthew V. Lewis, the shrewd, misanthropic “Dr. House” quickly diagnoses “Hannah Morgenthal” (Mika Boorem) as having Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with seven indicators, one of which is: Ms. Morganthal – it’s one of those Jew names. Ashkenazi Jews are a high risk group. When his resident protests based on her description of her symptoms, he sarcastically responds in a new rewording of his dictum that “Everybody lies”: They killed Our Lord so you want to trust them? When she continues to protest his examination, he retorts: Think I just want to check out your tuchis, as your people would say? It is touching that she has a very strong relationship with her caring mother. (2/18/2007)
The State Within, the BBC America mini-series thriller by Lizzie Mickery and Daniel Percival, had Sharon Gless as hawkish Secretary of Defense “Lynne Warner” cannily sneering in Part 1 about the Chair of the Joint Special Homeland Security Committee “Madeleine Cohen” She’s a Democrat. But she’s also a Jew in anticipating her support after a bombing for Patriot Act 2 to expand measures, as in 24 this season, authorizing a government round-up of Muslims. These days that’s unusual realism in showing a Jewish woman as a U.S. Senator. The Secretary offers her a ticket to a fund raiser for the victims’ families but is rebuffed as the Senator frostily informs her she’s already bought her own ticket. She similarly rebuffs the British Ambassador Sir Mark Brydon (Jason Isaacs) when he lobbies her on behalf of British Muslims being targeted: We’re determined to show how resolute we are. . .Our first concern is the safely of U.S. citizens. She’s angry at first when he uses the Jewish card by making comparisons to Germany in the 1930’s: Are you accusing me of being a Nazi? But she later announces that they won’t pass legislation based on race, religion or ethnicity. (When I get a chance I’ll transcribe the exact dialogue.) (2/19/2007)
The O.C. in its last season took a silly but satiric take on intermarriage in “My Two Dads” by creator Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage. “Seth” and “Summer” have foolishly gotten engaged after a pregnancy scare and are implicitly daring each other to back off. “Seth” presents “Summer” with a Torah: So you can convert to Judaism. “Summer” storms off with a Shalom Cohen! She’s seen practicing learning Hebrew letter flash cards with her step-mother and correcting her pronunciation of chutzpah. Later “Seth” backs out of accompanying his friend elsewhere: Can’t come. Summer and I kinda have a date to build a chuppah together. But in the series finale “The End's Not Near, It's Here” by creator Josh Schwartz that looked at each character’s future, they do share a Jewish wedding. (updated 2/23/2007)
TV drama's most common representation of Jewish women, as Holocaust survivors, reappeared in the "Provenance" episode of Numb3rs (out on DVD), written by Don McGill. Gena Rowlands guest starred as "Erika Hellman" who had been defeated in court about her claims to a Pissarro painting stolen from her father by the Nazis due to attacks on her memory as the only living witness that it was in his collection. When the FBI agent secures the original painting with I hope this will give you some comfort., she puts it in a larger perspective about her family: And to think even I was beginning to question my memory. But meeting her has him thinking about his heritage as he asks his brother Ever wonder why we never were more religious? The math maven shrugs: Mom [The Late Mrs. Eppes] wanted a Christmas tree. So the agent goes in a different direction, asking his father about his "Cousin Anna" who got out in time but never found a soul of her family. He pledges to find out what happened to them. In the 6th episode of the 5th season, 11/2008, “Magic Show” by Sean Crouch, Dad took sole blame when for his son seeking more spiritual sustenance: Do you feel like I cheated you out of something?. . .We were never a religious family. . . I taught you about God. I gave you that choice. (updated 11/8/2008)
Just about every detective procedural drama eventually includes something Nazi-related, particularly in series with cold case squads, but Waking the Dead (shown on BBC America‘s Mystery Mondays) included younger Jewish women besides Holocaust survivors. I guess I wasn’t paying close attention the first four seasons, before “DC Amelia 'Mel' Silver” (played by Claire Goose) was killed off in “Shadowboxer” as evidently the pert blonde was Jewish. Her death in the line of duty has been haunting her irascible boss “Detective Superintendent Peter Boyd” (Trevor Boyd), including a mysterious necklace that was sent to her in the mail. What we didn’t see until this sixth season finale, “Yahrzheit” by Declan Coghan, was that it was a chai and that it’s connected to a 1945 cold case of a murdered girl that she was working on with a mysterious woman “Sarah” (played by one of my favorite American TV actresses at playing tough broads, Michelle Forbes), who first claims to be working with the War Crimes unit of Interpol and that she met “Mel” when she was “tracing her roots” at The Wiesenthal Center. “Sarah” is on the trail of Nazi gold smuggled out of Poland. But it turns out (sorry I broke out laughing at this revelation) that she really works for the Mossad (after all, so many of the Jewish women on TV do this season). The trail she’s on is for the network that smuggled out Mengele. Over lunch, she asks “Boyd” about how “Mel” died and her funeral, that he didn’t attend: What was the point? She was already dead. She shakes her head: Funerals aren’t for the dead. They’re for the people they left behind. I tell you British sandwiches. You should come to NY. I’ll show you a real sandwich. He deflects: That’s a long way to go for a sandwich. How does your husband feel about you going off around the world with Mossad? She: What do you mean my husband? He, waving his ring finger: Y’know, it’s my job to notice these things. She, self-consciously twisting her wedding ring: No, I’m not married. I’m a widow. He: Sorry. Recent? She: 9/11. We were both NYPD. He was on duty and I was off. He, with a good question: So how did you end up with Mossad? She: Someone killed my husband. Took my life from me. I wanted revenge. He: Did you get it? She: Yeah. He: Did it make you feel better? She: No. He: So when do you think you’re going to start your life again? She: What’s it to you? He: That’s no answer. She: Can I get back to you on that? . . . So why do you care when I’m going to start my life again? He: Shouldn’t I care? She: I don’t mind that you care. I’m just wondering why? He shrugs that he doesn’t know. She: So why are you doing this? Well, I know why I’m here. I can’t face NY. What is it that you can’t face? He: Can I get back to you about that? “Sarah” figures out the solution to the extremely complicated case, that I had trouble following, where the murdering elderly woman raised as a Nazi, ferociously played by the estimable Eileen Atkins, turns out to have been a Jewish child, with the oddly non-Jewish name of Kristina, kidnapped at age 7 into the Lebensborn program, which the police were conveniently able to document with paperwork. So her grandson can return to his bar mitzvah lessons reassured that he is in fact Jewish. After the kaddish at the Jewish funeral for the family murdered in 1945, “Sarah” puts stones on their gravestone, and the rabbi invites “Boyd” to do so, too. He then walks over to “Mel”s grave and puts a stone on her gravestone too, with flashbacks to her face, living and dead. “Sarah” does too. Were you with her when she died? He nods. Good. No one should die alone. He: So what are you going to do now? She: I don’t know. Back to NY? He: Good. She: I guess? He: We should keep in touch. She: Yes, we should. But we won’t. But the next scene has them in front of the NYC skyline surrounded by NYC sounds, eating a sandwich on a park bench. She, smiling: So what do you think? He, mouth full: It’s good. She: I told you. You’ve got a little. . . and she intimately brushes crumbs out of his gray beard. They look deeply into each other’s eyes and kiss, then hold on to each other with an eyes closed embrace. While I recall his romantic liaisons in earlier seasons, he hadn’t been involved since “Mel”s death. (5/31/2007)
The "Crucified" episode of Fox's Justice by Jason Tracey, Jonathan Shapiro and Craig S. O'Neill, had a mostly silent, but lovingly loyal Jewish mother of a rebellious Goth, death-metal-fancying teen accused of murder -- and the parents' intermarriage is given as cause for "inchoate religious education" that would lead a kid to commit a heinous crime, leading to the hot shot defense team's first loss of the season. Now that's an argument against intermarriage that I don't think the Jewish community has volleyed yet. Another loving Jewish mother was JoBeth Williams' "Sheryl Kates" in the "Outsiders" episode of ABC's The Nine. She urges her adult son the doctor, played by Scott Wolf, to get therapy and to come home for Shabbat dinner, which he hasn't done since he was traumatically held hostage in a bank hold-up and broke up with the long-time, non-Jewish girlfriend she loved like a daughter (though there seems to be a daughter at the table). Even the ex says she "really misses them", as she was estranged from her own Wisconsin family. It was because the parents were so emotionally invested in their relationship that he had been reluctant to tell them the ex is pregnant and he wasn't sure she wanted "doting grandparents". The Shabbat blessings over the candle, wine and bread were warmly chanted by non-Jewish actors. (updated 11/25/2006)
In the second and last season of HBO’s occasionally historically accurate series Rome, Atia’s henchman “Timon” is Jewish and has a wife, “Deborah”, who is being influenced against his violent ways by her newly religious and anti-Roman brother-in-law from Jerusalem, “Levi”.
Debi Mazar used her native Outer Borough accent as "Leah Feldman" on the satirical Ugly Betty first seen on "Trust, Lust and Must" by Cameron Litvack. She's an amusing twist on the usual TV tough Jewish woman lawyer because she's a girl from "Betty"s Queens' neighborhood of Jackson Heights. She defends "Betty"s sister "Hilda" hawking health supplements in front of her daily yoga exercise storefront by snowing the proprietor with the NYC Municipal Administrative Code, and throwing in the Constitution's right of free assembly as well. With their father's problems in mind, "Hilda" eagerly asks if she can help: Have I ever handled immigration law? In this neighborhood? Once I got my degree my uncle Abraham turned this into the Israeli underground railroad. And she'll only charge $5,000 compared to the fancy lawyer's $20,000 fee. Ah, but in the follow-up "Four Thanksgivings and a Funeral" by Mark Pennette, "Betty" investigates neighborhood rumors that Leah is bad news from a friend of a friend in Astoria complaining how she handled a custody suit: She files paper. She takes all my money. And I never see her again. If it weren't for her I'd probably have my kids with me for Thanksgiving. Insisting I have never lost a single cast yet., "Leah" claims that was just court expenses and anyway the woman was a neglectful alcoholic, so "Hilda" invites her to their family dinner after handing over the rest of the retainer. But lo and behold, she doesn't show and all her phone numbers are disconnected. "Hilda" has to reluctantly admit that "Betty" was rightfully suspicious. (updated 11/27/2006)
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The Unit (out on DVD) jumped on this season’s bandwagon of sexy Israeli women soldiers in “Two Coins” by executive producer David Mamet. The rangers on this super-secret team are training new terrorist attack prevention techniques in Jerusalem, assisted by the lovely sergeant “Michal” (played by the model turned actress Sendi Bar, whose real-life husband Aki Avni also co-starred as her colonel and was the central hunk in Time of Favor). “Charles Grey”, code-named “Mr. White”, played by hunky Michael Irby in his first featured episode in the series’ two seasons, is smitten, or as one of the Israelis claims to translate quizzical Hebrew slang He fell off his camel., relating it to Isaac first seeing Rebecca. He is certainly very aggressively flirting with her over dinner in the base cafeteria that even more ludicrously has matzo on the table when it’s not Passover. He fingers her silver necklace. She explains that it’s a Roman coin, with the inscription “Never Again” in Hebrew on the back, in memory of her brother who died in a terrorist bombing of a Tel Aviv café. She invites him to see ruins, stopping first at her old school bus stop, where she inscribed her first boyfriend’s initials when she was 12. But the ruins are across the border in the West Bank, which they foolishly sneak over to and where they make passionate love, with their clothes strewn in the moonlight, her pendant hanging on a nail. But terrorists have picked that time and place to infiltrate with bombs. As they scramble to get dressed, she overhears their plan to bomb the bus stop: Those animals! Taking a child on a bus! They huddle together all night to keep warm and keep watch on the sleeping terrorists. One finds her pendant and starts looking for them, while he creates a diversion with gunpowder from the bullets in his gun and yells at her to run. But she’s caught and used as a hostage shield. She shouts over and over: It’s all right, it’s over for me! One of the bombs goes off and she’s dead. When the rest of the unit comes to the rescue, he bends over her body I’m sorry., stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. He finds the pendant and kisses it. Too bad the rest of the team condescendingly referred to her as “the girl”, but in general they’re pretty condescending to the Israelis. The other titular coin was a back-home story with one of the wives, but together resonate as coins on the eyes of the dead.
C.S.I. bizarrely jumped on the bandwagon in “Happenstance” by Sarah Goldfinger. Psycho seductive nurse “Natal Peled” (played by Israeli actress Sarai Givaty) with a history of rape charges against her is a suspect in the death of her doctor lover’s wife because the murder weapon is an Israeli gun and she is an ex-soldier. (A war photographer turned out to be the killer.) (updated 1/4/2008)
Russian immigrant criminals have become a mainstay of TV and movie crime, but the “Severance” episode of Standoff by producer Craig Silverstein may have been the first to have one with a Jewish mother, “Sofia Marcovich” (played by Camille Saviola). As her flamboyant web soft core pornographer son “Reggie” (played by handsome Henry Lubatti who has been getting cast as Muslims on TV lately) explains We’re street Jews, bro. But his Latino wife screams as she takes her mother-in-law hostage in retaliation against his threats: He was her prince! No one was good enough for her little bubbela! (7/27/2007)
An older Jewish woman was used for the usual comic relief in State of Mind, part of Lifetime: Television for Women’s expanded effort at original series with a parade of quirky characters. In “Passion Fishing” by creator Amy Bloom, crotchety “Mrs. Fleischman” may or may not have murdered her equally elderly husband in a culmination of mysterious accidents in their argumentative retirement vacations, after calling her therapist in a panic that she’s convinced her husband is trying to kill her by cooking dinner. (updated 8/6/2007)
A minor Jewish woman character recurred in HBO’s weird spiritual surfing family mystery John From Cincinnati (repeated frequently and On Demand) as “Daphne” (played by Jennifer Grey), the nagging fiancée of lawyer “Meyer Dickstein” (played by Willie Garson, who always plays Jewish nebbishes). In “His Visit: Day Five” episode by Alix Lambert, she is introduced to a doctor among the oddball crew he’s taken as a client at a very rundown motel, she sarcastically comments: Great, let’s invite his mother and your mother and they can shept nakhes together. She continues in the series as the snorting sarcastic skeptic. In her next appearance in “His Visit: Day Seven” episode by Abby Gewanter; the official episode summary describes: “Across the café, Dickstein sits with Daphne, describing [the hospital attorney] Lewinsky's [unethical] offer and explaining it could get him disbarred. Daphne, seeing an opportunity, tells him, I'm not the fair-weather type, Meyer.” Her official HBO bio is: “As overbearing as Dickstein is meek, Daphne dominates the relationship with her fiancé, who openly fears her. Hardly the kind of woman who passes time with criminals and drug addicts, she has plenty to say – and much to learn – about Dickstein's new friends at the Snug Harbor.” As the Surfing Messiah is being welcomed in the rushed series finale, due to the series’ sudden cancellation, “His Visit: Day Nine” by Zack Whedon, “Daphne” is converted to sexual liberation, awaking her fiancé with a blow job under the covers, and then passionately pulling him off the welcoming messianic parade. (updated 9/16/2007)
Nip/Tuck gave us the return and spectacular finale in the “Conor McNamara” episode by Jennifer Salt and Hank Chilton of the inestimable Mrs. Grubman, as played wonderfully by Ruth Williamson. Her dialogue was so rich that I'll transcribe it all as soon as I have time. (10/25/2006)
Rescue Me (on FX, on DVD) has mocked every other ethnic group and human characteristic over its four seasons, so now it was time for creators Denis Leary and Peter Tolan to zestfully go after Jewish women stereotypes, in the person of Amy Sedaris’s hilariously crazy recurring “Beth Feinberg”, daughter of the well-hung Chief who forces Leary’s “Tommy Gavin” to date her. A couple of episodes later, Gina Gershon’s Valerie who, like all the women on this series has an obsessive sexual thing for “Tommy” announces to his shock that she’s also Jewish. Which made the absurd finale of his uber sexist conquest of her even more ridiculous. The role qualified her for various fanboy lists of the hottest women on TV, probably marking the first time a Jewish woman actress/character had been so cited, but she's such a one-note, one-name, no back-story, annoying character, who I kept presuming wouldn't be sticking around the series, that I haven't gotten around to transcribing her one-themed dialogue yet. (updated 4/16/2009)
Rachel Menken on Mad Men (on AMC, Thursday nights at 10 pm, repeated frequently and free On Demand on digital cable. This season on DVD.) Played by Maggie Siff, here’s her character’s official bio: “The female head of Menken’s, a major Jewish department store, is in the market for an advertising agency willing to take her company to the next, more affluent level. After an aggressive interaction with Sterling Cooper’s “Don Draper” [played by Jon Hamm], she realizes that her vision might not be shared. As their common professional beliefs become apparent, however, a successful merge of interests might not be so impossible.” Until I get a chance to transcribe her dialogue here’s the official recap of their first meeting in the first episode “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes” by creator Matthew Weiner: “Don” “has little patience for her demands to turn her store into the next Chanel nor her distaste for his less-than-innovative idea to offer coupons to housewives. ‘I'm not going to let a woman talk to me that way,’ he says as he walks out the door. . . “Don” attempts to reconcile with “Rachel”, and she teases that the flashy mai tai nearly does the trick. When he asks why she's not married, she admits that – aside from wanting to have the option to be a businesswoman – she's never been in love. ‘The reason you haven't felt it is because it doesn't exist,’ he says. ‘What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons.’ Soon, she agrees to come back” to the agency.”
From The Atlantic, Ta-Nehisi Coates muses about the role of blacks and Jews in the series in “The Negro Don Draper”, 10/27/2008, as if they can tell that the main character is “passing”: “Only two groups of people truly can sense something [amiss] the blacks, and the Jews. . . .The major theme is set from the first episode, when Don, wooing Rachel, a Jewish proprietor of a department store, is enjoying the sound of his own voice. Rachel listens skeptically and then cuts right through the mask: I don't know what it is you really believe in, but I do know what it feels like to be out of place, to be disconnected, to see the whole world laid out in front of you the way other people live it. There is something about you that tells me you see it too.
She’s back in the 3rd episode “Marriage of Figaro” by Tom Palmer that I’ll also transcribe when I get a chance, but here’s the AMC summary: “The conference room fills with Don, Pete, an executive from the research department and Rachel Menken, the Jewish department store owner. While the researcher presents a report on top competitors such as Saks, Don’s cuff link falls off and slides toward Rachel. Without missing a beat, she flicks it back. They smile and lock eyes. Pete notices. The researcher then gives his recommendations, including having a personal shopping service and designer collections, both of which are current staples of Rachel’s company. No one from Sterling Cooper bothered to come into her store, and Don promised to correct the oversight. Pete offers to walk her down, but Don steps in. That evening he meets her at Menken’s Department Store. Rachel gets him new knights in armor cuff links, and shows him the store. They end up on the roof, Rachel's favorite part of the store, where she keeps four German Shepherds. Rachel confides that the store is much like her home, especially because she grew up without a mother. “Don’t try to convince me you were [n]ever unloved,” Don says as he takes her hand in his. He lifts her face up and kisses her deeply. She kisses back. When their lips part, Don pulls her close and quietly admits that he’s married. Shocked, Rachel asks if he does this all the time. Before he can answer, she tries to maintain her professionalism -- she’ll keep the account with Sterling Cooper, but she wants someone else on it.”
The sixth episode “Babylon” by Maria Jacquemetton and Andre Jacquemetton, particularly focuses on Jews and attitudes towards Jewish women, as the firm is asked to come up with a non-kitschy tourist campaign for Israel in association with the release of the film Exodus, so I’ll comment in depth when I get a chance – but I was humming “By the Waters of Babylon” for days afterwards that “Don” hears in a Greenwich Village dive with his bohemian mistress. The official episode re-cap is inadequate and almost as sexist as the ‘60’s men: “At Sterling Cooper, Don meets with Nick Rodis and two men from the Israeli Tourism Bureau, Lily Meyer and Yoram Ben Shulhai. Nick, from Olympic Cruise Lines wants Israel to become a tourist destination. “If Beirut is the Paris of the middle east, we’d like Haifa to be the Rome,” he says. Back at the office, Don, Paul and Pete sift through stacks of research on Israel -- including a copy of Exodus and the Old Testament -- as Salvadore doodles. They struggle to find anything to make the nation enticing. After the meeting, Don calls Rachel Menken and asks to meet for a drink, for business. She agrees to lunch the following day. At home, Don is reading Exodus. Betty notices and confides that the first boy she ever kissed was Jewish. Meanwhile, Don’s at a luncheonette with Rachel. He needs her advice on his Israeli Tourism client. “I’m the only Jew you know in New York City?” she says. When he doesn’t relent, she explains that Jews have been living in exile for a long time, first in Babylon and then all over the world. “We’ve managed to make a go of it,” she continues. “It might have something to do with the fact that we thrive at doing business with people who hate us.” When Rachel returns to her office, she calls her older sister Barbara to tell her she met someone -- someone their father would hate.” We found out in the ninth episode “Shoot” that he didn’t get the Israel account – but, ironically, the current Israel tourist folks have bought ad time during the show.
In the 10th episode, “Long Weekend”, by Bridget Bedard, Maria Jacquemetton, Andre Jacquemetton, and Matthew Weiner, according to the overly modest official re-cap, until I have a chance to transcribe it, “They cut [a] meeting short for another, this one with the Menkens -- both Rachel and her father Abraham. Abraham is somewhat open to the suggestions Sterling Cooper offers -- they want to add a restaurant on the ground floor and close the store during construction -- but he has concerns that he’s creating a store that even he wouldn’t shop in. Don, looking at Rachel, describes how his customers have changed: “They’re like your daughter, educated and sophisticated. They are fully aware of what they deserve and are willing to pay for it.” . . . Don knocks on the door of an apartment. Rachel, in a robe with tousled hair, answers. She lets him in and fixes him a drink. He leans in and kisses her desperately. “Is this like the end of the world,” she asks, stopping him. “Just do whatever you want?” Don opens up and talks about the first time he was a pall bearer and being that close to death. “This is it, this is all there is,” he says. “And it’s slipping through my fingers.” They kiss passionately, slowly lying back onto the couch. He asks if she really wants this. “Yes, please,” she replies. Afterwards, Don opens up once more.” In a Best of Mad Men interview on AMC, Weiner reflects that their exchange was his favorite of the season: “She’s been mature and responsible, raising objections. But little by little he wins her over and he tells her something we didn’t think he would ever tell another person.”
In the 11th episode, “Indian Summer”, by Tom Palmer and Matthew Weiner, according to the overly modest official re-cap, until I have a chance to transcribe it, “In another bedroom, Don stares at Rachel. She admits that she thinks about them being together. “I don’t know if I understand how this works or where it goes,” she says. “’I’m worried this is a fantasy.’”
In the penultimate episode of the season, “Kennedy vs. Nixon”, by Lisa Albert, Maria Jacquemetton and Andre Jacquemetton, according to the official re-cap, until I have a chance to transcribe it, “Don”s past is catching up to him and he runs to “Rachel”: He goes to Rachel Menken’s office with a sudden desire to go to Los Angeles with her for good. Although he piques her interest, she reasons that she has a store to run and he has a family. They fight, and she realizes that he doesn’t want to run away with her. He just wants to run away.” In the season finale “The Wheel,” by Matthew Weiner & Robin Veith, “Rachel”s dad informs “Don”s boss that she’s suddenly gone on a long cruise – and neither are happy that it has something to do with him. (updated 10/5/2008)
Faux Cherien Rich on The Riches (on FX Mondays at 10 pm, repeated overnights. 1st season on DVD.) In “Been There, Done That” by Dawn Prestwich and Nicole Yorkin, the fourth episode of the first season of this tale of a family of travelers who adopts the upper middle class identity of the couple moving from Florida to Louisiana who were killed in a hit and run accident they caused, “Dahlia Malloy” (played by Minnie Driver) gets a visit: We’re the welcoming committee from Temple Beth-El. Woozy from the pills she’s downed in a recurrence of the addiction she acquired in prison for a credit card scam, she drawls: I don’t know anyone named Beth. But one of the women persists at the door: We spoke on the phone? I handled your membership. We got your check. We just wanted to fill you in. Give you a chance to join the havurah with the temple. There are a lot of goyim in the area. This is a great way to meet other Jewish families. It’s not Tampa, but there are upwards of 800 of us here. “Dahlia” is dumbstruck: We’re Jewish! Another of the women is curious about the cross around her neck: That’s an interesting necklace, Cherien. Dahlia: Actually, you’re looking at it sideways. It’s an X, like one those X marks the Jews necklaces at Wal-Mart. Thanks for stopping by! I got to clean the house. After she slams the door, she mutters: We are Jewish now – Jesus! When her husband returns she’s set up the menorah from the unpacked boxes in the bedroom (and is constantly visible in future episodes, oddly always filled with candles) and casually mentions to him among other crises: Oh, by the way, we’re Jewish. This could be funny; if this dark comedy uses the twist as an opportunity for satire in an exploration of the family’s stereotypes about Southern Jews. In the next episode we learn that “Cherien” was a dental hygienist. In “Cinderella” by Colette Burson the faux “Cherien” makes quite a faux pas when she serves pork at a business dinner for her husband’s boss, and has to go into a tortured explanation of how it does in fact fit in with kashruth. In “This Is Your Brain on Drugs” by Ellie Herman we learn that her senile mother in a nursing home is “Dr. Morgenstern”, but she can still tell: You’re not Cherien. Cherien’s a bitch. (1/8/2008)
Hana Gitelman on Heroes (NBC Mondays at 9 pm) was first seen as a new “hero” with a special ability in Chapter 13 of the first season (available on DVD) of the accompanying online graphic novel, collected into a hardcover book. In a TV Guide 1/2007 interview, producer Tim Kring explained why she was brought into the story this way: “That was unique to this character. “Hana”s nickname is ‘Wireless’ because she can pick up all sorts of wireless communication -- so what cooler way to introduce her than through the Internet?” He expanded in a Wired interview with David Kushner, 4/23/07: “A modern TV creator also has to think outside of the boob tube. ‘When I pitched Heroes, I knew an important element to getting on air was how it can incorporate the Internet, I'm sort of a student of television, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that things are changing quickly. Production costs are going up. We're losing eyeballs. We have to reach people in other ways.’ Which is why Heroes has recently introduced a female character who can physically interface with the Web. She's already a featured character in the tie-in web comic, and she guides fans through an alternate-reality game, giving them codes so they can hunt for clues on MySpace pages and blogs purportedly written by the characters. (Kring and his team of super friends have also set up 9thwonders.com, a site with illustrations, interviews, and message boards where fans can gather to dissect the previous week's episode.) ‘My job has changed from being in the writing and editing room," Kring says, with some surprise, "to managing a brand."
On TV, she is played by Canadian actress Stana Katic (In TV Guide, Katic gushed about playing “Hana”: “I’ve always wanted to play a superhero for the ages, so this is bloody fantastic!. . .I love the drawings of her in those cargo pants, with a gun in each hand. She’s absolutely kick-ass-looking!”) The first Jewish woman character in a sci fi series since Babylon 5, she’s haunted by coming from a line of strong Jewish women, as she narrates in “Wireless Part 1”, by Aron Eli Coleite, guest artist Phil Jimenez, art by Michah Gunnell. Her tanta, her grandmother, fought against the Nazis in the Resistance, coordinating tank attacks, then she’s seen with a gun to her head before being seen shorn behind a barbed-wire fence: She never gave up. She survived. She goes on describing the background to the illustrations: That’s my mother, Zahava. You can’t tell underneath that flight helmet but she’s quite beautiful. She was one of the IDF’s first female pilots. She shot down two MIG’s in the Six Day War The three are together, boarding a bus, “Hana” as a little girl licking an ice cream cone: A far cry from my mother’s and my grandmother’s legacy. The wars were over, the major battles finished. At least that’s what we wanted to believe. But that bus going from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem was the first suicide attack in Israel and forced it off a cliff at Kiryat Yarim. I was in the hospital as their funerals came and went and I could not pay proper tribute. I could not say good-bye. My Tanta braved Auschwitz. My mother waged the War of Independence. They played by the rules of engagement and they survived. Then some coward changed the rules forever. And I had a legacy to carry on. Grown up, she asks to be assigned to the paratroopers but is denied, in an unrealistic interchange that dodges sexism in the Israeli army: We’re all very impressed by your skills, Ms. Gitelman, but you will best serve your country in Army intelligence. She’s furious: A desk job? I think you will find that I am more than capable for field work. The commander: We have grave concerns about your heart. “Hana”: I assure you my heart is fine! Commander: Our enemies can hear it beating now. Your heart yearns for vengeance. That’s why you will always sit behind a computer. Your judgment cannot be trusted in the trenches. So she goes into intelligence work: At my best, I seemed to know our enemies’ moves before they did. They promoted me again and again but I was still miserable. She keeps exercising to stay in shape, though she’s chain smoking. Out on the perimeter one night, she spots an intruder: The rules of engagement say to shoot on sight, but the rules didn’t account for my heart. The pounding in my heart - am I killing this man for security or revenge? Am I a patriot or a murder? I thought about my mother and my grandmother and I hesitated. I failed them! as she’s knocked down. But he surprises her: I’m not here to hurt you, Lt. Gitelman, I’m here to change your life! -- it’s “Horn-Rimmed Guy” aka HRG aka “Claire” the cheerleader’s father who has been ambiguously tracking down the heroes we don’t know yet for what purpose.
“Part 2” by Coleite and Joe Pokaski , art by Michah Gunnell has flashbacks to “Hana”s childhood therapy with a psychologist: I had abandonment issues after the death of my mother and grandmother. He said I needed to learn to trust. She’s seen falling back in a failed trust exercise. I never had friends or boyfriends. I never really liked to talk or date or whatever. And the times when I did need someone they always let me down. I didn’t like that. So she’s not too amenable when HRG takes her to an unknown location and insists she should trust him: You can see that might be an issue with the blindfolding and all. He takes her to a special facility in the Alaskan tundra: You want to do some good. Punish the bad guys. This is where you’re going to learn how to do that. You’re special. She’s intrigued: He said he was CIA. He said I was being recruited into a special program. That I was hand selected. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust him. They tested me physically. She’s seen, among other exercises, throwing knives with first one hand then the other. [On NCIS the not dissimilar character “Ziva” is seen doing the same in the “Friends and Lovers” episode by John C. Kelly, explaining In the Mossad we have a saying: ‘Knives don’t run out of bullets.’] They pushed me to my limits, and just when I thought I had no more strength, no more energy, they pushed harder! And the tests weren’t only physical. They measured my brain waves. They poked and prodded. They took samples and injected what they called ‘vitamins’. He said I was special. But I felt useless. Weeks of testing and still nothing. My mother and my grandmother- I had failed them! You promised I’d see action but all I’ve seen is snow! Help me – I don’t know what you’re testing me for! I want the truth! She threatens the tester to know what his text message is about – before he got it. Then it was as if I had opened a door. And then a flood rushed in – all the e-mails, text messages, satellite transmissions floating invisibly above the world I don’t know how it was possible but I could read, sense every one of them. . . I knew every code can be broken. You just have to identify the key. I knew with enough exposure, with enough practice I could master this. It was beautiful, but it was too much. HRG knocks her out! When she wakes up weeks later she can send e-mails with her mind, and she’s only sending out one: Kadima – attack! HRG approves: I think you’re ready for your first mission.
In Part 3, (same creative credits as Part 2), she’s out trying to foil the evil microbiologist “Dr. Strauss” from selling the formula for turning microbes deadly by intercepting his transmissions, but is captured, as she flashes back to her grandmother’s similar experience: If I saved a few hundred lives, maybe I’d make my grandmother proud. The man in the horned rimmed glasses may have made me special, but she taught me everything else. Out of the two sexes it is the man who is weakest, not physically, but mentally without fail. They all underestimate the true power that women have – conviction! As she beats up her captors and vaults over the barbed wire fence smack into more guns, she thinks: I wish my grandmother was alive to see me now. I would ask her -‘How in the world is conviction going to get me out of this?’
In Part 4 (same creative credits as 2 & 3), “Hana” is in Tanzania staring at huge guns pointed at her: Well, I really stepped in it. You’re gonna hate me for what I do next. Call me all sorts of names. Coward, Idiot. Believe me. You don’t hate me more than I hate myself. I was in the Mossad long enough to know that diplomacy is the only way to make it out of here alive. Let the politicians and the Horn-Rimmed Guy work out the details. She holds up her hands: I’m CIA! But at the U.S. Embassy, the CIA says she’s wrong, that none of her contacts pan out. Who are you working for Ms. Gitelman? “Hana” thinks: He lied to me! It’s my fault. I wanted to believe him so badly that I walked into the lie. Stupid! I replay the moments looking for an answer. Where did I go wrong? She flashes back first to the past few months of experiences with HRG, then years ago in her and her family’s lives: Was it my desire for revenge? Or the death of my mother and grandmother? Was I too innocent? Too reverent? Or was I too proud? Was it just in my blood? It’s everything. My past. My ability. My mistakes. I’ve been fumbling to find out who I am. This is me. With her mind she manipulates the computers in the building to trigger a leak and with the distraction grabs a gun: I was in it deep. I would be on at least two or three governments most wanted lists. I was a walking dead woman. Yet I never felt more alive. For once I knew who Hana Gitelman truly is. Which is ironic considering that Hana Gitelman is never going to be heard from again. And she escapes out a window, hiding out in Missoula, Montana with a new name, where she can monitor transmissions more clearly. I spend my time trying to find information about the man who did this to me. . . He used me. He manipulated me. I’m going to find him. Make him pay. Now I know what you’re thinking. That I haven’t changed. That I still have vengeance in my heart. But that’s just who I am. And she’s off on her motorcycle as she’s discovered that other people in e-mails are talking about finding HRG. In the next online episode, “How Do You Stop an Exploding Man?”, paralleled in the broadcast episode “Chapter 16: Unexpected” by producer Jeph Loeb, she advised “Ted Sprague” on how to get revenge for having the radioactive powers that have ruined his life and how to contact her by her code name “Wireless”, tracks HRG to Odessa, TX then coordinates an ambush of him and his family – hey, save the cheerleader, save the world y’know.
”Hana” reappears in Chapter 21 of the online graphic novel parallel story “The Path of the Righteous” by Coleite. She is following leads anywhere, but I hate graveyards. They’re museums for awful memories. Sometimes it’s best not to think. Thinking can weigh down the soul In the next panel she rejects the approach of the other heroes who are after HRG, as is being followed in the broadcast episodes: Revenge and emotions make excellent blindfolds. Me, I’m on a different path. The Man in the Horn-Rimmed Glasses is getting his orders from somewhere. And she’s off on a motorcycle. I’m done thinking. I’m just driving. Following the stream, as if it were the friggin’ yellow brick road. She’s followed the e-mails to Odessa, TX, where like any graphic novel heroine now she is voluptuously filling out tight black leather as she stands astride a roof, perhaps because a different artist was drawing her here, Staz Johnson: And when I pull back the curtain, I’m going to find the wizard that has been manipulating us. Ironically, in Chapter 23 – “Family Man” of the online graphic novel written by Jesse Alexander, art by Johnson, HRG hopes she has forgiven him and reaches out to her by e-mail from Odessa to protect his special daughter. That’s why “Wireless” has responded: I’ll do it. and is speeding down Route 66 at 110 MPH on her motorcycle to him.
”Hana” uncovers key information in the next six chapters of the graphic novel called “War Buddies.” In Chapter 24 “The Lonestar File”, written by Mark Warshaw and art by Steven Lejeune with a bustier “Hana”, she describes her abilities as I’m a walking blackberry., as she summarizes where she’s at now: Yesterday I wanted vengeance on the man in the horn-rimmed glasses – Bennet. He manipulated me, used me. And when I needed him most, he threw me to the wolves. Today, he turned to me for help so the question is – do I trust him? Bennet says that he’s a victim too, manipulated by the company. That we’re both on the side of the angels. That it’s up to us to take down the company. To help me, Bennet gave me one file number. That’s it. One. According to him, one file would help me take down the entire kingdom. But she’s stymied because the target file is on old-fashioned paper. Even I have my limits. And I was out of options. So what choice did I have? She zooms away on her motorcycle on highway 40, heading east. War does not care if you are a man or woman. My training in Israel prepared me for this. So we have to play the hand we’re dealt Flashback to the Mossad Training Center in Israel in 2001, where “Hana” gets beat up a big guy. She’s learned how to get revenge by not using brute strength. She lures “Casey Smith” via his MySpace page. Posing as “Samantha”, she meets him at a bar, dressed in slinky, bulging cleavage-spilling red, purring flattery when he gushes I like your accent.. They’re watching the election returns for the political “hero” “Nathan Petrelli”, but she demurs: Politics and religion. Not good first date conversations. But you know what is? And she slams him against the wall with a big kiss, while taking off his clothes. In bed he’s asleep while she steals an ID card from his wallet, she addresses the readers: Don’t be mad at me. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. . . What did you expect? That I’d break into the Pentagon guns a-blazin’? I need to accomplish this mission. I need answers to my questions! And she finds the one file, about strange happenings during the Viet Nam War that make links between the heroes, as revealed starting in Chapter 25 “Unknown Soldier”. By Chapter 29 online “War Buddies: Call to Arms”, story by Mark Washaw and pencils by Staz Johnson drawing “Hana” ever bustier, she’s figured out the connections between “Linderman” and the “Petrellis”, but “Smith” has also woken up and figured out what she’s done and calls security, who repeats his description of her: An attractive brunette? The APB goes out for “Hot Israeli chick. Possible target goes by name of Samantha.” She’s hiding in the files: Think quick, Hana. Play your hand. The security chief receives an apologetic e-mail from “Smith”, saying it was a false alarm. “Hana” sneaks off: Time to get out of here. At a computer at Reagan airport, she gets “Linderman”s credit card number for a ticket to his headquarters in Las Vegas, but has difficulty getting through his firewall. She thinks: That says something. That says you have something to hide. You are a real shady bastard. I’ll need to be at closer range if I am going to be able to dig deeper. I’ll come back for the bike. I don’t want to waste anytime. And she flies off in a jet, where her mind can get into his server and she sees what he has planned for the son of the “Petrelli” she learned about in the secret Viet Nam files. Election rigging. This guy is a peach. If this Linderman guy wants Petrelli to win so bad it can’t be a good thing. To unrig an election is a tall order. I’m going to need a little help from my friends. And her mind projects a swirl of “Call to Arms” e-mails, with names that foreshadow all the heroes who we’ll doubtless be learning about in the future, as the show has been renewed for an extra-long second season. Her recruiting efforts continue in the accompanying Heroes 360 game, that I haven’t yet explored—hey just keeping up with the show and the graphic novels is an eyeful.
But Chapter 33 online begins the two-part ominously titled: “The Death of Hana Gitelman”, story by Aron Eli Coleite and art and color by Jason Badower, introduced with: “Hana Gitelman has fought all her life. In most of her battles there was a clear distinction between friend and foe. But the man in the horn-rimmed glasses has always proven to be the exception. Once her mentor, he betrayed her, fooled her into doing his dirty work. Against her better judgment, she has taken up his cause again. But as she delved deeper into her assignments, she had only more reasons to question their uneasy alliance.” She’s looking at the moon (an eclipse is the show’s logo), with thoughts that I’m not sure how she got growing up in Israel: When I was a little girl I imagined heaven was filled with clouds and angels with feathered wings. The heavens are filled with mechanical angels—satellites. Thousands and thousands of satellites. And like angels – they watch over us. They see everything we do. Every call we make. Every e-mail we write. They know how we live. Close-up of a satellite beaming out: “Searching. . Target. . .Hana Gitelman” Close-up of Hana: And they know how we die. This isn’t how I expected to die. Nothing is what I ever expected. And a gun is shoved up against her head. Flashback to three days ago, on swings at a playground at night, somewhere between Texas and New York. It’s “Bennet”, relieved that she’s responded to his alert, with two of the heroes, but she’s angry. I’m getting a little sick of following your orders. I mean, how can we trust your endgame? She addresses “Ted” and “Parkman”: Bennet has us all wrapped around his little finger. Jumping through hoops. Doing your dirty work. She points a gun at him. “Bennet” explains: I’m trying to get your life back to normal.My life has never been normal. Thanks to you it never will be. “Ted” threatens her with his radioactive hand glowing. “Hana” points a second gun at him: You wanna test me? “Ted”:Honestly? Yeah, I kind of do. She asks: What’s the gig? “Bennet” explains their plan to find and disable the Walker tracking system in NYC, but he points to the sky: I need you to destroy the isotope tracking system. Up there. “Hana”: You think I can destroy a satellite? ‘Bennet”: You have no idea what you are capable of. But I know, remember? Flashback, to last year, near the top of the world, bundled up in parkas, surrounded by nothing but snow. “Hana”: I’m going to die. “Bennet”: I thought you Israelis were supposed to be tough. “Hana”: Treck me through he desert with a full pack and a half ration of water and I’ll be fine. But this. . .No one can survive here. I don’t feel so good. “Bennet”:It’s not your body. You’re in perfect condition. It’s your ability. Up here, all the satellite communications. All the e-mails. They buzz around like flies – and you’re the flypaper. She: Make it stop! “Bennet”: Not possible. You have to contain it. She: I can’t, I. . She report, as we see a blaze of energy emanating from her: According to news reports that day, many cell phones and e-mail providers said the temporary glitch in service was due to magnetic activity. But I knew it was because of me! Exhausted, she turned to “Bennet”: Why’d you bring me up here? To make me sick? “Bennet”: To make you realize just how much you are capable of. And she punches him in the face. He removes his broken glasses: Hana, your whole life you wanted to be important. Special. Back to her now pointing a gun in his face: You just might be the most important person on the planet. We need you! While she focuses on the sky, the other heroes wonder if she can pull it off. Bennet: If she can’t no one can. Flash forward to two days to New York City. She enters a crowded dance club in a hot little black dress: In Tel Aviv they call it the end of the world party. Bombs are falling, the world is going to end soon. So you might as well live like there is no tomorrow. So I dance. And drink. And for the first time in a long time I feel alive. And she grabs the nearest guy and gives him a big kiss. She recalls: Once Bennet sent me the specs on the satellite I heard it faintly whispering. It was encrypted. It was lousy with security, passwords and firewalls. I had to go where I could talk to it. She’s looking out an airplane window. Where I could bypass the security. Like the Arctic tundra, there are places where communication is easier. She’s walking through a big city in China. Then she’s on a boat in a lake. And I had to make sure this satellite heard me loud and clear. And for that I’d travel as far as I need to go. I’m glad to see my ride hasn’t left without me. She’s looking at a rocket and attaches herself to it. I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this. Only one problem. Make that five problems. As now there’s five guys pointing guns at her. This is not how I expected to die. In Chapter 34, online, Part 2, “Hana”s remembering 13 years ago: It’s true what they say. Moments before you die your life flashes before your eyes. But I didn’t expect to remember this! She sees herself as a little girl, back in Tel Aviv, with a big red umbrella, jumping off a building, to the grass below. It was two weeks after my mom and grandmother died. My psychologist said I was reaching out for attention. But honestly I thought it would work. That the umbrella would slow me down. That I could fly. Like the angels. I was wrong. My dad said ‘Hana, I know you’re upset about you’re Mom’s death, but you must learn to be more careful!’ My teacher said ‘You must learn to be respectful.’ My drill sergeant said ‘You must lean to obey.’ The man in the horned-rimmed glasses said ‘They’re tracking the isotope with a satellite. You must destroy the satellite. If you don’t, none of us will be safe.’ Back to China: So here I am, careful. Respectful. Obedient –yet. There’s still a gun in my face! This isn’t how I expected to die – and I’m not about to go down without a fight! And she strikes out and manages to wrestle the guns and hold them at bay. I can read and interpret all forms of wireless communication. But I can also send it. Manipulate it. A man comes over with a tank, waving his arms, yelling: Hey, wait! So sorry for the confusion Dr. Gitelman. She got the Chinese government to believe that she’s an engineer from Israel joining this space flight as part of new diplomatic relations between the two countries. All the documents and e-mails were perfectly forged in my mind.It’s all right. I could use the exercise., as the gunmen are ordered to get her back to the based immediately. The next frame has in her skimpy lingerie getting the space suit on getting told the launch is just waiting for her. Like I said, I’m getting pretty good at using this ability. I’ve done some amazing things. But this. . as she gazes at the rocket and prepares for blast-off and then looks out the window happily. But I never expected to be doing this. This is how the angels see this earth– observing –watching everything. And for a moment I forgot the mission. And I forgot about the manipulations. And the pain. And the death. And then my ability kicks in and reminds why I’m here. It’s so strange up here. The wireless communication is so thick I can barely see or hear anything else. The pilot asks her: Are you ready for your spacewalk Dr. Gitelman? She thinks: I’m not. This is crazy, but I can’t let on. I must do this, so I say ‘Let’s go!’ That satellite’s codes are encrypted. I had to get close enough to break through its security systems and communicate with it. I find it quickly, orbiting over Australia. I send a self-destruct order. The onboard guidance system will send it out in the atmosphere where it will burn to a crisp. But the satellite isn’t responding. Something has gone terribly wrong. The satellite had a defense mechanism. A virus. I don’t know how it’s possible, but the virus affected me! This ability, I knew I’ve gotten good. But this. My heart is racing out of control. My brain is pulsing. I’m dying, but I’m not dead. I’ve got to time this perfectly. Vision’s blurring. Can’t breathe. There’s only one chance to succeed.. She leaps onto the satellite. I had to do it. It was the only choice. It was the only way that people like me could be safe. And I didn’t want to be a martyr. And I wasn’t doing it for revenge. Or because I had a death wish. I did it because it was the right thing to do. So I suppose in a lot of ways it was exactly how I expected to die. Later on, she’s communicating by e-mail, as “Samantha48616e61”, with a child hero, “Micah”, who asks: How did you feel when your mom died? Her text message back: Lost. Angry. And it did me no good. It took me a LONG TIME to learn that. He thanks her for the online chat, and asks her name: My name is Hana Gitelman. But you can call me Wireless. And she seems to be in the ether itself as she muses: And the truth is, death is never quite what you expect it to be. It might seem like an ending, but really, the journey is just beginning. In the broadcast episode that went into the future for “Chapter 20: Five Years Gone” by Joe Pokaski she is seen working with “Bennet” in Texas helping to hide the other heroes with special abilities against the genocide program. But she gets shot in the head by the mind-reading hero who is then the head of Homeland Security. (updated 11/9/2007)
The Sarah Silverman Program (on Comedy Central, 6 episodes. 1st season on DVD.) So I’ve avoided discussing here the comedienne in movies (The Aristocrats and Jesus Is Magic) as those appearances reflect her stand-up act rather than a fictional representation, though I’ve enjoyed how she enlivens awards programs as host or presenter and talk shows despite her extreme fondness for saying “vagina” over and over and over again. In her recurring appearances on Monk (in “Mr. Monk and The TV Star” in 2004 and “Mr. Monk and His Biggest Fan” in 2007, both written by producer Andy Breckman) she played “Marci Maven” but otherwise there were zilch Jewish references about her character. But now she’s being like Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm by writing and playing a character who is a sort of a public persona of herself, with her sister Laura playing her sister. At least they are forging a new TV image by portraying funny young Jewish hyper-verbal women who look sweet and attractive like “nice Jewish girls” but are disconcertingly potty-mouthed and borderline offensively off-kilter, either to appeal to the channel’s young male audience or expand to women who would otherwise just tune in the channel later to watch The Daily Show next. Successfully so, according to the 2/5/2007 Hollywood Reporter: “The show's debut [was] the best for a Comedy Central original since. . . 2004. [and] . .in adults 18-49, making it Thursday's most-watched primetime cable program in the demo.” As she announced in a voice-over, the first episode, written by her with Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab: contains full frontal Jew-dity.. When the flirtatious “Officer Jay” confirms that their last name is Silverman, he makes time with Laura: Y’know, I think the Holocaust thing was totally uncalled for. Jewish stereotypes of tzedakah were satirized in the next episode shown “Humanitarian of the Year” as Sarah ups the ante in competition with “Officer Jay” for the title, as she takes in a homeless ex-high school classmate/mental patient “Fred” but claims her motivation was I’m not a religious person but God probably., then sings I did it because I’m a humanitarian! A ghost in the Ladies Room (shades of a scene from Harry Potter) tries to warn her of impending doom but ends up protesting her stereotyping how ghosts talk It’s like saying ‘The N word’ to a black person. Sarah responds with a nonsensical non-sequitur: Interrupting a Jewish person while she’s urinating is like saying the Holocaust never happened so I guess we’re e-e-e-even. Having triggered “Fred”s relapse, the life lesson she learns this week is: If you open your heart and try to help people, they’re eventually going to try and stab you to death. And satirized it’s sad. ”Positively Negative” satirized the stereotype of Jewish families’ closeness. In her opening Sarah shows a slide of gravestones with flowers (but no stones in the Jewish tradition) of her parents Max and Rose Silverman and blithely announces My parents are dead. In her weekly introduction of her gay neighbors, she comments Or ‘gaybors’ as my grandma used to say. When an elementary school teacher introduces her to the class as their guest speaker “Mrs. Silverman”, Sarah smilingly corrects: Mrs. Silverman was my mother and she was a bitch. Over sentimental music, her sister Laura defends her to boyfriend “Jay” the cop, when Sarah is, justifiably, attacked by a mob of protesters for inappropriate grandstanding: She’s my sister and she’s in trouble!. . .I know you don’t like her. Let me tell you a story about what she’s really like. When our father died I cried for days. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. And then Sarah came to me and said ‘Laura, I know you’re really hurting, but it’s time for you to face the fact that our father was a total ass munch. The world is better off with him buried under piles of dirt with worms crapping in his mouth. And stop your crying already. And you know what I did? Stop my crying and I grew up and I became a nurse and I met the most wonderful man. Anyway, that’s my big sister! As to her real life family, in TV Guide 1/29/2007, Silverman cites: “My dad thought it was funny to teach his little girl swear words. He thought it was hilarious when I would yell them at grocery stores.”
In “Muffin Man” with a theme of prejudice and assumptions about trying something new, “Sarah” mishears a word by her sister’s boyfriend “Jay”: You racist. Your girlfriend is Jewish. So am I. So’s Albert Einstein. And she goes on naming famous Jews. “Jay” corrects and mollifies her: Silly, I said dyke. (Yeah, I missed an episode that I’ll catch on a repeat eventually, and I have to get around to commenting on the weird Sarah-sleeps-with-God finale that was originally the pilot episode.) (updated 10/1/2007)
Nora Holden on Brothers & Sisters (on ABC, Sundays at 10 pm.) This soapy family drama went through a lot of writing, producing and casting changes by creator/playwright Jon Robin Baitz just up to and even after getting on the air, with the result that Napa Valley mother and grandmother “Nora Holden” is played by Sally Field but still had to deal with her being Jewish, because her brother is "Saul", played by Ron Rifkin -- shades of the Friends dilemma. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that one of the producers is Greg Berlanti who charmingly handled a daughter of intermarriage at a similar off-kilter angle in Everwoods first, second, third and last season. Even as characters kept repeating with great disbelief "You're Jewish?", writers Chris Olin and Peter Calloway figured out in the "Light the Lights" episode how to deal with the issue by tying together the political rhetoric and personal story lines through an unusual take on the December Dilemma, with an approach that sounded a lot like my similarly political family when I was a kid. Adorable young daughter “Page” is querying her mother, “Sarah Whedon”, played by Rachel Griffiths, about something her Jewish friend has claimed: If your mother is Jewish, you’re Jewish. Is that true? Mom is startled: Uh, yes. Yes it’s true. “Page” persists: So why aren’t we Jewish? Grandma is Jewish, so you’re Jewish, so I’m Jewish. So why don’t we celebrate Hanukkah? Mom continues to be befuddled: That is a very good question, Page. Um, I guess it’s because Grandma never talks about it. “Page”: Well, did she teach you about Christmas? Mom demurs: No, not really. “Page” persists: But you had Christmas? Mom agrees: Yeah, yeah, every year. “Page”: But why? If we’re Jewish, we should be having Hanukkah like Mackenzie and Duncan and Moises. Cut to Grandma’s kitchen: That is a very, very good question. First of all, your grandfather loved Christmas, and he wasn’t Jewish so we that’s what we did. “Page” is even more confused: So you just stopped being Jewish? Grandma is momentarily stymied: Yes, no, no, no, you can’t do that. But you can ethnically be Jewish but at the same time Santa is just so much fun as a symbolic holiday character that represented, as a real, real person, not as a symbol, but as a magical man in a red suit who brings presents. “Page”: But Hanukkah has a menorah and candles and 8 days of presents. Mom intervenes: Honey, is that why you want to be Jewish? Because the loot’s better? Grandma: You see that’s what religion does. It equates spirituality with materialism. “Page”: I don’t want to be Jewish. I thought we are Jewish. Grandma: We’re secular humanists, honey. “Page”: We’re sick what? Mom to her Mom: Okay, Mrs. Sartre, that’s enough. I’ll send you the bills for the therapy. Grandma: The point is Page, religion can often lead to zealotry and war. Exactly what’s happening in the Middle East right now. Which is why I don’t believe in organized religion. What I believe in is the ACLU which is why I have already signed all you kids up. And Grandma chooses to make a snow flake for her holiday party cookies. Mom goes off to a business meeting complaining that Mom should be happy driving one generation bonkers to her brother “Thomas” who is not surprised: What did you expect? . . .I’m sure she’s glad [his wife] is pregnant to have another mind to warp.
We next see grandma and granddaughter shopping for a Christmas tree. “Page”: Grandma, who does God like more – Christians or Jews? Grandma: He likes everybody equally. “Page”: But who does he listen to more? You know, when they pray? Grandma: He listens to everybody, sweetie, he or she or whomever or whatever God is. “Page”: But I need God to listen. Grandma: Why? Why do you need God to listen? “Page”: To make me better. Grandma: Oh Page, do you think God will cure your diabetes if you are Jewish? “Page”, almost in tears: I keep praying and I’m still not better. Maybe it’s because I’m not Jewish enough. Grandma: Is that why you want to celebrate Hanukkah? Oh honey! and she gives her a big hug. Grandma describes her sobbing to two of her other grown children, with the youngest, Dave Annable as “Justin Walker”, protesting that it “sucks” if they therefore won’t celebrate Christmas. Grandma announces that they’ll celebrate both with bells, whistles, latkes, ornaments, carols, the works. Calista Flockhart, as “Kitty Walker” the conservative radio and TV pundit, is pleased: I think it’s great that we’re finally embracing our multi-culture. And Uncle Saul will be in heaven. She’s checking online. Wait a minute, Martha Stewart has Hanukkah recipes? Grandma: I prefer Joy of Cooking. There’s something off about Martha’s, but I can’t put my finger on it. But the point is, that little girl is in the midst of a massive spiritual crisis. “Justin”: What- fried batter is going to cheer her up?. Grandma is now energized and enthusiastic: And candles and songs and prayers. We’ll get a rabbi, we’ll make a video. “Kitty” also gets sarcastic: Hey, why don’t we hire Neil Diamond to come over and sing “Havah Nagilah”? Grandma is insistent: Page has had a horrible year. She wants to look for God then I will put aside my distaste for empty religious ritual and I will look with her. We all will. “Kitty”:Mom, I hate to be a killjoy, but do you remember all those peace marches that you took me to? Do you see what happened? But Mom one ups her: It seems to me that the only thing that happened is that you’ve been offered your own TV show to spout your nonsense, so perhaps my methods were not so foolish after all.
Later, Grandma is reading from a very thick book to her granddaughter, who just wants to play dreidls. Page, this is the Book of Maccabees, the original history of Hanukkah. Don’t you want to learn every detail of why we celebrate? Do you know one of the most important Jewish principles? “Page” is bored: Bagels on Sunday? Grandma laughs: No, knowledge is light and we are seeking knowledge, knowledge from this book. The holiday isn’t just about presents, sweetie pie, no Hanukkah is about religious persecution. But “Page” wants to keep twirling the dreidl: Maybe we could just sing the song? Grandma is insistent: Come, come, come now Page, you wanted Hanukkah and we are going to have it! Her son-in-law warmly greets his daughter, but Grandma proceeds to lecture him: We just learned that the Greek king of Syria outlawed Jewish rituals and ordered the Jews to worship Greek gods like Zeus. That’s outrageous! “Page” pleads: Can we go now Daddy? When “Kitty”s colleague unexpectedly shows up to the party to see a table full of latkes and a menorah set for the first night, he’s nonplussed: What’s going on in here? Grandma proudly explains: It’s Hanukkah. He’s quite startled: You’re Jewish? She stumbles over her response but recovers with pride: Yes, I am, we are. We’re Jewish. But Uncle “Saul” explains that “Page” is hiding upstairs because she’s intimidated by all this. . . I couldn’t be more Jewish, but I’m overwhelmed by your intensity. But Grandma insists: Where’s Page? Is she OK? . . I don’t understand. All of this is for her, let’s go get her. . . We have to light the candles, say the prayers, recite the blessings. . .But this whole night is so Page can have Hanukkah. She insisted on it. “Page”s dad is annoyed: She’s feeling overwhelmed. . .She’s a young girl and she wanted to explore her heritage a little bit. She didn’t enroll in a seminar on Judaism. “Page” comes down all upset: It’s all my fault. I’ve ruined Hanukkah. Uncle “Saul” is reassuring: Is that what I heard? You didn’t ruin Hanukkah! You come with me sweetheart. . . I want to thank you all for joining us to celebrate the miracle of the oil. As you can see this is not a traditional Hanukkah, but anyway who cares? We are here tonight because of Page, because this little girl is searching for a miracle. A lot has been taken away from her this year. A lot has been taken away from all of us. We lost William [the grandfather], a perfect bill of health, we lost relationships, you can lose everything. Judaism teaches us to accept whatever obstacles area placed in front of us. Sometimes they are seemingly insurmountable. But if we have faith, faith in family, in learning, faith in each other, faith in ourselves, if we have that, then we can live, no matter what has come before. And Page that is the miracle of this evening. It is a miracle of faith. That the oil will burn no matter what. So Page you are going to light the first candle. You are going to light the light. He does the first Hebrew blessing and sings a Yiddish lullaby that my mother-in-law Shirley identified as “Oif'N Pripitchuk (By the Fireside)": “The song is literally about little children sitting around a warm place (stove, that is) and learning their ‘ABC's’. The song is very real to me. My mother taught it to me when I was a very small child.” Natalie Minoff of the JCC on the Palisades kindly provided a translation: "A flame burns in the fireplace/The room warms up (as the teacher drills the children in the alef-betz)/Remember dear children, what you are learning here.(Repeat it again and again.)/When you grow older, you will understand that the alphabet contains the tears and the weeping of our people./When you grow weary and burdened with exile, you will find comfort and strength within the Jewish alphabet."
Grandma shows up at the mistress’s front door, with whom the family has been feuding over the will: I brought you an almond popover with lemon curd and strawberries. I made it for Hanukkah. "Holly", the blonde shiksa, played to the hilt by Patricia Wettig, the co-writer’s mom, is sarcastic: You’re Jewish? Again? Now that William is gone? Grandma barely manages not to be exasperated: My granddaughter wanted to celebrate Hanukkah. We just had a lovely little party. The mistress continues: How do I know it’s not poisoned? Grandma perseveres: I came here to forgive you. From the bottom of my heart. And they have quite the heart to heart exchange.
”Page” is sitting with her mom in front of the family Christmas tree. So you’ve had your first night as a Jewish household, what have you learned? That God blesses every family regardless of religion? “Page”: And that Hanukkah can be as much fun as Christmas, which is my favorite holiday again. . . Mom why did I get diabetes? Was I bad? And Mom explains that you have to have faith that it will get easier to deal with and they’ll always love her, etc. etc. The mom later approaches the mistress: This will be brief. We’re going to buy our Christmas ornaments. The mistress smirks: I thought you were doing Hanukkah this year. In the spirit of compromise in their negotiation, the mom rejoins: We’re doing both. . .Welcome to the family business. The closing shot is through the window of the family celebration, pulling back to show the lit decorated tree and the second night of Hanukkah candles, accompanied by Sarah McLachlan covering Gordon Lightfoot’s “Song for a Winter's Night”. Because "Nora"s Jewishness is so quizzical, I'll only monitor her representation in this series when it reflects her ethnicity in any way, as the characters with no comment sat down to Easter dinner in “Game Night” by Molly Newman.
With “Sexual Politics” by Monica Owusu-Breen & Alison Schapker (and directed, incidentally, by Sandy Smolan, the son of a family friend) the typical Softening of “Nora” proceeded: “Kitty, I’m so confused. I went from my father’s house to my husband’s house with nothing in between. It’s not like you. Your life was always yours, the choices you made, the life you created belonged to you. . .I did like [being at home.] I would not trade a single moment of it. But now with your father gone and you kids’ grown, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life. . I have to give myself some time to figure out who I am without having anyone else to account to. Just the next episode title of “Something Ida This Way Comes”, by Sherri Cooper and David Marshall Grant, set up the wicked Jewish grandmother to differentiate “Nora” by comparison and presumably get all the shibboleths about Jewish mothers out of the way, so I’m quoting this episode at length that I expect not to continue to do so. Though the word “Jewish” in describing her is never repeated from the Hanukkah episode, nor, oddly, are any Yiddishims uttered, she is played by Marion Ross, matriarch of the nostalgic TV series Brooklyn Bridge.
Brother“Saul” to “Sister Nora”: You are many things, but low maintenance is not one of them. “Nora” answers the doorbell: Mom ! Oh my God Mom! Mother what are you doing there? “Ida”: It’s your birthday. What do you think I’m doing here? “Nora”: Mother, I think it was supposed to be a surprise. I guess these things can happen. “Ida”: So now it’s my fault. Get my bags, the cabdriver left them. “Nora” confronts her brother: I certainly didn’t think you would invite OUR mother to a surprise party which I didn’t want without some warning in the first place. “Saul”: But she’s here because she loves you. “Nora”: Don’t! She never even came to my husband’s funeral. What kind of mother is that? “Ida” drops something in the kitchen as it goes off: You have so many fancy gadgets. Do you even use half this stuff? “Nora”: I like to cook Mother. “Ida”: Using all this stuff isn’t cooking. It’s cheating. An odd joke of ignorance is thrown in where daughter “Kitty” (Calista Flockhart) is madly calling around for an alternative caterer and is surprised by one: You’re STRICTLY kosher? Say I just wanted a little cream sauce. . .?
At the party, “Ida” complains, amidst the last minute medieval theme and it turns out the family has not only been hiding from her that the oldest son is gay as she goes on and on about him finding a nice girl, but also that the youngest son is on leave from rehab which is why the party is dry: Nora, a peasant girl just told me there’s no alcohol! What is going on here? Though she likes the look of Kitty’s boss: Who’s the movie star? as who wouldn’t say that when he’s played by Rob Lowe, who explains that he provided the last minute chef. Well thank God for you or there would be nothing to eat EITHER.. “Nora” literally starts climbing the walls (at least this counters the stereotype of Jewish women as non-drinkers): Where’s the booze? . . Mom is driving me crazy! I’m going to end up institutionalized on my 60th birthday? “Saul”: Why do you let her get to you? Why don’t you just walk away? “Nora: Oh, where would I go? She’s like a heat-seeking missile! “Saul”: How do you let her do this to you? You’re both behaving like children! “Nora”: How am I behaving like a child? “Saul”: You both blame each other for the same thing Nora! “Nora”: What has she been telling you? “Saul”: Nothing, just that there’s so much misunderstanding going on here. “Nora”: No I understand everything she says. I wish I didn’t. “Saul”: All right, tell me something. Did you tell her not to come to William’s funeral? She told me that you didn’t want her there. “Nora”: I can’t believe you listen to her. She asked me if it would be all right if she went on a cruise to the Bahamas. What was I supposed to do? Say, no Mother I really think it’s be a better idea if you would come to my husband’s funeral?”Saul: Well maybe she just wanted you to tell her that you wanted her to come. “Nora:\”: You know what? It was not about her. It’s not my responsibility to make her feel better. Why do you always take her side? They find booze and down it quickly.
When the truth comes out about the sons, and why didn’t they tell her all these years?, Grandma’s mouth drops open. “Nora” retorts: Oh Mother stop acting so horrified, you’re enjoying every second of this. “Ida”: What else do I not know about this family? “Nora”: All right you want to know so I’m going to tell you. Mother, William cheated on me. Yes, is that what you wanted to hear? William had an affair with another woman for almost half my marriage. And not only that, hold on, he was also an embezzler. A very successful embezzler, but an embezzler none the less. Are you happy now? “Ida”: Well I’m not happy. I’m not surprised, but I’m not happy. “Saul” intervenes that he’s going to take her to his house and then home the next day. “Ida” complains: But what did I do? “Saul”: This is Nora’s birthday and she has had a terrible year. You have not been nice to her since you got here. I’m sorry I invited you, really I am. “Ida” I never understood this family. “Saul”: That’s because you never even tried. Ida walks out.
The kids discuss “the serious family drama” they witnessed. Middle hunky son “Thomas” (played by Balthazar Getty): Can we talk about Grandma? Gay son “Kevin” (played by hunky Matthew Rhys): I mean she’s nice to us. But forget with Mother she’s like Joan Crawford. “Tommy”: Can you imagine having THAT as your parent? Sister “Sarah”: You got to hand it to her. She turned out pretty well considering. They toast Mom from their hidden stash.
”Nora”: goes up to her mother’s guest room: Stop packing. You’re not going anywhere tonight. I know you never liked William. What was it you always called him? The Charmer? Ida: The Operator. “Nora”: You didn’t want me to get hurt. You were being my mother. When I think of somebody hurting my kids. . . But Mother, listen to me. Grown up kids make big ole grown-up mistakes. And you were right, weren’t you? I’ve tried to imagine why he needed somebody else. I’ll never really understand it. But Mother, I want you to know Mother that we had a good marriage. “Ida”: I know! You father spent all of our marriage in the office, at least that’s what he said. In any case, it was hardly a great marriage. Not even a good one. And when I looked at yours, I could see. . There were times I almost left. “Nora”: Why didn’t you? “Ida”: There was you and Saul. I didn’t want to be alone. I realize now that I am anyway. And, Nora, I wanted to come to William’s funeral, but I thought that I had said so many terrible things about him that you wouldn’t want me there. So I told you about the cruise because I wanted to give you an easy way to say ‘Don’t come’. She cries. “Nora’: Oh Mother. I didn’t want to insist that you come. I just didn’t want to take care of you that day. I wanted someone to take care of me. “Ida” gives her a framed baby picture as a birthday present: That’s you. That’s the oldest picture I could find. You were so beautiful, even as an infant. There wasn’t a day I didn’t hear someone say that you looked like a Sears Roebuck doll. . .You must have done something right. You’ve got a house full of joy. If I didn’t call Saul on Sundays, I would never hear from either one of you. “Nora”: That’s not true. I’m glad you came mom. The next morning “Nora”s says she’s feeling better now that your grand mother is headed to the airport. “Kevin”: We all feel terrible about your childhood. “Nora”: That’s a reversal. I just hope I’m not like her. But I think I’m a little like her. I mean I’m opinionated like her, and stubborn. And she says whatever the hell comes to her mind. “Kevin”: Not such a bad role model for a girl in the ‘50’s. Or a gay man now. “Nora”: Genetics is very strong thing. (Commenting about the flu the siblings all have.) You look awful! “Kevin”: Thank you Ida.
“Saul” comes in: She’s headed back to the desert with the other scorpions. “Nora”: Saul, thank you for last night and everything with mother. You haven’t done that since right after my 7th grade Christmas recital, remember? “Saul”: Right, she said you couldn’t sing. “Nora”: Well I couldn’t sing, but she didn’t have to tell me. Well, you’ve been a good big brother, then and now. . . You have to rinse those before you put them in the dishwasher. “Saul”: Nora - shut up. “Nora": Okay, I’ll just rinse them later.
Though in an 4/20/2007 interview in EW with Rachel Griffiths by Alynda Wheat about relating to her character had zilch mention of Jewishness, their insight is significant: “[W]hat Griffiths knows how to do is a rarity in television: She makes her women feminine and forceful. ‘I don’t really understand women who [aren’t]. Get someone small and blond to play that person. It’s not in my nature.’” The mother/daughter relationship issue was revisited in “The Other Walker” by Monica Owusu-Breen & Alison Schapker. Amidst a soap opera plot about the discovery first of a mistress then of her having a daughter by their late father, daughter “Sarah” walks in on Mom buried in a self-help book, complaining So far it’s just pages and pages of vague platitudes. “Sarah” isn’t in the mood for a book review: Mom, you’ve been avoiding my calls. I wish I could turn back the clock. I wish I could have made a different decision but I didn’t. You seem angrier at me than[her brothers] Am I wrong? “Nora: Probably not. “Sarah”: You hold me to a different standard than anyone else. It’s not fair. “Nora”: Yes, you’re right. It’s not fair. I just always felt this connection with you. You raise a boy and you don’t expect them to tell you anything. You’re lucky if they acknowledge you on their way out the door. But you always confided in me. I felt you trusted me to handle whatever came along. I never had that relationship with my mother. I always thought I had that with you. “Sarah: Mom, I do have that relationship with you. The last thing I wanted in the world was to hurt you. ‘Nora”: I know. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t. Mother/daughter issues continued with secular Jewish cultural resonances in “All in the Family” by Sherri Cooper-Landsman and David Marshall Grant. Mom hosted the first dinner with the newly discovered daughter of the mistress. “Sarah”: I got to hand it to you mom. That was quite a party. How was it that you were able to do that? I mean, living with Dad and his whole Republican personal responsibility spiel, you always managed to show us how important it was to give. Mom: The world’s not fair. You do what you can. “Sarah”: That’s exactly what I mean. I’m often astounded by your compassion. I don’t understand why it doesn’t extend to me? Mom, I came here because I want things to be better about us. I need you to care about me the way you care about the world Mom: That’s not true. Of course I love you., but she bursts into tears. I’m sorry. I’m just so mad. Your father’s dead and I need someone to be furious with. It’s so sorry to tell someone who is not around anymore to go to hell. (updated 4/23/2007)
I don't agree about the series’ quality, as I think it’s mostly a self-righteous soap opera, but here's an appreciation of actress and character from Dorothy Rabinowitz in "Studios Turn Up the Lights", The Wall Street Journal 12/22/2006: "Sally Field as Nora, the family matriarch, a woman disposed to a kind of liberal hysteria that addles the mind -- she's not happy about the conservative views of daughter Kitty. . . But Nora wasn't conceived to be anything like a joke mother. She's pure steel, an enemy terrifying in battle. To have viewed an early scene in which Nora graciously entices Holly, the woman who has been her deceased husband's lover, to her home and a large family dinner -- to have seen her brilliant posturing and malice, every madly embittered twinkle, as she moves in for the kill and reveals, to the family (and the similarly innocent TV audience), that she's known all along precisely who and what this woman is -- was to grasp how exceptional a drama series this could turn out to be." In the 11/16/2006 TV Guide, creator Baitz also enthused about his casting, though he made no reference to Jewish characters: “I believe in the story we’re trying to tell—that of an American family who loses its blessing and tries to reclaim them. I believe in the face of Sally Field, which carries her experience and her age with pride, undeniable light and fierce intelligence. I love seeing an American woman over forty who has not succumbed to the temptations of altering her features. I believe in the power of the women in our show and their sensitivity and pride.” (Hmm, and the majority of its viewers who are women too probably.) “I believe in the Walker family as Americans struggling to hold on to their ideals and struggling to love one another, or risk losing the delicate, invisible web of interconnection that sustains them. . . I said yes to television when I realized that I had to try to understand what holds this country together during a time of war and economic disparity and red-state/blue-state mistrust and rage. I thought that a show could talk about that, and if it worked, if it was funny and real, there would be a place for it.” But he was dropped from the show amidst the second season, with his explanation of why it’s no longer focusing on an older women and her ethnicity and what might have been. The disappearance of “Nora”s Jewishness was confirmed in the second season’s “The Missionary Imposition” episode by Daniel Silk and Brian Studler. She is on a date with Danny Glover’s “Isaac Marshall” who relates how he visited Africa to trace his roots. She muses: I don’t know where I come from. If I were to explore my ancestry, I don’t know where I’d go. I’m a little of this and a little of that. I’m a mutt. He reassures her: You’re a very well put together mutt. (updated 2/14/2008)
Ziva David on NCIS -- (on CBS, rerunning on USA, out on DVD with extras: Cast roundtable (parts 1 & 2), Ducky's World, Behind the Set: The Production Design of NCIS, Dressed to Kill: Dressing the Sets of NCIS, Prop master, Picture Perfect: The Looks of NCIS, Season of Secrets) “Ziva” was at the center of the opening episode of her second year on the series, "Shalom", teleplay by John C. Kelley, from story by Kelley and producer Donald P. Bellisario. She's got cool taste in music, listening to one of my favorite Latin rock bands Kinky in her snazzy sports car as motorcyclists get her attention and she flashes back to an explosive operation in Paris -- just as they lead her to an explosion in Georgetown. Her squad is starting to worry about her not showing up for work. The recently promoted "Tony" is sanguine: What are the two things you know about Officer David? The new probie responds smartly: Don't make her angry. He adds: And she can take of herself. She, however, is now angry with her Mossad supervisor, who goes on about how sorry her father the Mossad chief is about not seeing her. "Ziva": And does he wonder why I hardly talk to him any more? They argue about the assassination she has just witnessed of a Syrian in U.S. custody, he denying it was Mossad, which would jeopardize U.S.- Israeli relations, and she proclaiming her effectiveness as a liaison with NCIS. Then he shows her photographs: Did you or did you not sleep with your new team leader? Starting three months ago, he's been visiting your apartment at least one night a week. "Ziva": My father has you spying on me? . . .These days I don't know what to believe. She finds out the FBI wants to arrest her for murder and espionage. He reassures: Your father will find a way out of this. But "Ziva" recalls the source of their estrangement: Like he did for my brother? She of course easily overcomes her Mossad guard, with saucy dialogue: Ever been tied up by a woman before? Did you enjoy it? She uncharacteristically sobs for help on the phone to her retired boss "Gibbs" down in Mexico: Save me? Turns out it's all an Iranian plot to discredit her father, as she gets in a somewhat silly cat fight with the woman Iranian agent that she concludes with: I'm not making you a martyr. You're under arrest. The Iranian as a Mata Hari for 2006 scoffs: Your time with the Americans has made you soft. But "Ziva"s stereotyped Israeli-ness has been tamed - she throws a tape recorder of the agent's confession to her colleagues: I've been with NCIS for a year. I'm not just a killer any more. Now can I go home? Which certainly would be a new interpretation of American handling of terrorists to "Jack Bauer" on 24, let alone President Bush.
In "Singled Out", by David J. North, she continues to banter with "Tony", particularly about her reckless driving, but the script suddenly has her questioning him about "a mysterious girlfriend" that he denies, so their implied romantic dalliance seems scotched. There is a funny interlude when she incompetently goes undercover as a computer nerd at speed-dating that she doesn't quite understand as "Gibbs" has to order her to Turn up the charm. You're a geek, not mentally deranged. She's ready to wreak revenge on a suspect just for putting his hand on her butt.
"Witch Hunt" by Steven Kriozere continued the now somewhat tired motifs of "Ziva" being uncomfortable with a victim's wife: I'm just never good with the crying and the women. She thinks she's being sensitive in her questioning when she comments to the mother of the kidnapped child: I know what it's like to lose a member of my family. and mangles the English language: I allowed myself to feel sorry for her and that makes me a chimp. "Agent McGee" similarly disparages her alienation from other women in "Once A Hero" by Shane Brennan by pointing out she didn't think to find a victim's purse. She, of course, resents the implication: Does every woman have a bag? He sputters: You're not a, you're not normal. . . You're right, not every woman has a bag. At least her idiomatic English has progressed to punning when she purrs to "Tony" You look run over. You need servicing. as that was in response to him bragging that his body is a finely tuned engine.
"Sandblast" by producer Robert Palm assumed she was a bomb expert (even though she thinks all suicide bombers are crazy). While everyone else on the team clears out when they realize they've been set up by a CIA informant, "Ziva" charges in to defuse the bomb, though she has to deal with flirtatious language from her co-worker that Keanu never had to in Speed as he teases: I can see down your shirt now. . . But I'm not sure it's worth dying for. Of course, she cuts the right wires in the nick of time, to mixed praise from their boss: Nice job, Ziva. But if you ever do anything like that again, I'll kick your ass back to Israel. So when later another bomb is discovered, she's sardonic with him: Do you want me to defuse it because before you said you'd kick my ass. . . And she succeeds with five seconds to go. She similarly heroically rescues the Director in "Once A Hero", in the nick of time blocking her from a falling body at a reception.
In "Twisted Sister" by Steven D. Binder and "Smoked" by John C. Kelley and Robert Palm, we learn that "Agent McGee" has pseudonymously written a series of roman a clef spy novels, Deep Six: The Continuing Adventures of L. J. Tibbs, with loosely-changed characters from his "the essence" of his co-workers. So "Lisa", based on "Ziva", is "the sultry and emotionally distant Mossad officer" who longs to have "Tommy" on the "crystal white sands of her homeland." Inspired to tease by the book fantasy, she breathily leans over "Tony" at his computer: It takes all of my willpower to resist all my urges around you. . . Because my father wouldn't approve. He: Because I'm not Jewish? She: Because he disapproves of killing a co-worker.
”Suspicion” by Shane Brennan tiredly repeated the type of encounter “Ziva” had with a sheriff in the boondocks last season, though this time in a case with Middle Eastern resonance as they are chasing down a Muslim sleeper cell, when he sneers at her Jewish star: And where are you from Ziva She sneers back: The city. He later tries to make amends: Y’know, I didn’t mean anything ‘bout what I said earlier.Yes you did. Then a suspect similarly notices her necklace: You’re a Jew? Israeli? Mossad? . . So now you’re as suspicious of me as I am of you. Is it always going to be like this? “Ziva”: At least in our lifetime. The same good ole’ boy sheriff later makes nasty comments about Muslims, and “Ziva” bristles: You insult his religion, then you insult mine and yours. Say you’re sorry. “Ziva” later explains her curiosity about “Tony”: It’s our Mossad training. We’re taught to push, push, push, and not give up. Her boss snorts: Or until you get your ass licked.
With “Ziva” and her sexy banter a prominent reason that NCIS is the only show bearing up against the American Idol onslaught, “Dead Man Walking”, by Nell Scovell, could have had an AKA of “Ziva in Love”, as her other defining characteristics were re-established in the opening, as “Tony” assumes she can identify their colleague’s fancy new jacket: Why do you assume I knew the designer? Because I’m a woman? Because I’m Jewish? “Tony”s surprisingly honest response: Because you’re a good detective. While in the previous episode she attracted the interest of a cop who at the end died in the line of duty, she fell head over heels for a DOA-style irradiated nuclear arms inspector. Highly unusual for such a TV series, it was not lust at first sight, but grew out of mutual interests and compatible personalities, so I’ll document their doomed courtship. First, she racks her brain to figure out why she recognizes handsome “Lt. Roy Sanders” and surprises her colleagues that it’s not from work: Ziva has personal connections? They click immediately, from her first being knocked against him in the ambulance and her interrogation: Sorry, that was too blunt. He smiles: I like blunt. But as he relates his day they realize they both run at 5:30 a.m. on a trail along the Potomac across the Arlington Memorial Bridge: I pass you every morning. I’m going east, you’re going west. Don’t you recognize me? You have to picture me sweaty and panting, and you know. She holds up her hair. After that description what guy wouldn’t claim to recognize her? Yeah, of course. I know you. You have a smooth stride, great carriage. I often turn after you pass to admire your technique. You have a very cute, tight technique. For the first time ever, she laughs at such a line. Continuing the interview, she asks if he has a girlfriend and he mirrors her thinking: I never met a woman who could understand why I do what I do. She finishes for him: The focus, the risks, the sacrifices. He continues: But I love what I do. I truly believe there are good guys who need protection and bad guys who need monitoring. She continues for him: It’s a mission, not a job. He: ’All that’s needed for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.’ She’s startled: That’s my favorite quote ever! (The full quote is actually “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil. . .” and is attributed but not documented to be by Edmund Burke.) He later notes that he’s informed his parents and his tough father’s reaction: Every problem has a solution. She’s a bit ironical: He sounds a lot like my father. He smiles: I would like you to meet them. Does that sound weird? Out walking in the hospital garden, he jokes about fighting with his sister and she dryly notes: Someday I’ll tell you about my family. He’s gentle back: Don’t wait too long. He almost faints and she lunges to keep him upright: I have to get you into bed. Sorry, it’s my English. and uncharacteristically blushes about her malapropism. Trying to stay professional investigating his co-workers she suggests to one he rebuffed Maybe he’s gay. who responds with regret: No, I saw the way he looked at you. She takes out her frustration on the vending machine when “Tony”, who has been hiding his own romantic relationship from her, points out that she’s falling in love, in a very atypical exchange between them as she accuses him of being no expert on the subject: Part of me just wants to run. I can’t believe this is happening to me, of all people. How should I take it? Character building? Life affirming? “Tony” continues to warn her and she gets sarcastic: The next time Lt. Sanders and I ‘stay up talking’ we’ll use a lead condom. She retrieves “Roy”s neon orange cap that had led her to recognize him as a fellow jogger, hugs it and puts it on his head, as he asks if she would have noticed that he wasn’t on the trail any more: I won’t forget you now. And they clutch hands, in the series’ emblematic black-and-white freeze frame conclusion. Sidelong looks from her colleagues are at first the only acknowledgment of this brief relationship in the following episode “Skeletons” by Jesse Stern, until the goth lab tech “Abby” thinks she’ll be sympathetic to her own break-up. But “Ziva” is characteristically stoic and resists a hug: I liked him. He died. What else is there to say? But there’s sweets hints that she’s still haunted episodes later in “Iceman” by Shane Brennan. She’s late to work for the first time because she changed her running route, misjudging the time as she wore “Roy”s orange cap. When a corpse seems to recover, she mutters I’ve had enough of ‘dead men walking’. That Jewish star necklace of hers is once again a close-up focus when questioning an Arab as he sneers: If we were in Israel, I’d be in your office instead of you in mine.
In “Grace Period” by John C. Kelley, “Ziva” is in tense competition with a female shell-shocked NCIS agent whose team was killed in a bombing who keeps mispronouncing her last name with the usual accent on the wrong syllable. “Gibbs” intervenes sarcastically as the estrogen spill threatens to turn into testosterone: Are you getting soft on me Officer David? “Ziva” explains: Look, I know what she’s going through. Sometimes you need to find some thing or some one to focus your anger on. It’s your only relief. “Gibbs”: Of course the drawback is you know they tend to hate you. For life. “Ziva”: If it helps her get through it, I can deal with that. The other agent is still fuming, to “Tony”: I don’t know how you work with her. . . What do you think Gibbs would do if I slapped her? “Tony”: I’m more worried what she’d do. A Mossad assassin and all. “Ziva” explains what they’ll do when the suspects show up as they set a trap: And we’ll kill them. “Tony” hastens to correct her: We catch them is the preferred term. But the other female agent is admiring: I like hers better. The agent laughs when “Ziva” reacts to a suddenly closed door: I didn’t think anything could make you jump, Officer David. “Ziva”: That was merely a reflex. Officer: In American we call that jumping. “Ziva” admonishes her, but surprisingly gentle: In Mossad, we call that the difference between life and death.
She’s again wearing the orange hat as she comes in her jog at the opening of each episode. In “Cover Story” by David J. North, “Tony” protests about the character created by their colleague that only seems as if it’s based on her: Come on, he’s not writing about you as Lisa and her broken heart. She too dismisses the similarity: The whole point about Lisa and the memento she keeps from a relationship that was never allowed to happen. And they both agree how unrealistic it is that the two would pour out their hearts to each other, as in the book. We do learn that “Ziva” claims her French is better than her English.
”Trojan Horse” by producers Donald P. Bellisario and Shane Brennan was a bit inconsistent in revelations about her. As she struggles to figure out what the team is discussing when they compare “first times”, she reveals: My first time was in a weapons carrier. They respond in unison: Of course! So we’re supposed to believe that she waited until she was over 18 in the army? In the ambiguous season finale “Angel of Death” by outgoing producer Bellissario is she obsessively tracking “Tony” by cell phone messages because of romantic jealousy or just partner concern as she claims? (updated 10/28/2007)
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold and daughter Sarah in the second half of the 3rd Season (out on DVD)
In “Manic Monday” by Doug Ellin, Marc Abrams and Michael Benson, “Ari”s gay Chinese-American assistant “Lloyd” is allied with her: The Mrs. said you didn’t eat dinner again last nigh. “Ari”: Why do you talk so much? “Lloyd”: We like each other. . .When he’s done you will be at couples therapy. Yes! Later at therapy, the Mrs. explains she knows something’s wrong with him because his eating and sleeping has been atypical: I didn’t see him sleep past 5:30 since 1993. And that he didn’t even go to the Lakers game in order to avoid his ex-client: He’s been in a funk since he got fired. And then of course there was the birthday party incident. . . “Ari” apoplectically protests: I came here today because I thought this was a session n how my wife could learn to communicate. How to answer a question without a question. Basic Humanity 101, which I thought given your wall of fucking diplomas you could easily fix. Or if you couldn’t you could give her a pill that could either fix it or make her a mute. But now to turn around and gang up on me? I have work to do! I have hundreds of clients to deal with and just so we’re clear I don’t care about any of them. They’re all just a number. Just like Wife #1 and Therapist #7. He storms out and the Mrs. apologetically says to Nora Dunn, playing the therapist: You’re really only our fifth. Later he tracks the therapist down at her weekly golf game to admit his wife was right. She advises: You can right now stop, work hard and go in a direction to make yourself a decent positive member of society. . .or you can go back to the low life narcissistic grunt I’ve watched berate his wife for a year a half in my office. He protests: I knew you were on her side! But maybe the Mrs. is having an impact because in “Dog Day Afternoon” by Ellin and Rob Weiss, “Ari” displays a shocking bout of ethics. They are in the car and she queries: Ari, are you OK? What’s the matter? You’ve been in a fog since dinner! He sighs: I sold my soul today baby. She: What do you mean? He: Just what I said. But for what? So we can have two shower heads and a plasma in every room? She: Tomorrow’s a new day, Ari. And remember you always have a chance to get it back. He:We’re Jews baby, no we don’t. As Donna Summers’ disco hit “She Works Hard for the Money” comes on the car radio, he swerves the car around as she screams: What are you doing? He rescues “Lloyd” from a just-signed gay writer with the epithet: We may be whores at my agency, but we’re not pimps. “Lloyd” cheers: Ari Gold, you’re my hero!
”Gotcha!” by Rob Weiss and Ellin was more about how the relationship between “Ari” and his Mrs. grounds his ambitions, as it opened with them preparing for a visit from his old college buddy. Mrs.: How come any time I ask you to take a day you can’t, but your little pledge brother comes to visit and you clear your calendar? “Ari”: Because any time you ask, I have a really important meeting. Just the luck of the draw, baby. Mrs., laughing: Why is he staying with us anyway? “Ari”: Because not everyone can afford a hotel room in Beverly Hills. Mrs.: Well, not everyone likes to get sexually harassed by your fraternity brothers. “Ari”: We have not seen Scott Siegel in 10 years. Let’s not live in the past. Mrs.: Oh the past, where he’d yell ‘Hey, sweet ass!’ at me and you’d laugh like an idiot? “Ari”: He was funny! Mrs.: Yeah, I never thought so. “Ari”: That’s because you don’t have a sense of humor. Do you know that he was ahead of Conan O’Brian at The Lampoon? (That’s a change from previous references to their alma maters, as he wasn’t previously identified as a Harvard, or Ivy League, alum.) Mrs.: Yeah, and now he’s making ‘em laugh as a bartender at Hooter’s. Who’da thunk it? “Ari”: That’s when he was 27. He could be a manager of Hooters now for all we know. Mrs.: and his fiancée is staying here as well? “Ari”: No, he’s naturally going to keep her locked up in the car. Mrs.: Well, he probably should if she’s anything like the girl he brought to the wedding. “Ari” giving her a kiss: Scott could never get good looking women, but at least he’s found love. Oh God, I hope she’s not another. . . (a few unintelligibles there) Doorbell rings and she laughs: Oh God! He’s early!
”Scott” (played by Arte Lange): There they are – the most powerful couple in L.A.! “Ari”: It’s my man! How are you doing? “Scott” to Mrs.: Wow – look at you! You haven’t aged a day! Whaddya do – pilates three days a week? Mrs., pleased and blushing: Stop it! “Scott”: Come here – let me feel that tautness. It’s a joke, I’m kidding. A little humor for old times’ sake. You look gorgeous. Get over here – I get a hug or what? Mrs. demurs, then laughs: OK, yes. You! “Ari”: So where’s this alleged fiancée of yours? “Scott”: Aw, she’s comin’. Hey, baby, I wanna show you off. And in comes a young blonde knock-out, played by Leslie Bibb, in slo-mo: I scored big time, huh? And Jewish. Well, she’s converting. Gonna have her bat mitzvah three weeks before the wedding. That’s an unusual occurrence on Jewish relationships in TV shows. To Mrs.: It could have been you if you didn’t reject me so many times. The “Golds” are uncharacteristically struck dumb, until they can finally manage to greet her and shake her hand, and she kisses “Scott”, who makes introductions: Baby, meet the only girl that could have kept us from being together. Mrs.: I don’t think so. So nice to meet you, Laurie.
They are BBQing in the back yard. “Scott” is slathering sunscreen on “Laurie” by the pool. “Ari” to Mrs.:How the heck did he get her? Seriously? Mrs.:What – are you jealous? He: No! Maybe? She: Hey, if that’s what you want, Ari, it’s not too late. He: Over ten years of marriage and no pre-nup, I think that’s a little past too late. (That’s a reference to California’s 50% communal property rule for divorces after 10 years of marriage, that Tom Cruise famously made sure to just miss when he dumped Nicole Kidman.) She: Whatever. He: Don’t whatever me, baby. Answer me –the question, baby, is how the fuck could he have possibly gotten that? She: Ari, he is one of your oldest friends. He: I love him, baby, but in college he couldn’t close a screen door. She: Well, I think you were right. It seems like he’s changed. He: The sexual harasser? She: Well, he’s grown into himself. He, imitating “Scott”s voice: He wanted to feel your tautness! She, walking away: I guess pilates has paid off. Nice that somebody has noticed.
”Laurie” shows off a huge engagement ring. “Scott” brags about what it cost, and his Bentley. She gushes: He bought me one too. For Hanukah. “Scott” corrects her pronunciation, exaggerating a hard “ch”. “Ari” teases him for having worked at Hooter’s and “Scott” asks him to stop – and “Laurie”s surprised because he hadn’t told her. “Scott”: Years ago, don’t hold it against me. It was back during my, y’know, make my parents feel like they fucked me up phase. Mrs. agrees, as she points her sarcasm at herself and reveals a bit more than we knew before: I know that phase. Two years skiing in Aspen. And then I was an ‘actress’. “Laurie” concurs: Culinary school. But then I finally got it together and went to medical school, so. The “Golds” are again dumbfounded. Mrs.: What? You’re a doctor? “Scott”: Radiology. “Laurie”:I’m still only a resident. Mrs.That is very impressive. “Scott”: And she’s only 26! Just a baby! They kiss. “Ari”: So what are you doing, Scottie?, as he runs down all the lame stuff he last heard “Scott” was doing. “Scott” Yeah, Ari wanted me to come out here to work for him as if I was still his little brother back at the frat. Actually, Ari, I don’t do anything. And he proceeds to explain how he’s an internet $65 millionaire from developing and selling stamps.com. The “Golds” are again dumbfounded. Mrs. You know, Scott, that is an amazing story. I always knew you’d find your way. “Scott” proposes a toast: To all of our success and to our most beautiful women! Mrs.: Oh, Scott that is very sweet!
The “Golds” are dressing for dinner in their bedroom. She looks gorgeous in sexy lingerie, he’s in a towel. “Ari”: We should just tell them to go to a hotel. I mean, they can afford it. She, imitating his voice: Hmm, what a difference six hours makes. When I said that, you said ‘It’s only one night. Shit, you can do that in a Mexican jail and come out almost as clean as you went in’, I believe was the quote. He: When we were 25 it was funny when he would say how hot you are. Now, it’s just annoying. She: No, when we were 25 he’d say stuff like ‘Show me your tits!’ or ‘if I hit this shot from half court how about a blow job?’ and you’d laugh your ass off. Now he’s sort of complimentary and it’s kind of sweet. He: No, it’s kind of sickening. She: You know what I think? I think that you like Scott as a loser with no money and no girls and now he’s got more money than you and a younger girl and you’re sort of threatened. He: Threatened?! She: Yes, threatened. And it’s really immature, Ari. He: Oh, it’s immature that I don’t like my adult friend speaking to my wife like that. Well, obviously you do and he does. So why don’t we see how Scott likes it when I start drooling over the future Mrs. Siegel’s soon-to-be-Jewish ass?
The two couples are at dinner. Mrs.: Scott, this steak is terrific! “Laurie” beams: Glatt kosher. “Scott: Y’know, we passed by a butcher on Fairfax and I said we had to get it for you guys. “Ari”: We’re not kosher, Scott. Mrs.: Well it was still thoughtful. “Laurie”, with a malapropism: It’s clean meat. Glatt, right? “Scott”, sharing a laugh with Mrs., as “Ari” burns: And lean. Not that you need to worry about that. “Ari”: I’m surprised you eat red meat, Laurie. “Laurie”: Why? “Ari”, as Mrs. tries to stop him: I mean with a body like that. . Mrs. interrupts: So tell us about the honeymoon? “Laurie” It’s going to be amazing! “Ari”: It’s going to be amazing, like that body! Mrs., quickly: 27 days you say? “Laurie”: Yeah, yeah. Just the two of us. “Scott” explains the yacht trip. Mrs.: Sounds amazing. Truly amazing. “Ari”: What? Our honeymoon sucked? C’mon! Mrs.: And our honeymoon was amazing, Ari. “Ari”: So we only made it to Hawaii. We didn’t have any money, like most people don’t when they get married. “Scott”: Well, I’m sure, look wherever you went with this beautiful woman was absolutely heavenly.Thank you Scott. “Ari”: Just as I’m sure wherever you go with this little hottie will be more than amazing. Fuck, it will be orgasmic. I mean, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but ever since you got here I have not been able to take my eyes off your ass, I mean it is the perfect shape. It’s like God came down, hand-crafted it, put it on a little silver tray and hand-delivered it to my man Scottie. Bravo Scott boy! Bravo! Let me get some Scotch! Mrs., very embarrassed, gets up from the table: I am so sorry.
The “Golds” are in their living room. Mrs.: Ari! What the fuck is wrong with you! “Ari”: What? Too much? Mrs.: Just a little. “Ari”: Pay back is a bitch. Mrs.I cannot believe how jealous you are of him! It is ridiculous! “Ari”: He won the lottery! Stamps.com? Are you kidding me? Mrs.: What don’t you have Ari? Sorry, is this not enough for you? “Ari”: It is enough for me, but I’m starting to feel that maybe it’s not enough for you? Mrs.: You’re right Ari. It’s not enough for me. Which is why I stuck it out with you this long. In the hopes that your college friend who nauseated me would make $65 million and come back and rescue me from you. “Ari”: I’m detecting sarcasm? They laugh. Mrs.: You’re detecting a lot of sarcasm. This is more than enough for me. You, Ari, are more than enough for me. He: Come here. He lifts her up, against the fireplace. She wraps her legs around him and they kiss passionately. Scott bursts in on them – but they stay frozen in place, Mrs. playing with his hair. “Scott: Listen, Ari. I know you were kidding out there but Laurie doesn’t get frat humor. So she’s outside getting a cab. I’m gonna grab the bags and we’re gonna go to a hotel. But listen, I’ll be back in a couple of months and we’ll grab a steak and a couple of dances over at the Rhino, all right? Sorry, take care. He exits. Mrs.: Should we try to stop them? “Ari”: Nah, kids are at your mom’s. Let’s burn the house to the ground. (That’s a Talking Heads song reference.) Mrs., laughing: OK. He carries her over to the couch, he’s on top, and her legs go up with a whoop.
In “Return of the King”, by Brian Burns, the Jewish mothers are the enforcers of religious rules on Yom Kippur. The “Gold” family is walking to shule in the morning. “Sarah” is already complaining: I hate this! I’m starving! “Ari”: Now you know what Mommy goes through every day to make a hot body for Daddy. Mrs.: Ari! “Ari”: Daddy’s just kidding sweetie. Mrs.: We fast today to make important sacrifices to show God we’re sorry for our sins. “Sarah”: Daddy ate a breath mint! Mrs.: What! “Ari”: Now you’re going to have to atone for ratting daddy out baby. What - - you think God wants my breath to smell? They meet up with colleagues, the “Rubinsteins”, an imbalanced father-son producing team. The mother, Sheila played by Caroline Aaron, is furious that the father jetted off to work, let alone that the son, played by Adam Goldberg, keeps using the F word today about a crisis with a sundown deadline that impacts “Ari”s ex-client “Vince”. Mrs. interjects: Ari doesn’t have a phone, Nick, it’s Yom Kippur. “Mrs. Rubinstein”: Nick doesn’t either because I frisked him before we walked out. But “Ari” and “Nick” keep negotiating. Mrs.:Jesus Christ! It’s Yom Kippur! “Ari”: Look who just said Jesus Christ!. . .I can’t, my hands are tied. It’s the holiday. Mrs.: Thank you! But he reveals a secret phone to “Nick”. “Sarah” later tracks him down in back of the synagogue, next to the dumpster, negotiating with “Nick” and “Vince”s new agent: Mom told me to find you. “Ari”: You did. I’m in the bathroom. I’m not feeling well. I’m getting sick. “Sarah”: You want me to lie? “Ari”: That’s the beauty of Yom Kippur. As long as you apologize by sundown, it doesn’t matter what you do. The two men discuss how to get to the studio chief’s Orthodox shule two miles away. “Nick” complains that his mother took all his money away. “Ari” sympathizes about his wife: She took everything but my fillings. Mrs. confronts him back at their “half-Christian shule”, as the studio chief, played by Harris Yulin, sarcastically referred to their Reform synagogue: I don’t even know what to say. “Ari”: I’m sorry. I will fast the whole week to prove to you how sorry I am. Mrs.: Just get your ass in that temple and set a good example for your children. He hands over the phone. Mrs.: And the bat phone. He hands it from its hiding place in his sock. Thank you. But in the middle of the sermon, the phone goes off, and Mrs. has to fetch it from her purse, being roundly criticized all around. “Nick” is apoplectic that “Ari” didn’t answer the phone. Mrs. warns: Ari don’t! “Ari”: I can’t abandon a brother in peril! Not on the High Holiday! Mrs., icily: Abandon me again Ari, you’ll be going to have to do a whole lot more than pray. “Sarah” warns: I wouldn’t move Daddy. Back at home, they are waiting to break fast. Mrs. warns her uncle, played by Shelley Berman, hovering at the buffet table: Five minutes, Shelley. Then you can eat ‘til you drop. Excuse me. . . and she glowers at “Ari” at the house phone. “Ari”: I’m not even making a call. I’m just checking messages. Mrs.: In four minutes, Ari! But he distracts her by pointing at her uncle: Shelley! The Boys from Queens suddenly barge in: We tried to call but no one was answering. Mrs.: That would be my fault. I have his phones. “Ari” grabs their phones as she tries to object: What -- they’re not Jewish! At the “Rubinsteins” the phone rings and the mother yells: Don’t you dare answer that phone Nick! Back at the “Golds”, Mrs. announces: It’s 6:58! Everybody can eat! Hmm, in our family, we can’t eat until way after 7:18. Maybe it’s California time.
Entourage - Mrs. Ari Gold and daughter Sarah in Season 4 followed in only two weeks and were a prominent feature of “Ari”s life, as indicated by Reeves being upgraded to a listing in the opening credits. (I’ll transcribe their continuing revelatory family relationship in the fourth season ("We agreed to suffer through monogamy together." Says Ari to his wife.) when I get a chance. USA Weekend, 9/28/2007, declared Ari Gold and Mrs. Ari #3 in the Top 5 Best Relationships on TV, voted by a panel of three newspaper columnist relationship experts – just ahead of Homer & Marge Simpson. (updated 10/7/2007)
Rhonda Pearlman on The Wire (on HBO, 4th season out on DVD) has gotten more race conscious in the 4th season now that she's sleeping with (and possibly living with, not clear yet) a black man, "Major Cedric Daniels". In Chapter 39 - "Soft Eyes", teleplay by David Mills, she's ambitious and far more cynical about her career future as a white prosecutor in black majority Baltimore than in earlier seasons - the frankest awareness of a Jewish woman as a white woman I've ever seen on TV. She confronts wily "Detective Lester Freaman" who has sub rosa craftily issued politically explosive subpoenas and challenges "Rhonda" with a Why do you care? She gets in his face: If [my boss] thinks I fucked him and he wins, I will be in central booking covering bail reviews. If he loses to [his opponent] a new front office comes in and maybe they bounce the white girl back to a trial team and give the narcotics division to one of their own. It's Baltimore Lester! [The white candidate later is even more frank about the problem of political ambition in an upcoming debate against the black mayor: I can beat his ass, but the next morning I still wake up white in a city that ain't.] She refuses to issue two more subpoenas on other VIPs and "Lester" reacts The hell you are! She describes in detail the political connections of the two targets: We drop subpoenas on these guys three weeks before the primaries and all hell breaks loose. "Lester" challenges her: You can give me resumes and job titles. I'm just following the money. "Rhonda": And we will follow it. After the polls close. We can drop a second batch of subpoenas. There is no reason to do this now-- "Lester" uncharacteristically shows his hand: But right now with the primary coming they have to worry about how they look. Right now they have to worry about scandal. She realizes she's been played: You told me you wanted to do this a year ago but fresh cases got in the way. . .Very clever, Lester. You have it all figured out. "Lester" goes back into his usual modesty subterfuge: I'm just the po-lice. She relates the story to his ex-boss "Cedric" in bed while they're working in PJs. The thing I resent the most - he's not just playing the system, he's playing me! Like I'm part of the problem. "Cedric" is amused: And now you feel about guilty about it? He sarcastically imitates the detective: Did he do that thing where he stares at you over the top of his reading glasses? You know, that look that says I'm the father you never had and I never want to be disappointed in you ever again. They laugh but she protests: It's not funny Cedric! Those subpoenas went out today. The front office is going to go bat shit! He laughs again: Shit, I'm just glad to see Lester doing it to someone other than me. She hits him with her pillow, he holds her and kisses her and they embrace sexily.
In "Alliances", teleplay by Edward Burns, story by David Simon and Burns, "Rhonda" is trying to figure out how to balance her ambitions and feeling like she's accomplishing anything, as she muses to "Cedric" in his office after they witness desultory drug busts: If [her boss] wins and forgives me my trespasses maybe I'll go in and beg for something new. I don't know, it feels like enough is enough.
It's post-election in "Unto Others", teleplay by story editor William F. Zorzi, story by Burns and Zorzi, and "Rhonda" is girded for the worst at her first meeting with her new boss. She offers: How can I help with your transition? but he targets right in on the timing of the controversial subpoenas and she sinks in her chair. Yeah, I think you're wasted in narcotics--and asks her take over the Violent Crimes Unit, in charge of all homicide investigations. She admits to being taken aback that she didn't get demoted, as she mumbled "Lester", and the new boss who is definitely not like the old boss explains: You didn't intend to go after a couple of [the mayor's] money men just before the primary? . . .I won and I admire your courage if not your loyalty.
In "Corner Boys", teleplay by novelist Richard Price, story by Price and Burns, she's warmly encouraging to her lover "Cedric" as he's reluctant to meet with the mayor-elect about the police that goes around protocol and advises: Baby, I'd fire away, with both barrels. And she kisses him. Their equal, loving and supportive relationship is very atypical for this brutally realistic series -- can it last as they both get promoted? In "Know Your Place", teleplay by new writer Kia Corthron, story by Corthron and Burns, while they're making dinner she asks about his promotion to colonel ceremony: Will you be embarrassed if I'm there? Can I come? He affirms going public with their relationship: I'll be proud if you're there. They kiss and make a toast to the Mayor-elect, and she adds And us. She grins and applauds proudly in the second row. In "A New Day", teleplay by Burns, story by Burns and David Simon, "Sgt. Landsman" picks up on their relationship as they announce the Mayor's "mandate for change" in the Police Department, shrewdly commenting to himself They make a nice couple.
In the despairing season finale “Final Grades” by David Simon and Ed Burns, her ex-boyfriend, the reformed drunken cop “McNulty”, is back, congratulating her amidst "Cedric"s former school gym now full of dozens of dead bodies: Your first red ball. . .You’ll be fine Ronnie. Just don’t let any one see you sweat. But even with her current boyfriend authorizing more resources for the investigation she still has a tough case to make as she’s all exasperated business, yet keeping the overwhelming case organized: Where’s the PC [probable cause] on [the innocuous looking pair of assassins]? Weak. Very weak. And the bodies keep coming in: Just when you think you’re done. . . and they sit down together for a progress report to the new Mayor. We’ll have to wait another year to find out if she can get the kingpin and his young henchmen into jail. (updated 12/4/2006)
Yael Hoffman on Weeds (on Showtime most nights of the week and On Demand). In the first episode of the second season, which jump started the TV season in August, "Corn Snake" by creator Jenji Kohan, we were introduced to more "Israeli snap" through the sexiest, skimpiest dressed Director of Admissions of any rabbinical school where the lazy, conniving brother-in-law "Andy Botwin" (played by hunky Justin Kirk) wants to enter to avoid military service. At least she's played by a real Israeli actress with a genuine accent, Meital Dohan, so she can fluently say in Hebrew I think you're full of shit and pointedly tell him as she shows him the door and announces she's done with him: I'm wearing a bra so stop looking for my nipples. There is genuine chemistry between them as he uncharacteristically hesitates You make me very nervous. so I look forward to the recurring potential of what could be the youngest attractive young Jewish couple on TV. In the 2nd episode, "Cooking With Jesus" by Kohan, she's impressed by the entrance essay he rolled up while stoned -- Is this your version of the Torah? -- and provisionally accepts him into the school.
In the 3rd episode, "Last Tango in Agnestic" by Robert Benabib, we learn more about "Yael", which of course plays upon stereotypes of Israeli women very similar to "Ziva David" on NCIS (that are a bit less funny now with the revelations coming out about officers harassing women). Now a rabbinical student half-heartedly learning Hebrew, "Andy" flirts with her asking if she's with someone: Not since my lover was killed. . .He was my commanding officer in the Israeli army. A fucking Hamas suicide bomber piece of shit blew him up in a pizza parlor. . .anyway, since hunting down Zev's murderers I've sort of been concentrating on my studies. He asks about her name, an amusing question from someone ostensibly studying the Bible. It's from the Book of Judges. Yael invites the leader of the enemy army into her tent, gives him milk to drink and when he falls asleep she hammers a tent stake through his skull. . I guess my parents expected big things from me. He asks her out for something other than milk as thanks for the school admission. I have a policy never to date students. "Andy": Just commanding officers? Yael: I was just following orders. . . Okay, fine.
"A.K.A. The Plant" by Matthew Salsberg continued satirizing Israeli women and men vs. metrosexuals. "Andy" takes "Yael" out as a thank you and she's knocking 'em back. He flatters her: You have amazing shoulders. "Yael": No they're tarnished. [I think that was her word.] Bullet wound from the Army. "Andy": You saw battle? "Yael": Israeli men are very macho. Everything is all fine when you bring another woman into bed. But you bring another man? And they go crazy. "Andy": So he shot you? "Yael": To be honest, if he hadn't, I would have thought he was a faggot. And the sex was great that night, the pain and the pleasure - hmm, very exciting, hmm. L'chaim! as she cheerfully downs another glass. They laugh and he comes in for a kiss. What are you doing? "Andy": Oh, I thought we were hitting it off. "Yael": Yeah we are. He tries again to kiss her. "Andy" is perplexed: I'm sorry, it's too soon since your lover died. "Yael": No, I've been with many men. Helps to get over things. "Andy": Good. He again comes in for a kiss and she grabs his hand to stop him. Am I getting mixed messages here? Or? "Yael": Look, you're adorable, but I'm not attracted to you. Sorry. "Andy": Are you a chubby chaser or something? "Yael": No, just I like a man, someone big and strong. Someone who can grow a beard. You're pretty and I could flip you like a pancake. You'll ask permission instead of just slamming me up against the wall and fucking me until I come like a volcano. But we can still be friends, right? "Andy" is not a happy camper!
"Crush Girl Love Panic" by Devon K. Shepherd continued to satirize the image of Israeli women as vigorously omnisexual. "Andy" is Israeli dancing at his school when "Yael" dances over when he takes a break out in the hall. She lets down her hair and purrs: Are you still angry with me? "Andy": No, I'm still fine with being friends. "Yael" puts her leg over his chair, pulls out a flask from her garter and takes a swig. "Andy" leans over: I have to fuck you! "Yael" laughs: Will you stop! You don't have the qualities I look for in a man. He: Now what exactly are the qualities? I can get them. I know a guy who knows a guy. "Yael" takes another swig: I like big men. You have none of the physical qualities I look for in a male lover. She strokes his cheek. But you do have soft skin and sad eyes and those are the things I find very attractive when I sleep with women. Next we see them he's almost naked, she's pushing him onto a bed and is quickly stripping. She takes out a VERY large, black leather dildo and straps it on with high boots. "Andy" laughs nervously: Think you can take it? "Yael", theatrically: It's not for me. He eyes it: It's big. "Yael": I know. "Andy": That's really big. "Yael": It'll fit. She greases it up. Stop being a pussy. "Andy": I thought that was the whole point. He leans over to kiss her. She pushes him face down on the bed. Don't forget to breathe! And all this is accompanied by merry klezmer music. I didn’t mark the URL (let me know if you find the citation), but an online men’s magazine cited this in his Top 10 Sexiest Scenes on TV in 2006.
In "Must Find Toes" by Barry Safchik and Michael Platt, "Yael" slinks into "Andy"s room after he's recovering from a dog biting off two of his toes: How's my little man? . . . What can I do to make you feel better?. . .That wasn't bad for a skinny gimp. He: I found your gimel spot, didn't I? She laughs and he tries to get her to stay for another round of him "pitching instead of catching": I have a life you know. I can't spend all day in bed like some people. I have a lot of work at school. When do you think you'll be back? Everyone misses you. He happily explains that he no longer needs rabbinical school to avoid military service. She's furious and slaps him. You can't commit to anything can you? . . . I trusted you. I put my job on the line. I thought you had rouach. . . You are a scrawny selfish little pig. I did everything for you. The dog should have bit your dick off. He colorfully refutes her points but she slaps him again and I'm not sure if she used the Hebrew term instead. An episode or so later, he's taking his nephews supermarket shopping, sees a display of kosher food and sighs regretfully: Ah Yael! (updated 1/18/2007)
Jenny Schecter in the 4th Season of The L Word (on Showtime, repeated frequently and On Demand, and will be repeated on Logo Channel. Out on DVD.) All the criticism of this character may finally have reached creator Ilene Chaiken, as she said in an interview in the 1/12/2007 Entertainment Weekly: “We’re letting her be as evil as everyone thinks she is.” In the season premiere “Legend in the Making” “Jenny” actually has some common sense. (I haven’t checked the deleted scenes yet on the Showtime web site to see if there’s more insight into the character.) She finally gets realistic about her lover “Moira/Max” who complains: I just don’t know why we can’t work it out. . . I thought you supported my transition. “Jenny” sensibly replies: I do support your transition. We just don’t go together any more. . .Because you identify as a straight man. So there is the mismatch because you want me to be the straight girl to your straight guy and I identify as lesbian who likes to fuck girls. And you are not a girl. And to "Max"s chagrin, "Jenny" rolls around with another lovely woman. It was also realistic that the first magazine review she reads of her just published memoir criticizes it for being “self-indulgent”.
In ”Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Alexandra Kondracke, “Jenny” gave us some more context on her family that has been so confusing up to now, but she also got some more comeuppance. Heather Matarazzo is playing “Stacey Merkin,” a reporter whose piece she had admired in the New Yorker, even though I told my publicist I don’t want to do any more gay press. “Stacey” sympathizes: That’s understandable. You don’t want to be ghettoized. “Jenny” corrects: Not so much as a lesbian writer, as a memoirist, just want to be a writer. “Stacey”: I’m not happy unless I’m qualified by at least five things. . .pussy-tasting, cunt-enthusiast, half-BuJew . . . it is half-Jewish but practicing Buddhist. “Jenny” laughs and identifies herself as Jewish. “Stacey”: Nice, rock on! Jewish sisterhood! Way to go. “Jenny” grins: Yeah, Jewish lesbians. “Stacey”: But the reason I choose to write for Curve magazine is that they let me pick the books that I review. And I only review the books that hold a real significance to me. . . My partner is a survivor. “Jenny” continues the interview: I didn’t want the boys to come across as one-dimensional monsters. And what I was trying to show was that in our culture, sometimes boys are condoned for their actions. And that it is okay to rape these girls, girls are for raping. “Stacey”: It seems to me that the real monsters in your book are your parents. “Jenny”: No. I didn’t want my parents to come across as evil. I love my parents so much. When it happened, they were just devastated. You know, I think as adults they had the power to help me overcome it, and they chose not to. Instead it festered into a pathology, and I think the sum of it may be pretty dysfunctional, you know, probably making me into the dysfunctional liar that I was for most of my young adult life. “Stacey”: This is a very brave thing to admit about yourself. “Jenny”: I don’t know, I think that is why I write, I just want to get all this stuff out. Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever opened like this to someone before. You’ve made me feel very safe. Thank you for that. “Jenny” has gone online to enthusiastically check out the magazine for the review and assures “Max” why she didn’t need to have it pre-screened for protection. We had an understanding. I think that’s the kind of thing that happens when two gay women speak to each other. Yeh – here it is! She reads it out loud: ”Jennifer Schecter - Sum of Her Parts: Jennifer Schecter’s autobiographical examination of her violated childhood is sexually explicit, self-indulgent and self-pitying. Schecter is an undisciplined writer who applies a sloppy solipsistic logic to an undisciplined life. Her central thesis that childhood sexual abuse is both a cause and an excuse for deceitful adult behavior is both insulting and dangerous to those myriad women who have suffered at the hands of predatory men.” Okay, c’est la vie. She closes the computer and walks away from the table. Fuck you Stacey Merkin! Fuck you! Her roommate “Shane” comes to see what all the screaming is about. What happened is that Stacey Merkin revealed herself to be a true cunt. She used her gayness to get me to open up. And the thing is Shane I didn’t even want to do the fucking interview. All while being interrupted by “Shane” not to curse in front of her young step-brother, but she keeps instructing to him Say Stacey Merkin is a fucking cunt over and over, until “Shane” gets him out of the room. “Jenny” tries to get into “Stacey”s office but the receptionist’s points out she’s not there. Let me ask you something, Jolene, did you read that little piece of shit review that she wrote about me in your little magazine called Curve? Because actually I got a rave review in Publishers Weekly magazine, can you just look my review please, at pw.com, just put in Jennifer Schecter. “Jolene”: Well good for you Jennifer, then you shouldn’t give a shit what she wrote in this piece of shit magazine. “Jenny” shouting: But I do care, because I think she should be fired. I think she used duplicitous methods to get me to open up. . . She used her sexual orientation and her gayness to get me to open up. And do you know what Merkin means, Jolene? “Vagina wig”, that’s what her name means. Shame on you, for not correcting her sloppy syntax and grammar. The Showtime web site included an interview comment with Chaiken that actress Mia Kirschner ad libbed that definition.
”Lassoed” by Chaiken opens up in stylized black and white, with “Jenny” channeling Marlon Brando as she bellows Stacey! and then she describes what she did to “Alice”: So I found an ‘S. Merkin’ in Van Nuys, which is so of course where that ‘vagina wig’ is going to live. . .So I go to the house and I’m standing out front: ‘Yo, Stacey, say it to my fuckin’ face, you fuckin’ vagina!’ And she makes fun of an elderly Korean neighbor who complained. Even “Alice” who had previous stalking experience is startled: You were yelling outside her balcony at 4 in the morning? “Jenny”: I was! Because did you read the review? . . It was fundamentally dishonest! “Alice” sympathizes: Yeah lesbians love to eat their own. “Jenny”: The thing is the vagina’s girlfriend was molested and now she’s like this perfect saint, which is awesome and I was abused and I’m like this fucked-up nitwit, but that’s MY experience! And that’s mine and I don’t know why she’s slamming me for my own experience. “Alice” advises: Let it go. It’s this tiny magazine, I mean who reads it? And didn’t Elle say something great about ‘refreshingly literate’? That’s huge. Concentrate on that. However, later in the ladies room at a club party, another woman comments about a flyer for “Jenny”s reading the previous week and why she hasn’t read the book: I read the review in Curve magazine. It said some of the parts made her ashamed to be a lesbian. “Jenny” complains to her friends: She’s the one who ought to be ashamed to call herself a lesbian. . . I mean ‘Saint Lindsay’ – why is she in the pantheon of honesty? A visiting academic, “Phyllis”, played by Cybill Shepherd gives advice from the cutthroat world of the ivory tower: The fact that she compared the two of you is proof enough of her stupidity. “Jenny”: Thank you! I mean the whole thing was, I wasn’t writing about all survivors’ stories, I was just writing about my story and my experience. I think Chaiken is answering critics of “Jenny”s character. “Phyllis”: It’s a shame you can’t do what I did when I got my first bad review. . .The reviewer . . . absolutely ridiculed my premise, so with a wicked rebuttal I just dismantled him point by point. He lost his job because of it. Too bad you can’t prove your critic was wrong about her girlfriend’s unimpeachable integrity.
“Jenny” makes up an excuse to ask “Max” to track down “Lindsay”s psychiatric records on the internet and over the next couple of episodes lies and entraps her to reveal more about “Stacey”. In “Lez Girls” by Chaiken she goads her to speak ill of her partner: I just got this image of her that she becomes this fucking cunt. That she just churns out page after page of utter shit that she thinks is worth all the ego and maniacal behavior. “Jenny” flirts with her until she reveals where “Stacey” lives and that she’s coming to be with her the next day. Meanwhile, the friends discover that “Jenny” has had a piece published and “Alice” is furious, as she describes it: Jenny has new fiction – a serialized novella in The New Yorker called “Lez Girls”. She describes herself as ‘innocent but open-hearted photographer from the Midwest Jessie Star who moves to Los Angeles to be with her boyfriend and is seduced . . . She recites off the various names that have barely been changed and protests that “Jenny” is being really mean. She later confronts “Jenny”: We’re in it! “Jenny” is her usual self-centered self: Thank you Alice so much for being so gracious about my accomplishment of being published in The New Yorker, but Alice if you actually read beyond the cover. . . “Alice” seething: Oh I read it! “Jenny”: It’s The New Yorker’s FICTION issue! You’d see that it is actually a work of fiction. “Alice”: That’s bull shit!. “Max” defends her. “Jenny”: I draw from my own life and I use my friends’ and my own experiences as my inspiration but at the end of the day it’s fiction. Hey Alice there’s this crazy weird thing that happens when you write. As a writer. . “Alice” the journalist/radio broadcaster is sarcastic: Wait is this a lesson? In writing? From Jenny Schecter? Let me get a pen! “Jenny”: Get a pad too! This thing that happens when you draw from your life and then in turn you take these experience and then you use something called imagination, Alice. “Alice”: Oh, imagination! God, so that’s the thing you were lacking when you could barely change our names! “Jenny” goes on a odd jag of pretending to call Monet and claiming what she did is like him painting water lilies. “Alice” also pretends to call him: Don’t you even fucking compare yourself to him! They continue arguing at a club, but “Jenny” won’t really let “Alice” get a word in: I just want to make one more point! So you’re saying that I don’t have one creative bone in my body and that’s bull shit! But then she spots her nemesis and partner and begs “Alice” to kiss her to hide from them both, as “Stacey” also wants to avoid her and the partner is just plain dumbfounded. Nice to hear Jill Sobule’s “Tender Love” used over the credits!
In “Luck Be A Lady”, written and directed by Angela Robinson, ”Jenny” sets up a very complicated revenge on “Stacey” by manipulating her away from a romantic make-up weekend with her vet lover “Lindsay” through a job ruse, and expanded on with more lies in a deleted scene on the Showtime web site. “Jenny” seductively goes with her to the hotel instead and “Lindsay” is sorely tempted: The reason why I feel guilty is that I really want to kiss you. . . A lot. “Jenny”: So kiss me. and she initiates kissing and serious clothes removal, before “Lindsay” stops out of terrible guilt and says she’ll break up with “Stacey” first. “Jenny”: I am so crazy about you, but I have to talk to you about something. OK, I’ve been lying to you and I’ve done something that is very dishonest, and I am very, very, very sorry, and I hope that if you can let me explain all the crazy reasons why I’ve done this that it won’t be too late for us. “Lindsay”: I’ve believe there’s no such thing as too late, I truly believe that. Please tell me, just talk to me. Whatever you’ve done. “Jenny”: I’m so sorry. I can. . . But then there’s a knock on the door – it’s “Stacey” full of apologies and is she shocked as “Lindsay” makes introductions, but “Stacey” corrects her: This is Jennifer fucking Schechter. The lunatic whose book I reviewed. “Jenny”: Hello Merkin. That’s what I was about to explain. . . I thought that if I could prove that if you weren’t a saint. And I thought if I could make you sleep with me that it would prove all those really horrible, mean things that Stacey said about me and my experiences and the way I turned out wouldn’t be true. I thought that if I could turn you into a liar and a cheat like me. But no, the thing is, you’re not. And you’re right about that, Stacey. You’re a saint. I’m so sorry. I know it’s crazy. And the pair walk out and slam the door on the tearful “Jenny”.
In “Lesson Number 1” by Ariel Schrag, “Jenny” has written more chapters in her thinly disguised roman a clef Lez Girls such that “Max” advises that she’s pretty rough on their friends, but continues to insist it’s fiction. When her movie studio chief pushes ex-lez “Tina” to get the rights to the book (Everyone knows you’re ‘Nina’ in the story he points out), she negotiates with “Jenny” that such a movie adaptation would be important to help some girl in the Midwest come out. “Jenny” insists It’s not a book about lesbians. It’s about relationships. and pretentiously compares her goal to be an adaptation like The Unbearable Lightness of Being, but with a woman director. Foolishly, “Tina” advises her to get a high-powered agent, who advises “Jenny” of the bidding war for the rights, including starlets like Katie Holmes wanting a part, though “Jenny” says she wants “Tina” to be at least included in the bidders.
”Lexington and Concord” by Chaiken opens with “Jenny” having an atypical guilty dream. She brings a beautiful bouquet of flowers to the grave, whose gravestone is marked with a Jewish star, of the sick dog she falsely adopted to manipulate the vet. The dog’s paw reaches up out of the grave Stephen King-style and grabs her throat. She awakes from the nightmare saying the dog’s name: Am I going to rot in hell? The guilt doesn’t soften her up later in the episode as she’s really cold to “Tina” amidst tough negotiations for rights to her book, that “Tina” says: It’s the hottest property in town. Everybody wants it. . .And all I want to do is wring her neck. Her ex “Bette” insists she shouldn’t take her counterpart in the novel seriously: She’s a fiction writer.. But “Bette” is equally annoyed at “Jenny” for not giving “Tina” preference in the negotiations with her obnoxious agents, who, of course, include a leering guy. “Jenny” is sarcastic about giving preference to friends, claiming “Tina” wouldn’t do that at her job at the university and is dismissive of what “Tina” can do for a movie adaptation: At the end of the day the project’s going to be out of her hands. The following episode “Lacy Lilting Lyrics” by Cherien Dabis is a heavy-handed satire of various sexist ways male Hollywood directors claim they would adapt her book, played by real directors John Stockwell, Garry Marshall (riffing off Pretty Woman) and Lawrence Bender (and a fourth, horror film director in a deleted scene), that increasingly infuriate her, with “Tina” making excuses: She’s really sensitive about the material. In “Little Boy Blue” by Elizabeth Ziff she settles on –surprise!—a woman director, “Kate Arden” (played by Annabella Sciorra) partly because she’s hitting on “Tina”, as well as flattering “Jenny”: I was so turned on by your story. It was me. What was with “Jenny” exclaiming at the race track? In these kinds of public places I always have the compulsion to take off all my clothes. Continuing in “Literary License to Kill” by Chaiken the friends read the book and get more and more angry at her. “Bette”s even talking to herself while reading: Fuck you, Jenny! It's complete, utter, total bullshit... I wouldn't say that! Never! That's not even grammatically correct, you fucking idiot... You're dead meat. You're just dead fucking meat, Jenny Schecter!
In the season finale, “Long Time Coming” written and directed by Chaiken, “Tina” is planning revenge on “Jenny”, scheming to fire her from the film adaptation of her book and buy her out of her contract by lying to her that the studio exec’s meeting with the new director has been cancelled. But “Jenny” crashes anyway: Hello, I am so sorry I’m late but I had to pick up little dog from the groomer’s because I wanted him to be all lovely and pretty for his very first studio meeting. Um there was no parking pass for me at the guard gate for some reason. She gives the studio exec a big hug and air kiss before fooling with the fancy little dog and is sarcastic that she didn’t know he would be at the meeting. “Tina” makes excuses but “Jenny” is acid: You thought that I was completely clueless? Someone to fuck with? Someone who didn’t realize what a lying, duplicitous scheming excuse you are for a friend? Be careful, if you’re doing business with her, she eats her own. The director contradicts: Actually, Jenny, Tina’s been a really good friend to you. As a matter of fact, she’s protected you. . “Jenny” smilingly interrupts while kissing her dog: She just wants to fuck you. She does. She just wants to get in your pants. While the dog gets lose on the conference table amidst the startled execs, “Tina” gets angry: Shut the fuck up Jenny, OK? You’re a cunt. Bette almost lost her job because of you. Did you know that? That affects my child. That’s food out of Angelica’s mouth. That is a roof over her head. That to me is unforgivable.. “Jenny”: Oh God, Tina. Can you just cut all your bullshit? Just because you’ve had a baby doesn’t make you more exalted than the rest of us. I’m so fucking tired of all these tedious lesbians having babies and their self-aggrandizing bullshit Dog pees on table and she cuddles him. He’s not potty trained, is he? “Jenny” takes the dog for a walk poolside to meet with the director. I want to apologize for my behavior the other day. I was a little upset. And I think that the reason why I let that happen is because Tina made me feel threatened. The director puts her off, that it’s not a good time. “Jenny” doesn’t quite stop: OK, I just wanted to tell you that I think if you and I could try to work together you and I could do something meaningful and powerful. But here comes “Merkin”: I hear the book is riveting, Jenny. I can’t wait to read it. Any more lives destroyed in this one? Have you crushed any souls lately? Or was Lindsay enough? I’m writing a story on Kate. “Jenny” confusedly asks: Where’s Lindsay? and “Merkin” explains: I was just going to talk you about that. Lindsay was my girlfriend. She was a veterinarian. A sweet, selfless person. Then Jenny came in and destroyed her. “Jenny” points: She wrote a terrible review of my book. “Merkin”: Are you going to kill that dog too? “Jenny”: I didn’t kill a dog. The dog was old, the dog was sick. “Merkin”: Lindsay was so incredibly upset when she found out the dog she put down was actually not even Jenny’s dog at all. The director: You’re even more twisted than Tina said you were. You’re even more twisted than the character in the book. “Jenny”: I made a mistake. It was a very bad mistake. Director: Do you prey on people whose lives are already falling apart, or do you take a more aggressive role in creating their grief and destruction? “Merkin”: That’s such a good question. In Jenny’s world, does art imitate life or does life imitate art? When I think of that poor girl that’s the basis for the character. . They discuss particular characters – Director: I heard she was really nice girl until she met you and then her life just fell apart. “Jenny”: That’s not true. You shouldn’t listen to anything Merkin says. The Director gloats that it wasn’t “Stacey” who told her, but goes through all the other roman a clef names from the book. I can’t wait to tell you what I’m going to do with the character of Jessie in my adaptation of Lez Girls. While “Tina” and the director are walking hand in hand down the ocean front in a very atypically romantic episode, “Jenny” is all dressed up for the friends’ beach party and dragging a rubber dinghy into the water, inviting her little dog Sounder: It’s just you and the pariah. We last see her intentionally stranded in the ocean as the sun rises, while Sounder is yipping a warning back on the shore. “Shane”, who is in an uncharacteristic family mode, asks: Hey where’s your mother? Where’s Jenny?. The series has been renewed for another season so we’ll find out what happens to her. (updated 3/26/2007)
2005/6 Season
I'm not dealing with "Paris Geller"s tyrannical reign in the apartment and the Yale Daily News in Gilmore Girls as her Jewish identity disappeared a couple of seasons ago, as is common with Jewish characters on long-running shows looking for wider syndication.
In the midst of an explosion of one holiday celebrations on the WB's Related's "Have Yourself a Sorelli Little Christmas" episode, directed by Jerry Levine, the office of the demanding, obnoxious party-planning boss "Trish" (Anne Ramsay) was only decorated with a Hanukkah menorah. She never did get a last name to confirm if she was Jewish. (updated 3/29/2006)
Uh, oh is that new I.T. chick replacing the mourned "Edgar" on 24 Jewish? "Shari Rothenberg" (played by Kate Mara) provided a crucial clue to finding the deadly gas by remembering her chem major days at UCLA in "Day 5: 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM" - but she was clearly a problem in raising unwarranted sexual harassment charges. (3/29/2006)
Sea of Souls on BBC America, which is BBC Scotland's take on The X Files, featured a succubus, as had in the past Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel and without doubt Supernatural will do in the future. But unlike the American shows this sexy redhead most beautiful demon I've ever seen was specifically identified as a descendant of Lilith, complete with a calling card of an image from "Hebrew mythology" such that the "Clyde University Department of Parapsychology" had to call in a brunette expert in the subject, "Valerie Acher" to explain the legend that Lilith was Adam's first wife, etc. She passed on an amulet with an Isaiah quote that her "Aunt Miriam" had worn as protection. She then turned to a friend who was expert in Canaanite writing to translate "sisters of the night". The expert had explained that Lilith didn't kill her lovers if they impregnated her and while the cute scientist bragged that he had conquered the demon, she got the last laugh when the closing shot showed her quite with child. (5/28/2006)
In "The Running Man" episode of the 2nd season (out on DVD) of Numb3rs by Ken Sanzel we got a bit more information on The Late Mrs. Eppes [She wasn't given a name until the "Dreamland" episode October 2009 of the 6th season-- Margaret.] She was an intern with a tenant rights lawyer when she met her future husband, who was working for a real estate developer. [In the 3rd season’s “Primary” by Julie Hebert, Dad compared his courtship with his sons dating women they work with: You mother and I met while working together. People always fall for each other at work.] Then they took turns financially supporting each other through graduate school. But the widower is shocked to discover that she had secretly maintained her passion for playing music, even as she chose the law and family over music as a career. Also in Season 2, her older son, Rob Morrow's FBI agent, has been seriously flirting with government attorney "Robin Brooks" played by the same actress Michelle Nolden who played his Jewish wife in Street Time but I haven't been watching regularly any more to determine if she's also playing a Jewish woman here. I'll have to check on the reruns or DVDs someday, if I really cared. (But he finally admits early in the 3rd season that she dumped him, as he begins an affair with an agent of color.) (updated 10/31/2009)
Nip/Tuck started a fascinating arc in its third season, introducing "Ariel Alderman" (played by American Dreams sweetheart Brittany Snow) in the "Madison Berg" episode by producer Jennifer Salt, that linked continuing stories about these damaged characters with this series' typically outrageous way of dealing with sensitive social issues, here the point where right and left radicals can almost sound alike in challenging stereotypes:
The episode opens with the doctors' standard line to prospective patients: Tell me what you don't like about yourself? to the daughter. But the mother introduces herself: When I turned 16, my parents just announced - if you want to get a husband, you're going to have to get your nose done. "Dr. Christian Troy" turns to the daughter: Do you want a rhinoplasty? "Madison" is hesitant: Well, um, getting married and having kids is not high on my list of priorities. I mean, it was for my mom, because things were different then. Mom protests: Not all that different. It's not like it was the dark ages for God's sake. "Dr. Quentin Costa": Are you happy with your nose, Ms. Berg? (She was played by Hallee Hirsh, formerly the daughter on E.R. but who frequently gets cast as a Jewish girl maybe due to her curly locks, and she looked quite attractive to me; I couldn't even figure out what the nose discussion was about.): All I know is it's always been a given that I'd be sitting here a few days before my 16th birthday. "Dr. Troy": It's about how you feel when you look in the mirror. It's true that we've done a lot of rhinoplasties on Jewish girls and the trend is definitely towards a more refined profile. "Dr. Costa": We can show you some of our work, perhaps. I assume you want to take advantage of our Sweet 16 package? Mom is enthusiastic: Absolutely. When I read your ad in the temple newsletter it said that you offer a 20% discount on a recovery room at the De La Mer Spa? "Madison" is looking through the portfolio and squeals: Oh my God! It's Lisa Burrows! (sp?) She's a senior at my school! "Dr. Costa": Have you seen her 'before' photo? "Madison" is quite startled: Lisa Burrows is Jewish? I'm in. And I want her nose.
"Ariel" looks like quite the sexy goth. By their school lockers, she introduces herself to "Matt" (who still looks like a skinhead due to a traumatic rebellion against his fathers). As she flirts with him, she taps him on the arm: Uh-oh. JAP alert. 3 o'clock. ("Madison" walks by with a bandage on her nose.) "Matt": Yeah, she looks like she just got released from the slaughter house my dad runs. He's a plastic surgeon. He does a lot of Sweet 16 nose jobs. "Ariel": Jews with gentile noses and gentile names. Completely pathetic. The bandage on her face isn't covering her nose job, it's broadcasting her self hate. And she's not the only one. I mean, everywhere I look it's just a sea of pathetic look-alikes and wannabees. At this point, the viewer is thinking maybe she's a far left radical. "Matt" is admiring: You're not like anyone else I know who hardly ever notices. "Ariel": You could really help me out with something. I'm doing a paper on homogenizing influences in the melting pot culture and it would be cool to talk to a plastic surgeon. Maybe you could introduce me to your dad? "Matt": Umm, if it'll get you to have coffee with me, I will.
"Matt" negotiates with his dads (tangled soap story why plural) to meet with her, in exchange for standing up as best man at his biological dad's wedding, who then insists (the sort-of adoptive dad) "Dr. Sean McNamara" join him for the interview, which has an increasingly propulsive percussive soundtrack. Though "Ariel", now dressed in elegant black, guesses wrong on which dad is which: Wow, you know, I'm usually really good at reading facial features. to "Sean" You have the dark facial features more like the Irish in Matt. to "Christian", who is a product of rape and abandonment, You look like you have some Caribbean blood in you, the hair, the wider nose. Is your father from Cuba? "Christian" (dryly) I never had a conversation with my father about his roots. . .How can we help you? "Ariel" announces: I want you to dye my skin black. Basically, I want to look African-American. "Christian": We don't dye people's skin. "Ariel": No, but I could bleach my skin, wouldn't you? "Sean": I thought you were here to do research for a term paper. "Ariel" This is research. I'm asking you to address the fact that it is acceptable to make a black person white but not to make a white person black. Michael Jackson is whiter than I am. "Christian": We don't treat Michael Jackson. "Ariel": OK, closer to home. Let's talk about the Jewish girls who book their Sweet 16 nose jobs with you. What per centage of your income comes directly from their desire to look like Heidi Klum or Kirsten Dunst, distinctly Anglo-Saxon gentile girls? "Christian": What's your point? "Ariel": My point is that you are wiping out the physical characteristics that make up the ethnicities in our culture. Underlying everything you do is the worship of an archetype. It's all about making every one look white and Aryan. That's the topic of my term paper. "Sean": That's not correct. We offer people a choice. We don't have a preference for a particular ethnicity. "Christian": You don't need to defend what we do. "Ariel": Yes, I think you do. Little by little, you and all the other plastic surgeons are creating a nation of non-white whites. Every time you lipo a big black ass or shape the bump off a Jewish nose or widen a slanty Asian eye, you make that person more viable in a white world. Then that person marries a white person and they give birth to a mixed race child. In the long run, you're just wiping out the races. Is that your master plan or just an unfortunate by-product of what you do for a living? They kick her out of the office and she explains to "Matt":They're very defensive about their work. I asked intelligent, well-researched questions but they didn't want to deal with it. They just want their own point of view parroted back at them. The doctors explode at "Matt" - "Sean": She's a racist!
Next we see "Matt" and "Ariel" necking in his bed. He questions her earring. She claims it's Thor's hammer and various pagan symbols. He insists it's a swastika. It's got some pretty evil connotations, Ariel. She claims: It's just four L's, for light, love, life and luck. My dad gave it to me. He's very, very smart. "Matt": You're not into some kind of neo-Nazi racist kind of trip are you? "Ariel": No, but I believe people shouldn't disguise themselves and hide their identities. I don't hide who I am. And I would like to know if someone is really Asian, or Jewish or what their real gender is. And oh my God, those sex operations that plastic surgeons do -- have your fathers done any of those? "Matt": Yeah, I think they did. (Ouch, on his ex-lover, sure.) "Ariel": That to me is truly immoral. Playing with something that is as sacred as someone's sex. Playing God and spreading disease and fear. I'm not a Nazi, Matt, but I am a Purist. "Matt": You have fears. I think you're beautiful. They go back to making out. "Ariel": I'm going to do something. Do you trust me? Now what red-blooded American boy wouldn't think she's about to suggest something sexy, as the soundtrack blares "more and more people. . " Instead, she pierces his ear for the swastika earring.
They are now in the "Aldermans" kitchen. Mom is showing off her collection of Aunt Jemima figurines and bragging how she just got one off e-Bay. "Matt":I don't understand the appeal of this stuff. It seems kind of demeaning, you know, big fat black lady in an apron. "Ariel": To Mom, it's just a piece of Americana. "Mrs. Alderman": Yeah, it's just from another time. It's before they wanted to look like us. You know, blacks were blacks and the women enjoyed their size. See, she's just happy to be large - she holds more cookies. "Mr. Alderman": I'm with you. If I were black I wouldn't want to be memorialized as a cookie jar. . .I did a little research on you. You were involved in a pretty brutal gay bashing. . Your friend here took down a transsexual. What did he/she do - make a pass at you? (drums on the soundtrack, this is a complicated back story) "Matt": "Mr. Alderman": Oh I got a friend in the department. I run a check on anyone Ariel brings home. It helps me sleep at night. "Matt": Is this where my dinner invitation disappears? "Mr. Alderman: This is where I tell you that you always have a place at this table. . . You behaved like a man and that takes balls by the way.
"Ariel": Oh, dad, did I tell you that Matt's father is a plastic surgeon? "Mr. Alderman": So now then you grew up with all that liberal multi-cultural, poly-sexual double-speak and you still turned out to be a many of honor, huh? So now I’m truly impressed. Dad passes the food and asks if "Ariel" gave him the earring. They assent and she squeezes "Matt"s leg under the table. "Mr. Alderman": I've got a job for you. I think you're up to it.. ."Mrs. Alderman": He's never had a son. He's always looking for a protégé. "Mr. Alderman": Do you think you could get me the patient files from your father's office? Matt, do you know what the phrase 'mental duress' is? People claim that their mental health is being jeopardized by something they don't like about themselves (Oh- there's that phrase again!) and then they get their insurance companies to pay for it. Like Jews get their noses fixed. Gays get their organs lopped off. And me and a lot of other hard working guys like me don't have time for 'mental duress'. And end up picking up the tab in higher premiums. One of these days, you'll have a family of your own and you're going to have to choose between a bike for your kid or health insurance. Unless, of course, you follow in your father's footsteps. "Matt": No, that's not going to happen. Wait, how do the files help? "Mr. Alderman": They tell us which of these health insurance companies are the most lenient with these elective surgeries. And then we use that information to put pressure on the government. "Ariel": (very seductively) I'll go and help you for support. . . . "Mr. Alderman":I see a kindred spirit. Maybe a friendship down the road. "Matt" rushes off to the wedding and his fathers object to his "skinhead jewelry": Why should I have to compromise? This is who I am! In the next episode, he and "Ariel" are hot and heavy in bed and they declare their love for each other to his fathers' anger. A couple of episodes later, "Matt" realizes she and her father are fanatical racists and they break up.(updated 12/15/2005)
E.R.'s "Man With No Name" by executive producer David Zabel on 10/6/2005 starred Jessica Hecht as a woman who has a roller skating accident on a J-Date with a geek and reveals she's concerned that she has tested positive for the BRCA breast cancer gene. Her mother died of breast cancer and she's embarrassed to finally admit to taking dubious "natural" preventatives from Mexico that turned out to be giving her anemia and lead poisoning. I thought "Abby", the recovering alcoholic nurse turned doctor whose own romantic life is a train wreck, blithely pushed her too hard to prophylactically have a double mastectomy when she expressed concern about a fading future with marriage and children, but the last we saw she was consulting with an oncologist so we don't know her decision. The issues of risk and percentages were glossed over. A subsequent episode, "Wake Up" by Janine Sherman Barrois, revealed that this story line was part of a breast cancer awareness campaign sponsored by one of the show's advertisers (this didactic Lifetime TV-type message approach is probably one reason the show's ratings are falling). Hecht's character is distraught that despite her double mastectomy she will not be able to have reconstruction due to complications. You ruined me! she screams at "Abby," Who's going to marry me? Who's going to have a kid with me? . . . You just give doctor talk. You don't get it. She's given up on internet dating sites and bemoans that she won't be able to breast feed a baby. "Abby" then reveals that she too has a family history of breast cancer but has not had the courage to have a mammogram but because You were incredibly brave she now will. Meanwhile, "Abby" finds the geek date, who was despondent that the patient had spurned his efforts to visit her, and brings him to her bed side. (updated 10/21/2005)
Grey's Anatomy had a similar story line in the "Let It Be" episode written and directed by women, writer/producer Mimi Schmir and director Lesli Linka Glatter, but they made the character much more ambiguously Jewish. The ethnic identity of "Savannah" (played by a blonde, lively, sexy Arija Bareikis, i.e. wouldn't be conventionally perceived as Jewish) is not identified, though she cites an extensive family history of breast and ovarian cancers, as well as the genetic marker, and she is married to a man identified only as "Weiss," which could be his last name (played by Joseph Lyle Taylor who in his career has invariably played New York ethnics). The debate about prophylactically removing her breasts and uterus revolves around her relationship with her husband, climaxing before surgery with her posing for a series of erotic photos for a reminder to him of what she had. (updated 11/23/2005)
Everwood had the same story line in "An Ounce of Prevention" by Bryan M. Holdman, though there's no specific reference to the women being Jewish and they are both lovely blondes, i.e. again wouldn't be conventionally perceived as Jewish. "Ellie Newhoff" (played by Brooke Nevin) turns 18 and wants to be tested for the gene, as she's concerned because her mother died of breast cancer and her sister "Ruth" (played by Laura Regan) is now in remission after double mastectomies. She tests positive and the plot revolves around her risks, including weighing that her boyfriend breaks up with her when she wants to have the preventive surgery. (4/12/2006)
Jewish women were similarly ambiguous in a Grey's Anatomy episode on spirituality issues in the December holidays, "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" by producer Krista Vernoff. To avoid her serious boyfriend's Christmas celebration, Sandra Oh's "Dr. Yang" suddenly announces I'm Jewish.--because her step-father was "Saul Rubinstein." He asks the dates of Hanukkah this year and if there's any Hanukkah carols (an unfamiliar pop Hanukkah song bursts out on the soundtrack) or other traditions he should be aware of, she's oblivious to all and protests I haven't observed religious holidays since I was old enough to know better. and equates his religious beliefs with believing in Santa Claus. He kicks her out of surgery for disrespecting him - but has a decorated Christmas tree and full lit menorah set up when she comes home. A sweet-natured, brown-haired patient "Mr. Epstein" is married to a blonde and has three tow-headed children and they celebrate all the holidays, they proudly announce, including "Chrismukkah," which has entered popular culture from The O.C., and was also on the sit com Girlfriends with a Jewish father and African-American mother. The strength of intermarriage is emphasized when "Mrs. Epstein" tearfully pleads with "Dr. Shepherd" to re-do his brain surgery to bring back the genial personality of the love of her life.
"Tell Me Sweet Little Lies" by Joan Rater and Tony Phelan also unnecessarily played on Jewish women stereotypes. We're introduced to a returning porcine heart valve implantation patient, plump, curly dark-haired "Mrs. Naomi Cline" (played by Jill Holden) who is deliriously happy at finally being married, noisily showing off her wedding ring from a geeky, balding grey-haired discomfited guy complaining at her giggly attentions The honeymoon should be over by now. She's exhausting. In trying to figure out why her valve is failing, "Dr. Grey" is sure she's lying -- the House-imitation-like theme of the episode-- about using drugs It's not normal. Nobody's that happy. and twice does a tox screen. The second one finally reveals a raised serotonin level that indicates a tumor.(2/15/2006)
"The Green-Eyed Monster" episode of Veronica Mars by Dayna Lynne North and directed by Jason Bloom had an unusual visual surprise. "Veronica," as a private detective, discovers that the suspected gigolo is lying to his suspicious rich intended. Instead of playing tennis he's getting Hebrew lessons from a rabbi. We see him, oddly, wrapped in a tallit reading Torah. Seems the heiress, who has been hiding her wealth, for whom he's bought an engagement ring, is Jewish and he wants to surprise her with his conversion. We don't see the resolution of their relationship, as it turns out he's also been hiding from her that he too is wealthy. (10/25/2005)
"Mixed Matches" by Gail Pennington, The St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 2/11/2006:
"on the UPN sitcom Girlfriends, Toni (Jill Marie Jones), a Southern Baptist, ran into problems and eventually divorced Todd, a New York Jew (Jason Pace). The couple’s differences, however, centered more on their clashing religions than on the fact that he’s white, and she’s black. In a sitcom rarity, Girlfriends addressed the race question directly when one of Toni’s friends said, 'Toni and Todd had absolutely no business getting together.' The friend told her husband, 'Marriage is hard enough without having to deal with all that race and religion drama. We’re lucky. We’re both black and Baptist.'" I'm looking to transcribe the dialogue with the Jewish mother-in-law/grandmother, as evidently raising the baby Jewish was a custody issue. I tried catching up on reruns in syndication and BET, and it seems that her Jewish mother-in-law has only appeared twice, once passively at their mixed-religious wedding, each time played by a different actress. I have seen an episode where "Toni"s determined not to let "the white folks" get her baby but throughout her courtship and marriage there's virtually no reference to Jewishness until they had a baby. Up until the custody battle, their arguments were much more about money and selfishness. The actress playing “Toni” left after this season. Without referring specifically to the Jewish character, in “Mixed Blessing” by Greg Braxton, The Los Angeles Times, 2/26/2007: “Mara Brock Akil, creator of the CW's Girlfriends and The Game, said she felt that the trend of depicting interracial love as ideal and harmonious smacked of dishonesty. ‘I find it not only false but unfortunate that the very thing that defines the 'interracial couple' is not explored,’ said Akil, who has included story lines about the differences of mixed couples in both of her shows. ‘And by not exploring race, not only do you miss the opportunity for great stories, you miss what is unique to their experience. . .It's the elephant in the room. TV tends to shy away from where it thinks it will offend. Couples of different backgrounds are dealing with this. To not show it makes it bland. They might as well be of the same race.’" (updated 2/26/2007)
Julianna Skiff on The Sopranos (on HBO - repeated frequently and On Demand) Only in the last episode of the 6th season, "Kaisha" by producers Terence Winter, Matthew Weiner and David Chase, was it confirmed that the very sexy, hard-driving real estate agent played by Julianne Margulies with the beautiful mane of curly brown hair was from Hanukkah people when her lover, "Tony"s married nephew (and expectant father) and fellow non-recovering addict "Christopher Moltisanti," complains that she has no Christmas tree. He then refers to her as Jewish when he confesses to his jealous Boss. Much of the episode is taken up with the lovers at 12 step meetings, falling into hot lovemaking and then too boozed and drugged out to get up for even that in bed or in cars in a Days of Wine and Roses tribute montage.
We first met her earlier in the season in "Johnny Cakes", by Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, where she approached "Tony" about selling a neighborhood market institution to Jamba Juice. She flirted with him to get the deal, but initially resisted his sexual overtures: For once in my life I will exercise some self control." But they kept dancing around each other while doing business, and sex is clearly one motivation for him agreeing to the deal when it coincides with some other machinations, until he at the last minute pulled out of having sex with her due to a very atypical bout of spousal fidelity. At the beginning of the finale, "Tony" is regretful and tries to rekindle the flirtation, but she dismisses him. He does note to his shrink that she fits the pattern of his past mistresses - smart brunettes (previous ones were Italian and Russian).
We didn't learn too much else about her except her concern for her elderly parents, and she only resurfaced briefly in the last season, in “Kennedy and Heidi” by Matthew Weiner and David Chase, at “Christopher”s funeral, where she explained her presence there to “Tony” and his wife, “Carmela”: I’m a recovering addict. I owe him a lot. To “Tony”s discomfort, “Carmela” comments: Good-looking woman. (5/17/2007)
NCIS- Ziva David -- (On CBS, Tuesdays at 8 pm, repeated frequently on USA. Season is out on DVD with supplements that could provide additional insight on “Ziva”, including commentary tracks on select episodes, “The Women of NCIS”, “NCIS Season of Change”, “The Round Table”). Mossad agent "Ziva David" (played by the Chilean actress Cote de Pablo) was a guest role on "Kill Ari" by executive producer Donald P. Bellissario, the two-part season opener for this 3rd season of a procedural involving crimes committed stateside involving Navy or Marine personnel or property. We first see her dressed in butch fatigues but with saucy dialog, to put a purring foreign, less fraternal spin on the teasing banter her late predecessor on the team had with the chauvinist hunky "Special Agent Anthony 'Tony DiNozzo" (played by Michael Weatherly who was sexier on Dark Angel). When she catches him having a sexy daydream about the dead agent -she brags Oh women do it too. With handsome men. And even occasionally women. She lets down her hair and "Tony" responds: You can sit there provocatively or you can tell me what you want. Turns out she not only already knows all about him, but gives their new boss's boss an enthusiastic Shalom and greets her with a kiss on both cheeks, who explains they've worked together since 9/11 - and later explains "Ziva" is damned good. . .She saved my life in Cairo.
But uh-oh. She was assassin "Ari"s control agent for his work undercover with Hamas (I have to say that no matter what villains of whatever (super)nationality Rudolf Martin plays on whatever shows, he's fine to look at, like Sark from Alias) and there she is murmuring on the phone to him: I don't want to lose you too. We then get a bit odd back story on Mossad as being parallel to the Mafia as a family business (allowing "Tony" to exchange Italian for "Ziva"s Hebrew) and see "Ziva" get called on the carpet to report to a "Deputy Director David" --ah-ha-- her father. Mark Harmon's gruff, demanding unit chief "Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs" tells "Tony" to Stay on her ass. and he follows her to a hotel pool where she exchanges pleasantries with another woman who looks enough like Ziva to be her sister - but what really got his attention was zeroing in on the Star of David she wore around her neck. Gee, she clearly had to be another Mossad agent because who else would wear a Jewish star in the D.C. area and sure enough, "Ziva" had slipped her a new passport and cash for "Ari."
As confessional exposition we get back story on this tangled web of relationships. "Ziva" explains: I lost my little sister Talli from a Hamas bombing. She was the best of us. She had compassion. . .I only wanted revenge. . I was Mossad long before Talli. . .there was an aunt. . . a lesbian lover. I volunteered. Then we hear "Ari"s long confessional explanation -- he's "Director David"s bastard son by a Palestinian woman, trained from childhood to be a mole in the camps. "Ziva" shoots him dead just before he shoots "Gibbs" and she announces He's my half-brother. That didn't really sound like kaddish she then recited over his body, and then she accompanied his body back to Tel Aviv.
"Ziva" returned and formally joined the team in the 4th episode of the season, "Silver War." (I haven't transcribed that one yet though I've read that she's reading the same men's magazine that "Tony" is, only in Hebrew.) In the 5th episode, "Switch" by Gil Grant: The team sarcastically pronounces her last name with the accent on the 2nd syllable, Hebrew-style. She's played Ninotchka-like as a humorless soldier, i.e. I should warn you - I'm not very good with women, and bristles at polite acts of chivalry. She trips over American English slang and idioms (like "yard sale" and "he's on the goat" and "If the glue sticks.") though she knows 5 languages, and is seen later in the season reading The Dictionary of American Slang. She is oblivious to popular culture - I don't have a TV. and later in the season punned on her fond memories of the Paris Hilton, as she constantly demurs In my country. . . or In Israel we have a saying. . . in a running joke, and mixes up "social security" with "social services." In "Deception," by Jack Bernstein, she thinks she's getting the idioms right: Does a bear sit in the woods? and You can't see the jungle for the ferns. Or in "Light Sleeper" by Christopher Silber she says I've learned from Gibbs that you can attract more bees with honey. However, she is the first one to ever stand up to "Gibbs", slamming an elevator to stop to insist that he treat her with respect.
In the ridiculously salacious "The Voyeur's Web" episode by David J. North (wives of servicemen posted in Iraq are making extra money through a porn web cam site), it's clear that "Ziva" will continue to have double entendre and coy exchanges with "Tony" as I've never had sex with you. Does that mean I'm a virgin? She demonstrates that she knows the correct way to turn on a vibrator and complains that Some of the American men I've been meeting seem to be, how do you say? up tight. But, unlike her predecessor, she treats him to dinner when his hot date cancels due to her husband.
In "Code of Honor," written by Christopher Silber and directed by Colin Bucksey, we (and her You don't want to know team) don't actually learn her mysterious torture techniques that get crucial information by reducing a suspect to quivers -- illegally and despite that all the real facts show that brutal torture isn't effective in interrogations. While the sassy bantering continued, which I think is one reason this show has become a hit this season, this seemed like something more out of Alias, 24 or TV's La Femme Nikita than Abu Ghraib or whatever is going on in those secret locations in Eastern Europe. (In "Model Behavior" by David J. North she noted: I assume you know that I've never performed an interrogation without inflicting some sort of pain. -- so the point is to make the Mossad the bad guys compared to Americans?) (In "Deception" she balked when they're trying to get information out of teenage boys: I don't interrogate children. - and her boss sardonically points out: No, you talk to them. However, in "Iced" by Dana Coen she had absolutely no compunction in falsely accusing a stereotyped Latino gang leader of terrorism in order to access the super wiretapping powers of the Patriot Act.)
Sweeps Weeks saw more salaciousness with "Ziva" hooked up with "Tony" "Under Covers" by L. D. Zlotoff, directed by Aaron Lipstadt as married assassins under surveillance, which was done with much more sexual tension and élan in the TV series of La Femme Nikita, etc. Besides the usual double entendres and physical interplay, "Ziva" aggressively made the point that for the ruse to be realistic, I should be on top. And she snores much worse than "Tony" does, which destroyed any of his sexual fantasies and made me think she should be tested for sleep apnea. Though we did learn that she cleans her gun when she wants to stay focused.
In "Frame Up" by Laurence Walsh she is mystified that an ex-girlfriend egged "Tony"s car: In Israel, we just shoot men who aren't true, which I didn't think was a particularly funny comment on gender-reversed domestic violence, even as a joke. While the two younger co-workers compete for her ratings of their tusches, per some web site, the chivalrous old pathologist "Ducky" translates another of her dad's Hebrew proverbs as "A little fire burns a great deal of corn," as he admits that has never made any sense to him.
In "Probie" by producer George Schenck, the boss whispers in her ear when she expresses skepticism about the titular colleague's claims: McGee is not your father. And he's not Ari. He doesn't know how to lie. Quizzically, this is the only time I've seen him relate a current crime to one of the team's personal life. She, of course, continues to tease "Tony" as he queries whether she misses the old spy game: Well, there was a lot of sex. (In "Light Sleeper" by Silber she has no sympathy for a North Korean counterpart who fell in love: A spy having a baby is an occupational hazard.)
"Boxed In" by Coen, directed by Dennis Smith, managed to find another way to confine "Ziva" and "Tony" together, but the banter was better than usual, as we also got a bit more insight into her. We've just been screwed in here! she shouts when they are backed into a shipping container at the Port of Norfolk by a gunfight with terrorists, when "Tony" corrects her English that they've been "bolted in" (and it turns out to be handy that she can read Arabic). He is miffed that she's been inviting colleagues over for dinner when she explains I like to cook. and she grudgingly provides that in exchange the lab tekkie tuned her piano. When things look bad, he jokes Your life would have had more meaning if you had slept with me. She retorts: Maybe if you had something else on your mind I would have. Really? No. To pass the time, he complains she never talks about herself--Maybe I like a little privacy--and suggests they exchange favorites, like best sexy noir movie. He cites Body Heat, but she says she prefers to have the air conditioning on. He suggests favorite fantasies, she mentions sumo wrestlers. He posits First time you realized that Daddy isn't perfect. but her brusque reaction confuses him because he doesn't realize that raises her father issues. When the container's movement pushes her on top of him, they teasingly recall their earlier undercover escapade unclothed in that position - but this time her Star of David dangles over his face, which turns out to be foreshadowing for him to MacGyver-style use her necklace, attached with her hair scrunchy, as an antenna for his cell phone to contact their boss. Upon their rescue, when he's milking a minor injury, she announces to the team that she'll be cooking him dinner, and the rest reminisce on how much they liked her cholent. In the 1/9/2005 TV Guide de Pablo commented about this episode: "Ziva knows very well what her powers are as a woman, and she really enjoys toying with DiNozzo. To her, every single rumor about American men is confirmed by this man."
"Head Case" by George Schnenck and Frank Cardea opens with "Ziva" actually showing some emotion when they find a severed head. It's far worse when you know the person. She explains that a colleague had infiltrated Hamas in Ramallah and was beheaded. She gets choked up: That's when I decided I'd never be captured alive. She later is disdainful about a timid undercover operation: Why doesn't he just sleep with her? Why not? It's a valid interrogation technique. Her boss "Gibbs" concurs: I've done it. "Ziva" responds: So have I. In the midst of discussion from what the case has revealed about the underside of America, a colleague asks her: You want to go back to Israel? Her surprisingly positive answer: No, I love it here.
In "Ravenous" by Richard C. Arthur, a silly satire of Deliverance, "Ziva"s Jewish star necklace again plays a key role. Passing on a display of pickled pig's feet with a wry They're not exactly kosher. in a rugged grocery near Shenandoah National Park, the hulking proprietor sneers You're wasting your time here sweetheart, I don't date your kind. Fingering her star, she retorts: What is your kind? Breathing? Though she shudders He makes my skin crawl! He's a serial killing racist. when her boss asks her to do an interrogation without breaking his bones, she finds out that he wasn't the murderer because he was at his daughter's dance recital. She gains his trust by noting the Hebrew origin of the daughter's name "Sarah" (not that I think it really means princess). (The killer was the cute park ranger she had been flirting with.)
In "Bait" by Laurence Welch, she is pragmatic that a 15 year old could be a suicide bomber and wryly announces Shalom as she pulls a gun on a Latin American drug dealer's henchmen.
Her banter with "Tony" continued in "Untouchable" by George Schenck as she seeks to avoid having another car accident on her record. He's changing his shirt, hairy chest showing, while he negotiates: What's in it for me? She, breathily, Anything you want. But he tattles anyway and their boss knocks him on the head: That's for blackmailing your partner. While looking for a mole in the Pentagon, she casually notes It just happens that espionage is one of my specialties. As they search a woman's frilly abode, she reveals she too had stuffed animals. When I was 12. She also claims she's gotten complaints from her neighbors: I'm what you Americans like to call a screamer.
"Jeopardy" by David J. North played further on "Ziva"s rep as an annoying drug dealer in her charge drops dead after she explodes and her colleagues debate her culpability: Nice guy still called the Probie: You don't think Ziva is really capable of this, do you? Their boss: She's capable of it. The nice guy continues: But you know you don't really think she would just. . . Boss: Kill someone? Nice guy: Not without a good reason. "Tony": We all know Ziva has crazy Ninja skills. But she has some self-control, right? Not a lot? Some? Never mind. The Brit forensic doctor "Ducky": Jethro, you and I know that this is far beyond Officer David's character. There's no sign of any physical altercation. Boss: With her training there wouldn't be any. "Ziva" defends herself to him: When the elevator doors opened he refused to go in. If this had been a year ago, I would have snapped his little neck, but it's not and I didn't. I asked him several times to get into the elevator and he wouldn't. So that's when I struck him. Boss: How? "Ziva": With my fist. Boss: Where? "Ziva": In the jugular. . . It was just a little love tap. . . I've seen your American movies. This is where I resign. Boss: Next time you hand over your badge you better be prepared to lose it. Assigned to desk duty in a very fetching, tight embroidered, see-through blouse, she fumes with a malapropism: I'm being treated like a leopard! Do they think I'm going to enter the building and massacre everyone? . . I know I didn't kill him. While, as usual on network TV series, she's exonerated when the victim is found to have had a congenital problem, the implication that she's being civilized by her experiences with NCIS is intriguing, but unclear if this is a personal growth and maturity on her part that we haven't learned about before or some sort of veiled comparative commentary on U.S. good guy muscular tactics for truth, justice and the American Way vs. those mean ruthless Israelis who stop at nothing.
"Ziva" played an unexpectedly moving and emotional role in the season finale "Hiatus, Part 2" by executive producer Donald P. Bellisario. Boss "Gibbs" has emotional-triggered amnesia from an explosion which can only be solved by his memory and the team has despaired at finding triggers for restoration. But not only has she finally mostly mastered American idioms and revealed that Dances With Wolves is one of her favorite movies, she shakes "Gibbs" to his core by bursting into tears and confessing to him that she was "Ari"s murderer. You killed your brother? She sobs. He holds her in a big hug. I owe you Ziva. She earns a rare privilege to address him by his first name: I'll collect Jethro.
In a TV Guide Q & A 8/28/2006 with "TV’s sexiest special agent", Cote de Pablo gave her interpretation of "Ziva" of what interviewer Mary Murphy called "the intense season ender. Your character, "Special Agent Ziva David", really came undone. A: "Ziva" had been keeping a lot of secrets, and in the finale she was struggling. Her NCIS family perceived her to be icy and cold, which she is not. She denied many things to wake up every day and do this job. She denied she killed her brother, and she denied she left Israel, her country. And when she revealed it in the final breakdown scene with Gibbs (Mark Harmon), it was like a confrontation with herself, almost like a punch in the belly." And what's in store for the next season: "I am going to confront my past, the link to Mossad and the things from my past and my father (the deputy director of Mossad). But I need help. And I can’t turn to anybody at NCIS. The only one that doesn’t doubt me is 'Gibbs'." (updated 4/22/2007)
The L Word - Jenny Schecter in the 3rd Season (on Showtime, repeated frequently and On De